mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

Or else the 4th of May

Genius...

I wish I could write poems

Of elegance and style

That touched the reader's very soul

And left them with a smile.

I must not be unwary

Of opportunitee

So when the chance arises

I grab it all for MEE!

I wish I were a hosepipe

Connected to a tap

Instead I'm just a drainpipe

I'm really rather crap

Juxtapose

I think my phone is dying

blamelewis

Its number has come up

I'm ringing for a doctor

But he can't think of a suitable rhyme for 'up'. Mercy killing

I really wish that Camembert

Did not smell quite so strong

I'd like to gobble down a pound

Despite the awful pong. oblig.

I wish that influenza ack ack

With whisky could be cured [Pen] Get well soon.

But this, I fear, is fanciful

But drink it if your bored. Get well soon, pen.

I wish that pen feels better

Botherer

Than pencil in my hand What?!?

Abhor all things hexagonal

We live in circle land

Tuj

I wish I were a hedgehog

Scuttling 'cross the road

I'd swerve between the traffic

CdM

Till permanently slowed

I wish I was a kerb stone

I just love to be stepped on

And scraped by fancy wheel-rims

CdM

And occasionally slept on

I wish I were a conductor (CdM) Nice one.

Feeding voltage to a train

Trundling up the District Line

My job's a shocking pain

I wish I were a Christmas card [pen] I was half expecting the rather more prosaic "and trundling down again."

Sold for charitee

For orphans or for UNICEF

With love for you from mee

I wish I was a Dundee cake

A-fill with fruitiness

Scoffed in no time - yum yum yum

Then thrown up - what a mess

Each day I feed my pussy cat

It grows a little fatter

And when I think it's grown enough

I'll fry it in some batter

I wish I were a lighthouse (Darren) You BASTARD!. Welcome back, BTW.

Standing firmly on a rock

So everyone who saw me [Rosie] Thanks!

Could sail in and safely dock

It seems the harbour's frozen up

CdM

And though it looks quite nice. easyfeeds r us

I think there'll be some fun and games

if someone has the dice

I wish I were a slithy tove

A-gimbling in the wabe

I'd stick one to a borogove

Then frabjously outgrabe

I wish I were on the Ning Nang Nong

Where the teapots jibber joo

My flannel's got a funny pong
Was that from washing you?

I wish I were a domino

Then all these spots I've got

Would mean more than just acne

They'd be right on the dot

My life is like a pack of cards

And fate is playing poker

I've only got a pair of eights

And Mr Soot the Stoker

I wish I were a roulette wheel

Juxtapose

I'd take you for a spin

And if you said "Rien ne va plus!"

I'd still ask for your PIN.

And now alas, I'm stony broke

I've frittered all my cash

On booze and birds and lines of coke

Hidden text

Rude alternative:-On booze and birds I didn't poke.

Pablo -

You pay the bill - must dash!

I wish that Amy Winehouse would

Put on a paper bag

She really is an ugly, skinny,

Tone deaf, pissed up hag.

Findus fish fingers are no more Some spiffing ones in the last week, well done!

The Firm's be frozen out; iCPB - excellent

Captain Birds Eye rules the roost

Such gastronomic clout.

I wish my unicycle had

An extra wheel or two

Fogey

For I'd prefer to bi- or tri-

-cycle along with you.

To drive an eighteen wheeler

Needs a beefy set of pecs

Unless there's power steering

Or warp drive (like Star Trek's)

I wish I were made of perspex

I just love acrylic glass

Every part of me'd be see-through

But not my clothes, alas.

I've just received a box of cheese

Tilsit and Bel Paese

My cheesy habit they will foster
Replacing Brie and Double Gloucester Don't get me started on cheese...

I wish the folks of Limpopo

Would choose a better name

And Peneloopij's scansion

Is OK. What a dame!

I wish I were a hedgehog

Curled up into a ball

A compact spiky little sphere

Impeneteraball. ....apologies....

I wish I were elastic

Your highly flexing friend

Our friendship is fantastic

Juxtapose

But plastic in the end

[K, S, p (me), J] That one is exciting and sad at the same time.

I wish I were a Velcro strip

I'd stick where I'm not wanted

And when you ripped my sides apart

I'd be non-orthodonted. ....difficult....

I swim beside my manatee

She's such a gentle soul

Without a trace of vanity

We queue up for the dole

I wish I were a High Court Judge

I like to dress in wigs