mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

With acne, grease and bile

Juxtapose

My ears all full of safety pins,

My vocabulary vile

I wish I were an aerial

A Yagi not a dish

Grabbing waves ethereal Why has this sat here for a week? It's not difficult.

Is that too much to wish?

I'm glad I'm not a poofter

Or a drag queen with a pouf

And though I'm homophobic

I like a bit of rouf.

Simons Mith

A ladder in my stockings

A stairway to your dreams?

Held up by suspenders

And other fiendish schemes.

I wish that colonoscopies

Were broadcast on the telly

Just the place for yet more crap

To turn our brains to jelly

[i,p,R,S] V. Good

Projoy

I wish I'd done some thinking

Before I chose to speak

So now my foot is in my mouth

RAAK

It's been there all the week.

I wish I was an alpaca

Instead of being a llama

But then again a camel

Is one to cause a drama

I wish I were a farmer

With fields all bare and ploughed

I'd grow my hops and barley

No trespassers allowed

Alas, the fields are flooded

So let us all grow rice

Now, now, please don't have a paddy

Paddy leeches aren't nice

I wish I were a boxer

Rather than a scotty

Or even a dalmatian in a desperate bid to get this moving again

Costing fifty zloty. Crap, but it'll do. (CdM) Well done. No-one's fault really.

[Rosie] I was expecting "dotty" :-)

I wish I had the foresight

To know what banks to short

Then I'd make a killing [Rosie] I thought that I'd primed it for the last line to be something like "Cos my nose is snotty" but there you go ...

If I'd sold what I bought sorry for the doublepost, but it just seemed right

I wish I was a chimpanzee

Tossing off with vigour

I'd stare at you from in my cage

Robin

(For chimps that's so de rigueur)

I do so wish I could speak French

Simons Mith

The language of romance

Much better than the Double Dutch

Tuj

"Take off der pants, der pants!"

O! Would I were a poet!

nights

My verse, it would astound

And what it lacked in scan and rhyme

I'd make up with sheer sound.

I wish I were a sculptor

Wrestling with wet clay

Trying to create beauty

In a Venus de Milo way

I wish I was a frisbee

Spinning through the air

I'd land in someone's picnic

With buoyant savoir faire

I like my steak done meejum rare

Blood-stained, not dripping red

Served up with crispy onion rings

And crusty, warm French bread *rumbles*

I wish I were a salmon [Pen] Nicely topped and tailed

Swimming to my spawning ground

And though I'm going 'gainst the flow