mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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Attempts to prove us wrong

She or he'll be pilloried

In poetry and song. Fat chance

A cross-eyed bear called Gladley

Met a cock-eyed bear called Bill

The pair devoured a wall-eyed pike

Strabismus wins two-nil.

I wish I were a dashing spy

Dashing from Prague to Rome

With pistol, gloves and killer shades

And camera in my comb

Perhaps this deserves several verses ..

I'd have no need for mundane things

I'd love my Austin Martin

Its blazing guns would clear the road

And leave the baddies smartin'

My basic needs would be supplied - usa

(Women, wine, and poker chips)

My cool, suave charm would be applied

To Octopussy's swaying hips.

Nasty villains I'd track down

Mmmmm - try that with more space

Software - Nasty villains I'd track down

Blow up their secret hideaways

they'd stroke their cats to no avail

Their henchmen turned to runaways. oish

On service to Her Majesty

My license is to kill

With ricin or with bullets' aim

Either way it's brill.

I'm on the SMERSH most-wanted list

But do not care a jot

I'm women-and-martini-pissed

My suave is all to pot

Most of all, I'm just so cool

My machismo knows no bounds

But that's my dream. In real life

I'm a milkman on my rounds Well, that was fun while it lasted :o)

I wish I were a painter

My house I'd decorate

I'd paint it in pink candystripes

and sell it to the Tate

I wish I were decisive. That spy series wasn't bad at all. A bit of polishing and it would be reminiscent of Milligan.

Or do I? I'm not sure

But then, on the other hand

I like to dither more

I wish I could remember

Whatever I forgot

But did I forget anything?

My memory says not

I wish I could stop dreaming

and rouse myself from sleep

But the arms of Morpheus

Are lovely, long and deep

Oi! You nicked my bicycle!

How can I get home?

The bus is gone I've got no dosh

So Oi'll polish off me pome

I wish I were a test pilot

In stratospheric realms

Mach IV would seem slow to me

Until I hit those elms.

I wish my sinuses would drain [Rosie] marvellous finish!

Then I could hum fine tunes

But sadly I just suffer Which I do, actually :o(

Most Aprils, Mays and Junes. (blamelewis) Cheers. I was inspired by the thought of a mate who flies a Tiger Moth. Top speed 80 mph and it can just about clear the trees.

I wish I was a tiger moth

I'd aim to clear the trees

With wooden prop and wings of cloth

Being careful not to sneeze.

I wish I was a cauliflower

With fractal-like florets

But please don't overcook me (Raak) Yeah, all right, :-)

Else I'll get the sweats

I swoop above the cabbage fields

To look for Peter Rabbit

Airborne death falls from the sky

The vultures dive and grab it.

I wish I was a Brussels sprout veg cascade!

Fresh-steamed and dipped in butter

Best Brassica that ever was

"I hate you!" children mutter

I wish I were a curtain (Softers) About right. :-)

Upon a Broadway stage

I'd be raised revealing stars

From Vaudeville's golden age

A second use for cabbages

Which very few folks know

Is in machines of Babbage's

To smooth the data-flow.

Excellent stuff. Bravo those people

I wish I were a Pearly King Here Here!

A cockney through-and-through

Robed in gaudy sequinned bling

And act 'oity-toity too

I wish I were a Weetabix

Or two - they're best in pairs

But quick, I go all soggy

If with liquid one prepares

I wish I was a Metro train

My headlights incandescent

'Neath the streets I would wind

In ecstasy transcendent.

A duck is sleeping on the tracks

Its head beneath its wing

It doesn't hear the closing train

Now it's dead, poor thing re last one: I would have thought someone would have spotted something like - "N'ere stopping at the 'Crescent" but there you go.

We're stopping at the "Crescent"

Let's all get out and look

This station looks quite pleasant

Aye, fancy, in't it, chuck?

A smart and well-kept station

Is wond'rous to behold

It fills me with elation

And makes me brave and bold.

I wish I worked for TfL

They're full of japes and stunts

When storms blow leaves across the lines

I think "Those useless people."

I wish I didn't have thith lithp

'Cos really I'm dead hard

I'll thmack the thod what takth the pith

Or callth me a wetard ...and fair enough...

I'd like to spend my life at sea

A-seeking grog and plunder

And have a girl in every port

Who's willing to go under Yeah, mine's hanging in the hall, thanks.

I wish I'd been a Chippendale

In lycra posing thong

However, I am but a weed

And won't reveal my dong

I wish I were a checkout clerk

With barcode-reader thing

I'd wear my name-badge upside-down [Soft/Raak/Rosie/blame] Genuinely laughed out loud.

Of Tesco I am King.

Outside the supermarket

Beside the bottle bank

I'll take myself in hand right now

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