mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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And act 'oity-toity too

I wish I were a Weetabix

Or two - they're best in pairs

But quick, I go all soggy

If with liquid one prepares

I wish I was a Metro train

My headlights incandescent

'Neath the streets I would wind

In ecstasy transcendent.

A duck is sleeping on the tracks

Its head beneath its wing

It doesn't hear the closing train

Now it's dead, poor thing re last one: I would have thought someone would have spotted something like - "N'ere stopping at the 'Crescent" but there you go.

We're stopping at the "Crescent"

Let's all get out and look

This station looks quite pleasant

Aye, fancy, in't it, chuck?

A smart and well-kept station

Is wond'rous to behold

It fills me with elation

And makes me brave and bold.

I wish I worked for TfL

They're full of japes and stunts

When storms blow leaves across the lines

I think "Those useless people."

I wish I didn't have thith lithp

'Cos really I'm dead hard

I'll thmack the thod what takth the pith

Or callth me a wetard ...and fair enough...

I'd like to spend my life at sea

A-seeking grog and plunder

And have a girl in every port

Who's willing to go under Yeah, mine's hanging in the hall, thanks.

I wish I'd been a Chippendale

In lycra posing thong

However, I am but a weed

And won't reveal my dong

I wish I were a checkout clerk

With barcode-reader thing

I'd wear my name-badge upside-down [Soft/Raak/Rosie/blame] Genuinely laughed out loud.

Of Tesco I am King.

Outside the supermarket

Beside the bottle bank

I'll take myself in hand right now

There's only me to thank aha!

It doesn't take a lot to find - [pen] tee hee

You've nothing in your purse [pen] :0)

So stick it on the credit card [pen] thank you

And let the debt get worse aka Patience Strong.. Would someone give me a break from moralising last lines please?!

I count my money every day

It takes me all the morning

Whoever said that crime don't pay?

They've not read the safety warning to put this one to bed

I like to dress in orange garb

and paint my buttocks blue

Then storm the pitch at Boundary Park

And entertain the few.

I smeared my shins with marmalade

Said Paddington one day.

Mr Gruber frowned and shook his head

"Sticky little bears can't play." ...there.

I wish I could be somewhere else

And even then, not there

Where'er it is I seem to go

I'd rather be elsewhere.

I've just come back from nowhere

Or Redditch, as it's called

Up there they talk quite funny

As they think "called" rhymes with "carpet". Eh?

I wish I had a time machine

Like that I once had soon

This time I'll read the user guide

No matter how jejune

I wish I were a molecule (Phil) V good!

Of purest anthracite [Rosie] I used to have a chemistry teacher who pronounced it "mow-lay-queue-all",

I'd rule a landscape miniscule

With my atoms all packed tight

If I had much more money

I'd buy myself some friends

I'd bask in sycophantic praise

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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord