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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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Juicy, big and round Now, now ....
I'd squirt my juice onto your face
Then watch you writhe around.
I wish I were an acorn
A-dangling in my cup
I'd grow up to be a shady oak
Beneath which drinkers sup
I wish I were an Ouija board
The naïve I would then trick
With messages from t'Other Side
Like this one; "You're all thick!"
"The water's creeping up our road!"well, not mine, but a good friend from Oxford is coming here tonight as his road is being slowly inundated :o(
Defying gravitee Bloody pedant.
When in reaches my abode
I'll abandon ship and flee!
I wish I were a cowpat
Chock-full of biomass
In the sun then I shall dry
to a discus, not morass
I wish I were an asteroid
Wand'ring round the sun
When I got bored of orbiting
I'd crash a planet and be done
I wish I were a crater
Perhaps one on the moon
I'd keep cheese cool for later
Rather, as one says, than soon. Cheese crater, cheese grater. I dunno.
I wish I were a lightbulb
I would be so switched on
But, unpredictably, I'd pop
(or flicker, if neon).
I wish I was an inert gas
So noble I would be
I need no friends and make no bonds Explain XeF6, then, clever clogs.
I'll float, as an anomaly
Welcome, enigma2060. Don't I know you?
I wish I had an inkling
But I think I've missed the point
I'm sure I once knew something
My brain's gone; it's this joint.
I wish my nose were shorter
For people think I lie
Or that I am prying
When it pokes them in the eye.
I wish I drove a big red bus
Along a big bus lane
I wouldn't stop for passengers
I'd drive them all insane
I wish I was a frying pan
Sizzling on the stove
Your bacon would come out real crisp
A breakfast treasure trove
I wish I were the Ace of Spades
The Leader of the Pack
I would trump all other cards
Red's red, but Black is black.
I wish I were a harem guard
My scimitar all curvy
But the limit to my manhood
Is sky-high 'cos I'm pervy.
I wish I were Hungarian
A Magyar through and through
I'd feed all day on goulash
Rhapsodise on paprikash too
I wish I had a caravan Would save all this 'Moving House' lark
The desert I would cross
I'd own ten dromedaries
Of which I'd be the boss.
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