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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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I wish I were a reference book
For field mycologists
With coloured plates of nasty moulds
And endless Latin lists
I wish I were a tapeworm
A good fifteen feet long
I'd curl around inside your gut
reciting Patience Strong
I wish I was a washing line sales of clothes pegs up 1400% over the past year, say ASDA. A result of wanting to 'go green', or of escalating fuel prices making it too expensive to run a tumble dryer? Personally, I have always pegged out...
Festooned with all your knickers
My gentle parabolic form Don't tell me it's a catenary - it ain't.
Admired by passing vicars
I wish I were a thunderbolt (irach) Rather nice. (pen) Me too. But have you got wooden pegs?
Then through your roof I'd crash My missus wants a tumble dryer because she believes that the towels would be *fluffier*. I say bollocks, and that they would be worn out quicker at great expense. Over my dead body, in fact.
I'd sent a jolt right through your head
And turn your brains to ash.
I wish I was a dolly peg [Rosie] Some are. I think dolly pegs snag as you shove them on, so I prefer the spring-clip ones. I have some wooden, and some jaunty coloured plastic.
On Blue Peter I would star [pen] I am old enough (and so too is Rosie ;o) ) to remember the gypsies knocking on one's door trying to sell them!
They'd make me into something nice (pen) You don't mean these, do you? (Softers) Yes, I remember them, too. BTW on this machine your small font is almost unreadable but better in italics.
A Dolls House or a Car [Rosie] Hmm. No, I didn't, I meant the clothes peg dollypeg. If you google image 'dolly-peg, you get both kinds.
I wish I was a polliwog
Swimming in a pool of slime Actually, what Rosie drew is a 'dolly' for a dolly tub, not a dolly peg.
Just like our dear Prime Minister (Softers) Some young girl nicked my monicker. No respect.
He does it all the time
I have no need for artifice
Toujours au naturel
Quite basic and right down to earth
That sweaty stink of hell
Your house, in my opinion,
Is just a bit de trop
The portcullis, moat and drawbridge
Will simply have to go check French scansion
I wish I did like esgargot
And did not boke at snails
But those slimy little gastropods
Taste just like puppies' tails.
I'm rather fond of mange tout
But hate the smell of swede I don't actually. Love it. Arrrr.
All brassica is just divine
But man, just taste this weed.

In honour of penelope's recent revelation that she may soon be seen in a Dutch cap-acity...
What?
I wish I were in Amsterdam Certainly has a deal of attraction from where I stand
From where the tulips come
I'd try to speak in double Dutch
What is the word for 'bum'?
[pen] Easily done online. Take your pick: achtereind, achterste, bips, gat, kont, staartstuk, zitvlak
I wish I didn't have the gout
It makes my tootsies hurt My cousin has had it. Riotous living, being a solicitor.
I might have swallowed too much stout
Then try taking St John's Wort
I wish I were a diction'ry
Then I'd not be lost for words
But if I were a lavat'ry
I get sat on by birds resorting to Cockerney argot to avoid obvious feedline
s/I/I'd
I wish I had an iPod
For every time I've heard:
Why Apple™ is so wonderful
Despite not having Word.
I wish I were a firework
Waiting for ignition
My stick stuck firmly in the ground
Will jeopardise my mission You put the stick in a tube stuck in the ground as it goes up with the body of the rocket, Softers. If you stick it in the ground, the rocket ain't going anywhere.
[pen] firework isnt = rocket, indeed some fireworks require the sticking-in-the-ground simply because it's safer that way, but I see where you're coming from
[pen]I thought it was a neat finish :o)

Software - I'm glad I'm not at Wimbledon

Where wind and rain prevail
Much nicer to sit snug at home
With a tankard full of ale
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