mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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Then give her bum a whack

I wish I were a bandicoot

(a bonzer Aussie mammal)

I'd live inside a handy boot

And coat it with enamel moving along...

I wish I were a roundabout

In scenic Swindon Town

I'd be adorned with traffic lights

And make the drivers frown

I wish I'd find a dodo bird

And teach it how to fly

Alas, such thoughts are quite absurd

Can't find one -- wonder why?

I wish I were a traffic cop

I'd stand right in the road

Gesticulating wildly at

Your girlfriend's outsize load

I wish I were a toothbrush

And you were my false teeth

I'd brush up against you gently

In Morningside or Leith

I have no need for silicone

I'm all up-front, you see

My hair and teeth are still my own

And my feet I still can seeThere you go again, Chalks, making us boys all excited ;o)

If I had a ham sandwich

I'd throw away my Spam

And with a ripe tomato

Choke that bastard Sam-I-am. What an irritating sod.

I wish I had some lemonade

For I am truly parched

I'd drink it mixed with English beer

To keep my top lip starched

I wish I had some creme brulée

And here's the reason why;

I love to crack the skin on top

It's crispier than pie

I wish I had a napkin now

Because I've spilt my milk - Tuj First Line Takeover eh?

There's no use crying over it

I am not of that ilk Limited opportunities there, Chalks

Running the line:

I wish I were a footballer Keeping Tuj at bay .....

Who scored a winning goal

I'd slide ten yards upon my knees

And then whip out my pole I'll get me coat.

I wish I wasn't always first Just seems to keep happening...

One could always miss a turn

But MC⁵ is addictive
And I am slow to learn

There, can't be my go now.

I wish I were a magistrate

Then yobs I'd really hammer

I'd put them all in clink for eight

In the Sing-Sing slammer

I wish I were a biscuit tin *sigh*

And you a custard cream

Within I would enclose you

In my snack housing scheme.

I wish I were a piece of cake

I'm easy, will that do?

But do take care, for I've got nuts

And could taste salty, too best just to spit.

I wish I were a sock puppet

Like Sooty, Sweep, or Soo

I'd sock it to 'em Muppets

And Punch and Judy too

I wish I were a tuba

Of highly polished brass

Eighteen feet of convolution

Designed to play 'Whispering Grass' Ladies & Gentlemen Mr. Don Estelle. Don't all leave at once.

I wish I were a raindrop

Falling on your nose

I'd make a splash and trickle

Like dew upon a rose

I wish today was Saturday

And that this month was June

The year was nineteen fifty-two Get out of that, y' buggers. :-)

Tonight there's a half moon only if it's the 14th though

I wish it were the fourteenth day

Of my two-week detox

I'd celebrate the standard way:

Oh, what a paradox!

I wish I was a lemon rind

Fruity, empty, yellow

Like Bognor on an April day

Where old farts rant and bellow.

[i;D;IS,P!;R] Splendid
I wish I were a German car

Assembled in Bavaria

Mein engine would be wunderbar

Mein driver's seat is chairier.

Di-methyl-phenyl-benzoate

Oops...
Di-methyl-phenyl-benzoate

Is a curious ester

Its use is as yet inchoate Come on, Raak, what are the positions of the bloody methyl groups, 3,5 or 2,4? This recipe cannot be completed without this info.

P'raps Raak is a jester

I have a simple view on life

You're born, you live, you die.

You may give rise to others

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