mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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And make capybaras sneeze

Oh, dweel

While dweeling round the whipple tree

Parailing all I'd wotten (Tuj) Ah!

I groiled a nupthuck's pack o' three

Which craulked me something rotten :-(

[R, R, K, C] I'm reminded of Kandra Woods, a game of Jabberwockian verse I've only encountered as part of the currently dormant* Furcation Game but a full version of which took place at MCiOS (also currently dormant**). Doesn't meant I shouldn't have checked my spelling though :P

* a bit hopeful: approaching 1000 days since the last move!
** hopefully dormant on a far, far lesser magnitude

Shall we continue in the same vein for a while?

I wish I were an actroblub

Or knew just what one was

[IS,P] Hmmph .. don't wanna play, eh? NOW what do I do? Carry on regardless Jabber-stylee [as Kim suggested] or attempt to follow your lead? Friday mornings are simply not designed for such decisions :-)

[Chalks] I'd argue that this one could be continued with an attempt to define an actroblub in the Jabba style.

[Ispers] Good argument :-)
I wish I were an actroblub
Or knew just what one was
My quoil stope seems to fit the bill

I'm absolutely pos.

The quirly bims of Ishtaru

Upon the city wall

Their ush-hahas all vixy blue (ISP) There y' are - it's a quoil stope. Say no more. But for the "t" it could be the kids next door - Extreme Crying.

I'd love to paint them all [Chalks] Ispers? Lovely!

Of all the strogs in London

And Witney Scrotum too © Peter Tinniswood, I have to admit.

The Glob, of Hurley Pustulae

looks most of all like you.

The plimp-kneed zilk of Trescoreen

Whom some may july april

Will never gretch the flommits of

Gremlits naar the burbling rill

'Tis time, methinks, to discourse

'pon brassicas and Georges

Legumes and tubers

Pah! wrong scan

Kim - 'Tis time, methinks, to discourse
Irouléguy - 'pon brassicas and Georges
Software - Let's consider legumes too

and sounds of Victor Borge's
*sssssssswish pop*

I like the old tradition

Of rhyme that scans with sense

As for all this modern stuff,

'Twill be banished hence.

I wish I were clairvoyant

For I'd like to foresee

Which witches might be buoyant

And which we'd drown with glee.

I wish I were a hampster

Or a furry hamster too

Or a furry, furry hamster

And hampster coloured too

I wish I wore a witch's watch

Upon my gnarlèd wrist

My timings I would never botch

Appointments never missed

I wish I had a second head

So no need of forked tongue

As such, I've just a second hand

And also a third lung

I wish I were a sewer pipe

A-shifting Mersey trout

My belches, feculently ripe,

Would noxious vapours spout

I wish I were a music box [R,S,R,i] Bizarrely delightful!

So easy to wind up

Thus people would oft take me

For a playful singing pup. - sorry - I posted just to get rid of the darn thing. Not the easiest line to follow, Monsieur Softers, am wondering if you had a final line in mind when you posted?

I wish I weren't an England fan

It's getting somewhat bland

Whether soccer, cricket, rugby

So best stick head in sand.

I wish I were an Irish man

I'd have the name O'Reilly

And cheer the boys at Croker Park

Because I'm really smiley :-)

I want to have a raison d'étre

But sadly can't speak French;

Instead, I'll eat this raisin bread

Je mange, donc je suis wench.

I wish that I could sprachen Deutsch

And read Immanuel Kant

Es wäre gut, and would bear fruit

And like Hitler I would rant

Я не говорю по-русски - that's 'ya nye gavaryou pa russkie' (I don't speak russian)

And have never wanted to

Except when calling up a Huskie

For a bit of how-de-do

I wish I were an isobar

Behind Susan Powell's back

I'd pluck a string on my guitar

Then give her bum a whack

I wish I were a bandicoot

(a bonzer Aussie mammal)

I'd live inside a handy boot

And coat it with enamel moving along...

I wish I were a roundabout

In scenic Swindon Town

I'd be adorned with traffic lights

And make the drivers frown

I wish I'd find a dodo bird

And teach it how to fly

Alas, such thoughts are quite absurd

Can't find one -- wonder why?

I wish I were a traffic cop

I'd stand right in the road

Gesticulating wildly at

Your girlfriend's outsize load

I wish I were a toothbrush

And you were my false teeth

I'd brush up against you gently

In Morningside or Leith

I have no need for silicone

I'm all up-front, you see

My hair and teeth are still my own

And my feet I still can seeThere you go again, Chalks, making us boys all excited ;o)

If I had a ham sandwich

I'd throw away my Spam

And with a ripe tomato

Choke that bastard Sam-I-am. What an irritating sod.

I wish I had some lemonade

For I am truly parched

I'd drink it mixed with English beer

To keep my top lip starched

I wish I had some creme brulée

And here's the reason why;

I love to crack the skin on top

It's crispier than pie

I wish I had a napkin now

Because I've spilt my milk - Tuj First Line Takeover eh?

There's no use crying over it

I am not of that ilk Limited opportunities there, Chalks

Running the line:

I wish I were a footballer Keeping Tuj at bay .....

Who scored a winning goal

I'd slide ten yards upon my knees

And then whip out my pole I'll get me coat.

I wish I wasn't always first Just seems to keep happening...

One could always miss a turn

But MC⁵ is addictive
And I am slow to learn

There, can't be my go now.

I wish I were a magistrate

Then yobs I'd really hammer

I'd put them all in clink for eight

In the Sing-Sing slammer

I wish I were a biscuit tin *sigh*

And you a custard cream

Within I would enclose you

In my snack housing scheme.

I wish I were a piece of cake

I'm easy, will that do?

But do take care, for I've got nuts

And could taste salty, too best just to spit.

I wish I were a sock puppet

Like Sooty, Sweep, or Soo

I'd sock it to 'em Muppets

And Punch and Judy too

I wish I were a tuba

Of highly polished brass

Eighteen feet of convolution

Designed to play 'Whispering Grass' Ladies & Gentlemen Mr. Don Estelle. Don't all leave at once.

I wish I were a raindrop

Falling on your nose

I'd make a splash and trickle

Like dew upon a rose

I wish today was Saturday

And that this month was June

The year was nineteen fifty-two Get out of that, y' buggers. :-)

Tonight there's a half moon only if it's the 14th though

I wish it were the fourteenth day

Of my two-week detox

I'd celebrate the standard way:

Oh, what a paradox!

I wish I was a lemon rind

Fruity, empty, yellow

Like Bognor on an April day

Where old farts rant and bellow.

[i;D;IS,P!;R] Splendid
I wish I were a German car

Assembled in Bavaria

Mein engine would be wunderbar

Mein driver's seat is chairier.

Di-methyl-phenyl-benzoate

Oops...
Di-methyl-phenyl-benzoate

Is a curious ester

Its use is as yet inchoate Come on, Raak, what are the positions of the bloody methyl groups, 3,5 or 2,4? This recipe cannot be completed without this info.

P'raps Raak is a jester

I have a simple view on life

You're born, you live, you die.

You may give rise to others

Whereby some may wonder why

If I were a mocking bird

I'd know just whom to mock

They'd be mainly politicians

I'd start with Mill and Locke

I wish I were a drainpipe

Quite narrow, dank and long

Then proverbial rats up me would run

While I did sing this song:

Such joy to be a drainpipe!

My rapture knows no bounds!

I'm such a lovely conduit!

No cloudburst me confounds! Is there a chorus?

[Rosie] I think that was it.

I reach from ground to rooftop high

From guttering to drains

Around me winds wisteria

Which drips down when it rains

Chorus: Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

I'm fond of my co-drainage chums

Fine sewer grates and gutter

We hardly ever get clogged up

With unwanted clutter

Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

I've featured in a magazine

Been "Drainpipe Of The Year"

And after people drink a lot

Into me they will pee(r)

Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

I love those sudden downpours

My joy it overflows

I never leak a single drop

Down to earth it goes.

Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

But hailstorms do confound me

They rattle down my spout

They chip my lovely paintwork

Then I don't smile, I pout
Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

I may be getting rusty

Inside but not without

For I've a coat of Hammerite

Which gleams; there is no doubt

Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

When Autumn leaves are falling

And over-gorge my spout

A man appears with rods and stuff

To clear the debris out
Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

My little friend the gutter

Pours his fluids into me

Which makes me quite excited

As I gurgle in glee
Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

My joints are tight and sturdy

My brackets are secure

Truly I'm a fixture

Proud and British to the core!

Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

I've taken out a policy

Against retirement day

For in the end I'll turn to rust

And then be thrown away

Chorus:
Such joy to be a drainpipe!
My rapture knows no bounds!
I'm such a lovely conduit!
No cloudburst me confounds!

I wish it weren't so very hot

It really is quite steamy

I think a storm is brewing here

As I cook my sashimi

I wish my feet weren't quite so wet

They smell like old cheese drenched with sweat

However, my socks

Smell of cream cheese and lox I'm presuming we're having a brief foray into the world of limericks today? :-)

I've worn them two months, for a bet. [Phil] Double helpings of weirdness, after the cooking of sashimi - yuk!

I wish I were a sunshade

Shielding folks from glare

I'd filter out those UV rays

So they would all stay fair.

I wish I were a vulture

I'd circle 'oer my prey

'Cos carrion's my culture

But Zebra's not kosher. Oy vey!

I wish I were a leprechaun

Or perhaps a little pisky

I'd play my pranks from dusk to dawn

And then get smashed on whisky

I'm glad I'm not a postman

Being bait for growling dogs

I'd need my running shoes on

Not these stupid ****ing clogs

I wish I were a bullfrog

A-croaking in the reeds

I'd leap and scare old ladies

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