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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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I looked again and taw it was
A puddy tat indee...
My cat is called Sylvester
My dog is dubbed Stallone
My hamster is named Rocky
Now please leave me alone
Beware of men with pitchforks
Who stalk princes with big ears
In Gloucestershire they breed them
Quite thick, or so one hears
I wish I were a metaphor
Not just a simile
I'd be on ev'rybody's lips
Somewhat like Jade Goody
I wish I were a fixer
Always in demand
I'd never charge high prices
< cockney>"To you, darlin, a pahnd" </ cockney>
I wish I were a Geordie (Irg) Not a Lonodoner, then?
Then I'd say "Whey aye, man"
I've no idea what it means
But at least I've made it scan!
I wish I were a Brummie
Lugubrious but shrewd
Up here I'm in my oil tot
Because I'm in the nude
(yes, that was a non sequitur, but still...)
I wish I were a Scouser
Resenting my victim status - © B. Johnson 2004
I'd pick a lot of fights
With 'em Mancunians that hate us.
I wish I had two pennies
For to rub together
I'd spend them both on bennies
And disregard the weather
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