mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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"The theorem is obvious"

If Euclid has his way

I'm getting used to living

Well above my means

Therefore I am wearing

My pin-stripes, not my jeans.

Tonight I'll have a curry

Perhaps with bits of lamb

I think a spicy vindaloo

Will make a change from Spam®

I wish I were a meteor

That burnt up in the sky

I'd startle and be wished upon

Then fall to earth and die

I wish I were a mothball

That reeked of naphthalene

My sheer aromaticity

Would keep your wardrobe clean

I wish I didn't have to wish

Or make any decision

But the genie says I must

And do it with precision.

I taught I taw a puddy tat

A tweeping up on me This can be sung to the hymn-tune Diadem.

I looked again and taw it was

A puddy tat indee...

My cat is called Sylvester

My dog is dubbed Stallone

My hamster is named Rocky

Now please leave me alone

Beware of men with pitchforks

Who stalk princes with big ears

In Gloucestershire they breed them

Quite thick, or so one hears

I wish I were a metaphor

Not just a simile

I'd be on ev'rybody's lips

Somewhat like Jade Goody

I wish I were a fixer

Always in demand

I'd never charge high prices

< cockney>"To you, darlin, a pahnd" </ cockney>

I wish I were a Geordie (Irg) Not a Lonodoner, then?

Then I'd say "Whey aye, man"

I've no idea what it means

But at least I've made it scan!

I wish I were a Brummie

Lugubrious but shrewd

Up here I'm in my oil tot

Because I'm in the nude

(yes, that was a non sequitur, but still...)

I wish I were a Scouser

Resenting my victim status - © B. Johnson 2004

I'd pick a lot of fights

With 'em Mancunians that hate us.

I wish I had two pennies

For to rub together

I'd spend them both on bennies

And disregard the weather

I wish (to be quite honest)

That you would go away

My patience, it is limited

My nerves do tend to fray

I wish I were poetic, like

But my speech is yoofy

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