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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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And eaten by Reg Varney
I wish I were a trucker
Speeding down to Dover
I'd wave two fingers at the cops
And they would pull me over
I wish I were a little mouse
I'd frighten dear old ladies
I'd chase them breathless round the house
In my MatchboxTM Mercedes [Rosie] Tough rhyme
I wish I had my own front teeth [Kim] Elegantly finished
These dentures are the pits
But implants cost a fortune and don't I know it :o(
As do implants of tits....coat?
I wish I were a sorcerer
Possessed of magic arts
I'd cast a spell on Tony Blair
To make him produce farts...coat!!!!... and hat this time around
I wish I were aattery
BUGGER!
I wish I were a battery
With nine volts and square shape
Much better than those triple As
A better shape to tape Bugger of a rhyme to make any kind of sense, Darren
I wish a were an artety
see Rosie's previous response to typo--
I wish I were an artery
Blown up like a balloon
I'd star in my own angiogram
Excision none too soon.
I LOVE the Aneurysm one... more surgical glow worms coming up...
I wish I was a hernia
That's strangulated tight (BTW, has anyone else recently had a form letter from their doctor suggeting an ultrasound scan to detect abdominal aortic aneurysms? Seems to be in fashion right now.)
I'd then be tucked in cosy truss
To let through all the shite. Taxi for Mr Ewjis.
I wish I were a scalpel
In a plastic surgery suite
I'd always be a cut above
To keep the scarring neat
I wish I was a suture
That stitched your lips together
For labial beauty is my aim
Alas, they're made of leather. . . . no comment . . .
I wish I had insurance
Should ever things go wrong [Rosie] Fairly horrific typo in there - Labiaplastysugeon.com... sugeon???
For I have no endurance
Can't plug this leak for long. (pen) Mm, all a bit fishy. Like a stugeon. Er, sorry about that.
I wish I were a sturgeon
My innards worth a mint
But why do people want to eat
Fish eggs, and then be skint?
I wish I were a tube of glue (Irg) Good question. ("Waiter, this jam tastes fishy").
Many things, then, I could stick
I really think I'm stuck on you
But your smell makes me sick
A universal solvent
Better than aqua regia
Would help me clean my teeth each night
A dangerous procedure
This brain transplant is tricky
I've misplaced the cranial nerve
Someone got a sold'ring iron?
Will three-amp fusewire serve?
I wish I were a member (Softers), penultimate one - V good
Of some exclusive club :o)
I'd show up at the AGM
And shout "Let's go downt' pub!"
i wish I were a dentist's drill
Causing untold pain
I wriggle in amongst the nerves
I suggest you don't complain
i wish I were a newscaster
With perfect teeth and diction
And on my head would be a wig
My quiff, a work of fiction
I'm glad that I did Latin
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