mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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I wish I were a footpath

Leading down the glen

A path to tread with measured gait

Just ev'ry now and then

I wish I were an earwig

In fields quite near to Hülen

Rather than being a mere Whig

I wouldn't look so sullen...time for bed..

I wish I were a keyboard

A qwerty one, in fact

With UK English atributes

Like a ' below the @

I wish I were a springbok

With a very springy gait

'Cos cheetahs can't half motor

And slow bods all get ate

I wish I were a ptarmigan

'Tho based somewhere down south

I'd get myself some Dixie chicks

And feed them "nil by mouth"

I wish I were a tuning fork

Which posessed a perfect pitch

I'd hum so sweetly at your touch

You sexy, dirty bitch. ... mine's on the penultimate peg ...

Is this the last of Glow-worm rhymes?

Or will there be yet more?

If so, let our poetic crimes

Offend the Cres' no Mor

I wish I were the last Glow-wormer

Or do I wish I was?

All good things must end, I fear

And why? Well - just because

The time for limericks has come
This sojourn has been pleasant
So fare thee well our glowing worms
I'll just say Mornington Crescent - even though it doesn't scan

hmmm - perhaps it's a sign that we must carry on :-)

While waiting for a signal

From Humph-er -ry the great

I partook of some escallops

Which normally I hate

I bought my niece a rabbit

She poked it with a stick

The bunny jumped to grab it

And then my niece was sick

I wish I only had one pub

And opened nine-to-five

I'd close for lunch twixt twelve and two

Being most conservative. G & S invoked.

I wish I were a minstrel

Then I would stroll and sing

Alas, most would ignore me

But for me the art's the thing.

I wish I were an android

All gleaming chrome and steel

But I would need an oil can

Or else I'd clank and squeal.

My pea and honey recipes

Contain no MSG

They're simply peas and honey

That's good enough for me!

I wish I were immortal

So I could never die

I'd never be in history books

But noone would wonder why

I wish that I were Peter Noone
Of Herman's Hermits fame

I'd sing lots of cheesy songs

And mispronounce my name

I wish I were a document

Ornately sealed with wax

But being waxed will cause a prob;

I'll melt inside the fax

Magritte, Matisse and Monet

Stole young models away from Manet

*ahem* Limerick alert, young [Irach]. Allow me.
Magritte, Matisse and Monet
The impressionists from France
Stole young models away from Manet
And painted them in pants

I wish I were an oil can (pen) Well done. Didn't know tha came from t'North, though. :-)

[Rosie] Aye. I still have northern vowels but can almost pass (not parse) myself off as a southerner these days, dontcha know :o)
To stop your squeaky bearing

For you are but a metal man

It's just your Gay Pride earing

I wish I was a Popemobile

Then all Pontifs I would carry

To part the crowds, like Dead Sea swells

And drive blokes who can't marry

I wish I was a painter's brush

Dipped in cobalt blue

I'd apply a background wash

With strokes full bold and true

I wish I were a haystack

With needles all concealed

So if lovers in me tumbled

They'd quickly be revealed.

I wish I had no tonsils

'Cos right now they are sore

They don't do any good, I'm told

I don't need them anymore.

This useless old appendix

Has reached its use-by date

I think that I should trade it in

Before I am too late

I'm tired of eating doughnuts

They go straight to my waste

Enhancing life's one pleasure

Spelling klaxon sounds! Waist not waste, sorry all

There's no account for taste

I'm tired of skinny dipping

It's given me a chill

And all that clothing ripping

Hardly give the girls a thrill

If I were a transistor (Tuj) No problem. I took it as an intentional pun, enabling me to be lavatorial, which is good.

Inside a radio

I'd semiconduct day and night

Forever on the go

I wish I had an aubergine

(Whatever that might be)

Made out of purple plasticene

It's an egg fruit, don't you see.

I wish that Ninja turtles

Were still the height of cool

With shouts of "Cowabunga!" [Software] I always thought an aubergine was a French B&B

From kids going home from school. (Kim) It is, but ladies only.

I wish I were a bowling ball

Heavy, round and black

I'd ram 'em puny bowling pins

Momentum I don't lack. Or is it kinetic energy?

I wish I were a firework

Bright-coloured in the dark

I'd shoot up high into the sky

And try to hit a lark

I wish there was a galaxy

Or, failing that, a Snickers

Which we once called a Marathon

Both as ice cream now for lickers

I wish I were a puppet

I'd come with strings attached

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