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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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At* At* At* dammit!
As I.. I.. I.. I stutter
As I.. I.. I.. I stutter (Ahem..., returning sheepishly, but emboldened)
And str-struggle with my lisp
The www.ords I try to utter
Resemble will-o'-wisp - Phew, that was a struggle - thanks Softers me old mate for a great rhyming challenge :-)
My joints are nearly ready
To tackle Pen-Y-Ghent
Such challenges are heady
When both your knees are bent
I wish I were a footpath
Leading down the glen
A path to tread with measured gait
Just ev'ry now and then
I wish I were an earwig
In fields quite near to Hülen
Rather than being a mere Whig
I wouldn't look so sullen...time for bed..
I wish I were a keyboard
A qwerty one, in fact
With UK English atributes
Like a ' below the @
I wish I were a springbok
With a very springy gait
'Cos cheetahs can't half motor
And slow bods all get ate
I wish I were a ptarmigan
'Tho based somewhere down south
I'd get myself some Dixie chicks
And feed them "nil by mouth"
I wish I were a tuning fork
Which posessed a perfect pitch
I'd hum so sweetly at your touch
You sexy, dirty bitch. ... mine's on the penultimate peg ...
Is this the last of Glow-worm rhymes?
Or will there be yet more?
If so, let our poetic crimes
Offend the Cres' no Mor
I wish I were the last Glow-wormer
Or do I wish I was?
All good things must end, I fear
And why? Well - just because
The time for limericks has come
This sojourn has been pleasant
So fare thee well our glowing worms
I'll just say Mornington Crescent - even though it doesn't scan
hmmm - perhaps it's a sign that we must carry on :-)
While waiting for a signal
From Humph-er -ry the great
I partook of some escallops
Which normally I hate
I bought my niece a rabbit
She poked it with a stick
The bunny jumped to grab it
And then my niece was sick
I wish I only had one pub
And opened nine-to-five
I'd close for lunch twixt twelve and two
Being most conservative. G & S invoked.
I wish I were a minstrel
Then I would stroll and sing
Alas, most would ignore me
But for me the art's the thing.
I wish I were an android
All gleaming chrome and steel
But I would need an oil can
Or else I'd clank and squeal.
My pea and honey recipes
Contain no MSG
They're simply peas and honey
That's good enough for me!
I wish I were immortal
So I could never die
I'd never be in history books
But noone would wonder why
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