mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right

Pea and Honey Recipes

help

I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

arrow_circle_up

I'd still wear my dog collar

I got it cheap on Ebay

But the postage cost ten dollar

If I were not a blogger

I'd have no lady friends

But still I'd sit at my PC

And... well, now that depends...

If I were not a toyboy

I'd be a lumberjack

But not in women's clothing

'Cause a gusset it doth lack

Once I had a little cat

I taught it to drink beer

It used to sit upon the bar

With a 'nebriated leer

I wish I were a b'nana

Yellow, smooth and bent

Served up to a b'wana

In Tangier or Tashkent

I'm glad I'm not a toadstool

Elves and faries I do hate

I'm not a sprite's umbrella

But do help toads to mate.

I wish I wish - oh, HOW I wish

That I was ten years old

And didn't have to go to work

Or do as I am told

I wish I were a worker bee

I'm sick of being Queen

I'd have a much less regal head

Not just be an egg machine.

It only takes an hour or so

To wait for sixty minutes

But since e=mc squared

We must work within the limits

I beat my fleas with money

I do it with my wife

That's not to say my wife's a flea

Its just safer than a knife

As I sat, sad and lonely

Just staring at this page

I thought of all my work to do

As this site's hermitage

At* At* At* dammit!

As I.. I.. I.. I stutter

As I.. I.. I.. I stutter (Ahem..., returning sheepishly, but emboldened)

And str-struggle with my lisp

The www.ords I try to utter

Resemble will-o'-wisp - Phew, that was a struggle - thanks Softers me old mate for a great rhyming challenge :-)

My joints are nearly ready

To tackle Pen-Y-Ghent

Such challenges are heady

When both your knees are bent

I wish I were a footpath

Leading down the glen

A path to tread with measured gait

Just ev'ry now and then

I wish I were an earwig

In fields quite near to Hülen

Rather than being a mere Whig

I wouldn't look so sullen...time for bed..

I wish I were a keyboard

A qwerty one, in fact

With UK English atributes

Like a ' below the @

I wish I were a springbok

With a very springy gait

'Cos cheetahs can't half motor

And slow bods all get ate

I wish I were a ptarmigan

'Tho based somewhere down south

I'd get myself some Dixie chicks

And feed them "nil by mouth"

I wish I were a tuning fork

Which posessed a perfect pitch

I'd hum so sweetly at your touch

You sexy, dirty bitch. ... mine's on the penultimate peg ...

Is this the last of Glow-worm rhymes?

Or will there be yet more?

If so, let our poetic crimes

Offend the Cres' no Mor

I wish I were the last Glow-wormer

Or do I wish I was?

All good things must end, I fear

And why? Well - just because

The time for limericks has come
This sojourn has been pleasant
So fare thee well our glowing worms
I'll just say Mornington Crescent - even though it doesn't scan

hmmm - perhaps it's a sign that we must carry on :-)

While waiting for a signal

From Humph-er -ry the great

I partook of some escallops

Which normally I hate

I bought my niece a rabbit

She poked it with a stick

The bunny jumped to grab it

And then my niece was sick

I wish I only had one pub

And opened nine-to-five

I'd close for lunch twixt twelve and two

Being most conservative. G & S invoked.

I wish I were a minstrel

Then I would stroll and sing

Alas, most would ignore me

But for me the art's the thing.

I wish I were an android

All gleaming chrome and steel

But I would need an oil can

Or else I'd clank and squeal.

My pea and honey recipes

Contain no MSG

They're simply peas and honey

That's good enough for me!

I wish I were immortal

So I could never die

I'd never be in history books

But noone would wonder why

I wish that I were Peter Noone
Of Herman's Hermits fame

I'd sing lots of cheesy songs

And mispronounce my name

I wish I were a document

Ornately sealed with wax

But being waxed will cause a prob;

I'll melt inside the fax

Magritte, Matisse and Monet

Stole young models away from Manet

*ahem* Limerick alert, young [Irach]. Allow me.
Magritte, Matisse and Monet
The impressionists from France
Stole young models away from Manet
And painted them in pants

I wish I were an oil can (pen) Well done. Didn't know tha came from t'North, though. :-)

[Rosie] Aye. I still have northern vowels but can almost pass (not parse) myself off as a southerner these days, dontcha know :o)
To stop your squeaky bearing

For you are but a metal man

It's just your Gay Pride earing

I wish I was a Popemobile

Then all Pontifs I would carry

arrow_circle_down

Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord