mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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I wish I had an aardvark

Or two, so they could mate

I would, of course, avert my gaze

When aardvarks conjugate

My terrapins are frisky

They're dancing the gavotte (Raak) Have you been at that Hungarian phrase-book again?

My turtles, on the other hand

Might mate, or they might not

I wish I were a metronome

With timing strict and true

I would tick away the hours

Till my time's up with you

I wish I'd paid the gas bill

So that my range would work

'Cos rubbing sticks together's hard

Just makes me feel a berk

I'm getting all excited

I'm feeling all a-quiver

My brother's getting knighted

Just for falling in the river

I wish I were an emu

Or an ostrich or a rhea

I'd peck at Rupert Murdoch's legs

While we all stand and cheer.

I wish i wasn't Marley's Ghost

I envy Christmas Past

I'd like a Christmas Present

And huge turkey repast

I wish I were a pussycat Shouts of "YOU ARE".

And you were Tweety Pie

I'd try to sneak up to you

And make you scream "You lied!"

I wish I had some shepherd's pie

With which to fill my tummy

With onion gravy, chips and peas

I'll have to ask my Mummy.

I wish I had a pint of ale

Tho' two would be much better

I might just spill them on my lap

Then my crotch would be wetter

I wish I were the Ace of Spades

I'd trump all other suits

And if I were hidden up a sleeve

A French croupier might shout "Zut!"

I know it wasn't very good, but that one was dying a death...

My hovercraft is full !Danger - unfinished sentence!

of ghastly little eels

It will not help me pull

That girlie in high heels.

I think I might be gay

I'll put it to the test

I'll hang around in dodgy bars

And wear a muscle vest

Would you like to go Yet another unfinished sentence - goodness me

Where no one else has gone?

Would that be quite boldly?

And then what, thereupon?

[dear nights] your 3 first lines have produced 3 splendid little ditties, bu-ut - if we're doing 'Glow Worms' correctly, they are all missing a beat, ie: Te TUM te TUM te TUM [te] TUM.

Chalky - I need to find some isinglass

My glasses all need 'issing Can't see a thing...

And then I'll need some ambergris

Ahem, And then I'll need some ambergris

Oh, dear, I think it's missing

[Chalky] Thanks for the pointer. I always was better at English Language than Literature.

I have a brand new toaster

Which has a pop-up feature

It tends to pop up far too soon

Just like Michael Meacher

My microwave has broken down

I'll have to use the grill

It's not easy to brew cups of tea

The odds are slim to nil

I climbed into my oven

To check on my soufflé

I found it rather hot in there

It melted my moufflé - go figure :-)

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