mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

He'd stab me in the tits

I wish I were a telephone

Botherer

With numbers on my face

And when somebody rang me

I'd clang the bells within my base

Sexual Intercourse tailed off
In nineteen ninety-three
(which was much too soon for me)
Between the birth of my second son
And my vasectomy.
- ...and now, back to our usual program...

If I were Ozymandias

Knobbly

I wouldn't make such boasts

Irouléguy

I'd beware of global warming

And disappearing coasts

I wish I were a laser beam

Coherent, thin and straight

Would I be red or I be green?

Such answers I await. ... that's got shot of that one. Now for another ...

I wish so much I'm sure to die

Without acheiving many

Yet, even if just one came true

penelope

You might all call me 'Jenny'

Knobbly

A simple way to make new friends

And get out of the house

Is, sign up with the RAF

And fly with Mighty Mouse

I love to wear tiaras

They're dear; I make my own

I also knit my own ball gowns

Plus my wigs are home-sewn

penelope

My feet are gently melting

So I'm two inches shorter

Perhaps I should have cooled them

In buckets full of water

Tuj

I wish I had some sweetcorn

But I just can't think why

Perhaps I like the texture

I'll tell you by-and-by

I wish I was a mermaid

With fishtail and blonde hair

You'd never get me up the duff <hypocrisy> Sorry to lower to the tone </hypocrisy>

Cos I'm just scales down there

penelope

A single North Sea Herring

Has 20,000 kids

Myself, I aim to beat that

'Cause I've sired four million squid(s)

Knobbly

If every squid in the ocean

Were fed with marmalade

Then my dish of calamari

Would taste like orangeade

Phil

I tried to dance a tango

Alas, I've two left feet

Instead I'll stomp just like Dave Clark for those old enough to remember

And never find the beat.

Tuj

I'd like to learn to foxtrot

I need a dancing fox

'Coz when I try it on my own

I tangle up my socks

The head of Alf Garcia

Oops...
The head of Alf Garcia

Is wanted everywhere

So bring it to me pronto

With its unknowing stare.

I had a little website

No ads would it bear

Nor irritating pop-ups

Irouléguy

Just edible underwear

I think you've created a new nursery rhyme there.

Jack and Jill went up the pub taking the cue

For a little light binge drinking

Afterwards they felt quite sick