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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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But love is aye forever
I only wish that that were so
For some divorce will sever
I think that ev'ryone complains
About the town of Bracknell
And all because that rower, James
Did change his name to Cracknell
When I join the House of Lords
And give my maiden speech
I'll summon all my Zords
To take Black Rod to the beach.
I wish I lived upon the moon
To see earth rise each morn
From dusk right through to dawn
I wish I lived in outer space
Far from the madding crowd
With Bathsheba Everdene
Or with Girls Aloud
I'm glad I'm not a doctor
'Cos I'd be underpaid
Not like a college proctor
Where fortunes can be made
I wish I had an antelope
For they are very tasty
When butchered fit for Masterchef
To make a Kenyan pasty.
I wish I hadn't started this
It leads I know not where (Raak) That's not what they call them in Cornwall
So please be mindful when I kiss
You don’t know what’s “down there”.
I wish that were Santa
For then I would see
When you last had your chimney swept
And who's atop your tree
I wish I had a Christmas tree
With a fairy on the top
Against which my small dog could pee
He will; he cannot stop
If I were a Santa's elf
I'd hammer all the toys
And into one or two I'd slip
Some poisonous alloys
They said that this dog was for life
But life is short for some (Bis) That's rather limericky
[Rosie] Oops...
So I've made him my next of kin
In case people think that I'm dumb.
I wish I spoke Swahili
Then I could reconnect
Perhaps more touchy-feely
No, I'm more select
If I were a snowman
With a carrot for a nose
Angular and Roman
You'd see how much it glows.
If I knew then what I know now
I'd choose a different course
No longer would I need to bow
To Romans, Jutes, and Norse (lament of the Iceni)
I wish I knew the secret
Of trying to sing in tune
But I have a voice just like a frog
So I'll serenade the moon.
I don't forgive the roundheads
For actions cavalier
Old Olie was a tyrant
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