mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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I wish I were a teabag (Chalky) Couldn't've put it better meself.

Floating in a mug

Waiting to be pulled out

Radox The Green

And go dripping on the rug.

I wish I were a teaspoon

For I'm a nat'ral stirrer

I'd swish about inside your mug

Quality Control

mugs off

Whilst rebooting some Glow Worms

For amusiement I need Sorry, I'm a bit pissed. It's the brandy, y'know. Dreadful stuff.

To get some improved scansion

Indeed!

To again reboot this glow-worm

I write a witty line

A quick fix for the short term - [invoking ABAB]

The closing punch is mine!

The glow-worm's running smoother

and I, for one, am glad

We've found our feet and who the

hell could claim that that's all bad?

I wish I were a plectrum trad.

A little plucking thing

And play a tuneful spectrum dodged that one by the skin of our glow-worm teeth

Of stuff you'd like to sing

O to be in finland

Now that winter's here

The coasts's not bad but inland

It's f**king freezing there They run out of the sauna and roll in the snow, I hear.

When thoughts turn to the winter [Software] Don't knock it 'til you've tried it - bracing!

I snuggle up in bed

Waiting for the springtime [nights] I've been in Finnish saunas but not the snow bit.

Like splinters in my head [S'ware] no rhyme? ABAB not compulsory but way more fun.

I wish I had a wrecking ball

I'd ride it into you

'Cos I'm a bit aggressive

And it's a smashing thing to do [Chalky] variety is the spice of life, or so thay do say :)

I'm all dressed up and fancy

But I've nowhere to go

I'm told that necromancy

Is popular below.

I wish I were a hacksaw

With strong serrated blade

I'd cut right through the bullshit

That's how Glow Worms get made - slo-mo in here

I wish I were a magpie's nest

That's full of stolen treasure

I'd pick over the hidden treats

To do so gives me pleasure

I wish I weren't inclined to think

When late at night in bed

That I'm not going to sleep a wink

For fear I'll wake up dead

As I was walking out I found

A silver coin upon the ground AABB declared

I'm rich, I thought, until I saw

Someone who clearly needed it more.

Quite neat, I think, although a touch of the shoehorn is needed in one place. Hidden text
Someone who needed it much more.

As I was walking out I heard

A mournful plaintive cry

Next-door's cat had caught a bird

And ate it by and by

I wish I had a mocking bird

To mock you all day long

Because you are a shocking turd

And more than often, wrong.

:^D

There's something very pleasing about collectively written gentle rhyming insults.
I wish I had a leaky boat

To row on my canal

Shall I add a cheeky note

Or one that's just banal?

I once noticed that a very unremarkable picture of mine on Flickr was getting a lot of clicks. Then I realised that the caption included the word "canal", but I'd left off the first letter.

I want my privets widely viewed

For my topiary is fine

Some might say they're mildly rude

Like privates, by design.

You know how badly these things go

When scansion is awry

As weaker poets' failings show

No matter how they try

I'm glad I'm not a tuning fork

With but a single note

For I have a complex waveform

And a terrible sore throat

I wish I had more sex appeal

But wallflower, that is me

I hang about in corners

And I'd rather watch TV.

I wish I were on holiday

In some exotic place

Dreaming I was far away

From all the human race.

I think I've had enough of work Ain't that the truth

It takes up too much time

It dulls the soul but pays the bills

Radox The Green

Oh, buddy, spare a dime?

[RTG] Nice

They say that work, and lack of play,

Will make you rather boring

But I have always found a way

To live it up while choring.

Well, that's the Jubilee done

These flags are now redundant

Until the next coronashun

When once more they'll be abundant

I wish I had a magic wand

Such havoc I would wreak

As master of the demi-monde

I'm half-price all this week.Moving swiftly on...

I'm glad I'm not a hosepipe

Because I'd soon be banned

From pissing in the garden

In a manner underhand

Radox The Green

I wish I were in Essex

'Cos I'm a dreadful chav

I'd down ten pints of Stella

Then puke up in the lav. oblig.

Radox The Green

Great stereotyping there, is there more?
I wish I were in Bristol

In my Vauxhall Astral car

Scoffing some bananals

Down 'arbourside Oo Ar

Ah wush ah were in Glasgy

Tae swag doon Sauchiehall

And Gie m'sel a swally

Is't me ye're lookin' at, Jimmy? traditional

Radox The Green

Hmmm... I wish I were Mancunian

Let's 'ave it. Proper sound

But you all think I'm in Corrie

'Cos Boddingtons you've downed.

I'm glad I'm not a scouser

With inimitable speech

It's way more posh in Southport

And great on Formby beach. Hooray!

If I sound like a Brummie

As Noddy Holder does

You'd imagine I was scummy

As Noddy Holder was

Hidden text

It most certainly _duz_ rhyme

It's my turn for Prime Minister

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