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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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Quite neat, I think, although a touch of the shoehorn is needed in one place.
Hidden textSomeone who needed it much more.
As I was walking out I heard
A mournful plaintive cry
Next-door's cat had caught a bird
And ate it by and by
I wish I had a mocking bird
To mock you all day long
Because you are a shocking turd
And more than often, wrong.
:^D
There's something very pleasing about collectively written gentle rhyming insults.
I wish I had a leaky boat
To row on my canal
Shall I add a cheeky note
Or one that's just banal?
I once noticed that a very unremarkable picture of mine on Flickr was getting a lot of clicks. Then I realised that the caption included the word "canal", but I'd left off the first letter.
I want my privets widely viewed
For my topiary is fine
Some might say they're mildly rude
Like privates, by design.
You know how badly these things go
When scansion is awry
As weaker poets' failings show
No matter how they try
I'm glad I'm not a tuning fork
With but a single note
For I have a complex waveform
And a terrible sore throat
I wish I had more sex appeal
But wallflower, that is me
I hang about in corners
And I'd rather watch TV.
I wish I were on holiday
In some exotic place
Dreaming I was far away
From all the human race.
I think I've had enough of work Ain't that the truth
It takes up too much time
It dulls the soul but pays the bills
Oh, buddy, spare a dime?
[RTG] Nice
They say that work, and lack of play,
Will make you rather boring
But I have always found a way
To live it up while choring.
Well, that's the Jubilee done
These flags are now redundant
Until the next coronashun
When once more they'll be abundant
I wish I had a magic wand
Such havoc I would wreak
As master of the demi-monde
I'm half-price all this week.Moving swiftly on...
I'm glad I'm not a hosepipe
Because I'd soon be banned
From pissing in the garden
In a manner underhand
I wish I were in Essex
'Cos I'm a dreadful chav
I'd down ten pints of Stella
Then puke up in the lav. oblig.
Great stereotyping there, is there more?
I wish I were in Bristol
In my Vauxhall Astral car
Scoffing some bananals
Down 'arbourside Oo Ar
Ah wush ah were in Glasgy
Tae swag doon Sauchiehall
And Gie m'sel a swally
Is't me ye're lookin' at, Jimmy? traditional
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