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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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It dulls the soul but pays the bills
Oh, buddy, spare a dime?
[RTG] Nice
They say that work, and lack of play,
Will make you rather boring
But I have always found a way
To live it up while choring.
Well, that's the Jubilee done
These flags are now redundant
Until the next coronashun
When once more they'll be abundant
I wish I had a magic wand
Such havoc I would wreak
As master of the demi-monde
I'm half-price all this week.Moving swiftly on...
I'm glad I'm not a hosepipe
Because I'd soon be banned
From pissing in the garden
In a manner underhand
I wish I were in Essex
'Cos I'm a dreadful chav
I'd down ten pints of Stella
Then puke up in the lav. oblig.
Great stereotyping there, is there more?
I wish I were in Bristol
In my Vauxhall Astral car
Scoffing some bananals
Down 'arbourside Oo Ar
Ah wush ah were in Glasgy
Tae swag doon Sauchiehall
And Gie m'sel a swally
Is't me ye're lookin' at, Jimmy? traditional
Hmmm... I wish I were Mancunian
Let's 'ave it. Proper sound
But you all think I'm in Corrie
'Cos Boddingtons you've downed.
I'm glad I'm not a scouser
With inimitable speech
It's way more posh in Southport
And great on Formby beach. Hooray!
If I sound like a Brummie
As Noddy Holder does
You'd imagine I was scummy
As Noddy Holder was
Hidden textIt most certainly _duz_ rhyme
It's my turn for Prime Minister
I'll soon have this mess fixed
I won't do owt that's sinister oblig.
'Though feelings may be mixed
I've got loads of fireworks
They don' arf make a racket
We'll blow up all those dire berks
Tho' they cost a packet
I glad I'm not in Qatar
But I'll watch it on the box
Where punditry and chat are
Making unimportance into shocks.
The 12-day countdown starts today
so let's go down the pub
And sing a jolly roundelay
Then get some beer and grub.
We want some figgy pudding
But Tesco is sold out
So I'll make do with some parkin
And a jug of curried trout.
Surprising what Tesco stocks nowadays!
Forgot that auld acquaintance
And never brought to mind
Eschew that cup of kindness
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