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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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To get some improved scansion
Indeed!
To again reboot this glow-worm
I write a witty line
A quick fix for the short term - [invoking ABAB]
The closing punch is mine!
The glow-worm's running smoother
and I, for one, am glad
We've found our feet and who the
hell could claim that that's all bad?
I wish I were a plectrum trad.
A little plucking thing
And play a tuneful spectrum dodged that one by the skin of our glow-worm teeth
Of stuff you'd like to sing
O to be in finland
Now that winter's here
The coasts's not bad but inland
It's f**king freezing there They run out of the sauna and roll in the snow, I hear.
When thoughts turn to the winter [Software] Don't knock it 'til you've tried it - bracing!
I snuggle up in bed
Waiting for the springtime [nights] I've been in Finnish saunas but not the snow bit.
Like splinters in my head [S'ware] no rhyme? ABAB not compulsory but way more fun.
I wish I had a wrecking ball
I'd ride it into you
'Cos I'm a bit aggressive
And it's a smashing thing to do [Chalky] variety is the spice of life, or so thay do say :)
I'm all dressed up and fancy
But I've nowhere to go
I'm told that necromancy
Is popular below.
I wish I were a hacksaw
With strong serrated blade
I'd cut right through the bullshit
That's how Glow Worms get made - slo-mo in here
I wish I were a magpie's nest
That's full of stolen treasure
I'd pick over the hidden treats
To do so gives me pleasure
I wish I weren't inclined to think
When late at night in bed
That I'm not going to sleep a wink
For fear I'll wake up dead
As I was walking out I found
A silver coin upon the ground   AABB declared
I'm rich, I thought, until I saw
Someone who clearly needed it more.
Quite neat, I think, although a touch of the shoehorn is needed in one place.
Hidden textSomeone who needed it much more.
As I was walking out I heard
A mournful plaintive cry
Next-door's cat had caught a bird
And ate it by and by
I wish I had a mocking bird
To mock you all day long
Because you are a shocking turd
And more than often, wrong.
:^D
There's something very pleasing about collectively written gentle rhyming insults.
I wish I had a leaky boat
To row on my canal
Shall I add a cheeky note
Or one that's just banal?
I once noticed that a very unremarkable picture of mine on Flickr was getting a lot of clicks. Then I realised that the caption included the word "canal", but I'd left off the first letter.
I want my privets widely viewed
For my topiary is fine
Some might say they're mildly rude
Like privates, by design.
You know how badly these things go
When scansion is awry
As weaker poets' failings show
No matter how they try
I'm glad I'm not a tuning fork
With but a single note
For I have a complex waveform
And a terrible sore throat
I wish I had more sex appeal
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