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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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You're just a greedy nutter
And you've failed as a host.
It's June, and light abounds Sorry, Dujon
Tbe fireflies have come.
Hark! What are those sounds!
The firefly's burning bum
The sedge has withered from the lake
And no bird comes to make his song
And no bird comes to sing
Hidden textbetter fits the glow-worm metre
That beauteous woman was a fake!
(Knight's daze is misleading.)
With bluer skies and lengthening days
It's time to set the heath ablaze
A roaring fire is just the thing
To make the roasting pigeons sing - AABB silliness
I long to be a glow worm
A glow worm's never bored
A butt that shines is all they need
To get themselves adored.
I yearn to be a clerihew
But cannot break the mould
Boris Johnson is my name.
Same old, same old, same old.
Soon it'll be midsummer
The pollen count sky-high
'Cos allergy's a bummer (KagS) So it's you, is it
I often question why
I wish I were an epic
But I never learned to ep
So I'll stay among the shadows
And do so step-by-step
I wish I had a genie
In a lamp of molten brass
With a gently glowing yellow light pls pls pls...
That shines out of his arse. What you had in mind, pen?
[Raak] Yes, and thank you - but it wasn't just me. You could see the other contributors were all building up to it...
I wish that it were pay day It is actually, but that just means I can afford the poetic license to imagine that it's not
Then for a while I will feel flush
I'll have a splendid gay day
And top up my fund labelled "slush".
The ration is one verse per week
Or that's what it would seem
Such stinginess deserves a tweak
If we aspire to meme
Rationing poems ought to be a crime
As woeful scansion is
Equally, a clunky rhyme
Isn't quite the biz
Such clunkiness in public prose
Is common as a loaf of bread
So let us roundly condemn those
Whose rhymes have no street cred
Dogs are funny creatures
Although they're none too bright
Their sweet appealing features
Yes, but they smell and bark all night
I hope to take a holiday
In far-off Timbuktoo
I hope they've got an airport
And a ladies' loo
I've booked a short vacation
To somewhere where it's dry
Because my medication
Tends to make me high
Obligatory rhyming
Is really not so hard
But sometimes it just takes a lot
... All right, Software—you're barred!
Hidden textNot really. :)
I try to make it simple easy
'Cos we're all pretty dim
Our IQ rating is the pits
At least it's more than HIM.
I wish I were a laser beam
At least I'd have some focus
My photons in a single team
Marking out my locus.
Hidden text And don’t complain about the pronunciation.
I'm glad I'm not anonymous
For then no one would know
That no one really knows me
So won't mourn me when I go
Now I'm really famous
My TikTok's taken off
I'm known worldwide as Seamus
The new Rachmaninoff
Oh! To be in Trebizond
In 1461
I'd say I was Agent Bond Looks like Q's latest gadget is a bit temperamental...
Hello, everyone!
I need a Covid passport
To see my Chinese gran
The funeral's in Wuhan
Where bats freely disport. [Chalky] Patience, patience
And now I've lost my glasses
I'm drinking from the bottle
Much like the swigging masses
I can barely waddle.
Today is not so boring
My camel's come for tea
Good job I've been storing
Its favorite raspberree.
Whilst brushing up my repartee
Of devastating wit
I found that I was shouted down
By one entitled tit.
Just because I'm sexy
Don't take my “no” as “yes”
My signals are complex, see?
My beard, moustache, and dress.
Don't just stand there smirking
We need some answers fast
This strategy's not working
We’re living in the past tbc
We must address the elephant
And use this GPS
Or nothing will get better
And we'll still be in this mess.
Delivering an elephant
The midwife's sternest test?
Stand well clear - they're heavy
Well, now! Who'd've guessed?
Autumn nights are drawing in
To tinge the skies with gold
And Mr Frosty's fingers
Will have you in their hold.
Summertime is coming
At least in parts more austral
But up here it's dark at four
When shadows haunt the claustral
Christmas time is looming
There will be fun for all
Boris has commanded it
At the Covid-19 ball Mercy killing. Onwards.
Beware the claws of Omnicron!
Hidden textsic
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