Sorry, the 'without' puts it into limerick metre. I'll have another go.
I've got to have my kale leaves
Ground into bright green soup
Then seasoned lightly, not too much,
Sounds disgusting gloop
Priceless. But it's not signed "By Simons Mith, aged 7 1/4"?
Nah, my handwriting's not that neat now. It does belatedly occur to me that to protect against future 404s I should have put the poem in as alt text.
I wish I were a drawing
Sketched out with a 6B
My fine sfumato showing
My outline, fuzzily.
[pen] Lovely ending. Doffs hat and bows.
A muse that's soft and furry
But lightning fast of paw
Always ends up blurry
Crunched by a feline's jaw.
I wish I were a Spring day
However unpredictable
In the sunshine, I would play.
Till rain uncontradictable.
I wish I were a foggy morn
Silent, cold and still
Dead bodies strewn o'er meadow's dawn
It's just the birds that kill.
I test my eyes by driving
In thickest fog at night;
I haven't had a pile-up yet
Hop in! Do you think I might?
I thought I saw a pterosaur
A-flapping up to me Tune: Diadem
But it's just a seagull
As you can plainly see. oblig.
I've spotted spots before my eyes
Like aerated turds they're floaters
Am I looking at a leopard?
Or a group of stoner voters?
I wish I were a meteor
A-streaking down from space
I'd spread fire over all the Earth
And wipe t'smile off your face.
I wish a were a fountan pen
My nickname being "Her Nibs"
I'd leave blobs of ink o'er the place
To show that I'd first dibs.
I wish I were a fountain, pen
Spraying like a dirty tom
I'd dirty all your clothing, then
Put my cap back on
I'm glad I'm not a rabbit
'Cos I'd hate my floppy ears
To dangle in the gravy
and be brown for years
My soup has got a hare in
Call the waiter, please!
It squawks like Orla Guerin
And has a bunch of fleas!
I wish I were a gremlin
Just like Maxwell's Demon
I'd lurk within the Kremlin
And party with lost seamen.
I wish I were a demon
At Dominoes or Bridge
Then I'd have a reason
To expect privilege
If all my dreams and wishes
Were to come true on this day
I think I'd wish for something
That would make me feel gay.