mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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Has made my kidneys stonier

It's not the grotty weather

That makes me think of home

For I'm from sunny Timbuktu

And live in a glass dome!

I wish I had a hammer

And nails and four-by-two

A glue-pot, mitre box, and saw

I'd make a box for you

Now get inside this coffin

And I'll nail down the lid

And once you're six feet under

You'll remember what you did!

If I'd been landed gentry

You'd have to bow and scrape

And offer up your daughters

For legally sanctioned and I really don't feel like completing that line.

I deliberately didn't open that door. Moving on...

I've often wondered if it's true

That drinking caustic soda Once a chemist, . . . .

Quite odd consequences has

On one's body odour

I wish I were a postman

Misdirecting all your mail

Bending all your photographs

When letter boxes fail

I wish I were in orbit

Around the planet Saturn

I'd rearrange its many moons

PS Apols for the distasteful "landed gentry" 3rd line on 26/11. I thought someone would come up with a witty dodge of the obvious rhyme, but now it transpires that I can't think of one either!

Into a pleasing pattern. Will that do?

It will indeed, pen, but this new gravity thing everybody's on about will destroy your artwork in an astronomically short time, i.e. less than ten million years.

Hidden text

It is I, Rosie.

I wish I weren't so sleepy

So flatulent, so dull

I think it's down to Brussels sprouts

And long post-Christmas lull

I wish my resolution

Was not so hard to keep

An easier solution

Just give this year a Leap

I'm glad I'm not a dustbin (Chalky) V neat.

Filled with people's trash

The detritus of daily life

Is hard to swop for cash

I'm glad I'm not a hairbrush

Nor, indeed, a comb

'Cos half a ton of dandruff

Calls your head a home eeeuuuuwwww.

Oh take me to the Mardi Gras!

And watch me dance all night

I'll go without my ma and pa

I'd give 'em such a fright.

I used some CSS code

To execute a coup

But my HTMLability

Has put me in the soup

I used to be a sous-chef

That toiled in sweat and steam

Until I poisoned several guests

With scombroid-riddled bream

I wish I were a battery

Imagine all my uses! [Phil] Phwoar, that's a line

Like powering vibrators coat!

That stimulate the juices hat!

So as your paint is drying

You might just make a movie

With music by George Ezra

Appropriately groovy.

I wish I'd been a Beatle

Back in '64

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