mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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And I'll just issue fines.

I've knocked pen off her perch

And now await her wrath

I'll meet it by yon silver birch - [Rosie] Clearly you're asking the wrong people - I say yes let's!

In ashes and sackcloth

I wish I spoke Hungarian

Bolivian or Urdu

Instead of Rastafarian

Here in Eglwyswrw

Can you confirm it's Thursday?

I've suddenly lost faith

I'll let you know tomorrow

If it comes back as a wraith .. somewhat limited opportunities for a noteworthy Line 4. Sorry.

My thister wath a lithper

They thay that I wath too

Tho I thpeak in a whithper (Chalky) Ahem, thithter.

My thithter thouts through her thoe

Oh FFTh! Thcanthion ruined again :(

*sigh*
Let's try again ..

I find it hard to woll my r's

- My hips are much too stiff

So maybe my new implants

Will make me sound like Cliff Wichard

[Pen] "Move", surely?

With lips as big as Jagger's

And hips like Elvis P

The hands of Paganini

What a sexy freak I'd be!

Autumn leaves are turning brown

Bikini prices coming down

Winter woollies trending up

Then the sodding FA Cup.

I hope I'll rhyme ABAB

Like 'glow-worms' mostly do

I'm not a freakish rhyme, you see

My name's penelope.

A house divided cannot stand

If walls are made of paper

And living in a house of glass

Is not my kind of caper. I seem to have cocked up the last one rather gormlessly.

I'm glad that I'm not Rosie Indeed - I'm amazed you got away with it, frankly :-)

For he's got a girly name [Rosie, Phil] Assumed it was an example of postmodernistic irony ..

His real one? Don't be nosey

That'd spoil his claim to fame

I wish the House of Tudor

Were not so full of beams

Its workmanship is cruder

It comes loose at the seams.

Thus fell the House of Usher

With all-pervading gloom

'Twas worse than Soviet Russia

But filmed - as was 'Khartoum' - which also fell.

[Chalky] I always thought they should make an animated version.

I'm glad I'm not Vince Cable

I really really am

It's sad that he's not able

To plug the cashflow dam

I wish I had an air balloon

I'd fly above your house

Sing love songs like a right buffoon

Until you are my spouse

I hate the thought of housework

It makes me quake with fear

Thank goodness for my Dyson®

And my maid from South Korea. Guffawed at the balloon one - cheers Pen/Phil

I have a pip stuck in my teeth I giggled at the housework one. I'm 50% there.

(That's too much information)

I think it's time for flossing

And a quick expectoration

I wish I were a garden rake Shut up at the back.

A snag-toothed tidier-upper

I'd lie hidden in the grass

A slapstick tripper-upper.

I wish I had a pint of beer

Just like Nigel Farage

I'd drink it down most publicly

There's nowt to disparage Can we stop trying to rhyme things with 'Farage'? It limits the potential of t'rhymes. Ta v much.

When motorists are naughty

I give them one quick toot

And shout "You're doing forty" (pen) I wasn't. First appearance of Mr UKIP in this game.

On the motorway to boot

I wish I were on holiday

Boating on the Kennett

Just sitting back and reading prose

Or scripts from Alan Bennett

If only I were twenty [Rosie] Pen may have been thinking of Mr. Farage's recent appearance in one of the limerick games.

And callow in my ways

I'd dream of lands of plenty

And my many different lays coat!

If I were only forty

I'd be half what I am now

Though not in age, let it be said

I'm just fat - and how!

If I should stumble over

And need help getting up

To hire a crane is rather rude

But sorry - needs must - yup! ... notably few rhymes for 'up'

My waistline is expanding

Oh, what a brave admission

My feet are slow shrinking

With every inch addition

The time has come for action

A fitness plan perhaps

Holds less of an attraction

Than deep-fried bacon baps

I have no time for deadlines

I've better things to do

Like read a book or solve some crimes

Or pop off to the loo

[SM] I genuinely spent over five minutes manfully resisting "loo" and "poo". Congratulations on giving in to your inner schoolboy :-)

I wish I were a toilet roll (Phil) Same here, largely because I thought I'd give you a go. Imagine my disappointment, though SM has valiantly maintained the tradition.

The hard kind, not the soft Oh-er, memories of school

Sitting unused is the goal

So stash it in the loft.

The phoenix' cry is rarely heard Let's try and raise the tone a bit.

A song so cold and bleak

For it is an ornery bird

And someone glued its beak. There's classy ...

I took a class in classic art

I now know Bosch from Dürer

But the paintings in my pantry

Are somewhat more obscurer

Pre-Raphaelite is more my thing

It's simply more expressive

Dante and his art-for-art

And ladies part-undressive

The cubists' art is thus defined:

Abstract with no perspective

Which makes it look less like the real

And more like the subjective.

All art is tosh, I would opine

Except for this piece by Divine

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