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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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Sorry, I limericked. Unless someone can find a way to fix it up. The Whoops button would let me change it, but not remove it, so I'm a bit stuck now.
Just start a new one.
I wish that button turned back time
And held the moving finger back (metre variation alert)
I might think of a better rhyme
Or go off on a different tack
I wish I were a mummy
Encased in tiles of jade
On legs and head and tummy
Our sponsorship displayed
I wish it would stop raining
It will, but not just yet
I've mastered aquaplaning
Bifurcating with But wetsuits make me sweat/But sweatsuits make me wet
I wish I had a potting shed
Where I could grow my pot
With grow-lights shining all day long
I'd be stoned as like as not
I wish I had a clematis Chelsea week, innit?
Perhaps a Russian vine
Both of them get out of hand
And bring your dashed fence "dine." Literally true in my case. (pen) No, it was last week we won the Europa Cup:-)
I've overdosed on Hollyhocks
My nose runs like a tap
I have what look like chicken pox
I hope it's not the clap. No way to not do that.
The larkspur is a wondrous sight
The perfume quite sublime
I've doused it all with gasoline
So I can end this rhyme.
I grew a little pear tree
Its fruit was firm and plump
I swapped it for a milk cow
And made a callithump Callithump. n. a noisy boisterous parade.
I wish I were a corkscrew
But with a left-hand twist
I'd bugger up your fingers
And stop you getting pissed oblig.
[pen] I had "And dislocate your wrist" in mind, but prefer yours.
I wish I were left-handed
For then all would be right
Unles you are a little gauche
But gaucher, that's a blight. No it isn't - Je suis left-handed.
If I were ambidextrous
With hammer, saw and chisel
I'd do my work in half the time
Then tell the boss to swivel
I wish I were a swizzle stick
Warm and cozy in some joe
This is really nonsense
So to the bin must go.
I wish I were a drummer
But not like Ringo Starr
More like those chaps from "Kodo"
They're betterer by far.
Nonsense? Why?
http://www.pier1.com/Scroll-Swizzle-Sticks/2691834,default,pd.html?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=PLA&utm_campaign=google_pla&utm_content=2691834&s_cid=pla0000001&kpid=2691834

http://www.snopes.com/language/eponyms/cupofjoe.asp

I wish I had some second sight
Such wisdom I'd display
I'd not need glasses all my life
.. stepping in before game loses all momentum ..
And double my cachet.
When I was but a little lad
And thought that girls were soppy
I'd go and do those boisterous things
While being rather stroppy.
But after I had adolesced
I took things much more seriously
I opened books and aced the tests
And chased the girls ingeniously.
Advancing age has done me well
My knees are holding up
I've still got hair, but time will tell
That my heart needs a tuneup.
I wish I had a bus pass
I'd travel all day long
'Tho I'd have nowhere to go
I'd sing this happy song:

< mode=song >
The sun shines on the dickie birds
The sun shines on the ants
The sun shines on my privates
'Cos I'm not wearing any pants.
[Raak]
Hidden textI had a horrible feeling someone might miss the opportunity. Phew!
*laughs out loud - like, really LOUD*
I wish it were tomorrow night [Phil] If you were worried, how do you think I felt? I chose my line with that fourth line in mind, but I wasn't holding my breath.
Today seems just so dull [CdM] Well done, sir!
But then, I may not make it
Through one more day in Hull. [CdM,Phil] Your humble servant.
I've always liked the circus
Where threadbare lions roar [Raak] And another excellent last line. Would it be tempting fate to say you're on a roll?
From reverie they jerk us (Shuddup at the back over there in the US).
As through our limbs they gnaw
I wish I were upon the beach
Atop a sandy dune
A glass of beer within my reach
And you, my dear, to spoon
If I had a lot of time [S, C, R, p] Aww.
This coyness, lady, were no crime
But hark! Time's chariot hurries near
So let's get on with it, my dear. Sorry, couldn't resist.
If all the seas were suncream
The fish would squirm and splutter
And if the Alps were made of toast
I'd spread them with snow butter
If you and I were ponies
We'd have a trick or two
We'd dance like Darcey Bussell
With fetlocks en tendu
If 2 and 2 made twenty-two
Two twos would make it too
And two ones too, when timesed by two
I don't give a sod, do you?
[SW] Actually I do. Spoilsport. And after your elegant finale to the last one ... :(
If I woke up with great big wings
I'd take a look at higher things it still fits with the rhyme scheme, AABB,
From somewhere in the stratosphere
For I am bold. What matters fear?
I wish I had an ice cold beer [Chalks] sorry, sorry, sorry
To slake my sun-baked thirst
A lovely glass of Budweiser [Now you're upsetting the real ale nuts. :-) Ice cold is how you serve American horse piss, because at 0° you can't taste how horrible it is.]
With CO2 I'll burst. BURP! (SM) Why on earth do people do it?
If you served that ice-cold muck
I'd assume it was a joke
With such stuff I'll have no truck
I'll stick to rum and coke
Happy hour will soon be here
I'll therefore order double
So whiskey whiskey beer beer
And tons of Dubble Bubble
Hidden textoops forgot this
I'm glad I'm not a snowflake
For if I was I'd melt
For all of my uniqueness
Could no longer be felt.
I'd rather be inside than out
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