mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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I'd deal in contraband

Forget parades and celebrations

My wares are much too grand.

I wish my nose were bulbous

Karl Maldenesque, indeed

I'd snore with improved resonance

My breath it would impede mercy killing...

Have mercy on the graceless

The faceless and the lost

For without eyes they cannot see

And mouthless, cannot floss.

I wish I was a haggis

But fried instead of simmered.

With my buddies neeps and tatties

On pure white plates that glimmered.

Let he who is without sin cast

A blessing on this place

For purity is rare indeed

And we could use some grace

I wish I had pink toe shoes

And a pink tutu as well

I'd prance across the try line

Oh how I wish I was a gel

It only takes a little snip

To right those years of wrong

To redirect each errant ship

And invert that manly dong Coat!

The thickest mist has envelopèd

My normally robust brain

And thus it has developèd

To drizzle, then light rain.

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[Rosie] What ho, old chum!

I'm glad I'm not Italian [Where's you bin, Rosie?]

I'm not a fan of gnocchi

Focaccia brings me out in hives

Like Berlusconi's cock(y). (Softers, Phil(th)) Avoiding irritation and the consequent hypertensive stress and the casting of heavy objects at the screen. However, this place is addictive.

I wish I were a hedgehog

All cute, but rather prickly

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[Rosie] thought so.

I'd take care while crossing roads

Or I'd meet my Maker quickly

I wish I were a filament

Or something just as tenuous

This constant need for intro lines

Is getting rather strenuous Oblig.

I wish that I could start anew

And be sixteen again

I wouldn't have a single clue

But sex would be the same

I wish I knew just what to do

In high-class situations

My knowledge of such etiquette

Is scant, and strains relations.

I wish I could convince you

That rats and voles and foxes

Lack pouches like a kangaroo's

So keep their young in boxes Poor form to post twice in the same verse, but it just seemed right.

I wish my next-door neighbour

Would leave her curtains open

My TV isn't working [CdM] Sometimes you just know what has to be done. We've all been there

So I'm sittin' here just mopin'

I wish the cold would go away

And visit Timbuctu

Cos then, I could just throw away

This useless cure for 'flu

I wish I were the antidote

To all things good and pure

Just read The Sun and take it in

Then don't read any more.

Detaching burrs from dog fur

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