I think this is starting to seem a bit cheesy!

[FGZStar] No whey! That same thought occurd to me as well.

When I was a little girl, my mom worked with ribbons and I'd wear them in my hair. Surprisingly, my friend would ask, what's the Beaufort.

At the risk of getting onto a more serious plane I do remember going into a Delicatessen in Georgetown (a suburb of Washington DC, for non-US readers) and seeing a cheese labelled as Double Gloucester - the English version of Cheddar!
Next to it was one labelled as Low-fat Single Gloucester!

[INJ] That would be a cheese plane, then? They do exist, mainly to take molecule-thin slices of rubbery Dutch cheese of the right size to fit on a piece of bread. BTW, what's a cheese molecule properly called? I genuinely don't know. Cheesium?

(pen) There's every molecule under the sun in cheese (maybe not uranium hexafluoride) and some of them are quite big, like vegetable fats (50-55 carbons). On the other hand some are quite small and volatile like butyric acid, the smelly feet pong.

I want to know if at about 4pm, we can sit down and Havarti.

Oh, so we are on to chemistry puns, or cheese and chemistry puns? Cheesemestry?

Mercaptan's Log - Stardate 28810 :- Uhura is still banging them out, the dirty cow.

Ooh, spooky. I think you need to take a look on orange MC, Rosie.

[INJ] I just saw a cheese here advertised as a "Goats' Milk Chevre".

(FGZs) Point me a little more specifically. I can't find any reference to farting there.

My location has nothing to do with farting.

Well, I wouldn't want to try getting around London with this. How many changes can you spot? (Comparison with the real one is cheating)

There are no stations, no lines, no key, no river.
Do I win?

Are you having trouble viewing the map? It's definitely there.

[FGZ] I like the idea of leaving it mostly correct with just a few subversive entries.

I suppose I did get a bit carried away, especially with the Jubilee line..

I can see it fine now - don't know what happened before.