[Celebdaq] Slightly surprised to find myself at the top of the league this morning - though I realise this is simply due to the usual suspects having been kneecapped.

[Dujon] Yes. It just happened to me.

[Bool] Did you go to Glastonbury?

[Nik] Owch! OK, try this one.

A Polar bear goes into a bar and says "I'll have a gin and





tonic please."

The barman replies "So, why the big pause?"

[BtD] Only by the power of TV. [Joke] Ouch!

I'm wondering whether it might be possible to get an Arts Council grant to fund the Furcation Game...

I got my first 'daq million too... Quite a shock...

Two crocodiles go into a bar and ask for some drinks...
"Certainly sirs," says the barman "but why the long faces?"

[rab] My recent stag night was in Dublin and involved a trip to the Guinness storehouse - did you take your free pint in the Gravity Bar up top? What a view!
[all] And talking of matters marital, a whole bunch of photos from my nuptials are now here - the discerning among you may even spot a Projoy or two in the throng.

I've never seen a share jump like his before in such a short span... I bought him at £3.66/share this morning, he's at £4.02/share as of right now, up 24p this hour....

[BtD] Yikes!

I top all of you with:

A man walked into a bar and said "OUCH!"

Picking up the gauntlet with

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

The barman says "is this some kind of a joke?"

René Descartes is at the bar and the barkeep asks him "Have one for the road?" René replied, "I think not", and *poof*! He disappeared.

A horse goes into a bar,

The barman says "so, why the long face?"

An elephant, a giraffe, and a hedgehog walk into a bar, and the barman says, "I can't wait to hear the punchline!"

Ho ho.
Only just read blamelewis posting - sorry - same joke different animal. BTW - nice table top camera pics. As I have no idea what Projoy looks like - had great fun guessing.

Regaining composure...
A man goes to see a doctor with a little bit of lettuce sticking out of his bottom.
After the examination he asks "Is it serious?"
"I'm afraid so" replies the doctor, "it's only the tip of the iceburg."

A gorgeous blonde walked into a bar and said "I'd like a Double Entendre, please," so I gave her one.

A man goes to see his doctor, and explains that his back hurts. The doctor says "Say 'Ahhh'". "Why?" says the man. "My dog's just died," he replies.

[Boolbar] Thanks for the info. (way up there somewhere)

[blamelewis] Congratulations on your marriage; all the best to yourself and your new bride. Should I survive until October it's 33 years for me. . . ☺

[Re: 'Daq} Grumble, grumble. 750,000 nicker down the drain. I am singularly unimpressed! Anyone got a spare shoulder? As far as the 'jokes' are concerned - I thought mine were bad. ☺ I cannot match you lot, so I shall not try.

Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

[Dunx] That's my favourite joke in the world. Closely followed by
Q: What do you call a fly with no legs?
A: A walk!