I torched a load of very dry hedge clippings today - there's nothing quite so good for the soul as a smoking and roaring great bonfire and hearing the neighbours spluttering as they rush to bring in the washing from the clouds of billowing smoke. And don't tell me about dioxins and furans and the products of incomplete combustion - I know. But unlike my neighbours ( I know what they ate just about every weekend this summer - I could always smell it cooking), I haven't had a barbecue for two years and so I reckon I'm entitled. :o)

Did you start the fire after they put their washing out? I hate it when people do that..

[Snorgle] Of course I lit it after they put their washing out! What neighbour would put out their washing after I lit a fire? Are you one of those neighbours who waits until I've lit a fire before they put out their washing and then complains when it smells of smoke? I hate it when people do that!! ;o)

On speaking terms with your neighbours then? :P

I suppose it depends how long their washing was out. If it was a while, then fair enough.

Persinally, I use Persil. Wonderful for those hard-to-shift bonfire stains . . .

Get a goat. It can then eat the evidence.

Each which evidence? The bonfire or the clothes?