Yes, sorry about that, folks. Too late I realised it would be confined to them as resides north o't' 53rd parallel, except for an Underground station, rather awkwardly. There could be a reference to ursine defaecators, stretching a point.

[Bigsmith] Be glad you're not here now

[flerdle]Crikey. I visited Mornington briefly on a trip down the peninsula to Arthur's Seat and Cape Schanck. Beautiful part of the world (I was staying with friends in Cheltenham just off Nepean Highway).

OK, so I'm finished stage managing the amateur production and nearly back to normal. I had no Easter to speak of, having spent all of Easter Sunday and Monday saying "No, you don't have time to go out for a smoke". How is everyone then?

Just reaching the slump of the year, when the excitement of new year is over, and warmer weather isn't arriving as fast as I'd like. And the clocks changing forward to BST have done me in... I overselpt this morning :o)

Has anything been heard from Chalky since she called in sick on the AVMA?

Also, [flerdle], I'm glad we missed that...

(flerdle) I see that the train passengers were "forced to evacuate". I think in those circumstances I'd have shit myself without asking.

[penelope] We still have daylight saving until this weekend, which is stupid because it's so dark in the mornings that the lights go on...

[CdM, Rosie] Indeed.

It was remarkably warm throughout the day, but the light was very strange. I only went out (to the city: frogstar's birthday) when it was mostly over. There are some more details here and some good pictures of the effects of the storm in the photo galleries. I particularly like one of two surfers with a boat in the background. It was all over by evening (apart from the transport disruption, which wasn't too bad in my direction). It's pretty quiet now, but who knows what will happen in 10 minutes.

[flerdle] eep.

[CdM] Yay. Functioning normally again. Thanks for the thought.

[Chalky] Yay! I was getting seriously concerned about you. I figured you had to be very ill to be staying away from here. :-)

...whereas others would express the view one would have to be rather sick to hang around here in the first place...

(Tuj) After looking at uk.sci.weather I come here for intelligence, sanity and humour. Although mostly amateurs they tend to talk about "severe rainfall events" and put their back-garden weather observations into one of the various meterological codes. Thus we see "SHRAGS", which means a shower of rain and hail. It's going to get a lot colder over the weekend so you'd better watch out for them shrags.

They sound more like giant hairy beasties that crawl through the countryside at night and pretend to be overgrown boulders by day.

Bloomin' heck. I've got my first free weekend at home for about 6 weeks, and I really should cut the grass - mine is the scruffiest on the entire street at the moment. I was going to do it this weekend. But I'm not doing it if it's snowing.
And in other news, I've joined an organic veg box scheme, and have been very impressed with the contents... except the two heads of swiss chard. Any ideas as to what to do with them?

pen] Two heads are better than one, surely?

[CdM] and [Rosie, Iroulé from AVMA] Gastric flu, dehydration, muscle cramps, hospital, rehydration, home, recovery, still weary but OK.

[pen] Last year, me and several members of our family signed up for a delivery to door organic veg/fruit scheme. Although assured otherwise, we were surprised to discover that the contents weren't grown locally [most came from Wales]. I was also looking forward to the unknown contents element but after three weeks of an occasional amusingly-shaped spud and baggy carrot alongside shedloads of beetroot, I'm afraid we all signed out of it.

[penelope] Treat it like spinach (but don't eat it raw in salads - too much oxalic acid which is not good for you. It's made safe by cooking). It grows really, really well here, being able to cope with the heat much better than English spinach. We call it "silverbeet". You can trim off the white spine, wilt it if you like (pan fry until soft) then cut it up and use it in, say, spinach and feta pie, or triangles. Google for some recipes (an image search might help). To keep it for a couple of days (if it's not already wilted), cut a little off the stem and pop in water (like a bunch of flowers) away from heat. If you want my spinach and feta pie recipe (dinner of champions) drop me a line - my name here at the g mail thingy.

Swiss Chard makes a pretty tasty soup too in some decent stock, perhaps with crispy streaky bacon lardons sprinkled over the top, or with some stilton melted in.

[Chalks] Oh golly, that sounds dreadful... pleased they took you in and sorted you out - but do keep an eye on it. 8 years ago my M had huge amounts of abdominal surgery for appendicitis leading to peritonitis - which was left for a week because they thought it was food poisoning/stomach upset... we nearly lost her.
Re: veg - Axshully I was impressed - I know some of it isn't local , but a lot of it is (from the South Holland part of South Lincolnshire which is mostly veg-growing land), it's organic, and it looked good - I got purple sprouting broccoli (I'd rather eat this than asparagus any day) and calabrese, some nice-looking potatoes and carrots, onions, and the dreaded swiss chard, which my sister tells me to braise under a piece of spiced pork tenderloin (or budget spareribs in my case as I've just bought the next ticket to the Netherlands in May and my usual airline has pulled out of the route so I have to go with KLM... I get a sandwich and coffee, but it's £40 more.) Anyway... £7 a fortnight is fine, and I need to eat more veg, so I have to plough through it... geddit? veg, plough... ;o)

(pen) Cut your grass NOW (I'm about to) while it's fine and warm. The weekend looks awful, cold and wet, and it doesn't look much better for several days after that. There could even be snow showers.

[Rosie] No time, sadly, unlike you lucky retired ones. Anyway, the wife has me scheduled for charity work this evening and over the weekend - again. Bugger! Anyway, she normally mows the lawns ;o). [Chalks] you have my sympathy, similarly afflicted over Xmas.

[Softers, Rosie] Quite. I'm in the office until 5 and have been since 08.30. I didn't even leave my desk at lunchtime. And if it's cold, the grass won't grow anymore anyway - it doesn't get out of bed for less that 10°C.
When I get home, I'm going to kick back and start weekending, thatnkyouverymuch.

I'm going on HOLIDAY soon! Well, to Britain, to my parents', but I'm looking forward to it. Thank God for congé de printemps - giving us a breather before the exam insanity begins.

We've got 0 degrees or lower forecast for 3 of the next 5 nights. I'm not exposing freshly-trimmed lawn to frosts if I can help it.

(pen) You're probably right but the problem is that by the time it's dry enough to cut (a week's time, say) it may well be looking a lot shaggier than just now. (Softers) I trust the phrase "the wife has me scheduled" is not entirely serious. (Phil) The forecasts almost certainly refer to the air temperature at screen level (1.25 metres) but the grass minima (as they are called) are always lower by an amount that depends on the wind speed so I reckon 4 out of 5 is more likely.

[pen] £7 a fortnight sounds good. Mine was £11 a week and there was enough fruit for ONE DAY.

I've just got a grass-cutting raincheck... unfortunately it also means I can't get the washing dry either. Never mind, it's just nice to be home for a weekend, for a change. And this morning, I am mostly drinking Civet Coffee, or Kopi Luwak, a present from Indonesia.

Chalky] how awful - hope you're recovering and being properly pampered. Are you able to take proper time off to recuperate?

The grass has disappeared under 4 inches of snow but is already reappearing where I've walked on it due to heat from the ground. There'll be a frost tonight, though.

We've had a beautiful day here in south Lincs - cold, but sunny all day. Light frost this morning, but no snow.

As I make dumpings today for the first time in my life, I can't help but feel that Atora has the suet market pretty much sewn up.

Two words that go together like "bunch" and "water".

[Rosie] All we had here was a bit of sleet :O).

(Softers) Today it's all gone except for a little bit of a snowman made by next door's kids.

[rab] I think Lactulose might be a good idea if you've just made dumpings for the first time in your life!

(Phil) I missed that. It would have given me an idea for There, there and everywhere but it's too late now. I will drop the matter.

[Rosie] I was surprised that you, Raak and Software hadn't spotted it (or had, but hadn't commented - that would have been more surprising).

Now I'm a press officer for a conservation charity, I don't think badgers are funny. They cause too many awkward questions from the press.

[pen] You weren't implicated in the jam-slapping scandal, were you?

I know from a friend's experience that when driving a Transit Van at 50 mph, a badger up the radiator grill is about as unfunny as it gets.

For the badger, too.

Badgers are the Holy Cows de nos jours. What's so wonderful about them, great lolloping things? They can be vicious and would make mincemeat of the average dog not that that would bother me.

[Rosie] ...unless it showed up in a pie you were eating, no?

(Tuj) Your are confusing mince with mincemeat, for which there is little excuse.

[Rosie] Not as bad as today's BBC news website (the front page story about the re-introduction of Moose to the Scottish Highlands) and their Science reporter confusing 'ungulates' with 'undulates'. Schoolboy error. I've emailed them about it already...
Oooh, and Polly Toynbee has replied in person to my quick email in praise of her column in this morning's Guardian, hehehehe! :o)

[Rosie] Both go in varying types of pies, no?

I appear to have developed an annoying peech habit, no?

(Tuj) Not to mention a typo habit, yes? It must be a bad day. :-) (pen) Pah! Small beer! I have received a personally-signed apology from none other than Ian Hislop for a very sick crossword clue in Private Eye, even if it did only consist of two words.

[Rosie] Now you must share the clue, so that we may all be properly shocked and outraged.

[Rosie] I find it hard to imagine you as Outraged of South London".

[Rosie] I should have seen that coming really. Ah well. Do carry on ;)

End of day, ready to go home, I put "stilletto (misspelt) gerundive" into Google, got a single hit and it was you. Hello. Now I feel I have come home: will you have me?

[MD] Only if you're wearing socks.

(Raak) All right. The answer was spittle and clue involved Hawking. Filth is OK, good even, but don't mock the afflicted. The apology said "Point taken" and my guess is there were more than a few of them to be signed by the splendid Hislop, from which one cam infer that he had a word or two in the crossword setter's ear. (Softers) South London!!!??? That's outrageous! I'm in Surrey (just). (Me Dick) Well, personally, I'd rather not but there must be somebody and we are by nature co-operative.

For "cam" read "can". One can get awfully obsessed by Caprotti Valve Gear.

[pen] Yes, that was a good column. [All] I think Stilletto (Misspelt) Gerundive is an excellent game idea. Maybe Simons can get working on the rules.

Instinctively I feel this would be a good game but what would be its aim? (CdM, pen) Toynbee's piece made a number of good points but by her standards was a bit ranty.

[Rosie] Yes, I see what you mean.

I've just completed my first bit of freelance writing for about 10 years - successs! And sent out the bill too... The lucky client, with a Monday-morning deadline to meet, found me online yesterday afternoon and got me working on a Saturday evening. We did the final edit this morning. Now I'm going to finish the ironing, which doesn't pay half so well.

Here's hoping everything went smoothly.

You may now find it is sometimes possible to go back and edit your last move. Any oddities, let me know. I think I've closed the loophole which would have allowed an infinite number of new games to have been started.

No, I meant this is a test. It works!

[pen] Well done!

[Rab] That 'whoops' thingy made me jump when I posted earlier. It reminded me of that vaguely guilty feeling when one sees a policeman. It compelled me to re-read my post just in case I'd said something a bit wrong.

[pennylope] Me haven't done freelance writing since ooh ... way back when ... so much respect :-)

[Chalky] Hmm... I wonder if that's a desirable side-effect or not. I'm sure we'll get used to it!