[Softers, Rosie] Quite. I'm in the office until 5 and have been since 08.30. I didn't even leave my desk at lunchtime. And if it's cold, the grass won't grow anymore anyway - it doesn't get out of bed for less that 10°C.
When I get home, I'm going to kick back and start weekending, thatnkyouverymuch.

I'm going on HOLIDAY soon! Well, to Britain, to my parents', but I'm looking forward to it. Thank God for congé de printemps - giving us a breather before the exam insanity begins.

We've got 0 degrees or lower forecast for 3 of the next 5 nights. I'm not exposing freshly-trimmed lawn to frosts if I can help it.

(pen) You're probably right but the problem is that by the time it's dry enough to cut (a week's time, say) it may well be looking a lot shaggier than just now. (Softers) I trust the phrase "the wife has me scheduled" is not entirely serious. (Phil) The forecasts almost certainly refer to the air temperature at screen level (1.25 metres) but the grass minima (as they are called) are always lower by an amount that depends on the wind speed so I reckon 4 out of 5 is more likely.

[pen] £7 a fortnight sounds good. Mine was £11 a week and there was enough fruit for ONE DAY.

I've just got a grass-cutting raincheck... unfortunately it also means I can't get the washing dry either. Never mind, it's just nice to be home for a weekend, for a change. And this morning, I am mostly drinking Civet Coffee, or Kopi Luwak, a present from Indonesia.

Chalky] how awful - hope you're recovering and being properly pampered. Are you able to take proper time off to recuperate?

The grass has disappeared under 4 inches of snow but is already reappearing where I've walked on it due to heat from the ground. There'll be a frost tonight, though.

We've had a beautiful day here in south Lincs - cold, but sunny all day. Light frost this morning, but no snow.

As I make dumpings today for the first time in my life, I can't help but feel that Atora has the suet market pretty much sewn up.

Two words that go together like "bunch" and "water".

[Rosie] All we had here was a bit of sleet :O).

(Softers) Today it's all gone except for a little bit of a snowman made by next door's kids.

[rab] I think Lactulose might be a good idea if you've just made dumpings for the first time in your life!

(Phil) I missed that. It would have given me an idea for There, there and everywhere but it's too late now. I will drop the matter.

[Rosie] I was surprised that you, Raak and Software hadn't spotted it (or had, but hadn't commented - that would have been more surprising).

Now I'm a press officer for a conservation charity, I don't think badgers are funny. They cause too many awkward questions from the press.

[pen] You weren't implicated in the jam-slapping scandal, were you?

I know from a friend's experience that when driving a Transit Van at 50 mph, a badger up the radiator grill is about as unfunny as it gets.

For the badger, too.

Badgers are the Holy Cows de nos jours. What's so wonderful about them, great lolloping things? They can be vicious and would make mincemeat of the average dog not that that would bother me.

[Rosie] ...unless it showed up in a pie you were eating, no?

(Tuj) Your are confusing mince with mincemeat, for which there is little excuse.

[Rosie] Not as bad as today's BBC news website (the front page story about the re-introduction of Moose to the Scottish Highlands) and their Science reporter confusing 'ungulates' with 'undulates'. Schoolboy error. I've emailed them about it already...
Oooh, and Polly Toynbee has replied in person to my quick email in praise of her column in this morning's Guardian, hehehehe! :o)

[Rosie] Both go in varying types of pies, no?

I appear to have developed an annoying peech habit, no?

(Tuj) Not to mention a typo habit, yes? It must be a bad day. :-) (pen) Pah! Small beer! I have received a personally-signed apology from none other than Ian Hislop for a very sick crossword clue in Private Eye, even if it did only consist of two words.

[Rosie] Now you must share the clue, so that we may all be properly shocked and outraged.

[Rosie] I find it hard to imagine you as Outraged of South London".

[Rosie] I should have seen that coming really. Ah well. Do carry on ;)

End of day, ready to go home, I put "stilletto (misspelt) gerundive" into Google, got a single hit and it was you. Hello. Now I feel I have come home: will you have me?

[MD] Only if you're wearing socks.

(Raak) All right. The answer was spittle and clue involved Hawking. Filth is OK, good even, but don't mock the afflicted. The apology said "Point taken" and my guess is there were more than a few of them to be signed by the splendid Hislop, from which one cam infer that he had a word or two in the crossword setter's ear. (Softers) South London!!!??? That's outrageous! I'm in Surrey (just). (Me Dick) Well, personally, I'd rather not but there must be somebody and we are by nature co-operative.

For "cam" read "can". One can get awfully obsessed by Caprotti Valve Gear.

[pen] Yes, that was a good column. [All] I think Stilletto (Misspelt) Gerundive is an excellent game idea. Maybe Simons can get working on the rules.