(nights) If my experience is anything to go by the activity is self-limiting. I used to briefly hear them nextdoor and sniggered to myself about the rabbit-like duration the process occupied in their case. As a result of this they have two delightful kids whose needs leave them bereft of libido. So the answer is: Nick their French Letters, or whatever they call them over there.

[nights] Record their sessions and set up a web site selling them?

[Pen] That's what Mlle Nights suggested. Plans are afoot.
[Rosie] I believe they're just known as letters here.
[Raak] Erm... probably not a market for it.

]nights] Break into their apartment and put local anaesthetic in the baby oil?

Break into their apartment and set up the recording equipment. You'll make tens of quid.

[nights] I'd suggest registering loudsex.com, but it's taken already.

[Raak] You're the second person today to direct me there. I might have to start reading it full time.