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The Banter Page
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[ISP] Personally, I'm considering temporary suicide. :)
Wonderful to see the BBC setting the standard for English:
Kylie Minogue is the first woman to be honoured with this year's Music Industry Trusts' Award, in recognition of her 20-year career as a pop star.
(ISP) Can't see much wrong with that unless it's the apostrophe. But it could be the Award of the Music Industry Trusts, it there is more than one of them. Possibly there isn't, in which case it's wrong.
[Rosie] How many awards do they give each year? Presumably she's the only person honoured with this year's award, so it's rather obvious that she's also the first woman to be honoured with this year's award. She's also the last.
[Rosie] I think what's wrong with it is the words "Kylie Minogue".
[Rosie] What Phil said. [Raak] I find Kylie Minogue quite pleasing on the eyes, not so pleasing on the ears.
((Phil) Yes, "This year" should be at the beginning and "this year's" scrapped and replaced by "the". (ISP) I've never found her really attractive and she's now metamorphosing into the all-Australian auntie.
talking of the BBC
I was in fits of giggles today when News24 showed pictures of the prime minister and other politicians in the house of commons with a big red banner beneath saying 'sex offenders'.
Popsicles
[IS,P] While admitting to the fact that I'm a 'face man' I do think that K.M. is not pretty. In fact I think she's downright ugly.
[Rosie] "the all-Australian auntie? Surely the world has had enough of that via the 'art' of Dame Edna? Here, have some glads, I'm off to the bunker for a while.
(Dujon) I find Dame Edna very amusing. No, really. What I meant was La Minogue (interesting Manx surname) now looks frumpish, apparently deliberately, because she's not that old.
Kylie's Sunday face
[Dujon] It's the bum that does it for me every time.
Minogue again
There are a few jokes based on her deficient embonpoint.
Skinny Minogue
[Rosie] You haven't seen the photos I've seen, then. Or the video with the bucking bronco. MMMMMmmmmh!
[IS,P] Neither have I...
[IS,P!, UK] I have :-) Kylie has been ever-present in my life since the day I saw her arrive in Ramsey Street, as Lennie Mitchell, and deck Scott Robinson. That was about 1986/7-ish, I think.
(Phil) Yerss.
Manx cats
[Rosie] Really? Though I must admit I've never thought of the root of her family moniker. She's got a sister who is also in the entertainment game - Dannii. I wonder whether she's a tailless type as well.
[Phil] You worry me, old son. Next you'll be telling me that you're a Home and Away follower as well. Eeek!
Go to youtube.com/watch?v=7JdfmB7aXb4
[UK] Incredible you haven't seen this. Perhaps NSFW (unless your colleagues go for Kylie as well).
[Dujon] How very dare you! As if I'd watch that tripe! Although, I will confess that many, many moons ago, I used to watch Sons & Daughters and A Country Practice. Mrs Phil and I were reminiscing about them a couple of days ago. She used to watch The Flying Doctors too, but I never got into it, apart from when I wanted to check out the rumour that the actress who played Maria Ramsey had moved there.
Imports
[Phil] Blimey, how much of our trash to you get over there? Mind you A Country Practice did have a homely sort of feel to it and some of the characters were reasonably portrayed. Not that I watched it of course.
The Devil's Lantern
(Dujon) If we haven't flogged you Big Brother yet you don't know what trash is.
Pumpkins alight
Voyeurism at its lowest ebb, Rosie. We have our own version it seems. 'Turkey slapping' for heaven's sake! Yes, I had a look when it first started all those years ago, but not since. You keep yours and we'll keep ours . . . deal?
Not just Aus, but NZ too..
Mrs Phil used to be quite keen on Shortland Street as well. I think that's abuot it for Aus soaps. One Aus program we used to enjoy, but haven't seen in yonks was Murder Call. It was quite good, dedpite being remarkably cheesy and phenomenally fomulaic.
(Dujon) OK - deal. I read in today's paper that the actual audiences for Big Brother are remarkably small and probably mostly under 25 but the popular press and sometimes the serious press treats it as a serious and important programme. The participants are morons; a distillation of stupidity, and you wouldn't touch them with the proverbial 18-foot disinfected bargepole. Most of my friends have never seen any of it.
Big Brother - big deal
(Rosie) I'm under 25 and I've never seen any of it either. I know that doesn't advance the conversation much; I just haven't said anything for a while and I wanted to feel involoved.
(myself) Involoved?
(Knobbly) I'm sure that word can be rearranged to form the name of a Russian city. I'll come back on that one.
Involoved
If you were devoloved you'd have a nice long palindrome.
[Knobbly] I think you wanted to feel both loved and involved and where therefore forced into coining a new portmanteau word. :)
[myself] "where"? Perhaps I meant "were here".
[myself] Yes, but with or without implied apostrophe?
[myself] Bugger. Whatre the chances of that happening?
(Projoy) 100%. It happened, if I've translated whatre correctly. I should have a lie-down.
[Projoy] I went to Portmanteau once. It was a pilgrimage of sorts, as I am a great fan of The Prisoner.
where?
oops
What I meant was... I saw a big posted advertising the arrival of a new Suzuki car showroom, it might have been somewhere in West Sussex yesterday. Unfortunately the chosen font left a very small gap between two of the words, so it looked like it said: NOWHERE SUZUKI. Cracking.
d'oh
poster*
Just having a moan
Why were marks subtracted from one of my last ever essays for poor use of english because I chose to spell "rôle" with a circumflex in its rightful place?
[Knobbly] Because the marker was a muppet?
Flaking out
Yeah! First snow of the season overnight. Not at my place - thankfully.
(Knobbly) Because the examiner's wife had had an affair with Arsène Wenger. I'd say the circumflex is optional as the word becomes more and more part of the English (note capital) language. It's certainly not wrong.
(Dujon) Do you ever get snow? Must be pretty rare, I'd have thought. Good thunderstorm here this evening with one very close strike (guess 150 yd), the type that produces a crack and a ripping sound.
No, Rosie. Well, nearly no. It is indeed very rare indeed for snow at my level (250 metres above sea level) but it has happened. Last night was the first dusting a little farther up the mountains from me, about a half hour drive. My son lives in the area and my wife headed off to work there this fine morn. I have no idea at this stage as to how much settled but, as is usual in this country, roads were closed and general chaos ensued. I'm guessing that less than 5mm landed, though ice could be the more important factor.
I don't envy you the lightning type storm. That sort of thing is not unusual here at my location. There is a number of stains on the carpet to prove it. :-)
(Rosie) Oops. Yes, I think I changed the capital E when I took the capital U away from 'Use'.
(To whom it may concern) We certainly are having a lot of weather at the moment.
Circumflexes
[Rosie] Did you know that the official French orthography abolished most circumflexes over the letters "i" and "u", except where ambiguity and homographs could occur. This has not bee widely adopted by the French, even though the French Academy encourages it. I know this is not really relevant, but I thought it was QI.
Flash git
(Dujon) I love thunderstorms, the louder and closer the better up to but not including my house. I have found over the years that lightning flashes vary considerably in length and intensity. On Fri 28 Aug 1958 at about 9 in the morning there was a tremendous blinding flash and an almost instantaneous deafening boom. I thought it had hit nextdoor's front garden at the very furthest but again it was about 150 yd away and completely destroyed a large tree. I found out later that it was a high-level storm with cloudbase about 7000 ft so the flash must have been that long. Most are less than a third of that. On the other hand I have seen a flash hit the ground about 20 yds outside the window at work but it produced no more than a loud pop, and was probably very short, a few hundred feet. (Knobbly) Oh yes, there's always the bloody weather, as I found out when I became a junior forecaster and had to do shifts. I left eventually for the pleasures of 8.30 to 5 in the chemical industry and meteorolgy is now just a fairly serious hobby.
Meteorology as well.
(Phil) The French take their language quite seriously, which I think is a good thing, even if they slightly overdo it. We could do with a bit of that in this country but the culture is against it. (Knobbly) I suspect your examiner was "following guidelines" but should have used common sense. To actually dock marks for that is quite absurd.
French
EEEK I've got a French exam on Friday. Had the mock test last Friday and got 40 percent. Need 60 to pass. Already booked myself to redo the year. The embarrassing part is that this is a Francophone country.
(ISP) Where's that, then?
Francophone
[Rosie] Belgium. I use my french under sufferance. Italian at home, English (and some French) at work. French when I need something from a shop or artisan. Flemish never.
mc100
X-POSTED REMINDER: Tomorrow (Fri 22 June) is the 100th Anniversary of Mornington Crescent Station. If you would like to mark this momentous occasion, please come to the traffic island opposite the station before 8pm tomorrow. On the signal, at 8pm sharp, we will all turn to the station, kneel and worship for 30 seconds, then rise and go about our business (which could include going to the pub). Be there or be uncrescent. :)
[IS,P] I thought that the last time I looked you were in Italy, you old globe trotter, you. Or have I got the wrong man?
Turin, Brussels, ...?
[Dujon] You need to pay more attention in MCiOS. I've been here since November.
The surviving parachutist link in the 8-word game
Skipping past his father's beatifully inane explanation of how a parachute works ("The parachute is attached to a container on the skydivers back with a load of lines"), you get to his marvellously tactless quote at the end: "Michael is Michael and he will bounce back from it".
by the way
I think I'm going to move to the Netherlands. eeeek.
pendy Miller
Cool! Give my regards to Captain Snort.
I dunno, you give up work to go freelance, you move country, what next?
[ISP] My money's on a move into politics.
*snigger*
Good lord. If I did, the country would be run along the lines of the WI. And that can be no bad thing. Thrift and jam.
[pen] Are congratulations in the offing?
[Raak] In that I've found a bloke who thinks I'll do for now, yes ;o)
*offs congratulations penwards*
(pen) V. good! I'm pleased for you.
[pen] Though my feminist side wants to know why he's not moving his windmill to London...
[CdM] Planning constraints. And the fact that he has masses of freelance work there and I have very little right now. Now all I have to do is find an English-speaking job in the Netherlands...
Nederlands
I was in the Netherlands last week, and very nice it is too. It seems almost everyone is bilingual (minimal), if disconcertingly sarcastic to my in my native tongue, so I suspect you shouldn't have too many worries.

But, to get you started, zeewolf seems to be catfish.

[pen] Jolly good! Sounds wonderful. And good luck with the job hunting too. I believe there's lots of jobs in Amsterdam which don't require any language (except possibly a few groans), but I'm not sure they're to be recommended....
[penelope] Congrats! Be prepared to be much more proud of your home town once you're an ex-pat.
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord