[nights] Where are you at the moment?

[Raak] If you've been in Norwich more than a year or two and it still doesn't have any culture, it's probably your own fault. If the people who like a certain thing always go to some other place to get it, they perpetuate the situation in which there's a market for that thing in that other place and none in the place they come from. Therefore, people in Norwich who like a certain kind of culture should never leave it, and they'll thereby coerce the place into being the sort of place they like to be in.

(It also helps if you kill off everyone who actively opposes the sort of thing you like.)

a wurlitzer, Uncle Korky? It sounds amusing.

Is it animal, vegetable, mineral, or abstract? Or maybe a high-speed land vehicle?

I believe a Wurlitzer is a specialised piece of plumbing equipment manufactured from pig trotters using a proprietary process in certain secretive factories in the former East Germany. Highly sought after by installers of bidets, the common Wurlitzer can only be purchased if the buyer is recommended to the vendor by at least two other customers and after placing a bond of thirteen Austrian schillings in a specific numbered Swiss bank account.

It became fashionable as a jazz instrument in the Berlin salons of the 1920s, because of its resolutely unmelodious nature in all but the most skilled of hands (just like, say, the double bass) but mostly because it could be eaten in extremity (very much unlike, say, the double bass).

We apologies for this sudden outbreak of lying in what is usually a much more truth-inclined space.

Oh well.

Nonsense. Utter tosh! I tell you it's an instrument consisting of a broad, flat cylinder with holes drilled radially into it at regular intervals, affixed to a length of string to its center. It's also cunningly made with vanes set into it so that it will spin when swung round by its cord, with the result that it produces a most harmonious tone. It got its name when its first purchaser, speaking to a somewhat deaf salesman, said "I'll certainly enjoy showing my friends this, er... how do you say it?" To which the salesman, thinking he had been asked "how do you play it?", replied: "Whirl it, sir."