arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Banter Page
help
If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
arrow_circle_up
I am now, to the utter horror of the rest of the office, enjoying Nigel Ogden's Wurlitzer Christmas.
[UK] you're just like my Dad. He has asked me for, in all seriousness (I think - it was on the phone), The Organist Entertains on CD for christmas. aaaaargh.

[Raak, anyone that'll listen] I really miss London at the moment - things to do that aren't uni, work or pub!
[Rosie] I'm in Norwich, which is as you describe. I have to go to Cambridge or London for proper culture.
[nights] Where are you at the moment?
[Raak] If you've been in Norwich more than a year or two and it still doesn't have any culture, it's probably your own fault. If the people who like a certain thing always go to some other place to get it, they perpetuate the situation in which there's a market for that thing in that other place and none in the place they come from. Therefore, people in Norwich who like a certain kind of culture should never leave it, and they'll thereby coerce the place into being the sort of place they like to be in.

(It also helps if you kill off everyone who actively opposes the sort of thing you like.)

What's
a wurlitzer, Uncle Korky? It sounds amusing.
Wurlitzer
Is it animal, vegetable, mineral, or abstract? Or maybe a high-speed land vehicle?
I believe a Wurlitzer is a specialised piece of plumbing equipment manufactured from pig trotters using a proprietary process in certain secretive factories in the former East Germany. Highly sought after by installers of bidets, the common Wurlitzer can only be purchased if the buyer is recommended to the vendor by at least two other customers and after placing a bond of thirteen Austrian schillings in a specific numbered Swiss bank account.

It became fashionable as a jazz instrument in the Berlin salons of the 1920s, because of its resolutely unmelodious nature in all but the most skilled of hands (just like, say, the double bass) but mostly because it could be eaten in extremity (very much unlike, say, the double bass).

Apple Ogies
We apologies for this sudden outbreak of lying in what is usually a much more truth-inclined space.

Oh well.

Nonsense. Utter tosh! I tell you it's an instrument consisting of a broad, flat cylinder with holes drilled radially into it at regular intervals, affixed to a length of string to its center. It's also cunningly made with vanes set into it so that it will spin when swung round by its cord, with the result that it produces a most harmonious tone. It got its name when its first purchaser, speaking to a somewhat deaf salesman, said "I'll certainly enjoy showing my friends this, er... how do you say it?" To which the salesman, thinking he had been asked "how do you play it?", replied: "Whirl it, sir."
sorry, i'd groan, but...
Aargghh!
Can someone please cuff Dan around the ears.
Edible instruments
(Dunx) A double bass is probably the most edible of all instruments, being almost entirely wood. Saw it up, pulp it and serve it as a slurry with hot milk and demerara sugar, and you have the perfect high-fibre breakfast cereal. In one end and out the other, unchanged, giving the possibility of recycling after suitable purification.
Edible instruments II
[Rosie] I think you'll need to figure out how to strip away the strings during the automated production line of your perfect breakfast cereal. Otherwise people halfway across the world may think it's a brilliant idea.
Well, it's a...
I'm wondering what treats might be on Nigel Ogden's Wurlitzer Christmas. In a Persian Christmas Supermarket? In A Christmas Monastery Garden? Oh, I Do Like To Be Beside The Christmas Seaside?
Is it time to start the 'Bah! Humbug! I hate Christmas!' discussion yet?
it is most certainly time to start the "I hate Christmas" discussion (well apart from the religious meaning, but that's another story). point one - explosion in heart-rending charity adverts. I really don't like them.

[Raak] beautiful Bath still - however it's probably more to do with the fact that I have a rather large amount of work at the moment, and I don't have time for anything other than work, uni or pub. sorry, I think I was in a really crap mood when I posted that one.
humbugs
[penelope] Move here, you'll miss it entirely, but you'll have to put up with the azaan five times a day :-)
(miss Christmas, that was)
Late response to Dan
Look at THIS, it's awesome!
I had too
Sorry, I'm a little excitable today... hehehe...
Not only but also
Oh, and are we going to play Animal/Vegetable/Mineral/Abstract? If s, can we do some sort of colourful variant?
[Tuj] How about Animal/Vegetable/Mineral/Abstract or any combination thereof PLUS the colour[s] of said 'object'. Am I taking you too literally?
Chalky] Pass... I just like the colours a lot and want to reward rab's endeavour by having them used in lots of games. Plus it might spawn some new hybrid game, which is always good!
[Tuj] Have you ever noticed that if you search for pretty much any word in Google image search, there is a Toothpaste for Dinner cartoon which includes it?
ISIHAC
so, what did we all think of the new ISIHAC? I didn't hear it last night, I was on the bus (which crashed into another bus, but that's for a later date when I have more time), but I have four hours of research ahead of me later so I'll pull it up on 'listen again'.
[nights] Pretty good, as always. The new guest, Linda someone-or-other, was fine.
dodgy lines
Between the Lines seems to have come up with some odd colours, if in doubt the altenative web colours are;
< font color= “#800000” > for Bakerloo
< font color= “#FF6347” > for Central
< font color= “#FFFF00” > for Circle
< font color=> “#32CD32” for District
< font color= “#DEB887” for East London
< font color= ” #FF00FF” > for Hammersmith and City
< font color= “#C0C0C0” > for Jubilee
< font color= “#BA55D3” > for Metropolitan
< font color= “#191970” > for Northern
< font color= “#4169E1” > for Piccadily
< font color= “#1E90FF” > for Victoria
< font color= “#B0E0E6” > for Waterloo and City
< font color= “#8DBC8F” > for Docklands Light Railway
< font color= “#6B8E23” > for National Rail

It's all very pretty, dear Inkspot, and forgive my thickitude, but what exactly is the reason/point/aim?
[Chalky] I'm not clear what the Between the Lines game is supposed to be, really, but I'm assuming it's MC where (a) your name colour has to match the stations you play, and (b) to switch lines, you need to use a station which actually lies on an intersection between them. So far, though, I don't think that's the way people have been playing it. Still, that (and my almost inevitable lack of grasp of the whole thing meaning these rules are totally useless) is what happens if you don't explain the rules at the top of the game properly.
Bad lines
The idea came from wishing to use the colourised name whatsit that rab has introduced in a game of MC. Then it came to me to use the colours of the lines from the Tube map. Unfortunately the new game slot stayed open (for what seemed like several days) and so the game idea festered.
While it was gnawing away, I wondered about stations like Canada Water and Sloane Square. Could these be incorporated into the stance? Keeping it as simple as possible, a colour for the player and in the text…. sounded good at the time, this may have been one idea too far.

There you have it a colourised experimental game. If play becomes fraught it will make way for something else. Is there a point? After watching Paul Burrel eat a kangaroo’s testicle … probably not.

Bad lines
*ahem* [cattily]
... passing through
Is it just me or is there an air of despondency in here? I was up and about quite early this am, popped in to have a look and moved swiftly on ...
I couldn't even think of a faux french line 5 for the limerick, diverted as I was by Korky's bream :-) Don't wanna play colours or tag, don't wanna tell lies or furcate, the current regurgitated cheddar is looking tricky, the consonants have lost their way ... oh dear oh dear oh dear. Ah well - at least I'm posting in here :-)
[Chalks] You've put your finger on it for me. Stagnant limericks are usually easy to shift - I just write a crap last line, then start a new one, hoping others will follow with renewed vigour. I really think Lost Consonants has had it - time to say goodbye. The Colours Game is too complicated to work out for the time I have available to post at work, I'm not old enough to Furcate, and we've been too clever by half in the current regurgitation. I'm gonna go in there and play some crap moves to shift this constiptation. Hold tight... !
Poo
Tee hee, "crap moves to shift constipation" - what a lovely image, penelope. Chalky, I quite agree.
[chalky] I see what you mean, but then I like lying. it's good practise for in real life.
ISIHAC
Jack Dee will be the special guest for programmes 5 and 6 of the new series, coming from the Assembly Hall Theatre in Tunbridge Wells (10/1/05 and 17/1/05)
If anyone is going to be in the audience for those two, let me know as we could probably meet up. I couldn't get tickets myself, but I am nonetheless local.
giving a nod to ...
Penelope the Purgative
Rab the Agreeable
Nights the .. er .. seer and deceiver
and anyone else who has posted and brightened up this place :-)
Previous post... I mean was in the audience for.
Deep and calming breaths
Chalky] Time to brighten things up... And I definitely agreed with pen on the consonants I'm afraid. And on the poop analogy...
If you need a new game, just go ahead and make one - could there be a better place (even for just an idea)?.
OK, a touch over the top;
but I bet it got your attention!
Let my ice fingers close over your heart...
...let my drear mornings offer you no hope of sunshine to come. I shall not rest my snows nor my gloomy rains until torpor reigns in the Morniverse and nothing is but glumness, glumness everywhere. Hibernate, run from me, or try to endure me - you cannot prevent me nor the keening grey sorrow of the moods I offer.
[spirit] a popular phrase in my house... "oooo-kaaay..." (say it out loud, slightly like jim carrey *shudder*)

[chalky] thanks... I think. I do my best.
[Tuj] yes it did!

[The Spirit of Winter]
Bring on your frosts of spectre-grey, your frozen leaves and skies of dun! The weakening eye of day can never chill; for friendship doth not turn cold when that warm heart that beats deep within fires the furnace of goodwill. Thus shall this community seek the warmth of its homely hearth whilst the dregs of winter's spirit is humbled ...

[Chalky]OOOoooooOOOOh! Get you!
[spirit, chalky] take it OUTSIDE, both of you!
Furcational Adjournment
Is it time to grant it special status yet? I fancy an imposter's game, or summat...
I am outside.
Err.?
Hello!!!!
Hello to you too
I'm a bit worried. You're not the jasmine to which my wife took her secateurs a couple of days ago are you? If you are I shall have to have a cup of tea a Bex and a good lie down. Oh dear, oh dear . . .
Special (i.e. no) service
[Tuj] The SpecialStatus AddOn Pack (TM) has not yet been enabled, so, erm, no.
a little off topic (no change there, then) but thank God it's Friday. has everyone else had a shocking week or is it just me?
[nights] probably just you

Bah! I enjoyed that poetic exchange and would have happily crossed further swords with the 'spirit', teetering, as we were, on the brink of yet another 'Winter versus Summer Debate'.
So the follow-up disappointed somewhat, whilst bringing to mind Wot Dan Said in MCiOS a couple of weeks back [and I paraphrase] - anonymous posting by regulars is relatively harmless fun ... however, if the post is directed at a named person, perhaps it's fairer not to hide behind the cloak of anonymity?

*throws down gauntlet in the spirit of goodwill* :-)

[nights] it's not just you. blech.
[nights/flerdle] Definitly not just you two. Too.
Bob the dog! Good to see you :-)
[Chalks] Likewise! I've not been as apparent as usual over the last few months, but I am very much still here. New job going well – chickens still pecky – children still boingy.
I back Tuj for a game of impostors!
Do you want your gauntlet back?
Not dead but... dormant
rab] Well, assuming this Add On Pack (AOP) has resurrectional properties, I guess we can temporarily shuffle it below the line and go, with Bob the Dog's backing, for a game of imposters.
[Bob] welcome back!!
[rab] so what happened? I couldn't get in last night or all day today (that's trying via my home connection and up at university)
[everyone] glad it wasn't just me. last week of term, woo!
[nights] *Flattered* But I never left!
[bob] ah but doesn't flattery get me... no wait, get me somewhere... everywhere? sorry, it's rather late and I'm a bit tired and emotional at the moment... hello anyway.
racing frogs
Who wants to race frogs with me? I want a league but need to invite people! Try www.racingfrogs.org.....it's a level of maintenance just under playing Celebdaq. And probably designed for 14-year-olds. But shhh....
Food, food, food!
I think escargot is more my pace.
slurg on a lily pad
[ZK] My frog is in training, do you have a frog in each area.

On the weekend we went out and bought our Christmas tree. After I had put on the lights it was for the boys to hang the decorations on the tree. Francis, likes to let Owen know the benefits of being his big brother, as frequently as possible. Putting baubles on the tree he was able to put his extra height to advantage “…and another one up here, and this one can go near the top over here…”. Being the uneven handed dad I am I helped Owen put a couple at the same height to end that bit of squabbling. Which left Tom the toddler, who with a little bit of help was able to put the fairy on top and with the highest bauble. The finished tree looks wonderful.

I'd already done the racing frogs thing. They started making it more and more biased towards people buying the book and/or paying to enter the VIP room, by eg giving a "pike detector" to all those who'd paid. And it's... well, it's tedious, once the novelty wears off.
minibug
[rab] Might you be able to put a chevron on a tag in the limerick game?
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord