[ZK] If your friends hate you now it must be because they nurse a secret and all-consuming love for you, and cannot stand to see you attached. This can be a problem if it leads them to murder your beau horrifically and attempt to win your love by sending you his heart through the post, but you can turn it to your advantage by cynically playing on their feelings and promising them affection in exchange for obeying your whims. Correctly done, this can result in your having a small army of emotionally warped zombies at your beck and call. Then you're the one who decides who gets horribly murdered.

Rosie] Inamorato, I'd say...
Breadmaster] When's the film version out? Sounds great!

[BM]I've got a friend who does that..

(Tuj) And you'd be right - clever c***. :-)

tempting, tempting...

I think it might be time to emigrate. goodnight everybody!

Does anyone know where I can buy a hatstand?

[Rab] cheap option - junkshop. I bet IKEA do one too...
TITFER - beech veneer bentwood hatstand, with room for three trilbys, or one beret plus a Homburg.
How smart though, to be be wearing so many hats that you actually need a hatstand!.

[Pen] Surely if he was wearing them he wouldn't need the hatstand?

[Rab] By drilling a 3/4" hole in your hardwood floor and gluing a length of broomhadle into it one can fashion a hatstand in minutes.

Buy a moose. That way, you can take a selection of hats with you wherever you go without worrying about them being flattened in a suitcase.