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The Banter Page
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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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breaking the silence
Well... quiet in here, innit?
Yes it is!
I'm hoping to get hot water tonight. The plumber is coming! Headlight also went on car (completing my triplet of disaster) but the very dishy student doctor fixed it for me. Bless!
Gosh, Lib, it's an absolute litany of disaster (I wonder, incidentally, why "litany" always has negative connotations these days - a litany of disaster, a litany of crimes, etc). I have a colleague whose bathroom fell into the flat beneath some time ago and for months she had to come to work early to have a shower there. So it could be worse...
wet and warm
*dances around crescent naked having just got out of shower*. I like hot water!
warm and erm..
Towel?
Gerrof!
I'm enjoying this.
fully clothed today
*waves at the boys*
Spoilsport
*sulks*
Brollies Inc
It's raining! Today is Friday. On Wednesday we had 12mm of rain. Thursday we had about the same and today we've had 25mm or a bit more since this morning (it's about 1420K as I type. Lovely steady rain as opposed to torrential downpours. Ya-friggin'-hoo.
P'raps you could this ) back for me if you'd be so kind. . . Ta.
sunny
with some cloud. but still nice! except I have a cold. bleah.
Boring grey weather. Bring back the rain! It was nice and melancholy the other day. Very atmospheric.
Many different shades of grey type weather with optional wet bits. Lovely.
Weather
(BM) Atmospheric weather, eh? You're getting there. Sorry to jump on you like this. :-)
Boring
Sorry about the hurrah over the weather, but it's been a bit dry here.
I suspect that I may have an ally here in Breadmaster as in my part of the world today is the BIG day as far as a sport called rugby league is concerned. Heaven only knows how many trees have been sacrificed in the lead up to this world event and yet, as if that were not enough, a number of radio stations and at least one television broadcaster are commencing their so-called coverage of this pivotal point of history at noon. The game itself starts at 19 o'clock.
Does this sort of thing happen in the U.K. or the U.S.of A. or, for that matter, Canada?
sports coverage
I remember when I was a child, they used to run incessant football (american) coverage around Christmas and New Year's! I think it was the Rose Bowl - horribly boring.
Bori...zzzzzz
[Dujon] Hard to say, since one would have to experience both to compare. However, I think I'm right in saying that inter-club tournaments can easily be avoided in the UK (in a way that international ones cannot). That is, you can't get away from the football World Cup, but it's easy never to hear anything of the Premiership. I knew nothing of it before working at Sky and was, moreover, compeletely unaware of the existence of similar leagues and suchlike in rugby (or in cricket, come to that). Whereas I don't think I ever saw a newspaper in New Zealand, local or national, that didn't have rugby on the front page.
backstage gossip
(Apologies for cross posting) In case you didn't receive the last email we sent out, we'd like to let you know that there are still 289 tickets left for sale for the recording of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" at the New Theatre in Hull on Saturday 23rd October.
If these tickets have not sold by next Wednesday (6th October) we will advertise them formally.
So, if you'd like to buy tickets for this show, then try to do so by next Wednesday. The ticket prices are £10, £8.50 and £6.50. The show starts at 7.30pm (Doors open 7pm). The box office is open from Monday to Saturday from 10am to 5pm. The box office number is 01482 226655.
Also, in a previous email, we advertised Linda Smith's one-woman show at the Playhouse Theatre in Weston-Super-Mare on Thursday 7th October. Due to illness, Linda has regretfully had to cancel the performance. If you bought tickets, we suggest to telephone the box office on 01934 645544.
Have the Converƒation ƒtoppers ƒinally ƒtopped?
Conversation ftoppers
(Raak) No great loss if it has. Ye kindeft thing you can say about that game was that it didn't show certain people at ye beft.
"Criminal damage, I tell you!"
In the course of my work this morning, I went to inspect an empty Council property, to which we had attached metal screens over the doors and windows for security. As I was about to unlock the screen over the front door, I looked up and saw, scrawled in black permanent marker:

MC
CHALKY
04


Any explanations, Ms Davenport...?
KD was here
Eeek! I've been rumbled.
*rofl*
Two Wheelers
*Cross-Posting Alert*
ATTENTION MOTORBIKE/SCOOTER RIDERS
We, the research consultancy I work for, are looking for new bikers [commuters or enthusiasts] to participate in focus groups around the UK. We have sorted Birmingham, but still have a few vacancies for London Groups [12/13 Oct], Newcastle [19/20 Oct], Bristol [28/29 Oct] and Manchester [2/3 November]. All evenings. Fee of £30 paid for about an hour and a half. If you or any of your mates are interested please email me kedavenport at the hotmail address, but need to warn you that I'm on holiday for a week beginning 11th Oct.
McGreetings
Managed to slap down a holding deposit on a nice flat convenient for my new place of work this morning... At least I think it's nice: certainly seemed very pleasant and spacious as I was walking around it, though I couldn't remember if it has a washing machine (the agent assures me it does). Then again - I couldn't remember if it has a sink either (but I didn't ask the agent that). So, once I've bribed my current landlord into writing me a good reference, I should be sorted. Moving up at the end of the month.. oh what fun (not).
Bikers
(Chalky) Do I take it that you are no longer engaged in elegant scribal activity?
Geordie joke
I saw this in the letters page of the Grauniad a few days ago. A woman walks into a hairdresser's in Ashington, Northumberland, and says, "I'd like a perm". The hairdresser replies, "Ah wandered luuurnly as a cloud. That's Wordsworth, y'knaa".
C V
[Rosie] Indeed I am - still calligraphing and chalk-scribing and the occasional line drawing. However, I now do lots of freelance work for a research consultancy so find myself embroiled in activity mainly connected with Exhibitions & Shows. September was Computer Games, then the Printing Industry, plus a bit of Royal Agricultural Society work. This month is Motorcycles & Scooters, then Paris [holiday] and then ... Recycling Waste Management. I can hardly wait.
C V
[Chalky] You had dealings with the RASE? You poor bugger.
Unusual tenants
[Rab]'Has it got a sink?' would be a fairly normal question in my experience as a landlady - my new tenants have just written to ask me what the rules are on hanging picture frames and pets in the house. They seemed like such a lovely couple, but the latter request is really against my principles and sounds as though it could get messy.
rab's whereabouts
[rab] good news about the gaff. Are you still in Embra or have you returned to Mancland?
pets
At least they're asking - unless it's because their cat has just had kittens and they want to keep them all.. ;)
[Ella] I'd get the RSPCA onto them if they're hanging pets on the walls.
geordie hairdresser, continued.
.....so the woman says "You don't understand, I want my hair curled." So the hairdressed puts her head in his fridge.

A scottish man walks into a baker's shop and asks "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" The baker replies: "Naw, yer right enough, it's a doughnut".

Animal Cruelty
[Dunx] That was my concern! Obviously I need to learn how to express myself more clearly through the medium of the written word or alternatively improve my sense of humour!
[Ella] ... or I need to read posts properly before I write. I hadn't woken up yet and just didn't notice your very well-expressed joke.
Sleepyhead
I'm back in Manc now, having caught up with my new (and, yet, somehow, old) colleagues last night at the annual poster session (which essentially is a front for a booze-up). [Ella] I'll check about the sink - welcome by the way.
Thank you
[Dunx] I can sympathise! It usually takes me a good few hours before I remember who I am in the morning let alone how to read and write. [Rab] Thank you for this fantastic site. I happened on it whilst searching the web for bedroom furniture (?!) and as you may tell, am now completely hooked. I do feel as though I've gate crashed a party full of old friends though - hope you don't mind!
welcome!
[Ella]My apologies for being thick about your post.. and I'm not that old!
*waving*
Hello Ella, welcome! Hope soon you'll feel part of the party!
Mornings
(Ella) I know what you mean about mornings. Being retired, I have decided to do away with them entirely, but it only postpones the befuddlement. Welcome to the asylum, which is of course run by the inmates. BTW I'm a bloke.
bedroom furniture???
[Ella] Welcome.
[Ella] All old friends were once new friends. Welcome. BTW I'm a spiny anteater from New Guinea.
[Ella] Welcome and .... oops! quick got to go line manager on the loose.
Welcome Ella
Searching for bedroom furniture . . . it makes a change from "Jade Goody Nude".
Hello Ella
No, if she'd wanted Jade Goody Nude she'd have ended up at MC in Outer Space. MC5 is a decent site with none of that filth, despite our best efforts. (Note for the uninitiated: a look at the "Google hits" info on the MCIOS screen reveals a distressing number of people who not only search for Ms Goody as God made her but thereby find their way onto the MCIOS page. No-one knows why.)
Jade Goody Nude
Yes, I don't know why Dan doesn't just rename the site.
jade goody nude
Breadmaster] Imagine my surprise when I did a google search on "jade goody nude" and searched through for MCiOS, and LO AND BEHOLD, I found that IT WAS YOU that was linked to.......
kafkaesque zebrafish
thanks to all of you for making me spend teh last 30 minutes trying to find a GOOGLEWHACK. But hey - I suceeded !. Never again.
Whacky
[st d] You recall this of course?
[Ella] Will you be frequenting the other MC sites too?
[St D] Splendid! I knew my crusade (consisting solely of repeating the phrase JADE GOODY NUDE as much as possible) would bear fruit...
[Bm] Do you do it in real life too, then?
[All] Thank you for a very warm welcome! [Darren] I've just spent some considerable time following the links to some of the other sites. Consequently, I've cancelled all appointments I had made with the outside world for the next year in order to give myself at least a slight chance of keeping up with all of the MC banter and games available. Who needs a family/job/friends anyway?
*ding dong* Paging Chalky
[Chalky] Did you get the mail I sent you (to both addresses) last night?
*ping*
[rab] YES! *OOPS - TURNS OFf caps lock*
Was 'called out on business' straight from the office which is euphemistically known as 'went to the pub', then crashed [out, not into]. Thanks. Good stuff - am following it up as I type - hence the caps lock. I'm gibbering now. My brain is full up.
[Darren] Naturally. This is one reason why, like Ella, I have no family/job/friends either.
[rab] No birthday cake this year? Oh well, have a good one anyway.
Cake
[Lib] I'm saving myself up for a big plate of curry tonight...
currying favour
[rab] many happy repeats!
Is it just me or is there a bowl of soup on the front page?
Only joshing
I think it's a Rogan Josh.
Double take
BtD] You know, I thought it was just me...
Well, if you want to drink soup from a metal dish, I guess it's a free country. *is waiting for the girls to get ready, and wondering if we'll make it to the pub on time...*
mmmmm...
curry!
[rab] Happy bday and enjoy your curry!

I had a very nice curry on Friday night, although that was mainyl to avoid cooking after a grisly day.

Opens doors and activates fan
Through the eye of a needle...
I had a korma on Friday night, and spent most of the next 24 hours on the pan with minor food poisoning... Hope yours was better, rab!
Handily
It was a very lovely Lamb Handi, thanks, preceded by some lovely veggie samosas and accompanied by a couple of drinks.
currylicious
Make your own curries and then you don't have to worry about food poisoning! I made one tonight with onion, garlic, LOADS of butter, garam masala, chili powder, chick peas, potato and a bunch of fresh baby spinach leaves. Damn fine.
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