arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Banter Page
help
If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
arrow_circle_up
Mark Richardson's unique attire
[Tuj] Looks like a mid-70s speed-skating suit.
And all in that lovely colour scheme. Excellent!
"I like speed and I like the thrill of it."
-- George Bush the Elder, 41th President of the United States, after skydiving on his 80th birthday
the timezone change never ceases to amaze me, it is still tonight where i am but for you guys it is already tomorow morning. where can i pick up a copy of the rule book? is it legal to play the biscut game if i have never had a true cup of tea(just that american stuff)?
cookies
[Snagandorf] Play away old thing! But just remember you won't be able to dunk.
i did once buy fifty packets of earl grey for a dollar, i put one directly in my mouth and sucked on it for half an hour, does this count as tea or did i stain my teeth for nothing? it may take an extra turn but i can still envoke the mighty coffie dunk of java. i just turned twenty one, i have only began to confront those wh call me kid, i refuse to be called old thing!
I'm not 19 till August and I love being called old thing! :) Makes one feel silly (in the dash good way), what.
Felicitous ageism
A common facetious greeting in the pub among men of my age (61) is "Good evening, young man". More, I say, more.
hahahaha(cough)
[Rosie]Nights out with you must be a scream! ;)
I remember reading in Hardy's Far From the Madding Crowd that Gabriel Oak was (quote from memory warning) "of that age when people begin to stop prefixing 'man' with 'young'" - and he's then revealed to be 29. Ever since, I have thought of 29 as the age when one stops being young. That means I have nine months of youth left.
Auld
[BM] People will still call you "young man" but they'll do it to humour you.
Senility
(Boolbar) You're right; that's why we oldies do it, to take the piss out of each other.
Age
For some reason, I think of 50 as the boundary. I can see it in the distance, like a barricade across the road, rapidly getting closer.
young man is fine,but i work as a cart pusher at walmart(a job usualy reserved for those under age 18), and i get called "hey kid". when i tell my coworkers how old i am they are supprised(apparently i look quite young for my age).
has anyone tried to play chess by mornington crescent rules?
that way madness lies
[Snagandorf]Yes, and you can still hear their pitiful screams on dark winter nights..
Ageing
(All) The one difference you will all notice is that between the ages of 50 and 55 (or thereabouts) you will lose the ability to change the focus of your eyes. Regarding your eye as a camera, you could say that the lens is still quite clear and forms sharp images, the film is more-or-less as good as it was, but the focussing mechanism will seize up and there is nothing whatsoever you can do about it except get reading glasses.
presbyopia is da word for it
[Rosie] You're lucky if you noticed it that late... most people do in their 40s, though it depends on what they do, and how long their arms are :-)
roasting
It's at least 43°C, dusty outside and dry as a bone... I think I'm starting to look forward to my holiday...
Presbyopic adaptation
(flerdle) My knuckles graze the floor. This of course is why I play the trombone. Where are you, for it to be 43°C? Not Oz, at this time of the year, surely? A pleasant 18°C here. Sun in and out. Light breeze. Very British.
ook
Oman.
*sighs*
Moved out of my first-year flat today. That means I'm not a Fresher any more....time to start intimidating smaller people. At last! My time has come!
Fresh faces
I thought one was only a Fresher for about the first two weeks of first year... But I must say, I think Freshers' Week is wasted on the Freshers - much better in subsequent years.
age
You're old if you're old compared to your friends, and young if not, I think. (My friends range from 11 to 60+, and I'm nearly 29, so I get to feel young and old - and I spend my time either enviously wishing I was older in terms of experience and knowledge or younger in body).
[ZK] Make the most of it. Before you know it you'll be a miserable embittered Finalist, and then that's it. However, if you survive as a Finalist, you may have the option to become a Postgrad, which is best of all because you have less pressure, less work, more spare time and a real superiority complex. That's my experience anyway...
Wisdom
[Projoy] Having recently discussed with three of my closest mates (all of us are 40ish to 50ish) what we would do differently if we had our time over again, the answer was unanimous, unambiguous and immediate : shag more girls while we had the chance - by being (a) bolder, (b) unconcerned about rejection and (c) less fussy. (Substitute as necessary for your gender and sexual orientation) - That's the best advice our collective 200-odd years can come up with.
small comfort
[Blob] Would you and your friends please broadcast that at every opportunity? Especially the bit about being less fussy? Many thanks.
shy
[Blob] Not being bold, concerned about rejection and being fussy. I remember my 20s well. Can't say much will have changed since though.
[pen] Unfortunately the word was girls, not women...
Freakout
As someone who's never ever ever been a hit with the ladies, there's probably no one on this planet less fussy than me. However, if anyone here breathes the words, "beggars can't be choosers," they'll get a slap for preaching to the choir. Sadly. 'Tis a lonely life I lead.
[JLE] I would hazard a guess that Blob's advice also applies to those over 30 who haven't got lucky yet. Besides... there's nothing wrong with a younger man.
Freakout
You should tell that to the ladies I've had a liking for on occasion, penelope. Speaking for myself, I've been quite keen on ladies a couple of years older than myself, but tended to be rebuffed because I was too young, and they were without exception always partial to older men.
Well, I'm still trying to find someone, but I've come to the conclusion I'm going about this all wrong. It's so much easier for fish. So, from now on, I'll only date women who live underwater.
... much later
I must have done something right for a change. Yesterday I received payment for some work I have been undertaking for the last few months. No, not a lot of money, but enough to splurge on a meal out for my ever forgiving wife (and save me doing the washing up!) So we headed down to the local club and spent a few moments moaning and groaning over the extortionate prices being levied for the meals and eventually plumped for the special of the day - meaning, of course, the cheapest. On joining the queue for service and having finally managed to get within a couple of yards of the ordering station my good wife (bless her little cotton socks) noticed a sign twirling in the airconditioner's breeze. It proclaimed 'Two for the Price of One', or similar. Needless to say we had a rather rapid conflab and finished up with a wonderful chicken dish (her) and a rather good rump steak (me) both with all the trimmings. So an hour or so later we had eaten, drunk (she a lemon squash, me a schooner - that's 15 fl oz - of lager) and returned home sated. The moral, of course, is get yourself a wife/husband and, who knows, in thirty three years time you too may experience such fortune.
[Dujon] If it's late by the time I get home from work then it is always a pleasure to find that between my pockets and my wife's purse we can scrape enough pound coins together to raid the local chippy. [age and fancies] I've always found the most attractive women are around the same age as me, so in thirty years time I'll be gazing whistfully at OAPs.
. . . Oh, and I might have learnt to spell by then. Have a free 'h' on me!
musings
[Duj & Bool] 'Tis remarkable that food - whether it be the eating of, the cooking of, the shopping together for, or the spontaneous 'grab a takeaway because we can't be arsed to cook' type, just has to be one of the most joyously satisfactory elements of being in a meaningful relationship.
As for age differences ... my late husband was a couple of years older than me; my erstwhile partner was 18 years older ; my current partner is 8 years younger. No discernible pattern. Apart from the fact that they were/are all Librans and of Celtic persuasion.
[Blob] wisdom - so it's true what they say then? We only ever regret the things that we DON'T do. Hmm ... glad I got stuck in then ... :-)
mused
BTW my little pearl of wisdom above was mostly a wistful glance back to our youth. I'm happily married and two out of the other three in the aforementioned quartet are in long-term relationships. So the advice is really directed at the Young1 Free2 & Single3 amongst you.

1 Young at heart.
2 Or any price really.
3 Or as your conscience allows !

bold advice
Thank you Blob for that pearl of wisdom. I shall bow to my elders and betters on this occasion and head to Battersea tonight to watch Germany Vs Czech with my colleague Miguel from Portugal, who has revealed to me that his strategy for watching EURO 2004 matches is find a punb where there will be as many of the nationality actually playing. So tonight I am hoping for lots of German or Czech girls. I don't seem to have had much luck recently, and this I put down to a couple of factors
a. I seem to predominatly go out to the pub next to work, so hang out with work colleagues, many of whom are female, which lessens the chances of being in a position to chat someone up/be chatted up.
b. weekends I have been going home to see my mum (and until recently, dad). Again....
c. Most of my friends seem to be either married or in relationships or FREEZE up around girls.
d. No-one seems to help out really. By this I mean that if I have a single male friend and a single female friend that meet I will stir it a bit to see if anything happens - sometimes it does. No-one seems to do this back.
e. I am fat, ugly, loud, irritating and have lousy personal hygiene.
Lonely bleedin' hearts
Oh dear - there DO seem to be far too many singletons in the Morniverse ... *dons cupid wings*
Bah, humbug!
Consolations of the single life:
  • The TV remote is where you put it.
  • If you have not finished the marmalade, there is still some marmalade left.
  • You go to films because you want to see them.
  • If you burn a meal, you just get a takeaway instead.
Toast
[Raak] Point 4 works for couples as well, unless the words "Can you just keep an eye on . . ." were uttered prior to the burning.
marmalade
[Raak] And Point 3 applies only as a benefit if the marmalade is still in good condition. If it is old and clinging to the sides of the jar as only the last desperate dregs of marmalade can, and you are reluictant to buy fresh, new marmalade until the old one is finished, then having someone finish the marmalade for you is a good excuse to go out and buy a new one. Does anyone want to come over and finish off my marmalade?
[pen] You only go and see films when your marmalade is in good condition?

Oh, I'm back from a wee break in Wales, btw, off to Cornwall on Friday...

[pen] Ah, what a romantic come-on...
Freakout
I second that. A woman who invites you round for marmalade is clearly far more kinky than a woman who invites you round for coffee. I never get invited round for any marmalade. Either nobody finds me appealing, or I've never met a woman with a toaster. Either way, it's a crap life really, and I feel certain that I shall spent it lonely, unloved, and cursed with a rumbling stomach.

In addition I personally don't believe any of this twaddle about advantages to being single. If there were any, people wouldn't go on the pull and get paired off. There are of course advantages to not sticking your head in a blender, which is why very few people go and try the alternative, but not having a partner/spouse? I find it impossible to believe there are advantages to such a cursed life...with one notable exception. As a single man with no woman in my life, I can proudly say that NO ONE within the four walls of my flat has ever uttered the words "Leonardo" and "Di Caprio" in the same sentence. It is for this reason that I can also proudly say that within the four walls of my flat No ONE has ever been murdered and had her body dumped the rubbish tip less than a mile from these premises. How many married men can say that? Not many.
cat burglar
***breaks into Thrax's flat.***

Have you seen any of Leonardo DiCaprio's films? He's fugly, but I still intend to get Total Eclipse just to see him shagging David Thewlis as Rimbaud.

Thew listen
[snorg] Bit dangerous ! He'll turn into a werewolf !
oops
just realised I posted to MCiOS a follow up to a conversation goi g on in here. Very confusing.
Freakout
The three of you are clearly bonkers.

St d, any chance of a "copy-and-past" so we may learn of your wisdom here?

snorgs, help yerself on the breaking in front, I'm always welcome of a bit o' company, especially the feline variety. I used to have a cat named Dudley. He could talk you know... but he got run over. I miss him greatly.

Blob, heh, not so much a werewolf, but at university my friends often said I reminded tham of Dracula. To this day I refuse to allow garlic in my presence.
Horriday
I'm off on holiday again tomorrow. Whee.
oooh... I have to wait two weeks. Hmph.
leaving
Joining in the holiday rush. I have the day off tomorrow to go to the Goodwood Festival of Speed. The two hour journey has put me off before, but with free tickets from the Sunday Times, I'm looking forward to it like a big kid.
Goodiewoodie
I'll be there on Saturday, free tickets courtesy of work. My digital camera will be on official duties, but I won't. :o)
digital camera
Cany anyone suggest a decent digital camera for about £100 - £130? My eye has been caught by the DV5000 as a fun gadget. Any opinions?
Football
Bollocks. And that's all I have to say on the subject. Unless
a) my opinion is required or
b) my opinion is not required, but I get fed up with moaning to the rest of my friends and give it anyway.

So, age. Interesting thing. I don't always see it as a barrier, but I don't think I have a pattern...obviously when I was twelve I loved 26-year-olds because they were better looking than twelve-year-olds and had less scary voices and fewer spots. I have been known to have a penchant for an older man since but currently the objects of my affection range from 4 years younger to 28 years older (can you say worrying? Unless you're Jonathan Ross or Catherine Zeta-Jones, I imagine you can) so I reckon age doesn't enter into it. Of course this all means nothing, as I'm not part of a couple either, although because of that I can watch Euro 2004 in the comfort of my own home as opposed to in the pub (and I can bring my own snacks. Hooray! :) )
Did any of that make sense to anyone else? If not, ignore it, and normal service will be resumed shortly.
DV5000
[snorgle] I started thinking "wow!", but on reading the spec, it's a 3.1MP stills camera (I don't know where they get 4.1MP from when the spec further down says 3.1) plus a crap videocam, in the same size package as my 3.2MP stills camera plus crap videocam (a Sony Cybershot DSC-P32). Mine was just under £200 a bit more than a year ago, so £130 for the same spec now is probably about right. The only difference is that mine's built to look like a camera, which it is, and the DV5000 is built to look like a videocam, which it isn't. A real videocam would have a video output socket and give at least television quality images. The spec mentions an AV cable, but only talks of recording video to the memory card, not streaming it out to a computer or DV recorder.
football
ZK] I would like to read your opinion. What a great match though. Fantastic stuff......Also I reckon I fit nicely into your -4 to +28 group, somewheer in the middle, and have reverted to my imagining of you as a stunningly attractive girl. Ain't life grand ?
I am currently discovering that another advantage of being single is that holidays cost half as much. If, by contrast, your other half is in teaching and you are therefore able to go away only in August, they cost about 500 times as much.

Regular readers of my posts, and surely there can't be many, will be astounded to learn that last night, because there was nothing better to watch, I actually turned the football on whilst having dinner and quite enjoyed it. This may be because working in news means I am familiar with the names of almost all the players in at least one of the teams playing in that match. Plus, of course, one of them has the same psychiatric disorder as me, so I approve of him. Still, as I watched, I found a strange desire coming over me to drink large amounts of alcohol, sit with my legs very wide apart, look at pictures of young ladies without much on and perform noxious evacuations in the company of others with an expression of pride. Testosterone - too much testorerone!
Breadmaster
*cue eerie lighting effect and modulated voice*
Ahhhh... he's one of us, now...
Psychiatric Problem
BM] Are you too afflicted by Canttakeapenaltytosavemylifeitis? Re holidays though, have you not been confronted with the "single supplement" yet then ? Also you are factoring in teh idea that you have to pay for two peopl, rather than having two people pay for it....
x4
Holidays ! Wait till you have kids ! Forced to go during School Holidays (they even bump up the prices for Half Term, the bastards) - me, wifey, two kids = 4 flights. Plus the small people want a constant supply of things. And you have to go to family-friendly restaurants (o.k. this is getting better as they get older). So yes, don't complain about your "single supplement" make the most of it while you're single - or find a friend to go with you.
singlesuppleness
Ah, the single supplement thing... blind fury at being charged around 30 per cent extra for having the audacity to not be part of a couple is what forced me to try National Trust working holidays, which was one of the best decisions I ever made. Luckily I have a flatmate prepared to travel with me now, but when everyone is already coupled up and with an allergy to 'organised tours', I was left without a lot of options. So I holidayed, but I didn't travel much, which I still regret.
Hmm, not to sure how my holidays compare to other peoples. I tend to just hope work will send me to somewhere nice, and I try to blag some extra days on account of crippling jet lag, severe cramp, dehydration, headaches, and mental stress from the fact I'm terrified of flying.
holidays
All of the above
Just call me Ms T-shirt
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord