[brownsover hall] IIRC, the route between the stables bedrooms and the rear of the hotel was paved and reasonably level - the outside tables were sitting on gravel, but that was only a short stretch. There was also a paved route from near the front door steps around to the rear door which is wheelchair accessible, I'm pretty sure. As UK said, I'm sure there's a way, and plenty of assistance if needed.

Well, Penelope, UK, Boolbar et al, that actually sounds reasonable. Essentially any ground floor accommodation would be suitable, and it's only for a weekend(?), so I'm sure it shouldn't be difficult. At risk of asking for too much, I could do with a wee smidgen of assistance during the stay if anyone is willing to volunteer a hand - perhaps a workload shared between two or three? When I say "workload" incidently, I'm referring to little more than pushing me across that gravel, cutting up some of whatever meals we order and helping to slip on/remove socks and shoes. Are their any kind souls here who might be willing to chip in a bit? I'd be most grateful.

Oh, and st d, falling asleep drunk in my wheelchair is - ahem - not unprecedented.

Jonathan, They mistake you for Mrs Ellis, eh? Interesting, but when you get your regular correspondence from Mrs Trellis of North Wales(as we all do of course), for whom does she mistake you? She addresses me as "Ms. Fernandez" - the wheelchair user who was in Eldorado and The Office.

ZK - hearstoppingly beautiful, eh? Raaaowwwr. Stop it with your wicked alluring imagery or I think I'll start to experience 'Charlotte Greene' syndrome. Rosie and I both fancied her for years with no idea what she looked like. Ha!

And last but not least, Hey, there, Chalky. I've really missed you a great deal. I do hope you're well. I didn't forget you BTW. You got a personalised greeting in my opening post, but I think it may have slipped orf the page by the time you got here t'other day. How are you, anyway? Long time no hear.

And with that, I shall depart for the moment, and no doubt be back shortly. Addidas!

*Sneaks out of page singing "Voodoo Lady" By Creme Brullée*

[Thrax] Willing to offer any of that kind of help, if I'm there, which I'm fully expecting to be.

That's very kind of you folks. Perhaps a little nearer the time, we'll chat a wee bit about things just for clarity. You can email me at anthraxhirl@freakout.freeserve.co.uk Indeed I'm happy for anyone here to email me for badinage as you see fit, upon whatever subject you like. Except "Reality TV". *Shudder*

Now that my intrigue as to the extent of ZK's beauty has been satisfied (does one satisfy an intrigue ? in fact is that even th eright word ? mmm. Anyway. Now I am intrigued as to exactly why mr Thrax is in a wheelchair, and also why he needs someone to cut up everybody's meals. Is that just a personal OCD you have ?

LOL! Yes, st d, I have a very rare medical condition that means I can't stand the sight of everybody's meals not cut up before we all dine together. Ha. It's a rare psychological disorder, but I can't cope with anyone tucking in before everybody's orders have been not merely brought to table, but properly disected and divided up into segregated components(sometimes even quantified and noted down on a clipboard for archiving). I got so frustrated by this once, that I endeavoured to take matters in hand one evening at a dinner party, and lunged towards a butler, with a knife and fork, as he emerged from the kitchen with two plates of Duck A L'Orange. Thinking himself in great danger, the man dropped the two dishes, pulled a gun and shot me in the abdomen. Ever since, I've been confined to a wheelchair and someone has to "cut up everybody's meals", as you acutely observed, on my behalf.

I trust I've satisfied your intrigue on that matter too. *winks