Hmmm, I seem to recall one of the Pants regulars was a copper. Thought it was you, Sir, but must've got me wires crossed. Perhaps it wasn't you who regailed us all with the "Digestion story" then either. Doh! Hey ho. So, a promotion, eh? Onward and upward. Sounds grand. Congratulations.

I was intrigued by your opening post, when you mentioned reading through the Ballykissangels game from Pants. Do you have some kind of arcane and eldritch way of accessing this sadly deceased site, or did you copy loads of text off the web?

Alas no, Korky, my friend. I saved the page out as an HTML file long ago before Pants MC closed down. Kept it for old times' sake. Had I known in advance that the site would expire, I'd have saved out many more, as some contained real gems of hilarity from many many fine MCers. Alas. A moment's silence is called for i think.

Io Thrax.

[Thrax] Quality lying, sir.

I'm female, Thrax - and reasonably well (if intensely bored at my job - AGAIN!) I SO need to get a job which isn't always on the phones..

Howdy, Doc. Pleasure to see you again, my good Sir. Life treating you well? Been enjoying the current season of ISIHaC via the net? I'm often given to wonder what your chums in Pennsylvania make of it if ever they happen to be present and hear it when you're tuned into the show. I bet they'd think we're all lunatics on this side of The Pond, what?

And greetings, Dunx. How'd you do? "Quality lying" though? Not sure I follow you. I don't believe I've told any whoppers here today, or are you referring to my moves in the "Swear to God" game?

And Snorgle, a lady, eh? *Doffs hat in gentlemanly fashion as redolent of some Oscar Wilde drama for no obvious reason other than it seems in-keeping with my character* Delighted to make your aquaintance. I recall we always had a severe shortage of female company chez-Pants. Chalky of course remained until the biter end, and your name rings a bell, but ladies were, it must be said, not merely few and far between, but also most sorely missed. Still, count yourself lucky that you never fell under the lascivious(sp? no idea), roving eye of that chimeric lothario Kezar. A fortunate escape for you there. *Ahem* Anyway, I'm sorry to learn that your job is most unsatisfactory. *Sigh* They do say work is a rotten way to earn a living, do they not?

Hi Thrax, it has been a long time!!!!

Why, Darren, 'tis good to see you too, Sir. How are you, me old China?

[Thrax] You divine my intent correctly, sir. Apologies for any misapprehension; entirely my own fault for being insufficiently clear in my sincere wish to convey my compliments. I am very well, thank you for asking, although rather fatigued from a foolishly early start and a surfeit of exercise these last two days. But such is the burden of the long distance runner, or at any rate one who aspires to such a qualification.

Oh, and work's a bugger at the mo, but that is an entirely separate conversation to have away from these hallowed halls.

Ah, that's all well. No apology necessary, Sir. I took no offence. So, a long-distance runner eh? Sounds exhausting but rewarding. Groovy.

I have made a few converts...one of which has taken to MC like a duck to Nick Knight. ;)
[Dunx] You've given up the bike?

Hm. I seem to recall that the PantsMC regular who was a policeman was the person who went by the name of "Corkington" AFAIK.

[Dr Q] No, but not cycling as much right now since I am in training for a marathon in the autumn (Portland, OR on the first Sunday in October - Portland, ME iss the same day as it happens). This is the same race I was training for last year but had to abandon due to injury.

The more I run the more convinced I become that I will return to cycling, but I feel vastly better than I did three months ago and I am sure that I'll get more out of whatever exercise I continue with as a consequence.

Hello, Thrax, old bean! It's nice to see that you haven't totally forgotten how to access the weird and whacky world of the Morniverse.

I'm going to have to start believing in telepathy, which to hard-nosed rationalist like myself would be a Damascene conversion, because about 24 hrs ago, before any of this appeared, I said to myself "I wonder if old (young) Thrax is OK?", and here he is, FFS. Neither Kezar or those FUCKING LOBSTERS have done for you, then, mate? Excellent. No more to say, really.

[Thrax] I'm doing OK, thanks. It's a pity you missed the uberpilg in Rugby.

[Thrax] Not a problem, rather something to amuse me after my brief absence, although similar mistakes have been made before :)

ZK] only online I hope ?

That's great news, Doc. Does this converted duck perchance have internet access? Might he/she at some point brave the hallowed turf of this most jolly arena?

Ah! yes, once again, Jonathan, you've come up trumps with the info. I seem to recollect that Corkington was here and there occasioned the familiar soubriquet of "Corkers" - I think Chalky was initially responsible for that one - and perhaps therein lay the genesis of my little misinference. How are you, anyway?

And hello to you, Duj, my friend - or do they really use the term "cobber" down under? - I trust you are well? 'Tis indeed a glorious feeling to be back among the Morniverse, as you refreshingly term it.

Heh, you know, Rosie there are those who subscribe to the scientific principle that the human mind does generate enough brainwave energy to transmit like a radio broadcast at times, and that telepathy is indeed possible. I'm uncertain as to whether or not it can emit across the divide between Swindon and, er, Surrey wasn't it? I'm Surrey I Haven't a Clue. In any case, I tried discussing this with the FUCKING LOBSTERS, but found them to be most unco-operative. Difficult to establish telepathic communication with a creature that bears a thick exoskeleton and seems forever intent upon shooting up yer arsehole every time your back's turned. *Shudder*

I'm glad to hear you're well, Darren, my friend. Alas I knew nothing of any "uberpilg". Sounds either charmingly continental and noble, or wickedly decadent and filthy. Either way, I'm most aggreived to have missed it.

And thank you, ZK, for your most willful clemency upon my faux-pas. I am relieved. *Bows*

Thrax] Well, a large number of us all buggered off to a swish hotel in Rugby to record our own ISIHAC, and a fine time was had by all. Details are on Orange's To Be A Pilgrim game, and Merlyn has actually created a fine website with transcript and photo's. We're planning to do another one in May next year, so keep your diary clear.

Huuuhh?! Oh I wish I'd known. I'd love to have attended and met up with you guys! I'd give anything to be able to get outside these four walls and meet people. It gets so lonely being stuck in here 24/7 on my own for months on end. Tell me, Korky, this place you speak of - do they have facilities for disabled people? If so I'd give anything to meet with you all next May. Anything!

Depends on the disability, I guess. If you're talking imparied mobility/wheelchair access then I didn't notice any bedrooms downstairs (except in the outbuildings) or lift within the main building, but perhaps others can recall better. I guess a quick phonecall to Brownsover Hall about the issue wouldn't hurt.

And, nice as it was, if Brownsover weren't accessible, I'm sure we'd all be happy to look at alternatives.

Well, Projoy, I am indeed a user of a wheelchair, and thus a ground floor room or lift would be necessary(I live on the first floor as it happens), otherwise it's a "Fireman's Lift" situation. Regrettably there's more obstacle to be overcome though. Rugby's a fair distance from where I live, in Swindon, and I can neither drive nor load/unload the chair myself. Furthermore, all my family and friends live more than 2 hours from my abode, and I very much doubt any one of them(since they're not MCers themselves) would be willing to drive for two hours to pick me up, drop me off, make their way off home again, then come back two days later(would I be correct to infer that this is a weekend break?) and drive me back frm Rugby to Swindon then go home again.

See, there's no way I can use a train either. Not without a friend to accompany me.

I'm not really sure how it could be done, unless one of you fine fellows lives in the West Country and would be willing to give me a lift from Swindon.

OK. Not being a driver, I'm afraid I couldn't help on the lifts thing, but conceivably this could influence our choice of location. There might be places that Swindon is on the way to that are just as nice as Brownsover. Here's a list of wheelchair accessible hotels in the UK. Anyway, not for me to decide on behalf of the participants, of course, but maybe worth a bit of research.

[st d] Er...well, that mistake hasn't been made since I was about eleven or so, face to face. I was not happy, as you would probably gather, and have cultivated somewhat of an obsession with the colour pink ever since....

Morning all! [Thrax] It's nice to see you back. I must admit having only caught some of your antics during my brief tenure on Pants but it's good to see people return from beyond the Reality Point.

[Bob the dog] Thank you very much for the bottle of cider you bought me - I shall be enjoying it this evening with dinner!

Thrax] would it be okay to just get you really really drunk so you could just fall asleep in your wheelchair ?
ZK] I am truly intrigued now. How come this mistake was never made before you were 11 ?

Didn't she say it was only until she was 11? Personally I was always mistaken for a girl and my sister was generally thought to be a boy. That pretty much sums up the power politics in my family.

BM] of course. I was thinking that was a bit strange. I remember people saying "what a beautiful little girl" when I was 4 or 5 and being really pissed off by it. Darn pink tutu my Mother used to make me wear.....oh well, I'm still intrigued but instead am now imagining ZooKeeper to be heartstoppingly beautiful.

My three brothers were all very blond and pretty when ickle. We're all fairly close in age and relatives/friends would cast their eye over the boys exclaiming how bonny they were and save the piteous glances for me [the brown-haired freckly girl]. It was at that stage that I decided I needed to develop a personality.
oh yes ... [Thrax] good to see you in here :-)

The last time I was mistaken for a girl was at the age of 23, but it was from behind and my hair was half-way down my back. The only other time I guess the lipstick and frock had something to do with it . . . .

When I was a little chap - up to the age of 7 or 8, I was often mistaken for a girl, much to my fury at the time. If you saw me now you'd realise why the same mistake has not been made for quite a while. Even in drag I think I would be about as convincing as the late great Les Dawson - or for that matter Roy Barraclough.