arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
The Banter Page
help
If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
arrow_circle_up
knockout!
[Snorgle] Excellent. I think it's a combination of the steam clearing your tubes immediately before bed, the vitamin C and cleansing action of the lemon om your throat, the soothing of the honey (and it has healing qualities too), the topping up of fluid intake for the night, and of course the immediate knock-out effect of the brandy or whisky which sends you to sleep before you know it. I once gave this to a flatmate who was distressed because she was so uncomfortable with a cough and a cold... she hated the idea but I bullied her into drinking it and within five minutes I heard snoring coming from her room. :o)
Grüsse aus Dresden
Hello from Dresden. I came prepared for vast expanses of brutalist architecture and am pleasantly surprised to find large open spaces, old buildings (the opera house is particularly fine), not to mention fabby restaurants and bars. German cities have a tendancy to be a bit thin-on-the-ground nightlife-wise, but not this one. The conference is going well, although I don't think I'm whoring myself around as much as I should be given that my contract runs out next year. Oh well... [Blob] Re crosswords - I think there's still demand. Once we're back up to full numbers I'm sure things will continue again. And, to be fair, you weren't frozen out, you just lost the URL. Which is not the same thing at all. [Colds] Hmmm... feeling a little funny today in the head and throat department but I am not getting a cold. Oh no.
avant-garde viruses (or is it virii?)
Viruses are stupid. Ok, so they barely register as life forms, but if they did useful or interesting things, then maybe our bodies wouldn't go into overdrive to eject them. They could, for instance, turn our fingernails red, (without pain or swelling) or make our hair go an interesting shade of turquoise, and everything would be fine! But oh no, they have to and reproduce by making us miserable. I say we should ban them until they get their act together!
snooooooooooooooooooooooze..
I'm back in work, as I was able to sleep last night. I don't know if it was the brandy, honey and lemon, or just that the cold is getting better anyway, but I'm happy. I can't function on 3 hours sleep. I probably would have taken today off too, but I'm supposed to be covering for my manager tomorrow, and I needed to get up to speed. At least it's quiet this morning.
at home today and feeling a bit chatty
[penelope] So. This NT assistant project leader thingummy. Would that be full-time? Like a proper job? Would you have to resign from your shiny new PR job? Like a *BIG* decision?
[snorgle] I've got a sniffle-in-the-nose and a tickle-in-the-throat which is a bit worrying. Especially as it's my daughter's thirteenth birthday tomorrow and our home is going to be invaded by nine [yes NINE] newteens for a 'sleepover'. I must be bonkers. Brandy, honey and lemon now top the shopping list.
[rab] Nice to hear news of Dresden, me ol' china. Although I lived in Germany for 11 years [child of the forces], the cities of East Germany were but names with disquieting connotations and never to be visited. The closest I came was a longish spell in Berlin which I remember as a gloriously spacious city. Even though I was young, I still have a sense of the amazing architecture and the night-life. However, the salutary reminder of its isolation from the west came during my train journeys to boarding school which crossed the eastern zone. At the checkpoint, the window blinds would be firmly lowered and we were instructed to stay in our seats and not move under any circumstances. The train travelled really s-l-o-w-l-y, just to add to the tension. I really must return to the area if only to rid myself of these residual childish fears.
It's back!
For any fans out there, announcement on the BBC News page: Doctor Who to return in a new series, scripted by Russell T Davies, and produced by BBC Wales.
Trusty
[Chalky] Nope, not full time - just the odd week or weekend on a voluntary basis, mopping up teenage tears, giving tool safety talks and eating instant soup. Nice to be thought of as being capable though - I never even thought I was grown up until now.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
PANTSMC IS DOWN!
more posh pants
DrQ]Lets hope its just an upgrade.
Although I have not seen Graham III around the boards for a while, my congrats on going to No 1 on Celebrity MC , together with that evil_edna you've turned the table upside down. (Do you think that will entice Darren back? I do hope so.)
sheepishdaq
Hullo folks. Haven't been online much, though have now at last got a modem sorted on my home computer, so have been updating my celebdaq thing occasionally. Once I have a job sorted so can justify spending ages on the internet I'll probably be seen a bit more around here...

Oh, and thanks for the congrats...
gurt haaaairy beasties
NIK - DO NOT GO TO THIS PAGE!!! Most likely this is a Lycosa godeffroyi, seen this morning on the way to do the washing, downstairs. The ruler is actually a little closer to the camera, so the scale isn't perfectly accurate. A medium-sized common wolf spider.
beastie
DAMN that's big! It looks sort of velvety, was it really hairy?
[flerdle] Nice pic. Only a couple of days ago I found a real biggie on a wall. I had a really good look at it, should have got a photo. This one was really hairy.
long-leggerty beastie
flerdle] Did it manage to get the washing done?
Big? that's LITTLE
[snorgle] It seemed to have short hairs which were fairly flat against its body, giving the velvety look. So - yes, very hairy. Completely, even. And you might notice a white-yellowish bright spot near its front - that's a reflection off one of its larger two eyes. I should have taken an even closer shot. Next time.
Two legs good, eight legs even more efficient.
No, but it's going to clean the floor later, if I can teach it to use the mop wringer.
Hardly Itsy Bitsy
[flerdle] Re-spect! My wife was certainly impressed, pretty much along the lines of "We're never going to Australia!" One question: how does one relocate a spider that size? Or do you just work round them? And how fast doo they move?
OK, that was three questions.
Octalegs
Dunx, I can assure that they can move very fast when they wish to. Usually they are quite docile and just amble about the place but, should you miss on the first attempt at capture, they take off like greased lightning - one second you think you've caught them, next they are five metres away.
My method of capture is a container wide enough to encompass its legs without cutting them off; from above bring the container in line and, quickly and carefully bring it down on top of the beast. The trick then is to get a sheet of cardboard (or similar) to slide between the wall/floor and the container whilst at the same time keeping the arachnid within the container. Given that they are built to fit into and through very narrow spaces this can at times be a challenge.
Yes, they do bite but I understand that whilst it can be painful it is certainly not a life threatening experience. Like most snakes they would rather just get out of the way and will only have a go at you if they have no other choice (e.g. If you get into bed with one!) For the sake of your good wife I might mention that such a situation is so rare as to be non-existent, although someone once said it happened to them. My son is quite happy to let these things walk over him, through his hair and the like ... me ... err, err. I did have one run over my hand - many years ago - when I pulled the mail out of the letter box; it was quite soft and not at all like I would have expected. Truly!
Stuttering
Whoops! How the 'eck did that 'appen?
Double vision
Answer: It didn't. I had a double post up there a minute ago ... must go and see the optometrist methinks.
You rang? :-)

This one, when I tapped the bucket, ran away quite fast, doing a couple of little skips/bounces as it went. I have caught them for relocation using the method Dujon described, but usually I just leave them alone. And yes, I've seen much bigger, Dunx, but let your good wife be not afeared - the big fellas like that really are quite harmless. And soft/light/delicate/shy.

Wibbles
They still give me the heebie jeebies, flerdle! Anyhoo, about time I went to watch the final of the local aerial ping-pong game. Not that I care, but seeing as your local team is in it, I'd best keep up to speed ... ;-)
Collywobbles
I watched it with friends/relatives; some delightful play, and some dreadfully disastrous play (one fumble is brought clearly to mind). Ate lots of junk food, watched it on tv with the sound down, but with Roy & HG on the radio, it was hilarious. Keep an ear out for them next weekend with the other unmentionable code's final.
PantsMC
[Dr Q] Let's hope it's just a computer crash that will right itself soon. Unfortunately, Mr Pants himself wasn't the person who actually *programmed* the MC server, he was just its host - i.e. the one with the password-access power to start and finish games. (Surprisingly, perhaps, the password is not "Badgerline" - I've tried it, and it doesn't work. ;-)

The actual programmer of PantsMC, apparently called Tim, has completely disappeared from the net years ago (and never, in any case, played MC, being no relation of the _tim_ who appeared on Old York and was infamous for Really Bad HTML.)

(PantsMC was, despite its best intentions, probably never the equal of the Old Delphi server...)

PantsMC
Still down at 8.38 pm.
Pants MC
STILL down at 11pm! Neeeeeeeeeed to play! have moves to make! People to put in nid! *getting withdrawal symptoms*
ooh pants!
Still down..oh dear!
Pants down
Can anyone join in? ... :-(
Ouzo for breakfast
Greek restaurants seem quite common here in Dresden, and we have just returned from brunch at the local one. We seem to have got a bit of a reputation with the staff who seem very keen to take the mickey out of us at any opportunity. The local pub seems to employ only the most beautiful staff. Inge seems to be the most favourite, although there are a few votes for Steffi. Yesterday afternoon we were in town and tracked down a huge, beautiful palace that somehow we missed on Tuesday. Last night we ended up in a bar that had a woman dancing away in a box, and who wore a range of increasingly scanty outfits for each session. At first we were rather nervous about entering the establishment, but it turned out to have quite a normal, mixed clientele. I do like Abroad. Especially an Abroad where there are no spiders, and my pants stay up. Here endeth the second dispatch.
PANTS
*getting the shakes*
Pants still down
I've only ever made one move in pants. Things seemed very slow in there - it was weeks before anyone responded (probably as much a comment on my sense of humour than anything else). Welcome Mr Prune!
I like the Pants community, but it does tend to be slow sometimes, and it's not helped by the way the site renders the games as huge tables, which usually only display when the whole page is downloaded. Also, there's the lack of a simulpost detection system. These could be fixed if the site was reprogrammed, of course...
pants
Thanks! I don't know about it being slow - we had things going along quite quickly, then suddenly BOOM! No more pants! For the record, 2.23pm, Mon 29th September, and still no pants. (Sadly not a comment on my social life!)
I looked at Pants but it seemed slightly scary. Those tables look like charts on the wall of my old science classroom. It brought terrible memories flooding back.
Bigpants
Hello everybody, another Pants refugee here. This is my first posting on any other MC related site; I disvovered Pants a couple of years ago and it has proved adequate for my meager needs - until today!! Didn't take me too long to spot some familiar names though! (Its 5.45pm BST on Monday 29th Sept and Pants is still down)
Pants refugees
And here's another one. I have played briefly on Not York (before it too vanished) and at Orange, both under different pseudonyms, and I've also been posting under this name at the Lockisseum. Nice place you've got here.
Welcome, fellow Pantaloons!
Enjoy your stay, which may be permanent, here at MC5. And BTW, for those of you who aren't familiar with making moves with HTML...

What you type and what appears
<b>foo</b> = foo
<i>foo</i> = foo
<small>foo</small> = foo
<hr> =
Yeah, hi all those also from Pants. It's a pity if Pants doesn't come back in some form. Still, there's still this, Orange and MCiOS.
Incidentally, I note the Fortean Times chat forum has started a Cheddar Gorge thread! Heh!
Angus and pseudonyms
Just out of interest, what other pseudonyms have you been on other servers?
My other names
I was Dexter at Orange and Courage the Cowardly Dog on !York. I remember my finest hour probably being on !York, where I managed to goad st dogmael into attempting to pass off "Bugger Me! My Auntie's On The Roof!" during one particularly lewd game of Boardman's: I was using some pretty dubious constructs and he took it and ran the length of the pitch, up the terrace, out the gates and halfway round the world to Auckland before he touched the ball down.
[Angus] Yup, that'd st d.
(please insert the word "be" before the enthusiastic saint's name, there. I seem to have dropped it at a crucial moment)
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag
I like st d. I have a feeling that people thought I was his alterego (probably because of the 'dog' bit) after the MCiOS ban he earned. But just for the record, I'm not.
Valediction?
Has Mr Wildpants been spotted recently? Perhaps he can shed some light on situation. I had a hunch that the server was shuddering to a halt - some of the games have been around for nearly a year now and have all but fossilised. Pants was my introduction to online Crescentfun, so will always hold a special place in my thingy, but life moves on - anyway, I like it here, and there [MCiOS] and that other place [Orange]. Nice people.
!York archive!!
Yay - I just did a search on wildpants and found that York is still with us (sort of). I tried to do a link but failed so here be the address: http://madeira.physiol.ucl.ac.uk/people/jim/crescent/
ooerr
Does anyone want to see pictures of what I saw while walking home tonight? Don't worry... or maybe do... it's... well, it's not a spider...
yes - go-on - don't keep us in suspense!
oh, if you insist, bu it probably means I'll never get visitors now. *grumble grumble*
Ok. I've also moved the spider picture.

Like I said, this isn't a spider. This was perhaps a 45minute stroll from the centre of the city, and it was pretty dark at 6:30pm. It's near the top of the largest hill in the area, which isn't too far from the river. Brisbane is fairly green. I don't know how I noticed it, as it was about 5m away, diagonally upwards. Look here and then here.

I take no responsibility for heebie-jeebies.

Ooooooh!
Well spotted. Looks like a healthy little bugger as well. :)
I take it you don't work for the Brisbane tourist office then?
pretty pattern
Is there any chance next time of climbing the tree to gett a bit closer? I'd be interested to see the pattern on the back of its head.
one word...
err... no. The tree was fairly spindly and a bit rough, and in someone else's yard. And I'm going away on Thursday, and it'll probably be gone :-(
or try this...
[Inkspot] or have a look at this; best enlargement/detail I can do.
urgh
... and sorry for any incoherence/misreading/whatever I might be doing right now; text is always hard to hear tone, Inkspot, and I'm currently suffering bad, bad hayfever, and extreme tiredness... g'night all. *falls off chair*
Aww, poor flerdle. We should treat our snake snappers more considerately. Here, have a hankie.
Wow!
I wish I lived in a country with things like that. Just my luck that the only foreign place I've been in for any length of time was New Zealand, where the most interesting wildlife is a pom pom on legs.
pants
Still no news I take it? ten to eight tuesday evening, and still no pants!
[BM] What, a dust puppy?
Pants
The PantsMC player profiles page is still up and working. I have sent MWP an email at the address you send your profile, though what good it'll do I don't know. I haven't had a reply yet, but it was only about 24 hrs ago.
Late arrivals at the discussion between Bob the dog, Dunx & Chalky up there...
Probably just my perspective, having ducked out of the whole MC circuit for a while (and having stuck solely to !York before that), but this place has a feeling of the afterlife, or a nuclear fallout shelter about it - in the best possible way. There's a lot the same, familiar faces and games, but somehow you always end up thinking about the ones who're missing, and the classic games of the past.
Did I really just type that?
Pantsy
The esteemed MWP has been spied in the Lockisseum, and said more or less that the outage is probably permanent.

I hope the games can at least be recovered...

Well, at least that would give me closure on the red name issue! I wonder if a new MC site will spring up elsewhere.
[Rosie] That was because the player profiles page was hosted on Mr Pants's own VirusPlanet server, not on Cream.org.
Profiles of Pants
[JLE] The new one that Alfredo García has is on Geocities. http://www.geocities.com/pantsmcprofiles/profiles.html
Tuj] !York had inbuilt character because it had lived a bit. This site has an embrionic character of its own and is fertile ground.
[bob] And also because the move from Old York to Not York was pretty much seamless - !York was up within days, and Old York carried a redirector page to the new address. So there was pretty much continuity there, which the disappearance of York *without* replacement doesn't achieve.
Hmmmm...
Two dead links on the front page. I shall leave them there as a reminder to whoever to get an archive together which I will link to when put in place. Mind you, I can't see why !York at least couldn't be made live again.
However
On a more positive note, if there are any Pants refugees wishing to take residence here then I offer my warmest welcome to you all, and could even be convinced to get a new game going in celebration. In fact, I wonder if it's time for a couple of new games now that the current ones have been running for a while. I might nominate Centurion as a possibility, as one that never really caught on.
New Game
[rab] One of the most popular games on Pants was Animal, Vegetable, Mineral. Perhaps that should be added here?
AVM and Abstract
I loved AVM & A - an excellent game for bringing out the competitiveness/stroppiness/impatience in some players - snorgle's obscure polecat being a memorable example. heheheheh. Blimey, I'm reminiscerating already.
sorry -just practicing
Thanks Dr Q
Chalky - stirring
Dammit - it was a caracal lynx! You think you'd remember..
snorgle's whatever
So it was. I didn't guess it anyway, despite frenetic googling.
New games
(Dr Q, Chalky) I agree. It would be nice to see that. Also Jeopardised, which for non ex-Pants members I should explain meant you were given an answer and had to provide a question. I think we can take it that Pants is as dead as the Norwegian Blue, but if not, and only "sleeping" I have to admit I'll be back, as old habits die hard. One of its best features was the chat space available in all the games.
Jeopardised
[Rosie] I think you'll find the very thing in Orange MC.
Informal game chat
[Rosie] I agree wholeheartedly (including the return should the server finally cool down.) Whilst Pant's format was in some ways limiting that particular facility was most useful, in that one could quickly scan recent entries and 'have a think' and whilst doing that have a chuckle at the comments. Rab, I'm not complaining!
Much later
[Rosie] Two things if I may. Firstly, did you receive a response to your e-mail? My system is doing some odd things at times; it gives me an error message and, at the same time, tells me the mail has been sent. Secondly, you being interested in weather, you may be interested in this site - http://www.bmcc.nsw.gov.au/weather/?Submit=I+Accept - the site is a good 3000' higher than I, so it's not really indicative of my weather. It's quite a neat set up though.
Wiggly things
Was that a Diamond Python? It looks a bit like that to me, not that I'm an expert; my son would give me an instant report, however, he's not here. Anyhoo, they are totally harmless - even I will let one run around me (apart from the neck) they're constrictors.
Lost again
That was supposed to be addressed to our resident herpetologist. Sorry, flerdle.
*waving*
Hello Friends from pants. Is nice to meet you all.
Chill Blaine
I had to be in London today. By 4.30pm my meetings were over so I wandered over to tower bridge to see Mr Blaine. It was not disappointing. The wind was getting up and he was swinging around quite merrily.
Blaineless
Oh. Is he still there?
David Blaine and other animals
Presume so. Glad I'm not the only one paying NO attention to stupid Americans! Speaking of stupidity, what's everyone's take on this Russian Roulette gig of Derren Brown's? (Is it odd they have the same initials?)
before your very eyes
I hadn't heard about it, so I googled and found this. Isn't this an old illusion in a modern context? Stage illusionists in Houdinis time regularly had members of the audience disemboweled or eaten by lions for maximum shock tactics. What Derren Brown is good at is publicity. If you saw a magician in a local club doing this, you'd probably not bat an eyelid.
Blaine - oh him!
I was in London last week, the taxi driver (who had just had an altercation with a large and very tatooed van driver) puttled into the traffic near the Blaine thing. "What's the holdup?" I inocently asked. "Oh, it some f***ing idiot in a f***ing glass f***ing box," taking deep breath to refresh expletive store, "causes nuffin' but f***ing trouble, all the f***ing idiots slow down and rubberneck, pain in the f***ing arse." Glad I asked, really.
Tag der Deutschen Einheit
Day off today, as it's German Reunification Day, which appears to be celebrated in absolutely no way whatsoever. I'm not sure what one would do - maybe create small model walls and knock them down or something. Anyway, this means that there's no physics lectures (hurrah) and an opportunity to head into town and take some pictures. At least, now that the fog has lifted.
Laying the Blaine
I went to see him a while back. I thought it was actually quite interesting - I was struck by the fact that he's not suspended very high, so you can see him more clearly than I anticipated. At least he's only there for 44 days - Simeon Stylites stood on his pillar for 30 years, and even patriarchs and emperors went to see him.
Rab - are you living/working in Germany?
Nope
Just a short visit - two weeks in Dresden on a 'workshop' which is a kind of low-talk-density conference. Back home tomorrow.
Einheit
[rab] I'm struck dumb - there really is a concept for which the German word is shorter than the English. But I s'pose Einheit is really 'unity'. Reunification (13) is Wiedervereinigung (17) - and rational order is restored. Phew!
sub atomic worm hole attacks carrot
In the game AMV is there a limit to how small you can go, as I was wondering last night, about atoms and molecules. Is a uranium atom "mineral" or is it abstract because at that scale it is millions of atoms that make the solid object. Once I started thinking of this (it was late) I also wondered about neutrinos, quarks, string and unstable waves in the 11th dimension (I had do stop somewhere) when does somethig stop being AVM and are sub/atomic particles allowed?
atom?
The atom is the smallest possible "mineral", because it, by definition, is an element. Anything underneath that (e.g. quarks, pions, leptons, gluons, neutrinos, photons, etc.) is abstract.
Hang on
So where's the distinction between mineral and animal? Animals are made of atoms. And we count parts of animals, such as a leather jacket, as animal for these purposes. So a fragment of bone would count as animal, even though it's just a big pile of calcium atoms. So what about a single atom removed from that bone? Is that animal, while an identical atom removed from a rock is mineral? If we say that both atoms are mineral, then the difference between animal and mineral must lie in the form rather than the matter. But then a dinosaur bone has animal form but is made of mineral matter that was never part of the animal. Chalk is clearly a mineral but is made of what was once animals. In fact, given the existence of the "rock cycle", in which volcanic, metamorphic, and sedimentary rocks all turn into each other - and into animals and plants and back again - with slow but ineluctable regularity, it seems that there is no objective dividing line between any of our three categories, and it's all just arbitrary.
[Breadmaster] It's only a game!

Going back a bit, I did apply to load the revolver in that Derren Brown thing. I got as far as having to do an audition tape but it never went further. Probably I was just too strange.

[BM] If it is alive/dead but the components thereof have not sufficiently decomposed to the point where it would be considered a mineral by geological standards, then it's animal and/or vegetable. A cricket ball, e.g. is both animal and vegetable. Bone, if that were the object in question, I would list as animal and mineral.
Or they just found the idea of Darren and Derren on stage at the same time to be too disturbing...

[BM] All sounds a bit quantum, to me.
What you're trying to do is draw definite lines along fuzzy boundaries, which looks OK from a distance but when you look closely, well, aren't.

Pedantic? I?
[Darren] "Only a game"? You won't win anything with an attitude like that, my lad!
We had the same argument over SARS when that was a subject -- was it an animal, vegetable, or mineral? A virus is a non-cellular collection of ribonucleic acids which merely attaches to an unlucky living cell and sort-of-passively uses the cell's contents to propagate itself.

I'd claim it's a mineral, but others would have a valid argument otherwise.
And what about mushrooms?
'shrooms!
Fungi in general would be considered vegetable.
Derren
So do we hope he snuffs it or what? (Refusing to get into highly confusing conversation about anything below sub-atomic level)
Dr Q] How would you class Harry Potter?
[Btd] Animal/Abstract.
rushing roulade
I'm staggered they're showing Russian Roulette on TV. There was enough trouble with Jackass!! What the f*ck is going on? In a way, I hope he cops it. Would teach the lads at Channel 4 a lesson, eh? Mwahahaah!
The trouble with all these illusionists doing "high-risk" stunts is that we all *know* they'll survive it. It's like an adventure movie, you always have the nauseating knowledge the protagonist will come through in the end. Of course, there have been the rare occasions where it's all gone horribly wrong, but frankly I much prefer smaller, close-up magic than the hyped-up stuff.
continued....
So, you may ask, why did I apply for the Derren Brown thing? Well, having seen his other TV shows, I wanted to see what it would be like, simple as that.
later...
[Dujon] Sorry am late replying, visiting friend near Wollongong, and with travel and all I didn't have net access for 48HOURS!!! I coped though :-). I don't know much about identifying snakes, so can't help you there much, but it did look like some sort of python, and was about 6ft long. I put a closeup of its head (and so some of its pattern) in that same directory, if I hadn't mentioned that before.
AVM distinctions
There is no problem in distinguishing between A, V and M (provided we can agree on a definition of life). Animals have life and a nervous system. Vegetables have life and no nervous system or brain. Minerals don't have life. The definitions include derivatives of Animal and Vegetable eg leather jacket, plank of wood, as has been mentioned. Inkspot puts his finger on it when saying there is a limit of how small you can go and to reduce it to atoms leads to meaninglessness. Even reducing it to molecules causes great difficulties.
And ... there's more!
I believe that, in the main, the idea is/was to have a target which is commonly known or which can be readily deduced rather than something esoteric. The whole idea is simply to give participants the chance to exercise logic and have a bit of fun in the process. In my opinion the use of 'string', as in the twine variety, is fine; the use of 'string' in the quantum sense is rather obtuse to most people and thus not in the spirit of the game. We all have our areas of special interest and should avoid the use of terms which are specific to experts (amateur or otherwise) in those fields. Well, that's my two bob's worth. ... :-)
I agree. It is easy to think of words/objects that cross the boundaries, but are they really fun to play? Surely it is the responsibility of the chairperson to set objects that are interesting, logical and entertaining. Dujon] This is my one Bob's worth!
AVM
If someone tried to put up something like 'a calcium atom from an animal bone' no-one'd ever get it and they'd be seriously looked down upon in future. I don't know how many bob's that was. Maybe Bob (the dog) knows best.
Bobbing up
Agree with all above. Also, from experience, when In The Chair - it's worth considering how attentive you can be for the following few days. DrQ's 'mineral' moved along fairly swiftly, even though there were plenty of questions - all down to the fact that he was 'here' and could reply quickly. Ten bob please.
Hide your pants!
Under the circumstances, shouldn't the Pants link icon be removed from the main page?
Tightening belt.
What's a suitable period of mourning after, and if, the illness is terminal? Perhaps we should await completion of the Coroner's enquiry.
Having Enquired
Dead as a Dodo. Mandatory period of mourning - one more day.
Efficiency
Coroner, sir/madam, you are the most prompt and effective government official whom I have had the pleasure to meet. Now; rab's laid out the welcome mat - ta! Cushions, check; sofa, check; glass, check; whoops! where's the bar? ... ;-)
Reptiles
[flerdle] Sorry, just read your post re your slithery friend. I suspect the D.Python. Welcome to the south, sorry about the cool weather; now if you'd been here las......
cool
[Dujon] Ta. I *likes* the cool weather, and yes, I consider it cool, rather than cold, which is a good thing. But then again I'm near the coast right now, and it has been up to something like 15 C. The weather was really good until this afternoon, when it started raining. Oh well, more time for hot chocolate drinks and good books. There go the plans for rock-climbing tomorrow (although I would have merely been watching). We have managed to watch not one, but two movies in a couple of days - remarkable considering I haven't gone to the movies in a very long time. I would heartily recommend Pirates of the Caribbean. Hrmm, Lara Croft etc etc (2) is passable; I admit I'm not a fan, I hadn't seen the first one or played the game or read the comics or whatever else there is to know about it; I kept being distracted by her lips (not attractive, I'm afraid), and Chris Barrie trying to be serious (?!?)

Oh, and I have another photo, but that will have to wait till I get home. It was near the foodscraps bin this time...

Yeah, Pirates is pretty good, and fitted in well with the ride. I just saw Stephen Fry's Bright Young Things yesterday, which I'd also recommend.
Stephen Fry and Other Geniuses/Genii/Genies
Has anyone been watching QI? Fabulous! Incidently, what is the plural of genius?
ii us
And what is the plural of platypus?
snorgle
Platypi. And very tasty it is too...
My back
Five hours in Frankfurt airport and a hangover. Yum. But yesterday was another day.

[Inkspot, a while ago] Although using an abbreviation might be classed "cheating" I really cannot find a way to explain the meaning of 3er WG using anything shorter than "communal dwelling shared by three people" in English. WG stands for Wohngemeinschaft, btw. And 3er is not an abbreviation. It's a genetive, of all things.

[Darren, et al, re links] I refer you to this comment I recently made on the subject.

QI
Angus] 'Sbeen good, hasn't it? Heard one review saying it was the ISIHAC of TV, though I wouldn't quite go that far. Though it's closer than anything in a long time.
Quite Interesting
I keep missing QI, it's the type of programme I love, so I must really make the effort..
Quirky Intellectualising
It's not ISIHaC, in my opinion - not even close - but it's a superb half hour's entertainment. Fry is magnificent [isn't he always?] and last week Alan Davies was not just very funny, but even managed to 'outbuzz' Jeremy Hardy.
I must confess that I'm about to switch on Ch4 and watch that eejit doing his 'live on air' russian roulette thing.
rolling russian
Oops! I missed it. Is he dead?
bullet chamber 3
snorgle]He missed.
Rab]The only 3er I know about is the conker my son Owen has. I shall get my revenge! there were some great conkers in the churchyard round the corner from us.
Conkers
I once kept a conker for a year after it survived the school conkers season. However, in its first match next season - it was a 67-er, mainly by virtue of picking up all the points from other conkers in the "last man standing" stakes - it didn't so much shatter as squish.
All Conkering
Some time ago, I lived on the Northants/Cambs border. A small village nearby, Ashton, played host to the Annual National Conker Championships. Serious stuff. I wonder if it still does? *wanders off for a quick google*
Freakout
What-ho, ladies and gents. How are we all this fine eve? My sincere thanks to Dr.Q for informing me of the sad demise of Pants MC. I think a minute's silence sould be observed. Nobody post here for another minute. Thank you.
hail fellow well ......
OK - minute's up. Hi Thrax :-)
nosing
Where have you been, Thrax?
World Conkering
Blimey - that Conker thing I mentioned - it's the WORLD Conker Championship, no less. Second Sunday in October. That's a week today.
Freakout
Hey there, you two. I've just been hither and thither. I've just had a go at the Pants game, but for some reason my entries didn't come out right. No bold, and all my 'return's didn't work. I feel glum.
glum-busting
[Thrax] A couple of pages back, DrQ posted some helpful hints for highlighting text which includes the 'tags' for Bold, Italics, Small Font and Drawing a Line. If you use the same symbol pattern that he has shown - ie. the pointy chevron ones to the right of the letter 'M' on your keypad, the tag for line break is 'br', and the one for new para is 'p'. Usefully, in here you can 'Preview' your entry before you 'Submit' it.
Recap on basic HTML
What you type and what appears
<b>foo</b> = foo
<i>foo</i> = foo
<small>foo</small> = foo
<br> = [new line]
<hr> =
HTML
(Dr Q)"small" (got to type it like that) doesn't seem to work with me. I tried it in a comment in the Limericks. If I just use "s" as a tag it gives a crossed out word. Any ideas?
Smallish
[Rosie] It did work. If you are comparing the size of your comment type face with that of snorgle, don't. She used a specific font size command (on this occasion size 4 - that is, '<'font size=4'>' before the comment text and '<'/font'>' after the comment. (without the apostrophes - DrQ is more clever than I when it comes to HTML; I have no idea as to how to show code as text. I think it's a 'tt' and '/tt' command, but I'm not sure as to what else is required)
Size is everything.
Whoops, sorry Rosie, that should have been -4. See the difference below. 4 is obviously the larger.

Hello

Hello

< and >
[Duj]
&lt; = < , &gt; = >
Take two.
&lt; = < , &gt; = >
Thanks to the good Dr.
Let's try that again, then.

<font size=4> This is it
<font size=-4> This is it
<small>This is it

This is it
This is it
This is it
Humble pie.
Sorry, I was experimenting and hit the wrong button. Turns red and disappears.
It is colours with me
In the past I have used browser friendly colours on this site - but they came out oddly. They seem to be working now, according to the preview button. Let me know if you see anything different...
FONT COLOR="BLUE"
FONT COLOR="RED"
FONT COLOR="MAGENTA"
FONT COLOR="GREEN"
FONT COLOR="#63bdb5"
FONT COLOR="#006B84"
FONT COLOR="HAMPSTER"
small furry animals
[BtD] The first four and the last have come out as "named". The two variations of green [nos. 5 & 6] are very pretty and have codes within the "...". Was that intentional? I have attempted to post this in "hampster". It may end up as a dead hampster, ie. blue.
web colo(u)rs
For lots of colours that can be used with most browsers put this in your favourites
Dead furry animals
Sadly, a blue "hampster". Yes, the hexadecimal codes were intentional because there are no names for these colours.
If I had to name them...
Hospital Corridor
Blue Pants In With Whites
colouration
Ah, the famous 'pants left in wash'. As for your hospital corridor, I've never seen one that colour... It is the colour of the disposable drapes we use for knee replacements, arthroscopies and various other orthopaedic procedures. Also the very flattering hats we have to wear in theatre.
costume departments
[Angus] You're an actor? Or perhaps a theatre critic? Oh, how thrilling! I don't care. I've switched off my brain because I'm going to Nice for a holiday tomorrow :o)
Um, no...
Actor on the weekends. The rest of the time I'm a nurse in theatres, getting to see peoples insides. Such fun!
Breaks
Pen] Your namesake laid TWO eggs yesterday! Have a good holiday. Angus] Adds a new dimension to the phrase "break-a-leg".
oh yeah
Does too. Tell you what, never getting me on a motorbike - seen too many remnants!
Angus] My Mum was a radiographer and made me swear I'd never ride a motorbike.
HTML tricks
(Dr Q, Dujon) Thanks. I must save this page. BTW I still can't get used to typing "Rosie" instead of "ro987". Whoops, what a giveaway.
I doubt anyone will have the opportunity to use it now, Rosie, hehehe.
Of course, although HTML doesn't list all the colours by name, you can get some nice colours by putting a random word or phrase into the 'color' bit. So this colour, for example is 'Werewolves of London'.
Of course, that's where the Hampster colour comes from. I wonder if you can reverse engineer that to find a phrase from a colour?
You mean...
Swansea Summer
Conservative conference hair
Road Squirrel
Nurse!!!
New Labour
[penelope] I hear it's very nice in Nice. Here's a Colour Chart for guidance:
How about ...
Before the Côte d'Azur
Day 1 in the Côte d'Azur
Return from Côte d'Azur
[Ibid, BtD] I think Newborn's Nappy is more apt than the Werewolf thingy.
This is a wonderful distraction. I'm supposed to be revising for a computer exam tomorrow. Playing with font colours counts ... erm ... doesn't it?
[BtD] Interesting how your "New Labour" comes out in proud Tory blue... Quite suitable, really...
colouration (again)
Chalky - your 'return from Cote D'azur colour' is me after stepping outside my front door in December! I burn so damned easy...
burn baby burn . . .
[AP] Then you'll be in need of Bob the dog's Nurse!!!
Codes and Code Looking
[Dujon] re: displaying codes as text; what you're after are a couple of HTML entities for the '<' and '>' characters - these are &lt; and &gt; respectively. The <tt> tage you mention only changes the typeface used to display the text, although I usually prefer to use <code> (as you will see if you view source). In summary, then:

You typeYou see
&lt;<
&gt;>
&amp;&
<tt>teletype text</tt>teletype text
<code>code sample</code>code sample

Note Be very careful with these - it is tremendously easy to miss out a semi-colon and completely wreck the effect. Use Preview if you can!

Yes I Do!
People seem to be missing the simulpost messages, so I guess I ought to check they're still being displayed.
Churn
And then...
It does...
Yeah, I guess that's not as in-yer-face as it could be.
darren brown
was it a trick??
Code breaking
[Dunx] Thanks - I did try the code tag but, because I did not use the commands for the greater than/less than, it obviously fell over. One lives and learns!
Look no stance!
The AVMA players may find it easier to be less chatty now - you can be stance-free if you're still managing to be apropos.
But I like standing!
See?

Stands

Arnie for president
snorgle]on Dujon's shoulders I see.
I'm not collecting them on purpose, honest.
As promised, another photograph; you have been warned. Huntsman. A small one. Note the different shape of the legs, much more crab-like.
Igitt!
Makes me really glad that I live somewhere boring like the UK. I would also wager that one of its legs is missing, and I'm not sure if I find that more or less preferable to a fully kitted-out version.
Incy wincy
Yes, it may harbour thoughts of revenge..
Half Mast
[rab] Nicely done on the greyed out links. I shall probably just remove them, I'm afraid.
Stunt double
I saw David Blaine in Tescos this morning. Do I win £5?
[flerdle,rab] "The spider we want is the one who tore off that leg."
arachnophobia
I didn't have it, but I do now! Yeeks! Please tell me such a thing has never been seen in good old blighty! Having just spent twenty minutes watching 'Infested', bugs are not on my hot list right now. Made the mistake of watching Life of Grime too - never again...
one, two, three, four, five, seven, eight
[rab] It's not unusual to see the odd 'peg leg' wandering around.

Which reminds me ...
At the risk of boring you to death. About six or seven years ago I was sitting in the 'bar' (actually the garage) of a mate's place and was positioned next to a largish double sliding glass door which gave access to the rear of the house. Whilst enjoying the afternoon sunlight beaming through the glass (that's the door, as well as the hand held one!) I noticed a wasp wandering up the pane. It was about 2" to 3" long and was dragging a huntsman spider up the door. I had heard of wasps paralysing spiders and laying their eggs within but had never seen the act. Anyway, interesting as that was at the time, some twelve months ago I had a wasp buzzing around in my workshop - it's not unusual and usually ignored - which finally got itself tangled in my hair (what's left of it.) Naturally I brushed it away. When I did it dropped its load; a load that I had not realized it was a'carrying. The bounty which it had lost landed on the keyboard of my computer which I was using at the time; it was the legless body of a huntsman! Urrgh! It turns out that the wasps paralyse the spiders, nibble off their legs at body level and then lay their eggs and secrete them within the little dirt cells that they build. It gave me the shivering quits for a couple of days, I can tell you.

beastly happenings
[Duj] Thanks for that. I suddenly find that I can't face my Weetabix this morning.
One potata
[Dujon] I refer you to my previous remark.
Oh my God!
[Dujon] That is possibly the most traumatic thing I have ever heard. Thank God that disgusting item didn't land IN YOUR HAIR. However, I was under the impression that the things that paralyse spiders and lay their eggs on them so that they get slowly devoured by grubs are not wasps but ichneumons, which look similar. Ordinary wasps, however, do carry body parts in the way you describe - I once watched a wasp attacking a bee, which it did by sitting on its back and systematically chewing through its thorax. When it finished it flew off with the abdomen - presumably the yummy bit - leaving the front half of the bee staggering around until I mercifully squashed it. Perhaps what you saw was the aftermath of a similar act of piracy. The mere existence of the ichneumon, by the way, was partly responsible for the Victorian "crisis of faith", because many found its existence impossibly to square with the notion of a good creator God. Incidentally, I will keep your anecdote for when I need to terrify my girlfriend. She refused to come to bed last night because a SMALL MOTH was sitting on the wall. Well, that's what she said anyway...
Poker
[Spiders] I see your spiders (*shudder*), and raise you The Japanese Spider Crab: The biggest crab is the Japanese Spider crab (Macrocheira kaempferi), which lives on the floor of the north Pacific Ocean; it has a 12 ft (3.7 m) leg span.
spiders and creepies and bugs, oh my!
[breadmaster] Moths are awful! Quite why they have to mistake my face for a lightbulb I will never know! [Nik] I hope it stays there!
MC
Incidently, why is no-one playing the long game any more? My move is there to be ridiculed/praised/gasped-in-awe at/smirked at/ruled illegal...
It's been a long long time. . .
[AP] The complexities of the long game can take some time to calculate. Moves can be irregular and often come in bursts. Yours was a cunning move and it took me some time to see a gap in the web of LV currents to make a move to benefit me.
MC
Oh, I am the veritable prince of cunning. 'Cept when I'm not.
Abso bloody lutely nothing.
I just came across this - fell off my chair; I don't know whether or not it's been done before but, if so, I have not seen it;

As found in the Canberra Times, Personals section...

'Wanted: A tall well built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

Interested? Then please only read
lines 1, 3 and 5; still interested?
Call me at...... ***********'

huh?
I'd heard of that sort of thing as a joke, but actually printing it... ??
Backdown
Yes, in hindsight I was somewhat carried away, flerdle. Please accept my sincerest apologies - I had no intention of offending anyone's sensibilites and will in future be a little more circumspect with my postings. Again, my apologies.
Wasp like insects
[Breadmaster] This fellow looks very like the beastie I saw carting the spider up the door glass - she was certainy an all-over orange in colour - particularly with the back lighting.

The one who, along with it's load, became entangled in my thinning thatch was more likely a black species which is common here. They have the typical dangling long legs as they aeronaut around the place and often pop into my workshop to pass the time of day.

not to worry
[Dujon] My comment wasn't directed toward you; I was surprised that the paper had done it.
Still embarrassed
Thanks, flerdle, but my comment still stands. Funny as I found it, this is not a pub.
Public house
[Dujon] I suspect that such a thing appearing in print would be impossible as an advertiser cannot predict how their copy will be presented. Unless it was one of the staff having a laugh. Meanwhile, I always thought this place had the ambience of a pub about it. I'm not sure I want to persue the analogy though...
hic
Otherwise, we'll never sober up.. btw, you didn't offend me, so don't be too embarrassed.
I'm offended though. Cooking frogs' legs...? ;-)
Can I have your glasses, please? At least you don't hear that here. :-)
Polititude
[Rosie] When was the last time you were in a bar where they're that polite? My favourite euphemism for f*** off out the door is "Can you start to think about making a move now please?". By the way, has the law on licensing hours been changed yet? Or will it retain forever the status of empty election promise?
*hanging tinsel round the crescent*
Yay! Its Christmas! Hurrah!
greetings from the cote d,azure
Posting from NIce on one of these strangely-arranged keyboards... having a lovely time :o)
penelope
Wahay :-). Are you a Nice colour?
Is this not a pub?
[pen] Any pics to prove your presence? :)
[Duj] I thought it was f***ing hilarious, really. :)
Licensing Laws
[rab] The bill to change the rules came before Parliament, but it was defeated for (IIRC) some trivial technical reason and time was not granted to try again. Apparently, fewer MPs care about reducing the amount of after pub violence than about banning fox hunting.
not gone totally crazy, yet!
Sorry about my previous outburst. The choir I'm in recorded a Christmas CD (in june?!?) and its been released, so I was happily transported to a Christmas world caused by listening to the disc. (And you can all buy it in the shops or on-line, www.halle.co.uk. It's called Christmas collection (rather uninspired, methinks) but is a jolly good CD). And by the way, advance warning, on sunday 19th october the Halle orchestra and choir are performing Brahm's German requiem. Looks set to be an excellent concert. (7.30pm, Bridgewater Hall, Manchester). Time to stop self promoting and get back to work.

[pen] Hope you're having lots of fun. Tis still rather windy here in the UK, so enjoy the pleasant climes!

I'll be in Manchester that evening. Unfortunately, I'm there to see Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure at 8pm in the Opera House.
Important astrologer
[Nik] Don't you like Dave Gorman? I'd happily swap places with you!
In the bleak midsummer...
[Lib] Oh the joys of recording - I've had to do that twice now, and it gets really wearing, especially if the weather's good. Last time we found and decorated a christmas tree to put in the chapel...
Fibs
I starting seeing Fibonacci numbers everywhere, which was nice for a while, but I then realised I made a mistake and they've gone again. It's still very rum though...
Jingle Bells
Christmas really has started too early this year. Debenhams were putting their decs for sale in August. :(
[UK] Ba-dum, tsch!
Fibs, fibs and more fibs
[rab] Rum indeed! Well, cheap plonk, really. Funny you should mention them though; I've just been doing a little bit of reading - mainly on the Golden Square/Ratio side of things. It's amazing where the things turn up in nature.
p.c.less
My home pc lost power on Tuesday, so no home surfing, Wednesday in for a new internal power supply. Took the pc home but the modem did not work, no surfing again, back to the shop. Several deep breaths and sighs later they came to the conclusion that it needed to be kept in overnight the problem being "It's a bit creaky" being a not to clued up on computers this tchno babble, I let them keep in. It worked fine when I bought it four years ago! (AMD500 with 64Mb RAM). No pc last night again. If it goes over the weekend I'll end up going cold turkey. My only consolation is here at the office which is for work purposes only.

Dujon]Golden square takes me back to my student days and the first year of my architecture degree and didactic patterns in nature. Including a day of research in the fine city of Bath.

Birthday
rab] Nice cake - it it an MC5 anniversary?
No
An act of pure self-indulgence on my part.
Cake with candles
[rab] oooh! Are you nine today?
Bring back Teddy!
...or ninty?
[Chalky] *blushes*

[Boolbar] Ninty? Sounds a bit like that Brazillian slang 'Pinto' to me. And just for you:

Happy Birthday
A wonderful day, dearest rab!
I hope the hangover is fab!
You'll drink the bar dry,
And (when pigs start to fly)
The uni will pick up the tab!
Many Happy Returns
Splendid. On a Friday aswell. Mine's a large brandy.
OK - self-disclosure alert. This astrology mallarkey. Received wisdom = it's a load of cobblers ... BUT - all the important people in my life [bar one and he's in January] have birthdays between mid - Sept and mid - Nov. Having just done the daughters, sister-in-law and a nephew in the last fortnight - next week it's my brother, a girly friend, two blokey friends and my boyfriend - all within 4 days. ALL these people live close by and warrant - nay, DESERVE more than just a card in the post. So many excuses to go to the pub. Oh yes, and the couple of weeks after - it's my late [God rest 'im] father, the french nephew and niece, another sister-in-law, another brother, my wonderful mother and the budgie ..... blah de blah de blah ....
So, rab, you're in fine company.
October babies
Is this sudden rush of birthdays anything to do with potential parents getting frisky (or very drunk) around Christmas, New Year and the beginning of Spring?
Felicitations
Many happy returns, Rab! [BtD] All of the best people are born in October!
Many happy returns of the day!
Salutations and many more rab!
birthdays
(Uncle K) Too true. Mother (still alive) and younger brother - 27 Oct. Niece 11 Oct. Not far away is other niece - 24 Sept, and me - 17 Nov when I move from a prodigiously multi-factored number to a prime number. Also 27 Oct are two other people I know plus the barmy Glenn Hoddle. None of this supports the idea that astrology is anything other than a compendium of testicular flummery. Anyway, Scorpios never believe in astrology, do they?
Happy returns rab
UK, Rosie] Gosh! Yes I've just checked. It seems that there is a suprisingly high rate of musical talent demonstrated by those born in October. There are also alot of Johns.
Persons of good reputation born in October and not called John: rab, Thom York, Bob Geldoff, Julian Cope, Mahatma Ghandi, Groucho Marks, Harold Pinter, Oscar Wilde
Persons of good reputation born in October and called John: John Lennon, John Cleese, John Keats, Johnny Marr
Persons of questionable reputation born in October:Jimmy Carter, Chris De-Burgh, Simon Le-Bon, Cliff Richard, Peter Stringfellow, Winonna Ryder and Margaret Thatcher
The conclusion? If you have a child in October, call it John.
Yeah, I was born in October too which proves that people of high musical talent come from that month.
I'm a September birthday, and I don't believe a word of my families nonsense about my singing.
qualititive survey
Oooh, I love lists. So far:

Rab - Oct 10
Incle Korky - Oct ?
Rosie - Nov 17
Darren - Oct ?
Chalky's budgie - Oct 26
Inkspot - Sept ?

any one else...?

October greats
me: Oct 16
Auntie Korky: Oct 20
Best friend: Oct 8
Best friend's cat: Oct 12
New next-door-neighbour: Oct 24

See you all next Monday (no net access at home, at the mo').
Ninty?
Ah, the missing "e". Oops! Happy Birthdaye Rab!
I'm a September Lad myself.
T-30 and counting
I can smell beer...
Returns
[Rab] Happy Birthday :oD
[All] Back from Nice - my cheeks still burning from this morning's sunshine. I'd recommend Nice in October - hot in the sun, cool in the shade, and warm enough to eat outside under a full moon on a rooftop terrace last night. There were people swimming au Mediterranée, although I didn't. I didn't take any photos, nor send any postcards, nor even buy souvenirs (unless you count bringing home brioche and black olive tapenade) but soaked up the smells and sounds. And I love just sitting outside, idly chatting and watching the world go by and drinking coffee...*sigh* :o)
A Merry Birthday, rab
pen] I have carefully resisted a pun about saying your holiday sounded "Nice".
Oops.
Birthdays
Mine was back in August (26th). I was away in Austria at the time. The landlady of the B&B I was staying in found it out (there was a place where, for identification purposes, I had to sign my date of birth) and presented me with a cake ;-)
bidet
Well, my birthdays June 28, my mother's June 24, and my (dec'd) maternal grandmother's was June 24 as well. My dad's is November 13, and he's a nasty alkie tosser..although his singing isn't bad..
June the twenty-odd
In my youth, I was thrilled to note that my paternal granfather's birthday was June 23rd, my paternal grandfather's was June 24th, and mine was the 25th. Simple things please simple minds, eh?
double up
[Tuj]Your father had 2 dads then? ;)
coinkydink
Well, I'm an October person (Next Sunday, since you ask - one or two of you may remember last October), and my good lady wife is June 24th. My children, thanks to careful planning (or random chance - take your pick) are November 5th and the 4th of July. They have fireworks on their birthdays.
more interuptions
A small beak in transmission whilst we pause slightly to salute snorgle in her historic run of being at No1 for 5 out of the last seven weeks in the Celebrity MC League
I am number one..again!
I thenk yew.. I'm stumped for who to go for now, though..
Beak?
There's a joke there somewhere but I'm damned if I can think of one right now. Well done snorgs.
Neb
[Chalky] Beak/snorgle/joke? I doubt it, I have never known her to be judgemental.
[snorgle] Well done! You must divulge your strategies when you finally pen your autobiography. ... ;-)
codicynces
I can immediately name at least seven people I know personally, with birthdays on the same day as mine. Oh, including me, of course. And I know I've forgotten one or two more. It's about five days over-long, but about when is Valentine's day again? :-D

This might interest some.

Oct 19?
Am I the only Piscean here (the name fits, by the way; as in 'drinks like a'.) Then again, I was born during WWII so I guess limited opportunities were presented! Incidentally, my family is all over the calendar; Mother 17 Nov., Wife 18 Nov. (Should I read something into that?) Siblings 3 Jan, 9 Sept. and 18 Dec.. Father 5 Oct., Paternal Grandmother 8 Oct., Maternal grandfather 9 Mar., Son 28 Jan, Daughter 26 Oct. Granddaughter 11 Aug. No pattern in that lot.
Mar 3
[flerdle] Interesting stats; However, during my life as a banker - which stretched over 26 years - in which time I interviewed innumerable people for account opening/loans and the like, memory tells me that I met 1 (one) person who had the same birthdate as myself - that is, the same month/day combination, not the year. I have always thought of that as statistically strange.
Hogging the cake.
[rab] Sorry, my friend, most remiss of me; happy birthday.
All alone
The only person I know who has the same birthday as mine is Eric Clapton. And I don't technically really know him. Spring seems to be a barren time when it comes to births. They say that on a football field there is a 50% chance that two of the 22 players will share a birthday, but someone better than me at adding will have to verify that.
Pisceans
[Duj] I'm a Pisces [24 Feb] therefore well out of kilter with the rest of my family/friends.
January
I am a Capricorn. But is there a statistical blip here in that so many MCers are experiencing birthdays around this time? Update of Chalkys list:
Rab - Oct 10
Uncle Korky - Oct 16
Rosie - Nov 17
Darren - Oct
Chalky's budgie - Oct 26
Inkspot - Sept
Watty - Oct
Boolbar - Sept
Joining the minority
I celebrate my birthday in March, could be wrong but I like it at that time of year! (And that makes me a self obsessed, competitive, headstrong aries!)
numbers
[BtD] Look at some of the other postings to find or work out several of the others here eg JLE, Watty, snorgle, Tuj, me... And I just remembered another person, so that makes 8 definitely on the same day as me. Is that some sort of record? I don't think I know a thousand peoples birthdays. It's too late to think about this, though. Neeed sleeeeeep...
[Breadmaster] See here for an explanation of that.
Footballers' birthdays
(Breadmaster) Very nearly right. You need 23 people, so add in the ref. The chances for 22 people are 47.6%, and for 23, 50.7%. With 50 people the chances are 97.0% and, needless to say, with 365 it's 100%. None of this takes into account those unfortunates born on 29 Feb in a leap year.
Taurus - Apr 27
Lilith the Psychotic Ferret, as we can figure out, is an Aquarius (we think she was born late January-early February)...what that means for ferrets, God only knows. :)
ferret signs
Ferrets probably have their own astrological signs..Trouser Leg, Screaming Rabbit, etc.
a perfect match
I torched a load of very dry hedge clippings today - there's nothing quite so good for the soul as a smoking and roaring great bonfire and hearing the neighbours spluttering as they rush to bring in the washing from the clouds of billowing smoke. And don't tell me about dioxins and furans and the products of incomplete combustion - I know. But unlike my neighbours ( I know what they ate just about every weekend this summer - I could always smell it cooking), I haven't had a barbecue for two years and so I reckon I'm entitled. :o)
cheeky!
Did you start the fire after they put their washing out? I hate it when people do that..
pre-wash
[Snorgle] Of course I lit it after they put their washing out! What neighbour would put out their washing after I lit a fire? Are you one of those neighbours who waits until I've lit a fire before they put out their washing and then complains when it smells of smoke? I hate it when people do that!! ;o)
wishy washy
On speaking terms with your neighbours then? :P

I suppose it depends how long their washing was out. If it was a while, then fair enough.

Persinally, I use Persil. Wonderful for those hard-to-shift bonfire stains . . .
i like goats
Get a goat. It can then eat the evidence.
Each which evidence? The bonfire or the clothes?
I'm a noxious neighbour - not many people know that
Oh dear - I'm not as inconsiderate as all that! The fire lasted about 20 minutes - I put it out once it had all burned away and the smoke cleared pretty quickly. I use Tesco's own label non-bio. It smells nicer than Persil (and I used to be a Persilite).
Are goats good to eat?
Goats' cheese is good.
Goat Stew
Pen] Yes - goats are very good to eat and I recommend them. They are used quite a lot in West Indian recipes. They taste a bit like strong lamb.
"Blow wind, and crack your cheeks..."
Just a little anecdote, since we were talking about birthdays, and this was brought to mind by a comment rom Rosie in the Mini Cheddars game. As those of you who are observant will already have noticed, my birthday falls on Oct 16. Back in 1987, this was the night of the Great Storm. Co-incidentally, also my 18th birthday. I was kept awake all night by roof tiles clattering groundwards and then smashing on the driveway, but at least I had the good news in the morning that, because of the weather disruption, all schools were closed! Whoopee!
My mother also told me that, when she was a little girl, her mother had told her that if she had been good all year, it would be sunny on her birthday, and if she had been bad, it would rain. She then looked me square in the eyes and said "What did you do?!"
Goats' cheese is NOT good
This has been a running debate between myself and my inlaws who are, notably, French. They are of the opinion that goats cheese is something wonderful. Indeed, how could anyone NOT like it? In fact, they like it so much that when they order a pizza, they make sure that there are 5 or 6 good dollops of goats cheese on top. I hold the considered view that it smells and tastes like vomit.
[Hux] I have to agree. My brother has lived in France for most of his adult life. At his wedding feast in June, French cheese was in abundance as one would expect. There must have been at least 20 varieties - all beautifully presented. I was persuaded to try the goat's cheese - it tasted like a farmyard and seemed to ferment inside me for at least 2 days - every burp, yeuch!
Spooky
Just turned on This Morning with Fern & Phil. What are they tasting? Chuffing Goat's Cheese! [Fern doesn't like it].
Who the heck
In an attempt to remain open minded (palletted?) and under the assumption that it must be "something of an aquired taste", I do try to force it down me once in a while... the taste remains unacquired.

ps. I don't know who "Fern & Phil" are. I thought it was Richard and Judy.
Say Cheese!
Goats cheese is good! Delicious, great on pizzas and unlike some cow cheeses doesn't taste or smell of vomit. Sheeps cheese is not so tasty - sort of smells like the wrong end of a baby. Haven't tried Llama cheese yet.
Rotted milk
Cheese is Evil.
cheesy peas!
[Raak]Probably, but I like it. Cream cheese, cheddar cheese, Emmental, Swiss cheese, soft cheese with garlic and herbs.. yum! I eat way too much of the stuff.
Dairy good
I have to agree with Boolbar. Goat’s cheese is wonderful. If you want a mild variety, make sure the milk has come from a virgin goat (you often get virgin milkers) that has been nowhere near a billy - 'cos it is the billy that has that musky goat aroma. Virgin goat’s cheese is sweeter and creamier than cows milk cheese. More natural and stronger varieties are more to my taste - especially the Brie style (I know some wonderful goats cheese folk in Worcestershire). These are especially good with fresh herbs (mint, dill etc) or deep-fried. Is it lunchtime yet?
I agree with Raak. Who was it who let their milk stand until it was all lumpy, and said, "I know! I'll drain off the liquid, mash all the chunks together, and eat the smooth firm paste that results."? Probably the same person who thought yoghurt looked yummy. Yoghurt is yummy, of course, but you wouldn't think it.
Sheepishly...
I went to see an early Genesis tribute band last night and really enjoyed it. Confession over.
Sorry Breadmaster - Simulposted and unacknowledged. Still disagree - cheese - especially traditional hand made stuff - is the staff of life.
more confessionals ...
[Bob the dog] If it's the same band that I saw earlier this year [Re-Genesis?] I don't blame you. Also - The Australian Pink Floyd are quite amazing.
Phew!
Chalky] Thank you! No, it was The Garden Wall and they did an exact reproduction of the Selling England tour. Apart from a slightly dorky 'Peter Gabriel' it was wonderful. I may even go to see them again in a few weeks time when they come to Birmingham. They are Italian - I believe. Recommended - if you like that sort of thing.
if you like that sort of thing
and oddly, I recommend it if you don't. I didn't think I did any more, but that early prog rock stuff was written to be performed so seeing it live added a whole new dimension for me. It was like some bizarre historical re-enactment society, but extremely entertaining.
Musical Box
[BtD, etc.] Anyone interested in a decent evening of prog would do well to get their bottoms down to the Astoria in Tottenham Court Road in a month's time. The two-day Progeny festival sees IQ headlining on Sat 15 Nov (supported by Pallas and Carl Palmer), and The Enid the following night. I'll be there for IQ, if anyone fancies coming along...
Prog
I'm a bit of a prog nut myself - Yes are my thing. Coincidently my tickets for the NEC in June 2004 arrived in the post this morning! I have always rated Pallas and IQ as well (much better than their contemporaries Marillion), but can't make it to London that weekend.
Cinema Show
UK/Big] also unavailable on that date. Saw the Enid many moons ago and was singled out in the audience for being the "Punk with a chinsey ear-ring". Suprised that IQ still going! They were the good Genesis clones (as opposed to Marrilion) I seem to remember (agree Bigsmith). Have you heard any Tetra Splendour? Gutsy modern music with the odd Prog twist.
Awake & Nervous
IQ are indeed still going strong, and I was able to be at their 20th anniversary concert in London back in December 2001. They're currently working on a new album, and also have an excellent DVD out of their stage show, Subterranea. Further info can be gleaned from www.gep.co.uk/iq
I've recently been getting into Spock's Beard, an American prog group who are being hailed as 'the Yes of the 21st Century'. I would comment, but I'm not yet familiar with Yes past Owner of a Lonely Heart...
Frank Chickens
There now follows a chicken update...
A quick bit of background for those of you who have not followed the progress of the Mornington chickens. Earlier this year I bought three chickens and named them after regular mc5 users Penelope, flerdle and Lib. flerdle laid the first egg.
Well since my last news update, little has happened except the chickens have grown, got red wattles and begun being allowed out into the garden. They love it, especially if I'm digging as they take great pleasure in grubbing freshly turned soil. They run to see me whenever I'm in the garden and will leap for anything you are carrying that looks vaguely like chicken food. I have three big vines in the garden (very fine crop this year) that still have some grapes left over. The chickens will jump two or three feet to get at the bigger grapes higher up.
In return for the grapes, they have laid about two eggs every three days consistently since flerdles first egg, but now things are moving up a gear. On Sunday we had two eggs in one day. Today we have already had three, one of which is huge (oddly zeppelin sized – and shaped). Anyone need any eggs?
boc boc boc
That poor hen! I could use some eggs, but I don't think posting them is a good idea.. :)
With apologies to non-cheese eaters, but - Mmmm... goat cheese. My mouth is watering at the thought of it.

I had a very good goat cheddar from Sainsbury's a few years ago. Excellent, sad I haven't seen anything like it here yet.

What animal's milk is Haloumi from? I know it tastes yummy!
Lib] Haloumi, like Feta should be from sheeps milk, but if you buy a mass produced product it is more likley to be made from cows milk.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
Try Seriously Strong Cheddar - it's the absolute best - it won a prize and everything!
cheese - cheering
I'm going to nominate a mature cheddar-like cheese, made from unpasteurised milk, called Lincolnshire Poacher and made by a friend of a friend. I think it's available all over the country now. Yum :o)
More cheese, gromit
Gjetost for me - Norwegian goats milk cheese.
the "Laundry/ProgRock/Cheese" game
I think a mature creamy Stilton takes a lot of beating.
pennylopie] sounds scrumptious! French cheeses are simply out of this world... my personal favs are St. Nectaire, St. Emilion, and roquefort. Hmmm, I think I'll stop by a fromagerie and boulangerie on the way home tonight and pick up an nice Sancerre rouge while I'm at it!
Hoorah!
*Withdrawl symptoms over*
Curdled milk fetish
Speaking as someone who always ensures a well-stocked cheeseboard at Christmas, my favourites are Ilchester Cheddar Mexicana, Monterey Jack, Mature Cheddar with Caramelised Onions, Y Fenni, and Jarlsberg. On the subject of goats' cheese, I've used small circles of it to good effect, served upon griddled lamb cutlets with red wine gravy.
the important words ...
in all this are 'made from unpasteurised milk'. S'bury's do really quite good unpasteurised cheddar; and an awesome Brie de Meaux (which always makes me chuckle, because it often appears on the bargain-basement-'cos-it's near-its-sell-by-date-and-we're-afraid-of-bugs-and-lawyers shelf - at exactly the time when it is ready to eat and they could, if they wished, charge more for it ...).
Brie de Meaux
[Wol] Is that made from cats milk?
mews
No, you're thinking of Cheshire.
Broardcasting from the depths of Cheshire
[Wol] Friends lead me to believe that Cheshire cheese is actually made from wall paper paste, with a little plaster of Paris mixed in.....*Lib saunters off in the general direction of the supermarket wondering which cheese she'll buy today*
Cheese, and why you should all shut up about it
I'm a big lover of cheese. I'm also on a diet. The two, obviously, do not mix. For the first couple of months, I stuck to my "I'd rather have none than 'low-fat cheese'" guns, but it couldn't last. Thankfully, Tesco do have a "cheese" which - if you close your eyes, hold your nose and think about something else - could be mistaken for a medium-mature cheddar. Unless you heat it (you don't heat it).

I was in Cheddar a couple of months ago, and was forced to go into The Real Cheddar Cheese Company shop, and ended up with a (thankfully small triangle of) vintage cheddar, and it was delicious (in far-too-small portions). I miss (full-fat, creamy, hand-made, farmhouse) cheese (feta, cheddar, cheshire, wensleydale, lancashire, double gloucester, red leicester among... well, more varieties than that). I miss it badly.

thin cheese
[Nik] erm... try the Atkins diet? Then you could eat cheese 'til it comes out of your ears.
Cheesy Cheesy
[Nik] My sympathies. I'm in the invidious position of (1) being overweight and needing to cut down on fats; and (2) being a vegetarian whose primary source of protein is cheese. Tricky. My usual solution is to exercise more, but I can't even run at the moment because of a persistent knee injury. Quite frustrating.

[UK] You confuse me. Most of the cheeses you list are of the highest quality, but then you have Monterey Jack on your cheese board? Maybe the Jack you buy is better than the pappy Jack we can get here... is it dry Jack?

F-Atkins
[penelope] you mentioned the Atkins Diet ... in such a way that you *might* know how effective it is? Having been a very average 5' 6" size 12 for most of my adult life - I now find myself getting quite plumptious and can't be bothered to go to a Slimming Club.
Never mind, Chalky, I doubt you're as overweight as I am!
Atkins
It may work fast but it makes your breath smell.
Cheese
You want the good stuff, I suggest you get it cave matured. Yummy!
cave matured cheese
hardly low fat though is it? There must be diet cheese somewhere that doesn't taste of plastic!
Cardboard etc.
My good wife purchases low salt, low fat dairy products - including yoghurt. I flatly refuse to eat them (yes, I have tried each one!) so the 'fridge has his and hers compartments. ... :-)
Pseudonyms?
Is this "Come As Someone Else Day", or are we being hit with a pseudonym bomb?
Alias or Alien?
Dunno, DrQ. I've just come back to the site after watching strange things popping up here and there and everywhere about an hour ago.
Timing
Err, to pin it down for any reader, it's just after 0235 GMT as I type.
die(t) trying
[Chalky] Re: Atkins diet - I've read the book, tried it for a week or so... and while in principle it works by converting your body's metabolism to that of a starving person living off their fat reserves (David Blaine could be considered to be an Extreme Atkins Dieter), it's bloody hard to keep it up - and you do need lots of mineral and vitamin pills to pop and test-papers to wee on to make sure you're maintaining a state of ketosis. Slimming World do a slightly less extreme low-carb version (as opposed to Atkins' No-carb) which I successfully followed for a couple of months and dropped at least a dress size. Why not attend a slimming club just for a couple of weeks to get all the books, literature and a few recipes, then do the rest on your own? That's what I did. (Well, in fact I nicked one of the books while I was a reporter covering the town's Slimmer of the Year... so in fact I never went to a class at all). Alternatively, learn to love your curves and go for a half-hour stomp every night instead. :o)
Pseudonyms
Or there could simply be an abundance of new users...
Dieting
Whereas Weight Watchers is initially boring but much better for you. Do that, it lost me weight. And I also recommend stomping :)
Atkins
[pen] I'd rather try slicing my limbs off, since that's both less likely to kill me, and more likely to result in a stable weight afterwards.
dreaming
[DrQu+xum]Did you have a nightmare?
WW
[X, p, et al] Weightwatchers is what I'm doing, and last night I beat 5st 7lb after 8.5 months. Apart from the kaeselust, it's quite enjoyable, really. My diet is far better than it has ever been since I left home 9 years ago (and probably better than before then as well), and recently I added some exercise as well. At £4.75/week for the weighing (and optional chat/class afterwards that I never stay for), it's not cheap (especially when you need to lose 7 stone to become a Gold - non-paying - member), but they give out lots of helpful literature, and above all else it's a sane diet, which is why I've bothered with it at all.

More importantly than all this, I'm glad to see my DSL chose to remain alive this morning, after I forgot yet again to make sure it was okay when I left the house.

WW
Hurrah!
Pseudonyms
How do I know you're not all the same person?
strangers
Has anyone seen St Dogmael?
St Dogmael
A film or a person? *wears D hat for not knowing*
the saint
A person. Who usually posts on various MC boards.
st d
snorgle] He hasn't been on MC5 for ages, but I know he is a very regular contibutor to MCiOS and occasionally Orange too. I have seen him in the flesh - if that is what you mean, but not recently. He appears to be pretty normal to me - he has a very quick wit and is an excellent photographer.
Diet
Oh and Nik - well done!
Back to st dog
snorgle] You are right, I've just checked MCiOS and he has not posted in ages - last time was probably on Hyperlink Crescent. If you are suggesting that he is responsible for the sudden burst of odd pseudonyms, I think not. His sense of humour is too advanced.
Meeow
*Gives St Dogmael a virtual poke*
being virtually poked
ouch !
Sleep.
[snorgle] No, but I think I OD'd on Mountain Dew yesterday. I got 3.5 hours of sleep.
od
[DrQu+xum]Isn't that a sort of neon greenish yellow? I wonder if it stains your insides? You have probably gone over your lifetime safe amount of crinoline yellow or whatever the hell it is. Go on a detox diet immediately! Only raw vegetables and fruit juices for you - (and no Sunny Delight doesn't count!)
[Dr Q] Ooh - rampant jealousy! I haven't seen Mountain Dew on sale in the UK for years!

[Dunx] I usually buy my Monterey Jack straight off the deli counter at my local Tesco's. It's got a consistency that I con only describe by comparing it to Edam, but slightly creamier and a bit wobbly. I was amused to note that the label promotes it as an all-American cheese - made in Wales.
Mountain Dew
Never had the stuff. I nearly had some when they had a free sample desk up several years ago in a midlands University, but when I asked what it tasted like, the bloke behind the stand looked at me like I was an idiot and said 'like mountain dew, of course'. Since I didn't want to drink something that tastes of acid rain and goat's piss, I declined to sample any of Mr Miserable's wares. So, does it taste like acid rain and goat's piss?
being poked
schnorkle] so did you want anything then, or were you just wanting to wake me up ?
Mountain Dew
What is it?
owoooooooooo
[st dogmael]Just wondering where you had got to..
[Blue Bananas]A flavoured soft drink. As to what the flavour is, who knows? At least Irn Bru has real iron in it and tastes metallic.
Americana
[UK] Ah - it sounds like the wet stuff, but much more flavourful than the usual run of Jack you get at the supermarket. It is possible to buy cheese which tastes of something, but tasteless, plasticky pseudo-cheese is endemic.

Re: Mountain Dew - tried it once, I didn't like it. It's approximately orange flavoured, but it has a lot of caffeine in it. I managed to drink half a can before I got a splitting headache. I threw the rest away.

Foo!
Mountain Dew is neon yellow/green with large amounts of citric acid and caffeine. It's kick-ass, I tell you! KICK ASS! YEAHYEAHYEAH! *given a sedagive* Yes.
So, sort of like (soi-disant) Sunny Delight, then?
fluids
Sunny Delight is EVIL JUICE and should be outlawed. [Blue Bananas] I know that's you making with the pseudonyms - cut it out!
[Angus] I think s/he thinks it's funny.
Offended
Twas a temporary thing trying to find one I liked. But I like Blue bananas best.
Annoying everyone
Sorry about that. I'm only little, and therefore forgivable.
more guv'
Arnie becomes the £900 celebrity and showing no slowdown
Blue Banana]Hi and welcome to the Mornington community.
More offensive
[Angus Prune]OOh! How did you know?

I got this sent to my hotmail account -

Hi, Thank you for submitting your e-mail address to various SPAM companies, courtesy of The Official David Blaine website, www.davidblaine.com. Your e-mail address alone provided us with 0.5 cents, which, when you think about it, is $1k for every 200,000 addresses. So, thanks for adding to the FoB - Funds of Blaine. While I'm here, kudos to Mr Blaine on his recent trial, and all the English that do various, drunken things in front of poor Blainey, to try to cause a little havoc... well, you all suck. Go find something sensible to do, and stop wasting your lives. Yours, The Official David Blaine Society, together with over 2000 various mailing lists who now have your e-mail address.

Cheeky, or what? As its an e-mail address I use to sign up for any old rubbish, I don't really mind, but the nerve of some people! I was wondering at the sudden recent influx of pr0nographic spam, though. And what GIMP came up with that insulting simulpost message? SLAP!!!

Strange fruit
Blue Bananas] Hi and welcome.
snorgle] A gimp in a perspex box.
[Blue Bananas] Well, OK, maybe I leapt down your throat there, and sorry for that.
Records (Not LPs, EPs or such)
Is this some sort of record? Every single game has been 'activated' during the day of 15th October; amazing!
Spring, sprung and stuff
I have just come back into the workshop after hanging out the washing - what an absolutely magnificent day. The bees (not the honey-bees or bumble bees) are busy rubbing themselves gleefully against the buds of things to come on the ornamental vine which covers the pergola at the back of my house - the sun beams down like a pontiff in a trance - the birds are a'singing and sound far better than a soprano; all is well in this part of the world. Time I think for a couple of glasses of cheap white. This is one of those days (so far) when you wouldn't be dead for quids.
Chatty, again.
Mainly for Rosie - unless there are other weather freaks on this site: 23.5°C - around 45% humidity - cloud one octer (if that) - wind chill; forget it - Barometer about 1002/3. I very rarely partake of a midday meal but, today, I am sorely tempted to sit on the back balcony and just eat the day.
Well there's win and not win.
Sky - now 7 octers+, washing in, luncheon deferred. I thought you'd be really interested ... :-) ... :-(
am, am
Warm here, sky clouding over; 24 (falling) and 49% here, 1018, slight breeze, normal for about this time of year; can see some rain off in the distance (past Mt Cootha, to the north-northwest) but doubt we'll get any. [Dujon] Wotsan octer?
Octopusses
[flerdle] 1 octer = 1 eighth (of the visible sky) cloud cover; the spelling I'm not sure of - I'm not even sure if it has a correct one, though undoubtedly it does.
Slight harrumph, since we're just at the end of a day of persistent autumnal rain (incidentally, this is one definite reason why I frown upon the use of "fall" to describe the name of the season after summer, because the word "autumnal" becomes suddenly less current), but then we are six months out of phase and this is to be expected. More rain tomorrow, I understand.
... and pretty much eight octers all day, of course.
Insulting
[snorgle, re Preview+Simulpost] The message was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but seeing as you've objected I've toned it down now. Not impressed at being called a gimp in such large letters though.
less insulting?
[rab]I was just replying as per the spirit of the message! I withdraw my GIMP remark..
Fairy Nuff
Luckily you didn't point out the even more embarrassing grammatical error - which now too has been excised. Play on!
heated debate
Ooo-er! I've never seen the Preview+Simulpost message, and am unlikely to now it's been 'toned down'. Shame. I like toned up stuff.
Crowded, isn't it?
What's an octer? I like rain. It's so melancholy and atmospheric. And you can think that if it were a lot colder it would be snowing. This is my favourite time of year: summer definitely over, winter to come (with the faint but tantalising possibility of snow), blue skies with frost underfoot and golden leaves falling, and Bonfire Night coming up, with Christmas on the way. Can't be beaten!
AUTUMN
[BM] Absolutely agree! I've even been known to break out in poetry at this time of year ...
painful poetry
Ooh! Sounds nasty - is it painful?

My poetry is painful
The use of time not gainful
For the looks I get are baneful
And say that it is awful!

Fall or nothing
I too enjoy Autumn - it makes the neighbours retreat inside with their getto blaster. Horrah!
Missing "H"
Ooops!
Swan-upping and leaving
There are numerous pairs of beautiful swans gracing the rivers and tributaries that lace our city centre and for the most part, are much cherished by the community. However, it's THAT time of year now ... when the grown-up swans start 'chasing' away the teenage cygnets. I was watching them this morning. They really DO shooh them away with a " get out into that big wide world, sow a few wild oats and find yourself a decent partner-for-life!" No consideration for the lack of flight practice or incomplete plumage, which is still a bit grubby looking. Oh - those poor cygnets! They mistake roads and paths for rivers and try to land, often killing themselves in the process, but more often causing mayhem, be it within their small brain or amongst the traffic. Bless them.
Weather
What's wrong with snow? You try skiing on drizzle.
It's hard work... really!
Chalky just won a round "Animal-Vegetable-Mineral-Abstract" and I must say that it's quite tiring work holding the chair. But at least I get to do some work now. Also, I was rather hoping that Wol would win (he was so close too) as he was very sporting about the previous photo-finish
question count
Yes - it took 67 questions before the correct answer. I did warn you all, when the game was mooted, that it IS time-consuming being in the chair which makes me wonder if I can 'service' another go so soon after my last one. Especially as it appears I have to undertake yet another of those tiresome gender realignments that seem to plague my on-line existence :-)
Chalky, I beg your forgiveness, really, I do... I blame society!
Yes, I may not even enter the fray on the next round just in case I win again.
utter forgiveness
[Hux] .. please don't beg! [mind you - I had to do the same with Raak after my last victory. Anyone seen him? If he appears I might just gift him this one]. My gender realignment comment was very tongue-in-cheek - not easy to convey on screen [see my posting in AVMA].
Hilarity
I thank parents everywhere who endow their young with wacky and not normally used first names. The only pleasure I get from marking 'homework' is when I come to completing the official sheets which has such names displayed in full resplendence.
Names
So that's why young Xerxes Finbar Ibid keeps claiming the teacher is laughing at him...
naming of the parts
[Ibid] And you should take care of backwards spellings too... imagine being lumbered with Dibi Rab Nif Sex Rex... Or is it just my brain that works this way?
The onset of evil Winter
[Bm] matt's told you before about airing such perverted views in public fora. Kindly desist! *turns up heating and pretends it's sunny*
Names
[pen] Possibly. Of course, google is now going to lead some people to get some odd ideas about rab...
Jack Frost
[Projoy] You can't silence us that easily!
[penelope] My brain does that too. Every word I hear, I mentally reverse. Og ouy ereht os.
Rain and odd ideas
I like rain, and confuse my hosts whenever I'm in a warmish, dryish country (say, the South of Germany) and run outside as soon as the heavens open. [Ibid] I'm sure people have enough odd ideas about me already... and this posting won't have helped.
DRAWKCAB
[pen, BM] I remember rolling about the floor laughing when my father called Val Doonican - Nacinood Lav! I was young. It's stayed with me though and I still call Star Trek - Kert Rats. I'm also quite fluent at joined-up backwards writing [mirror writing] but I'm a calligrapher so I s'pose that's not too unusual.
sinister
The only backwards thing I can do easily is the writing - with my non-dominant left hand. I also find it easier to do if I'm writing with my right hand at the same time..
Dexterity/ytiretxed
I used to enjoy mucking around with the 'mirror' writing when I was a bit younger than I am now. Still, living in the southern hemisphere perhaps enhances the skill?
retsinis
Ah, the fun we had playing with each other's names spelled backwards... [Chalky] a calligrapher? I did calligraphy O level (an 'A', natch!). My handwriting used to be pretty spectacular but it has gone downhill ever since - I blame it one reporting on town council meetings and magistrates courts without bothering to learn shorthand.
[dominance] My right side is *so* dominant... I even find it difficult to kick a ball or take a step downstairs if I have to use my left foot first.
Although right handed, I can use a computer mouse with either hand. In fact I can use two computer mice at once on two different computers. I can write better with my right foot than my left hand though.
Handwriting
[epolenep] Yes - calligrapher, although I do lots of other stuff with lettering aswell - hotel/pub signs, blackboards [hence the Chalky moniker] although I haven't used actual chalk for years. It was the '0' level that started me off aswell - but this is the first time in my life I've 'done it for a living'. After college in London, my career was in publishing, broadly speaking. My name, backwards, is very Russian.
Left vs Right
My ex-boss was a left-handed mouser despite being a right-hander since he claimed that it was more natural to type with one's right hand.
You're supposed to type with both hands.
typing
I was going to say that!
snorgs - get back into AVMA!!
innerestin
I am reasonably ambidextrous, although my right hand has had many more years practice at writing than my left. If I draw with my left hand, it's a little slower and less steady, but the emotional content of the drawings can be quite, how to say, extraodinary. I use a mouse with my right hand at work and my left at home. No particular reason. I have no eye dominance either.
[snorgle] That's cos we're symmetrical. There's a whole area of visual and developmental therapy about that sort of thing - why it's easier to mirror actions than translate from one side of the body to the other.
[Dujon] dunno. I've never actually bothered, believe it or not.
[rab] Fascinating. I know people who must listen to the phone with their right ear, to the extent that when they have to write something down, they have to do this weird crossover thing to hold the phone there.
[typing] I'm soooo glad I learnt to touch-type in high school. It saves a lot of time.
and one other thing before I go back to marking #*@$^%& assignments...
[Chalky] Here, "Chalky" is a nickname for schoolteacher. Like Brickie for builder/builder's labourer, Sparky (electrician), Chippy (carpenter)...
He was always a backwards boy...
I can still sing a fair chunk of Waltzing Matilda backwards (I believe this originally came from a character in one of the later series of the Adventure Game)
Stuff
(Dujon) It's oktas, old son. None here for several days. Water shortage next year unless we get a soaking wet winter, at least in the SE. (flerdle) One of my teachers was nicknamed Chalky, but his name was White. We also had Pinhead. We used to recite "we call him Pinhead because he is bald and his name is Steele". Taught maths; a nice man. A mate married his daughter. (re sinisterity) I'm totally southpaw, except for mouse, scissors, toothbrush and bumwipe. RH is stronger, LH cleverer. BTW an anagram of my name is "rough stud, he". I wish. :-)
anagrams
I'm rubbish at anagrams. I either get them right away or not at all!
shibbur
[Anagrams] Ain't that the way... an anagram of my name is 'Just When I Rent It' and my father's (much to my mother's amusement) worked out to be 'Rich Tart When Rid'.
[Sinisterity] Mouse, Scissors, Toothbrush, Bumwipe?!!! *chortle* Word disociation, unless I'm mistaken!
anagrams
An anagram of my name - 'THE VODKA PANTRY' - seems I can't get away from the Russian connection. Incidentally, never touch the stuff.
[penelope] Wot! your name's not penelope?!?
My name doesn't anagram well; probably one of the best is "Razz arid nerd"
anagrams?
Most anagrams of my name look like Rambling Syd Rumpo songs...I blame the four Gs.
Here's one
"Leg ringer - glory jog"...which is a euphoric dance done after getting Shane Warne, Richie Benaud, or JLE to be on your club XI. :)
Puzzlers
Here I am trying to guess all your real names and can only conclude you're a rather bizarrely monikered bunch what with Horst de Ughu (Rosie) and Petra van Kodthy (Chalky) in our midst. Mind you, that Dexter 'Anal' Relhirdy-Bach sounds like a dubious character...
anagramattic
I can only offer Large parrot ambush...
'Daq Update
Ahnold has hit £1k/share....gaaah!
Large parrots
[GIII] Now that one is easy to decode...
Anagram names
I've never worked out an anagram of my name. But from the evidence given, I suspect the real name of "penelope" to be Justine, with Richard being her father's (surname eight letters: E,H,I,N,R,T,T,W in alphabetical order). Not sure about Chalky but she could well be a Kathryn (remaining surname letters A,D,E,O,P,T,V). Graham (surname from A,B,E,L,O,P,R,R,S,T,U, unless you've used a middle name as well) and Darren (surname, if this is to be believed, from A,D,I,R,Z,Z) may be using their real first names here. Not sure about Rosie, but s/he could be a Hugh (remaining surname letters D,E,O,R,S,T,U)...

Anybody got a good anagram for "Jonathan Ellis"?

Handedness: I'm right-handed in most things, but ambidextrous when piano-playing or trying to catch things one-handed. Can't throw or write left-handed. Feet are not so much ambidextrous as ambi-sinister (equally incompetent with both, when playing football), and I think I favour my left eye more than my right.

Real names?
Pen: I believe you are right.
Chalky: Dunno.
G3: Dunno.
Darren: Not a clue.
Rosie: He. Sorta close.
You: the best I come up with is "Johann Ale List"....
[JLE] Using ag(), the best I can get is "jail tonal hens", "Jean halts lion", "jeans halt lion", "join Hell, Satan", "hasten, join all", "jeans into hall", and "shallot in Jean".
My name has four H's and 9 vowels vs. 17 consonants so it's practically impossible to get anything.
Marks out of five?
Darren's surname seems likely to be Izzard. I can see why it's a bugger to anagram. Penelope's is trickier- all those consonants. I'm going to go for 'Whittern', as the most likely of an unlikely bunch of alternatives ('Penelope Threwtin', anyone?) Graham is indeed, I think, using a middle name. After a long blind alley in which I was convinced his surname was either Butler, I'm now going with 'Graham Paul Roberts' If Rosie is indeed named Hugh, his surname might be 'Stroude'. But from Dr Q's comment, I suspect s/he isn't. Maybe by 'sorta', Dr Q was hinting that the surname is Hugh, or more likely Hughes. But that leaves a pretty odd bunch of letters to make a first name out of- is there such a first name as 'Tudor'? Finally, I don't think Chalky's name is Kathryn, since we have the additional clue that spelt backwards it looks Russian. I therefore suggest she is that well-known Muscovite 'Yhtak Tropnevad', otherwise known as Kathy Davenport.
Proof Reading
Ahem. Either Butler or Porter. Not just 'either of these two butlers'.
granamas
Jonathan Ellis? Hmmm... how about 'Jeans Hit Noll', 'Ah Jell in Snot', 'Halt Sloe Jinn', 'All Hens Joint'or even 'Anal Hens I Jolt'? I could go on, but I won't - I'll just point you here.
I'm useless
by 'here, I meant - http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html
revealed
[Prof Plum] Smartarse. And have you Googled me too?
Well, Prof, it's not that hard to deduce my name as I already gave it away in Orange some time ago!!! My anagram software of choice is Anagram Genius which is absolutely superb. They also make Crossword Maestro which solves cryptic crossword clues. (And no, I didn't use it to solve Wol's, in case you're wondering!)
Anagrams again
I think I'll adopt "Join Hell, Satan" as my Official Anagram ;-)
[Darren] I'm flattered you thought it might be necessary! Oh, and if anyone's interested, I'm ADDIIIKLLNVW. But there's a clue somewhere in the archives.
Another way to find our real names
[Prof Plum] Try the old PantsMC Profiles.
Half a quarter
[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification - I've only ever heard the word and never read it. I was going to check but became sidetracked and then forgot. Interesting that your right hand is the stronger even though you are basically left handed. My wife and son are both a bit of each. The son writes left handedly but does many right handed movements - including eating. My wife on the other hand (sorry!) eats back to front but writes with her right hand - perhaps as a result of the inconsiderate influence of school teachers in days of yore.
Mix and Match
Incidentally, Rosie, your name could be altered to 'Hough duster' which, I suppose, would indicate that you may be a butcher's assistant?
Names
My name actually is Breadmaster. You can imagine the ribbing I got at school.
Anagrams
(Prof Plum) 5 out of 5 for your final guess. Unfortunately, a further anagram is "oh, huge turds". (The best type, in my experience). (Dr Q) Can't figure out your surname, even if I've got your first name right. Is it British-ish?
Named!
[Rosie] No, Dad's side is German.

[BM] Were you baked? :)
I win
I BET you can't guess my name. Anagram is 'I am a ferret penn'. I'll check in and see how you're getting on ;)
[Bm] Is that why your publisher insisted on "Hill" as a pseudonym?
prunings
Ian Prefenmater?
[Angus] How about "Anne-Marie Petfer" or "Ferna P. Tremaine" or "Farmer Pete Nani" or "Martin A. Penfree" or "Nate F. Repairmen"?
[Angus] Ian Peter Freman?
I think I did this before...
CMd; dCM; dMC; MdC; McD. Oh. You mean real names...
There's nothing quite like...
Hm. McD kind of suits you, CdM.
Pseudonymous writes
[Raak] That's right, the unimaginative fools.
So they called you Breadmaster Hill then?
There ought to be a prize if anyone managed to get my name out of "OUI A MANGLED WIG".
blaine
Well, Blaine's out now, so hopefully I'll make some dosh on celebdaq. I found it odd, though, that he sounded rather like Jack Nicholson after he got out! Also, I'm sure that some cockney shouted something like "You're a wanker!" in the background as he was being released.
[Lotus] Yes, but then you *do* descend from several improbably mixed nationalities ;-)
"Why, O dramatist?" (Lines that should have been written by someone else)
Who am I? Arty st d.?
S. Mith (a wry toad)?
Martha (DIY swot)?
__tim__ (a sad worthy)
Thos (am a dry wit)?
Matt (why so arid?)?
Or Watty? ("Hm" said
A Tay wordsmith,
"What a dim story.")
Out of a mangled wig
LotUS] Nice to meet you Luigi Gawedoman.
Cross-posted to MCiOS
I'd just like to report a conversation that just happened right infront of my very eyes in my office:

Scene: Manager is talking to new resource who has arrived in Paris and who had his cellphone stolen on his first day here.

Manager: So what did you think of your "welcome" to Paris?
Employee: Yes, I went walking at the weekend.
Manager: No. I mean your "welcome" to Paris.
Employee: Oh! Thank you.
Manager: Nevermind.
[JLE] Well, yes, that's true. But my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname.
[BtD] Not even close but it's a great idea for a pseudonym!
crossposted from MCiOS
[Chalky] You know you were asking whether we had a make-up artist. Well, we still don't and only just over a week to go, so if you have any leads now's the time to mention them. :-)
I saw some Sinhalese writing a while back, it had a really lovely look, all circles and spirals. That observation isn't really relevant to anything, it's just LotUS's comment reminded me of it.
Sinning
Yes it is very beautiful - learn about it here.
ISIHaC - been there, done that
[Tuj, BtD & anyone else who's interested] We had a truly splendid time at the Theatre Royal Winchester last night. I won't spoil anything by talking about either the guest or the content - [the shows go out on the 17 & 24 Nov as the first two of the series] - but I'll be interested to hear how they edit at least 2 and a half hours of quality stuff into neat half hour slots. It's a small theatre - perfect for comedy. On several occasions the tears really were rolling down my cheeks. Humph was magnificent [doesn't he work hard?] and we even managed to 'mingle with the stars' after the recording.
[Tuj] re. your comments in AVMA - I managed to get tickets because penelope, back in the summer, on receipt of the BBC4 online newsletter [or suchlike], posted in MCiOS the 3 venues and dates for this series. I'm only half an hour's drive from Winchester so I rang the theatre - all tickets were sold within 2 hrs. We were lucky.
ISIHAC
So unfair... My partner saw it live ten years ago, so my chances of going to see it are slim I feel. Back to the anagrams, would it help you to guess if I told you I'm not male?
Cinderella Hawk Beam
You can get some quite rude anagrams from my real name.
A top dative MS jinx
Michael!?
Hello hello hello, what's all this, then?
[Angus Prune] Do you have a long surname?
Ms? Prune
Angus] Marie Fen-Patern?
Evenin' all
Sorry Boolbar X-posted.
Names...
Got it. Boolbar is Native American - Michael Elk Bear Dawn.
ISIHAC
[Chalky] Having seen it in Bournemouth (Pavilion Theatre, Mon 30th Oct, 2000, 7:30pm, as my treasured ticket tells me - and Sandi Toksvig laughter rings in my ears yet) not too long ago, my memory should have recalled you need to be pretty sharp to get'em. Never mind.
anagrams
and so is no-one going to identify my earlier anagrammatical impersonation?
Projoy?
anagrammatical impersonator
All anagrams of Timothy Saward - damned clever :-)
anagrammaticaphylactic shock
[Cdm] that is so clever
Request
Projoy - could you email me? (crossposted from Orange, for which I apologise)
*blush*
[CdM] And what's more, I puzzled over them for ages yesterday. I'm also completely rubbish at Countdown too. [Dunx] Email received and replied to.
How?
[Ibid] So close!
Michael Andrew Blake
...meet David Willink.
[MF] Correcto! - just the wrong order
grama nams
CdM] That was brilliant.
Boolbar] Nice to meet you Blake Micheal Andrew.
Random Horrid Wreckage
...is my favourite anagram of my (full) real name.
Pretty please.
Could I just repeat my request for the monthly music supplement that came in last Sundays Observer? *waves money*
[FG] Mick God-Adorer H. Warren? Sounds like a tele-evangelist. :o)
An anagram of my full real name....
...would be longish. I wonder if I can come up with one.
[FG] Ow! Order keg, mr Arachnid!
Observer Music
[Boolbar] I think I can get a copy from a friend this evening. Where do I send it again?
stuff at boolbar plop vispa plop com
[Chalky] Ooooh! That would be splendid! email above. expenses paid etc.
E-mail
[Boolbar] Am wondering if I translated your email address correctly. If so, there should be one waiting for you.
spam spam spam spam
[Chalky] Yes, you are nestling between the nice African chappy who wants to share his fortune with me and the breast enlargement emails.
Anagrams
I'm feeling kinda jealous of all the people with glib anagrams, like Fat German.
Ana-kilo-gram
[Néa] The short form of your name yields "Lager liken manna"...whatever that means. I'm currently feeding your full name (assuming it really *is* what you put on your webpage :) into my anagram generator...which is unfortunately on a SparcClassic 50MHz box....
back in my day muttermuttermutter
Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen, that's what I say. .. :-)
Ana-mega-gram
[CdM] You try her name with paper/pen then!

[Néa] I can get the word "Goddess" out of it, which should shorten it up a bit. :D
Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar.
Oh, by the way, an anagram of "Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen" is "Damnable, general-purpose gonorrhea contaminates Andy-Pandy."
deary me
Yikes! I get all caught up and don't visit for a couple of days, and look what happens! This is all a bit too tiring to think about at the moment.

Oh, and no more spiders for the time being.

Even more anagrams
flerdle = "Censored pearl". :)
You've all gone really strange
Hmmmmmm.
very well then, Dr Q,...
Here is a list of things that Nea likes.

Start:
JRR Tolkien
Tea
Miranda
Mets
Language
End.

(OK, I might have lied about one of them...)
Here's some anagrams of Néa's full name (assuming the one on the site is real), taking the é as an e.
"Maladjusted, tiger-like, stagnant, rare ornament."
"Jauntier, darkened, meatiest, gallant strong-arm."
"Radiant man-eater strangulating molested jerk."
"A daunting tearjerker demonstrates I'm gallant."
"Maladjusted Terminator enraging rattlesnake."
"Rattling junk arrangement misleads toad-eater."
"Alert sugarlike madman and ignorant jet-setter."
"Major rattling as gentleman streaked, urinated." shame she's not a man in this case!
"Talented alarmist and jauntier strong-arm geek."
"I am a daring, non-judgemental streaker. Let start!"
"Strong, dreamlike talent and jauntier megastar."
"Transmitted ranking as talented major-leaguer."
"I am, ranking adjustments, a grander teetotaller."
I could go on with these!
Actually..
Hope those don't annoy Néa too much. Sorry if they do, but that's what the program came up with (along with several thousand others).
aaaaarrrrggghhhhhh
[DrQ] I think i prefer "ponder cereals"
Red Fell
Close panderer?
Red Fell
Or a spec lender? (Red spec loaner)
Spread clorene?
One disadvantage ef anagram programs is that they will tend to come up with real words.

What do you mean, "That's the point"? Harrumph.

Patch cocky, bent grammar
[Darren] Do you know what it is ? Is it a name ?
Annoyed??
I'm flattered! (Not to mention rolling around laughing.)
Managra
I have found out that my name works out as: Lanky Baron Bronchitis!
[Boolbar] Yeah, I know what it is. I made it. No, it's not a name (well, not in the conventional sense).
However
Sorry, Darren, but I'm more impressed with CdM's list - I don't think he used any anagram software to extract "JRR Tolkien" from my name ;-) (and who says I don't like the Mets? I'm a basketball aficionado, I am!)
anagrams
[Boolbar] Apologies for late reply - no I do not have a long surname - both names are 7 letters long
[AP] Surname = Freeman?
Crossposted from everywhere, but the last time, I promise
A final plug for Dracula - The Vampire Strikes Back - on at a theatre probably not too near you next week (Fri night already sold out!), and written by Thos and myself, and achieved with assorted much-appreciated support from the talented Martha, Dunx, gil, Chalky, Darren, matt, Lib and blamelewis (I think that's everyone).
Boolbar
Yes. 1st prize witheld till you get the first name though.
wild guess
Petela?
that's only got six though. hmmm
aaah
I see, forgot the last n.
left field
Pantele would be sufficiently obscure. If you were sort of Greek.
Anagrams
A bit of effort on my own (full) name yielded:Phronje nebricist, hish rahm mupe.
Or the more realistic, if odd: Screen obit.: Humph Jr. in Hampshire
Garbology
[Tuj] Christopher Benjamin Humphrie (or some combination thereof) perhaps?
No, I think Tuj must be his initials. Now, the T is obviously Thomas, which is straightforward enough. The U is trickier -- a google search for "first name beginning with U" reveals Uffe as the only possibility; I must assume that he spells it Uphphe, though. And then the last name falls into place easily. You stand exposed ... Thomas Uphphe Jirribschreinnem!
10 points to Dujon
First 2 the wrong way round, and the surname missing an S at the end (think that's my fault), but right nonetheless. Until I go and change it to what CdM suggetsted, of course.
mane
My name's an anagram of "I'm tired" [CdM] LOL
mealweblis
Sounds better than "dim rite", anyway :-)
Oh, huge turds
(flerdle) Tim Reid? Gotta be!
anagrams
My full name is -- I bent cute lean ice frogs.
flerdle
Don't have an l in my name. In alphabetical order, first name is aeinprt.
more results
And there has been another change to the top of the celebrity league, well really what I mean is its snorgle .... again!!!! A majestic run allegedly started in August and interrupted breifly just three times .
Angus
I have NO idea where I got that from. Ah well.
celebdaq
Mwoohahaha! I have downtraded to just under 1 million, so fingers crossed for next week - let's see.. I wonder if it's too early for another Keanu binge?
[AP] Ah ... you must be a Petrina then. Please say you don't live anywhere near Salisbury, Wiltshire. I have knowledge of a Petrina in this area who's a bit erm ..

[snorgs] Well done gal. Perhaps you can tell me - WHY OH WHY when for the first time, I put my ten grand on a Royal thinking he's going to get shedloads of column cms because of What The Butler Did - his chuffin' share price goes down?

'daq
[snorgle] I'm set up for a Wayne Rooney payoff myself, but I haven't heard about his 18th birthday blow-out yet.
chalky
I'm constantly expanding my knowledge of Petrinas. There's very few of us around. I know of just two others - plus that one in Salisbury. Can you define 'a bit erm..'? I don't know what you mean. I'm not her though!
anagrams
Names, from first to last: 7, 6, y.
anagrams
I mean 7, 6, 8
rarity?
There was a girl at school a year after me called Petrina Green. This was not a large school, either. I see nothing unusual in the name.
Petrina?
I've never seen that name before it was mentioned here.
aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw
Clues: Three 'given' names - all common - and one 'family' name. Origin of family name, N.W. England (and, surprisingly quite a few in Ireland.) No I am not a 'scouse' and the family name does not begin with O'. Them as have seen my real name are constrained from posting; it'd hardly be fair! I must admit that I've never attempted an anagram of my names, so it will be interesting to see what appears on this page.
Memories....
I knew a Petrina who was at secondary school with me in Somerset, I think she moved to Yeovil - poor thing.
Tina the Ice Frog
Is your first name Rebecca? I can also get Tina from your letters but 7,6,8 won't allow it. I have a feeling I'm overlooking something obvious...
no c's
No Rebecca here. And Tina can be a nickname. In fact is.
Not a Becca
Hmm. Am I barking up the wrong tree assuming that you are Female?
Petrinas
[Huxley] Did she look like a witch?
[Angus] Definition of 'a bit erm ...' see above :-)
Qualifying street
Chalky] Do you mean 'a bit erm' in the assumption of gender sense or do you mean that I am 'a bit erm' too?
Tina] - I'd better qualify that 'cos you've said your nick-name is Tina...
Nicknames can be very deceptive. I knew a Fairy (male), a Pinny (male), a Pog (female) and a Beardy (female). I am male and was (boringly) hailed by surname.
Chalky] Oops. You meant she looked like a ...
What a dickhead I am :o)
Genderbiased
Bob]Yes, female, today anyway.
Chalky
[Huxley]Yes she did. At the time, her last name began with an "H" and ended with an "R".
chuckling at Bob
[Bob] Ah! So you don't look like a witch, eh? More like a dic.....
Lost
I could be wrong but it appears we haven't worked out the following

DrQu+xum - "Leg ringer - glory jog"
Wol - "ADDIIIKLLNVW"
LotUS - "OUI A MANGLED WIG" (my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname)
Fat German - "Random Horrid Wreckage"
Uncle Korky - "Lanky Baron Bronchitis"
Tina - "I bent cute lean ice frogs" (7,6,8)
and Dujon's recent "aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw" above.
Also Darren asked "Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar".
So no work for me today then.
[DrQ] Gregory?

Or "A top dative MS jinx"
Uncle K
Tranbon? Bontran?
Wol
David Winkill?
The Gettin' Aquainted Game
Blimey - at this rate we'll all be on first 'real' name terms pretty soon. Having done the birthdays/starsigns, I wonder what's next on the disclosure list? I have to say, though, it's rab I feel the most sympathy for - having to go through life with the surname Angrycake.
Huxley's Somerset Petrina
sorrysorrysorry multipost
I don't think it's the same one, Hux. Phew! The one here in Salisbury, apart from resembling a she-bat, was once extremely and unnecessarily rude to my mother, which I suppose somewhat colours my opinion of her.
Here we go
[Boolbar] Yup, but I usually go by my surname...and the J is just my middle initial.
[Btd] Winkill? That sounds like a wonderful suggestion. :)
[Duj] And all this time I thought VK2IUI was your name!
Anagrams
My dear old mum is 92 today - alive and well. Anyone like to have a go at the wonderful anagram of her maiden name - "Golden Manure". Two Welsh names.
Yes,but...
Willink sounds more likely, as I mentioned earlier.
[Rosie] Megan Lounder?
Du what jon?
Dujon] Ah ha! Do I have the pleasure of the company of Dr John Vollowbangs?
mum's the word
[Rosie] My grannie turns 94 in a couple of weeks. Her maiden name was rather odd/unusual, and comes out as "Shock Fido: beep!"
...or should that be ORKNEY LUCK...?
[Martha] I have to confess that I have an unconventional middle name (which was, in fact, my late mother's maiden name)...
Branton?
AABEEHHILMOTTSZ
Feeling the need to join in, although can't create a witty anagram so you just get the letters. (9,6)
Tricky these German names, eh, Tobias Hählmetz?
A ham Bizet hostel - Elizabeth Thomas
Lib
The Omaha Blitzes
Atomize hash belt
The Zambia hotels
And one that was *almost* interesting: Hot Blithe amazes.... :)
Re: Lib
"Blaze hot, his team!"
Lifting the disguise
[BtD] Very good! You've discovered that it indeed is Elizabeth Thomas in the drawing room with the lead piping!
Wiry Naked Anarch
Chuckling
[Btd] Nice one! At least the 'John' is right. ... :-)
Grow a penis
Not an insult or personal attack on any of you, but rather a classic American political anagram.
[DrQ, re your last] Omg.
Bang to rights.
[Martha] Got it in one!
flerdle's grandma
"coke-fed bishop".
Daq daq daq
As the league seems to be diminishing, I can offer my 3rd & 4th personas to fill any vacant places...
Concerning Tom's rent
I'm hopeless at anagrams. Plus, I think everyone knows my name - but just in case you don't, I will cheat..(and use one of those internet anagram thingies) Bam Sally on chin
Red carpet
Uncle Korky] I'd be willing to add your other accounts to the league, my greatest fear would be if snorgle opened a second or third with different potfolios. I have considered opening a third as a holding account with a couple of blue chip stock, then wait for a news story (which could take weeks). That way it can be put to one side bobbing around the bottom, just to be opened on fridays to check the divis. Its a different stategy I haven't tried yet. Anyone else?.
Post your id when your ready.
celebdaq
Don't worry! I can't be bothered to open up any others - this one seems to be going just fine. I don't know why I do so well, I just sink all my money into one or two of the most popular shares that I think will be in the papers a lot, and it seems to work. I also read the forums as they tend to name the popular ones - that was why last week I was 50/50 on Blaine and Tweedy.
Winkill
[Btd] I like it! - but MF was spot on. [Dujon] David Andrew John Blooghs? (One of the famous Blooghs brothers ...) - the capital I was cunning.
snorgle
Haven't figured out your name, but your letters come up with another anagram so incredibly wrong, I'm posting in white letters and already getting my coat. my balls on a chin
Stuff
(snorgle) Allison (or Alison) unusual-or-non-British-surname? (Martha Farquar) Mum's maiden name was Eluned Morgan. (Dr Q) Gregory J. Gollinger?
if you can't beat them.
well I have been looking at you lot and decided I would see what happeend with my name (christian/family)......I quite liked the following :-
Shrill Pit Probe.
Rebirth Psi Poll.
Bellhop Trip Sir ?
Brothels Rip Lip.
Brie Thrills Pop !
Hill Tribe Props.
Pre-British Poll.
Lo! Birth Ripples !
Both Reps Ill: RIP.
....or Help Lib Strip?
Poll B : I strip her.
ventriloquist Q?
[Dr Q] Gottle of Gollinger? :oD
Foo!
[Rosie] You should've known that already -- you've gotten e-mails from me before :P My great-grandmother's family were Morgans as well. Her whole dad's side came over circa 1870 and mined throughout Western Pennsylvania.
[pen] I'll have you know my dad is an amateur winemaker.... I'd send you some but I wager such stuff would not be exactly legal for export.
[St Dogmael] Is your name by any chance Robert Phillips? Or Philip R. Lobster? ;-)
nanny grams
[Rosie]Unusual given name (ie not english). [DrQ] :D
spot on !
JLE] Indeed it is. My sister is called Helen Lobster.
World of Petrinas
It is strange that everyone else's knowledge of the name is of someone who is a complete cow, or mental case! I hope I don't fit into that category...[goes off to worry in a corner] Just for the record, I've never lived in Salisbury or Yeovil or indeed anywhere in Somerset.
I'm always impressed by how dull anagrams of my name tend to be - I know I'd be pretty unhappy with seeing my name on a Scrabble rack.
Pert Deer Rang
That should take you a couple on minutes to decipher.
After a couple of minutes...
Peter Gardner, I presume?
Capital
[Wol] Sorry about the capital 'i', my error; at least being in alphabetical order must have helped. David is correct, so one given and the family name now required.
It appears I'm back.
Oy!
[Angus Prune] I said nothing of the sort!
Name appreciation
It's funny how one's reaction to a name can be coloured by the looks and personality of those one has met who carry such. To be honest my input to the naming of our daughter was certainly influenced by that aspect - damned if I know why as I am usually reasonably pragmatic (I think.) However, I did do my two children a disservice - although totally unintentionally - when they turned out to be Peter & Wendy ... some parents should be drawn and quartered!
One additional thing to think about, if you desire to avoid pain and suffering to your progeny: try to avoid using a vowel as the first letter of a middle name. Always look at what the initials spell. No joking.
Self-defence
(Dr Q) All I knew from your emails is that you were "Greg". The rest is informed guesswork. (Dujon) 3 given names, eh? As I know the answer I must shut up. (St Dogmael) Proper shit, Bill. Er, sorry.
Correctness
You are so right, flerdle. Together with my wife I attempted to make sure that there were no 'hidden' embarrassments. At the last minute (were we not stupid!) my daughter's second given name became Katherine. [Rosie] Given that you know my family name, I'm assuming that you have worked out (not too hard) the 'missing' one? Anyhoooo, schtum; it should not be too hard for the others.
middling
I don't have a middle name... none of my sisters do, neither did my father, and it was because my grandfather hated his that the tradition began. I sometimes thought that was why we were given rather more exotic first names than the norm (at the time we were born).
Parental naming.
If a different sperm gained victory, I would be called Elizabeth. As it was I narrowly avoided being Ashley (horrah!)
Increasing schizophrenia
[Inkspot] My other accounts are:
Mavic_Chen (3402569) &
Johnny_McDozenlegs (3411069).
proper shit, bill!
rosie] that's the best yet ! I must say I would have quite liked the initials RIP. :o) As it is I am RDP, which I also quite like I suppose, especially as it appears to be written at the edges of Fuji 120 roll film (RDP III) so I claim it ALL as my own. Apparently I was named after an Argentinian Golfer (Roberto di Vicenza)
Stuff
(St Dog) I didn't use an anagram-finder; it's just my filthy mind. If I had one of those dismal personalised car reg's the prime one for me would, I suppose, be 1TCH. My middle name is even more unusual and Welsh than my first name, and maybe unique at the present time, though you can find it on a map. No clues.
...and I claim my £5!
[Rosie] Tudor Clwyd Hughes?
'Y' reg - why Reg?
I was amused by a van in front of me with rearranged reg. M3 0W MY and disappointed in a car owner who missed the opportunity to rearrange A 12 SED.
wordage
Saw a sign outside a hairdresser's yesterday - 'Due to short staff, we will close at 4.30 today'. Also one in Ann Summers fitting room 'Please ask for assistance before entering' - had to share with the MC community! [flerdle]Which bit in particular?
Personal Plates
[Rosie] Well, I've tried to keep my personalised plates fairly simple - when I had an Audi A3 in Britain, I bought the plate "A3 DNX" (I saw at least one other A3 owner who had bought an "A3" plate too, so it wasn't just me). My TT here in Oregon has the plate "TT DNX" to maintain the tradition.

I saw quite an amusing one the other day... Oregon allows you to put pretty much any combination of six characters on your plate, with spacing of your choice. Usually the characters are centred, but someone had thought to put spaces in front of their word and: "  ASKEW"

Well, I liked it.

trying to remember...
[Angus Prune] The one I know is nice, not a weirdo.
Angus] I know a nice one too. Odd how experiences of names colour expectations. I always expect anyone called Tom to be fat. Josephines are manic and Phils are exceptionally hairy. I am a James...
That's interesting -- I've always remarked on the fact that everyone I've met named Brad has been a complete dickhead. Apologies to any Brads reading this...
Being hammered.
Bloody Hell!
It's bad enough being nailed down from time-to-time without being pilloried. (S'OK, Riff - only joking.)
Names
(Uncle K) Good guess! But wrong. Carry on. (B the D) To me, Josphines are...well...luscious, as are Sophies. (Dunx) Nice to see a bit of wit on a car plate. Don't get much of it over here. (All) Unfortunately, names can be a dead giveaway of social class and age though there are agreeable and surprising exceptions. I'd think I'd better stop there.
I'm possible
[Rosie] Surely not 'Cardiff'? That would be unique!
Brads and Sophies and Jims - oh my!
Sophies are a bit thick in my experience. My only experience of a Brad was from Neighbours years ago, and James is my father - nuff said! Sarahs and Jennies will always be the school bullies and Carol the friendly Brownie Guide leader!
Carols and Vals
I think I had a Brownie Leader called Val and a Guide Leader called Carol. Helens were in charge of the school playgound, Rebeccas were always lovely, Richards were always mean to me when I was 11 and Marks were good at football.
Just in case
Never trust a Richard, that's what I say...
If you think I've been unfair on Toms and Jos...
Angus] I shall have to start wearing cardigans with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe, reading the Sunday Times and asking the terrier to bring me my burgundy slippers then ;o)
Tracys are treacherous, Janets are kind, Lucys are imaginative, Peters are usually elderly, Johns are traditional and go to Church and/or have high moral fibre, Gareths are wily psychopaths, Steves are tough on the outside (but are marshmallow inside), Elizabeths are erotic, Julians are skinny, Joans are demanding and Mikes are obsessive and keep Pugs.
wading in ...
OK - may as well join the name-fest. All opinions grossly coloured by personal experience, naturally...
Ben's are brooding and charismatic; Paul's are sexy; Tim's are cute and need mothering; John's are very much as Bob has described [ = stuffy and a tad pompous], Mike's are alcoholics and every Andy I've known has been 'a bit of a geezer'. Oh yes - Charlie's are unfailingly popular, good company and amusing.
More prejudice
May as well 'do' some girls to even up the score. Kates are jolly and outgoing, whereas Catherines (and their various misspelt namesakes) are more reserved but usually a good egg. Jennys tend to be quiet and a bit secretive, Lucys prim and proper on the outside but probably quite wild inside whilst Sarahs are uptight and very image-conscious. Meanwhile I'm afraid that nearly every Laura I've ever met has been dull, dull, dull...
Back to Rosie's middle name
Colwyn? Conwy? Carnmarthen? Caernarfon? Caerphilly? Caldicot? Crickhowell? Chepstow? Criccieth? Clynnog? Ceredigion? Cwmdu? Cadair-Idris? Cambrian Mountains (The)?
girls
I never met a Claire that I didn't like so far. Also I seem to have a lot of Helen variants in my life at the moment [Sister Helen. flatmate Helena, good friend Hélène] and they are also all lovely. Tom's are usually very nice chaps though clumsy. Justines normally work in PR for Renault, and have very corny senses of humour.
Rosie] It's Carn-Ingli isn't it ?
indignant
rab] Misspelt? Misspelt? I'll have you know that the 'K' version of my name is just as traditional. Having said that, my particular spelling is unashamedly American - something to do with my father having the hots for the film star, Kathryn Grayson [so my mother tells me].
It's taken 2 simulposts to get this posting on to the screen ... must be busy 'out there'.
Simulposts
Simulposts part deux
Sorry Chalky, one of those would have been me misspelling Carmarthen.
simulsimulsimulposts
No apology necessary, Bigsmith. It's every man/woman for themselves. BTW - nice to see you :-)
stereo-typing similposts
rab] (yes!) I have to agree on the Laura front. Elaines are tall and broad (matronly), Joys are fey, Claires are outgoing and charismatic, Zoes are irresistible to all men and pretend they don't know it, Megans go to Cambridge Uni and get firsts, Felicitys are faithful and "enthusiastic”, Susans are calm and smart, Sandras are good at drawing dogs, Joannes are maternal, Julies work in travel agencies and K©atherines work so hard it makes an 82 hour week seem like a holiday in the Maldives.

On the bloke front, Daves, Petes, Donalds, Kevins, Rogers, Phils, Zebedees, Jamess etc are intimidated by Elaines, charmed by Joys, befriended by Claires, teased by Zoes, put in their place by Megans, married to Felicitys, sorted out by Susans, uncomfortable with Sandras, comfortable with Joannes, itemised by Julies and reprimanded by K©atherines for making such sweeping generalisations about female personalities.
First Ladies
I find it is the first letter that counts. I generally find that women with names beginning with J or K to be great all-rounders. E's are usually friendly and have a thing about Cliff Richard. A's are aggresive. B's are lacking in the brain department. M's and R's are beautiful but with problems. T's make for good wives. W's are off with the fairies. Z's are good at putting men down with lightning wit. C's tend to hide away and N's would be good at running the country.
My middle name
(Bigsmith, Duj, St D) None of the above. You may need a larger-scale map. Also it's the name (or pen-name) of a long-dead Welsh poet. Definitely not Chirk, which may just resonate with ex-Pants members, or, thank God, Cwmbran.
[CK]ath[ea]?r[iy]ne?s
(...for those who understand Perl regexps...)

[Chalky] Tongue-in-cheek, of course. The spelling doesn't really matter, but there is definitely a distinction between Kates, Katies and the above...

[BtD] Have to agree with you on almost all of those. I would also lump Jo(h)annas in with your Joannes... Also is it just me, but girls with hyphenated names can be a bit wet, possibly deriving from an indecision on the part of their parents.

[rab] :-) I get called Katy quite a lot by certain friends - must be when I'm being jolly. But usually I'm Kathryn to my mother, and Kathy to everyone else. The only name I object to is Kath - which always sounds like the cleaning lady. Anyway - enough of me ...
[Rosie] Do we know how many letters there are in your mysterious, geographical, extremely rare, begins with C middle name?
first letters..
What about S? (My real first name starts with S too..)
Sssss
[snorgle] S's usually wear woolly jumpers in the summer and laugh a lot.
continued exposure
[snorgle] Bam Sally On Chin? Did anyone get your anagram? If not - what's the letter split, I'll try and guess it.
Bool] What about J's?
[BtD] See above for female J's. I don't find it works for males.
i do not wear woolly jumpers in the summer!
chalky - 7 and 7..
My middle name that no-one knows
(Chalky) There are seven. People in Wales would know it. About 15 years ago I had a nasty car smash (not my fault, for once) in Croydon, Whitehorse Road. The police had to be called because the car was blocking the road and the copper who took my name was Welsh. He pronounced my middle name better than I did. Very embarassing, because my own speech, while mostly RP, has a good dash of saaf London in it. (snorgle) Surname Binchly? First name - I wouldn't be so bold. (Chalky, again) A friend has a daughter Kathryn (b. 1972) who now wishes to be called Kay. There's a main street in Croydon called Katharine Street, but the interesting thing is that locals, including me, always pronounce the last syllable to rhyme with "wine", "dine", "line" etc. There you go, as Melvyn Bragg would say.
Miss Pronunctiation
[Rosie] "ine" as in "wine"? Not a bad idea, I suppose, but my daughter's middle name rhymes with 'in', 'bin', 'sin' - which, in retrospect, was probably the correct thing to do. ... ;-) On your middle name, I shall drag out the atlas and have a hunt.
[snorgle] I am 'stumped' at the moment ... possibly my grey matter playing up ... Is your first name one which you would consider as common or is it rather unusual (as per Rosie's middle title)?
Bum
Off to Leeds for the day, so I'll probably have to bow out of the current round of AVMA guessage. Oh well... also slightly hungover after a complicated situation involving two bad pubs, three bottles of wine, a colleague of my nearest and dearest and my housemate...
Welsh poets
Rosie> Would it be Ceiriog, from John Ceiriog Hughes (1832-1887)? The surname led me to it. Also a small forest near Wrexham. If this isn't right then I'm afraid I for one will need another clue as I'm otherwise stumped. Chalky> Nice to be back ;-)
naming of names
snorgle] Sybilla?.
Rosie] By jove - I think B'Smiths got it!
Re. the 'wine' at the end of Katherine - 'tis heard in many a Shakespearean romp - enables the acTORRRR to en-UN-ciate and prrro-JECT the name in the finest tradition of Luvvie Deliverrreh [think Brian Blessed in The Taming of the Shrew].
Sybilla? Binchley? :D
My first name isn't in english, to be fair. My surname starts with 3 consonants, but isn't foreign.
snorgle's name
Oh, is it "Tchea-Fruit" like in Neopets?
Snorgling
Siobhan?
Neopets?
Darren, all those drugs are bad for you. You should stop taking them now. ooh simulpost! That's right Bob the Dog! My surname goes well with it too...
making up new names . . . .
simulposted twice ! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?
And I now see that BtD got there first . . . .
Stuff
(Bigsmith) Congratulations. That's me. Not sure about the forest you mention, but there's a river and village with the name. See http://www.chirk.com/ceiriog.html My Dad was from Glynceiriog. Bit of a writer himself. (Chalky) Never thought of it that way, the streets of Croydon not being awash with thespians. Another example could be Gilbert and Sullivan's "conservatives", rhyming with "knives". (snorgle) Would one of those three consonants be a "y"? Hmm...I'll have to have a think.
Little McNally?
Bool - great minds etc. - simulposted 4 times!. My message was to be
"simulposted! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?"
Uncanny McNally
Gimmie pie
I have just been offered some pumpkin pie, fresh from the oven and made with our own eggs and pumpkins. Wow it is good! Anyone else for a slice? snorgle] Are we right?
I'll shut up soon
Siobhan - is this you?
namesakes
Yep - you're all right. Except for Rosie. [Bob the dog] No, although I've seen that before! Apparently my namesake works for the Sunday Mirror.. there's also a Queen of the Universe!
Ceiriog Valley
(Rosie) Checked out the website - I've been thereabouts, many years ago on a canal boat holiday on the Llangollen. I was therefore most interested in the page about the aquaducts. Just the ticket for a boring Friday afternoon in the office - thanks old chap!!
I Want Pie
[Btd] My first Thanksgiving two years ago when I met my now brother-in-law for the the first time was memorable mainly for his reaction to the news that I Had never had pumpkin pie, and yet it's barely known outside the US. Very strange.

Actually, I tell a lie - a Bulgarian colleague was telling me that there is a Bulgarian pumpkin pie, but it is more akin to baclava with pumpkin layered between the pastry.

Laid, Unsprayed and Made in England
Dunx] This is a UK pie to a US recipe. Best I've had.
Pie! Pie! Pie!
Bob the Dog] E-mail me some pie as an attachment. In addition to the pie, we have the wonderful mashed potatoes with lots of gravy, cole slaw with a hint of horseradish, sometimes sweetpotatoes, cranberry jelly on rolls with butter, and creamed onions (small white onions in a cream sauce with celery seed as the primary flavoring). And of course, there's the turkey. I like the crisp skin the best.
stop it!
You're making my mouth water - I'm having Tuna Steak tonight. And I want to have a bash at making a chowder. Has anyone got any recipes for chowders other than the clam variety because a) I don't like seafood and 2) Tesco's don't have clams.
Yummyons
Tina] Please send recipe for creamed onions - it is a dish we don't do here!
surreal spamming
My most recent wierd spam subject was Re:Handbags of antelopes. Whaaa?
Bob Yummyons
Will do, but it will take a couple of sessions. My family is very possessive of its recipes.
surreal spam
(snorgle) HANDBAAAGS? (© Dame Judy Dench). Did you read the spam?
spamspamspam
It was something about mortgages, apparently. Hotmail blocks linked images from appearing for privacy, so I missed out on some no doubt vital and personally useful information, but there you go. The ones I hate are the sneaky subjects like re:report, or I'm sorry I offended you. But surreal ones are at least vaguely amusing..
Creamed Onions for Bob the Dog
Just got this note from my sister in Albuquerque. "use small, not tiny, white onions. Boil them until tender. Drain and add a tiny bit of flour mixed in some milk, then some cream, salt, pepper and butter. I don't have any meaurements. I also add some parsley or finely sliced scallions. I often add a piece of garlic when boiling." As to the garlic and scallions, my mother never did that. For the salt, she used celery salt.
more drum roll
There has been a change at the top at Celebrity MC congratulations to Chalky in going to No1 just two weeks after being kneecapped.
Inkspot's previous
PANIC! Thanks for your report; However, unlike Chalky I'm panicking. Just changed horses for the bolt to the line; am I going to fall over into the 2-million (grab two green wads and convert them to a flashy car) or am I going to be robbed of my £950,000 and fall back into the arms of the following wolves? My heart is racing, my brow is perspiring and, frankly m'dear I couldn't give a damn. Err, well I do, really, after the extraordinary effort of the last week should I make the new podume I shall have a 'big think' about why I'm doing this. Stupid game... rigged... the ref's are biased... and so on - I WANT A FLASH CAR. ........ Sulks.
Tina
Thank you! I will try this - although being a bloke I tend to rely on measurements for my cooking. I probably start with a white sauce recipe - and I'll have to get some celery salt.
celebdaq
I'm just 200 000 short myself of the magic 2 million mark - pleasepleaseplease let there be a run on Paul and Heather McCartney! I won't get a flashy car (already got one!) but I hate just being short by such a small amount. If I can get 2 wads of cash, I only need 1 more for a flashy yacht! I can go sailing in the Mediterranean then.. :)
Idioms
Need everyone's help. My sister, in America, wants to know what it means to have to paint the "fourth bridge." Can someone help?
I think it refers to the Forth Bridge, which, it is said, takes so long to paint that, once the painters have done a complete coat, it's time to begin repainting it again, so the job never ends.
eep!
Indeed. Unfortunately, to save money, they stopped painting it regularly, and huge rusty chunks started falling off it, particularly onto North Queensferry. (My dad lives near there and I've seen it myself). I try not to think of the massive bolts on the ground when crossing on the train..
thanks
Thanks for the answers.
celebdaq
Curses! Only 1 wad of cash, I must have just missed it..
wads
snorgle]your not alone with your wad. Come on board my luxury yacht just off Crete, and I'll break out another Bolly:)
Handbags of antelopes
Could spam create another game? With game moves being titles of spam in your mailbox?
Measurements for Cooking
I like to know how much of everything as well - but I still throw things into the oven at whatever temperature I think is best and cook until not quite black.
3oz ketchup
Bool] I'm jealous! My other half has that talent - the Jackson Pollock school of cookery. She can throws it all in and it becomes a feast.
Sponge
[BtD] I remember her cake - very tasty.
Cooking temperatures
(Boolbar) So may I say "well done"? The term used in the chemical industry is "pyrolyse". :-)
it's too hot, baby
In creative cookery, and when taken to extremes, ain't that 'Cajun style'?
Bad luck, snorgle. You have my condolences - it happened to me once. I was lucky with my selection and managed the new car. Ah well, back to the grindstone - now I have to pay its running costs.
cross posting - terribly sorry
DearI’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue listener, ThisThis is to bring you advance knowledge of a special Christmas show, entitled I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Christmas Carol, which will be recorded on Thursday 18th December at the Logan Hall, University of London, 20 Bedford Way, London WC1H 0AL.It is something of a change from the usual format, in that there will be no desks… Instead, the programme’s regulars will be telling the story of miserable Ebenezer Scrumph and his put-upon assistant Crotchet, with appearances from the ghosts of Christmases Future, Present and Pissed. No prizes for guessing who plays what here. They will be supported by a cast of regular guests of the programme, including Jeremy Hardy, Sandi Toksvig, Tony Hawks, Andy Hamilton and Linda Smith with Stephen Fry as the narrator. Tickets are £7.50 each, and will go on sale from 9a.m. tomorrow (Tuesday 4th November). They are being sold by a ticketing company called Warnes, and can be purchased over by phone with a credit card by calling 020 8545 2737 between 9a.m. – 5p.m. Monday to Friday. Please note that the sum debited will appear on your statement as Warnes Mail Marketing Ltd, and that they don’t take American Express. Alternatively you can apply for tickets by emailing LindaR@warnes.co.uk Reservations by e-mail should contain your name, your card details, your address, the quantity of tickets required and a telephone number in case of a problem with the card. If you prefer, you can send the first part of the credit card number in one e-mail, followed by the second part and expiry date in a second. N.B. When using a 'Switch' Card, you must quote the "Commencement Date, Expiry Date and Issue Number" if there is an issue number. That is all :o)
ISIHACC
Bugger - that's the works' Christmas Party night.
[Bigsmith] Work Schmirk!
[penelope] Party Hearty!!
Pen/Bigs] Babysitter Scmabyitter.
Foo!
[pen] Ocean schmocean. :(
New puppy scmuppy
[pen] Praise be to those who share news! Not that I can go.
Engaged Schmengaged
not me .... the telephone line
Babysitters mademebitter
Argh! *Sobs quietly*
wierd babysitters
I had a mad babysitter who made green popcorn and owned several hundred sets of salt&pepper shakers. She also kept every single newspaper (free or not) that she ever got. You could only go through her house via a single path through the vast piles of newspaper. She sent us her brother's autopsy report several years after we moved. I have NO IDEA why - but it had quite a vivid description of his lungs, as he died partly from pneumonia.
harmless nutters
[snorgle] Was that in Canada - or is she still at large in the UK?
harmless hillbillies
You are fortunate - she lived in Ottawa. She may be dead by now, too. She came from a line of Quebecois hillbillies and both her brother and sister who lived with her were... strange - they were mute, but made wierd noises which terrified us kids. Pity really, because they weren't mean, just trying to be friends..
crazy lady
the newspapers thing reminds me of a film i saw once - set in Finland or Norway or Canada or somewhere, with a lady who stacked newspapers all over her house just how you describe. There was a child involved I think who got taken away. A very nice film.
stacking
[snorgle] That morbid collecting of newspapers is a great deal more common than you might think... there was a series on a few years ago (before I left the UK, although I never watched it) called something like "Sanitation Inspectors" where their whole job was to go into the houses of people who had become obsessed with this kind of collecting and clear out the junk.

I have a colleague whose neighbours did this too. The developer who now owns their property has been trying to clear out the house for six months now. Quite sad, really.

Obsessive collecting
Yes - there was a case about 200 yards from where I live. The occupant (male I think) was found dead amongst his collections. There was a room in the house with only two feet of space left at the top.

My Dad is a little like this too - he can't bear to part with things, especially if he feels that there is a possibility it can be repaired or reused. I think he has three partially operative video recorders. Come to think of it, my Mum was a little like that too (never threw a jam-jam or biscuit-tin out) - mind you, she reused them all. I wonder if it comes from a wartime childhood?
Or an anti-consumption ethic - which for better or worse I share.
[Btd] What does tuberculosis have to do with it?

Still, as a member of a collecting family, I can hardly point the finger too aggressively. My wall of Trek tapes would only point back.

anti-discardation
I throw everything away, unless I remember what it is, it brings back a recollection of something, or I think I might use it someday in a book.
[Tina] Well, that last one has been my excuse to keep probably about half of my possessions. Fifteen years later, and I haven't written a blessed word about any of it.
writing
[dunx] But it's so nice to THINk about writing.
Junk
Given the response to clutter I am ever so glad that none of you have seen my workshop! As far as writing goes, I think that none of my 'stuff' would assist me in that venture - although I did think a few months ago that I might attempt some sort of novel. I did - it's still on page three! Perhaps some sort of regime may help (both subjects); maybe save one hour per day for each? This would mean the workshop should be cleared and tidied by 2020 and a manuscript organised by, say, 2005. Hmmm. ;-)
Chucking things out
I've just about cured myself of (a) keeping any bit of paper with spare space on it, and (b) thinking of butter as a luxury. Result of an immediate post-war childhood when these items were a bit short, to say the least.
Angus Prune
What ho! Just fancied sharing a thought that Haz got from an insightful friend:
How do "Keep Off The Grass" signs get there?

other pearls of wisdom included:

Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work any more?

If WilE Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?

Why do Fat Chance and Slim Chance mean the same thing?

And who opened that first oyster and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't *this* look yummy!"

...of no particular consequence but you have to share the laughter...
Err
[ZK] Chuckles.

Why are not Bactrian camels more prolific than Dromedaries given that the former has more humps than the latter?

Grumpy wake-up Bird anti consumer
Oh bugg*r did I say anti-consumption? At some point I'll get enough sleep. ZK - :o)
Collecting
Ridiculous collecting of piles of junk is a common symptom of OCD. I have OCD and overpowering urges to do that kind of thing, but fortunately I have it more under control these days - although my collection of old Tube tickets amazes all who are fortunate enough to gaze upon it. I think the secret is a sort of displacement - if I focus on collecting a single kind of crap, I can throw away things like receipts or old cinema tickets with relative ease.
crap'n'junk
I've taught myself how to do it over the years - part of the solution is to recognise when you're in a mood to throw out emotional baggage, and the stored crap associated with it. Anything I haven't used in the past two years is unlikely to be used again, so it goes either for recycling or to charity. There are exceptions, of course - my reindeer skin, pocket TV, tennis shoes and velvet coat. I *hate* small bits of paper and get rid of them ASAP.
tibet
I was once sorely tempted to put everything I owned in a large pile and cover it in paraffin and set fire to it, and then sod off to Tibet and join a monastery. Still, in my more lucid moments, this strikes me as an eternally good idea.
Throw it away!
I've moved accomdation quite a few times in the past year this made me quickly realise that junk should be thrown away. I now can fit all my possessions in the back of my car. But as I'm looking into buying a house in the near future no doubt that my stuff will expand to fill as much space as I buy!
Junk
[Lib] You'd be amazed. I've owned a house for two years and have gone from being a man with a bed and a stereo to being a man with a bigger stereo, widescreen TV, surround sound, kitchen tables, bookcases, tools, and no less than 3 sofas. My stuff has expanded to fill my house and I could probably fill my neighbour's house with what's in the loft. How it happened I do not know. My advice to you is that, once you have a home of your own and space in which to store things, that things suddenly gravitate towards you. Learn to sidestep them....
Ikea is the root of all evil.
Avoid storage. If you buy things like cupboards, boxes, drawers, shelves to store all that junk then you just give yourself more space to fill with more junk which requires more storage and so on until you reach the point where to have more storage, you need a bigger house. You move to a bigger house which involves packing, so you throw away about 50% of your junk and end up in a house with loads of space. Ideal for filling with junk.
male junket
Virtually everything I own is 2nd hand and at the end of its usefulness just goes back to the charity shop. All, that is except my own compulsive obsessive collection of CDs. They stay.

I have heard that men suffer far more from OCD than women (examples include trainspotters, twichers and - ahem - sexual fanatics) and that this is linked to autism - thus linking maleness with communication problems. Anyone else heard of this?
OCD
[Bob] I think men do indeed suffer more from OCD then women, but I'm not necessarly sure that I'd call trainspotters obsessive. Like all things in life its not black and white. I think one of the main criteria for a diagnosis of OCD to be made is the fact that it inteferes with normal life and the intense feelings that come from not doing the compulsion. Linking maleness with communication problems is quite a vast step, can I turn the tables and suggest that women communicate too much?
second hand clucks
[Bob] I fear for your chickens when they reach the end of their egg productivity ;-).
OCD - I always thought it affected males and females equally and this might support that [unless they do things differently over there].
[Lib] Have just spotted your post as I was simul-ing - I agree - the link between the two is a HUGE step.
did u know ur a googlewhack? its penchant gazump
whacked
[paul] Who ... me? :-)
Men! Sweeping statement MkII
chalky] Nah - chickens are safe. Anyway, they are a variety that remain productive until they are 7 years old!
Lib] sorry - yes, trainspotting is not really OCD but I felt it may be linked to the kind of one-dimensional thought processes that males sometimes exhibit. I know loads of blokes who obsess about everything from computers to sport - girls seem to share this 'single mindedness' only when it concerns self preservation and children. Am I being extremely unfair to my own gender? Regarding communication - I find it incredibly difficult to talk to other men unless I share a passion with them, or are they are effeminate. In social situations, I enjoy hearing women and effeminate men talk because you are so much better at discussing emotional subjects.
OCD
I do actually suffer from an OCD which I now have more or less under some form of control, the details of which I will not go into, but I can say from very very painful experience that trainspotting has nothing in common, nothing whatsoever, not even close, not so much a different ballpark but a different sport played by the wrong rules by people trained in scuba diving wearing spacesuits. Believe me, a true OCD is life-destroying, it's all consuming to the point where you cannot function at all, you forget to eat, you forget to sleep, you care only about your OCD. Obsessive behaviour is very common in males, especially I think with the type of males who frequent this type of website (myself included), but it's not a disorder.
muscling in on Bob/Lib dialogue
It is interesting that the terms 'nerd' and 'geek' are usually applied to the male gender and that may be because - sweeping generalisation alert - they appear to be more pastime/hobby/enthusiast/fancier orientated. Perhaps they have more time on their hands?
BTW Bob - how would you define an 'effeminate' man? Are you referring to those of a homosexual persuasion or those who are in touch with their feminine side?
boys who like girls
Bob] Methinks that living in a house with three females doesn't help you in this. I must admit I like talking to girls as well ;o)
Girls v boys
On the subject of hobbies - I wonder if this is a cultural thing. It might be that young boys are more often encouraged to persue their hobbies and interests. I can's offer any observations about young girls cos neither I nor my brother was one. And I suspect that by the time we stopped being scared of them, and actually started liking them, this was unlikely to be the kind of question we were interested in. So what do parents get their daughters doing?
brothers & daughters
[rab] good question and one which I'm sort of qualified to put my two pennorth in, being the only girl with three brothers as well as mother of girls. Boys [in general] are happy to pursue a hobby on their own. Girls [in general] are more responsive to peer group pressure and prefer to do the hobby stuff with their friends. My 13-year old is far more enthusiastic about the drama club that all her cool friends attend, than the piano lessons where she has to go it alone, even though she is far more talented piano-wise than drama-wise.
playing
As a child I spent a lot of time playing with my brother. As he was older this generally consisted on him chasing me, him jumping on me, him spraying me with a hose then locking me out of the house. And other activities like rugby, scalelectrix, hockey and taunting. But I did possess dolls and played with them with my female friends when I wasn't being terrorised by my big bro! My mum was particularly keen for me to persue my hobbies chosen by her, eg piano and violin practice which went down about as well as the insults from my brother!
meant to say
[FG] Well done for getting it under control, and long may it continue. I've heard that its worse than a herion addiction, so it can't have been easy.
OCD and Friends
Re: throwing things away (or not, as the case may be) - I don't suffer from OCD, but I do exhibit a fair number of ADD behaviours1. ADD is apparently quite often misdiagnosed as OCD, depending on the particular collection of behaviours exhibited. The behaviour which leads to collecting massive amounts of stuff is a decision making shortfall.

[1] ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) is a bad name, but it is also the name assigned to whatever ADD is. Personally, I don't think it's a disorder of the individual so much as a mismatch between how society trains people to behave and how some people's brains work, but there we are. The effect is much the same.

who like girls who like boys
Rab] I'm a dad with girls. I've not tried to push dresses or football on them, but they are naturally girly. Friends with boys agree, gender stereotypes are produced by the child choosing the behaviour patterns that they feel most comfortable with.
Chalky] (Beware - beware more sweeping generalisations) I mean those with the (generally) female characteristic of being able to communicate. This includes homosexual men. Some of the people I get on with best are gay because I like the way they can empathise. One of my best friends is only so because he made a pass at me. I, however, am hetero.
st d] Yeah - seven females vv me... sometimes I crave for a blokey night out at the local where we can eat raw (freshly hunted) buffalo steak and drink gallons of beer after a night wolf-whistling, playing rugby and mud wrestling.
mud wrestling ?!?
Well Mr Bob the Dog, I can help you out in the drinking beer stakes, but I think I will leave the mud-wrestling to the others.
Dogwrestling
Oh I wasn't clear - mud wrestling (with) girls :o)
Disorders and the single Qu+xum
OCD-no.
ADD-most likely; never been diagnosed as such but I suspect it's the case.
Me & women-I can talk to women on a strictly professional basis. However, if it gets even mildly personal (and I'm not sufficiently pissed), I basically turn into a paralyzed crab. Of course, talking Linux and cricket (sometimes simultaneously) doesn't draw the hotties here in Pittsburgh. :|
Diagnosis
[Dr Q] I was only diagnosed because the coping strategies I had developed made me depressed. I self-treated and resolved to stop using those coping strategies, but then I wasn't coping and I became depressed.
OCD&ADD
I wanted to write a little about how much I respected FG and Dunx for coping with OCD and ADD and having the courage to express it here. However, I'm a bloke, so I could never do a thing like that because it may reveal my blousey emotional side ;o)
seconding that emotion
[Bob] Hear hear. Also to Dr Q for disclosing paralysed crab tendencies when faced with laydeez who don't necessarily wish to talk business. Now that surprised me a little, although it shouldn't really - we often assume we 'know' someone based on our familiarity with their online persona.
It's a lot easier to sound sophisticated and erudite when you have the time to pick your words carefully. For example, if this were a face-to-face conversation, I probably wouldn't have said 'erudite' just now.
OCD?
Have ADD, only officially 'labelled' in 2000. However, like many 'sufferers', I have a high IQ, and had learnt to disguise it over the years, along with my lysdexia
lysdexia
deslyxia
axeldysi
dislexya
ah! Daily Sex! I think I'll keep that one...
Being honest
My proclivity for the amassment of huge piles of 'stuff' has absolutely nothing to do with ADD/OCD or any other disorder - apart from disorder itself; it is pure and unadulterated laziness. I do not collect objects in the sense of an aim in itself. I have, over many decades, learned to live with this affliction and simply accept it as 'me'. I do sympathise with those who have such leanings - that's the compulsive side of a personality - as I have had something similar for many, many years now but which is not at all related to the collection/arrangement side of things ... no, I'm not going into it here.

[Riff] You are correct, to a point, but is it just that you are afeared that the other parties to a conversation may be ignorant of the meaning of certain words and, therefore, you 'lower' your language to the level that you surmise is acceptable?

Psychological Disorders
I did a test online today for those. Luckily, I appeared to score low on pretty much every disorder, although I tested as "moderate" for Schizotypal, Obsessive-Compulsive, and Paranoid and "High" for Histrionic and Avoidant. Happily, I know what none of these things mean, with the exception of obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd) which anyone who knows me knows is rubbish (coathangers, anyone?) I'll go with Dujon. I'm just lazy.
Trainspotting
Locospotting if you don't mind. As a 12-yr-old I was a locospotter, but it was all steam in those days, and also regarded as quite normal. We all indulged in serious trespass in pursuit of engine numbers. But these days if I see a 30-yr old in an anorak, yes!, at the end of a platform noting the numbers then there's something seriously wrong. It's not OCD; just sad. How can anyone be interested in a sodding diesel? No charisma. And they don't talk.
Can talk business (any time) or small-talk (after a pint) with anyone, male or female, though am often told my small-talking style is much more like a woman's than a man's (well I did learn it from my mother, pretty much a single divorced parent.) Can talk "football/rugby/insert sport of choice here" with anyone in the bar, drunk or sober, owing to fine memory for statistics. Can only talk "personal" with girls, never guys, and only on an abstract basis, otherwise go into paralyzed-crab mode. Actually prefer talking to women rather than men. Frequently have gay men making passes at me - never women (and have an equally annoying tendency to try to chat up women who then turn out to be lesbians. I didn't know there *was* such a thing as reverse gaydar...) Am totally straight and thus pissed off at the above situation.
Not sure about AD(H)D or OCD, but I suspect a reasonable case could be made, especially for the former. And in the latter case, I'm a minor obsessive who hates people that get more obsessive than me (about anything) but defends his right to be *this* obsessive ;-)
disclaimer
there is, of course, scientific proof for each, and severe cases can be quite crippling. On a lighter note, has anyone taken this test? http://www.penddraig.co.uk/pen/tests/sanity.htm
Oh laaaaaaaaaaaaaadeeeeeeeeeeee!
[Chalky] Pro'lly because we've never met in person. Of course, if it's a large enough crowd, I can just go about being the sarcastic, heavily vulgar, semi-humourous arsehole I usually am.
Then again, most members of the American female persuasion find me decidedly unattractive anyway, so I don't have to put up with it that often.

And as for rubbish...I'm a packrat. Nothing will be thrown out. EVER.

[ZK] 30.1%. Am I nuts?
Nost what?
Ah, Rosie, you tickled a few synapses there! Trespass indeed! True though; if you did it now, there'd be a couple of policemen crawling down an embankment to ask you funny questions. Even after I came to Australia I still kept an interest in steam engines (although my older brother was a real afficianado; he had records - that's 12" LPs - of various engines, trains, locations which were marvellous.) In those days (and we did) we used to travel on the local electric trains out to Penrith where some of the engines were turned around on a turntable to enable the return journey back through the mountains. Marvellous stuff. The 'lads' there even welcomed us and showed us around, let us watch the operations and explained any questions we may have had. To those of you younger than I, please accept my apologies for a bit of reminiscing.
Crazy
[ZK] Rubbish. According to that site I'm only 17.45454543% disadvantaged. That is demonstrably incorrect, otherwise I wouldn't be here and, certainly, would not take such a revealing quiz. Ptooe. ... ;-)
wibble
I am insaner than thou! ;)
Them engines
[Duj] I'm significantly younger than ye :), but I fully understand the fascination with the old engines. (Remind me to send you the pic of my great-grandfather and his engine.) You can often find videotapes and DVDs here of rail journeys. Next time I head up to Horseshoe Curve or other such rail history in Western PA I'll see if I can find any.
steam trains
has anyone been to sheringham? funky steam trains there, although a bit limited. was a big fan of Thomas the Tank Engine when younger but by the time I came along, they didn't make 'em like that any more! Nevertheless, I will always hold an affinity for Ringo Starr and his funnelled companions.
[Dujon] A good point, and that's probably at least a little of it (particularly if I have a low opinion of the intelligence of the person I'm talking to). But I tend to be shy around people I don't know, and the pressure to maintain a conversation in that situation makes me default to easier words simply because it's hard enough to string a sentence together as it is. In a more relaxed situation with friends, the more complicated words come more easily, and if someone doesn't know a word, I shrug and define it for them. Another aspect of it, probably, is that with people I don't know, the topic of conversation is rarely complicated enough to require any specialized vocabulary.

[re: junk] My excuse for accumulating huge piles of junk is that I might want to glue some of it together into sculpture. Of course, this rarely happens, but the fact that it does happen once in a while makes it that much harder to throw any of it away. From where I'm sitting, I can count nine empty cigarette boxes (one of them an interesting little slide-drawer thing), an attractive Harrods cookie tin, and a large lump of rusty metal that I haven't any idea what it is.

30.113636363636363%
Mwhahahahahahhaha!
sleep deprivation
Don'tcha just LOVE these cosy late night chats?
Or
Half pickled Thursday afternoons; don't you people understand that I'm supposed to be working/
Earlier
{Riff} Indeed. I remember with fondness the silly word games and references in which my family indulged over the evening meal. When I finally went to a job I found that all of my witty(?) remarks simply floated above. I was, to be honest, devastated. Nevertheless, I have finally found a 'home' in the various M.C. style web sites. Whilst my 'witty' remarks are not alway appreciated and, having met many who are far more clever than myself, I find that I rather like this community.

Sorry for the pathetic overtones, but it's true.

18.181818181% nuts. Mostly marshmallow, with an occasional choc-chip.
I'm not that good at small talk, I find it tiring and often don't know what to talk about, and so just lapse into silence, listen, watch, etc. If it's something I'm interested in, I can talk about/around it, or if I have nothing to say, can listen to someone burble on, and ask a question or two, or add something here or there (often surprising people, in the process, it seems). I'm learning to ask questions. I'm always much more comfortable with one or two other people, or in small groups rather than large ones, and definitely preferably people I know. I don't know about any men/women difference. But I am willing to let conversations pause.

Some people find this disconcerting, or think I'm boring, or (more likely) stupid. *shrugs*. It's lonely sometimes, but places like this are very good, and I think I've learned a great deal. Thanks.

[flerdle] I'm exactly the same, and I quite agree.
obsessive
The "other one" out of the disorders that manifest themselves in compulsive menky collecting types of behaviour is Asperger Syndrome, believed in recent years to be a sort of autism-lite. It basically is intended to be an umbrella label for those with somewhat impaired social skills, a preoccupation with abstract hobbies on which they "perseverate" (e.g. focus on to the exclusion of all else for long periods of time, including when talking to someone else) and who find it difficult to empathise or instinctively understand other people's motivations. For a time I believed I was aspergic until I actually went out and met some people who really were and had the chance to compare. This was a painful exercise which involved listening politely to the full details of the history of South West trains. After years of neglect it has become an extremely fashionable diagnosis recently for children, and, it seems to me, is overapplied.
Smallness
[Smalltalk] I'm exceptionally bad at smalltalk, and also don't respond well to it. I'm not one of these people who generally can talk to, say, a hairdresser, probably because I feel like I have no common reference points. That said, where I fall down is not being very good at the verbal parrying that establishes what the common reference points are. This is made worse by being a hopeless bloke, having no interested in cars, football and, to a certain extent, tits. So even the usual gambits just fail on me miserably. This probably marks me out as being 'boring', and would probably be confirmed if my interlocutors were to discover those subjects I do have an opinion about. New people can be problematic, too. I don't know if flerdle or penelope remember what I was like when I turned up at my first pilg...

[Aspergers] I have a friend who is like this, and his mum suggested he might have Aspergers. However a friendly medic who had met him immediately said "No, he's not got Aspergers"... I think there is a fashion to give everything a fancy label nowadays, and like Projoy, believe this is not a good thing. I would have thought it were obvious that different people approach things differently, and there's degrees of conformance to the "standard" way of doing things (known popularly as "normality").

In fact, drawing these two stands together, I find most "normal" people rather dull. Is this just me being an arrogant arse-wit?

Phantom
[Aside] Am currently "working" at home, and the phone rang whilst composing the above. The caller hung up immediately. I hate that - why can't they just admit to having dialled a wrong number? I don't think it was a potential burglar...
itsybitsy
[rab] I think you reminded me of me :-)
... and I was overcompensating out of sheer terror :-)
Oh...
[flerdle] I didn't mean to scare you! Luckily I think the beer and Tim-Tams sorted everything out.
eek! *hides behind the sofa*
[rab] My last posting was just to explain why (perhaps??) I seemed rather boisterous at times, (I wasn't saying that you were or weren't) which is another way of "coping", but not my usual one, I think because of the complete novelty of it all, especially the Tim-Tams. And I was stone cold sober, so that wasn't any excuse either. You certainly didn't scare me, and am looking forward to hopefully visiting again next summer.

Which, in a way, brings us back to collecting junk: I have a small amount of "stuff", but mostly I have books (I've been very restrained, honest!!). I used to have a tendency to collect empty or hardly-used notebooks (mmmm stationery), but recently disposed of almost all of them. A lot of things will be farmed out to friends/relatives, and some stored, but I'm quite looking forward to starting again in January with little more than a suitcaseful. Should be interesting.

A disordered mind
Wow, what a stream of revelations we have here. Bob is right to say that OCD is something quite different from "obsessiveness", and I get very angry when people talk about being "a bit obsessive-compulsive" and so on, when Goddammit! They haven't the faintest idea what it means. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my whole brain off and put it away in storage for a long, long, time. Someone asked earlier if OCD is related to autistic disorders, and there is evidence that it is. There is a greater overlap of occurrences of OCD and Asperger's than you would statistically expect, and indeed I have had my own brain photographed, rather excitingly, in an experiment to test this. Asperger's is the syndrome suffered by the narrator in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and one of the reasons I was so moved by that book was that, God help me, I identified with practically every aspect of him, except for being unable to read expressions, which is a defining characteristic of Aspergers. Many of the things that character does, such as counting, refusing to touch certain things, etc. are traits associated with OCD. Personally I think OCD, autism, and Asperger's are all somehow related, but people like me are very much on the "high-functioning" end of that spectrum, which means we can pass ourselves off as normal human beings. Well, most of the time.
By the way, it's true that some of these disorders are "over-diagnosed", but they are "under-diagnosed" as well. One in twenty adults in the UK has ADD, but the vast majority are never diagnosed.
PJ
rab] are you saying that you don't believe Projoy is a good thing ?
I can talk to anyone, but I hate listenintg. Ha ha.
Apologies, by the way, in case any of this is inappropriately confessional or too dull for anyone else! I've been thinking about it a lot recently (I do anyway, naturally) because someone at work actually guessed that I have OCD from watching my peculiar rituals, which rather shook me because, although I do peculiar rituals literally all the time, I normally hide them pretty well and people don't realise. Perhaps I'm getting worse.
Labelling
I'm not sure whether things are over or under diagnoised. Does having a label help matters? I know that I've got many traits which are typical of many diseases (my thinking pattern is very common in people with schizophreina, I have depressive phases, I'm mildly dyslexic) and I'm sure if I was analysed fully I'd have all sorts of nasty disorders. But thankfully they don't affect my life much, and I consider myself to be fairly sane. So does diagnosing mild ADD, mild OCD or mild Aspbergers help? There's no definate treatment (although congitive therapy can help, but cognitive therapy can help a lot of people) so why the need to label it?
OCD
What Dunx describes above is almost exactly what happened to me but in reverse I think. The OCD arose because I was depressed and would obsess on tiny things, believing absolutely that those things were the cause of my depression and if only I could sort them out I'd be happy. When, of course, I didn't sort them out I became more depressed, and so on and so on.
I can quite strongly reccomend hypnotherapy for the treatment of OCD. I wouldn't call it a cure but it sure helped me.
As far as diagnosis goes I don't think with these things that it's that clear cut. It's simply what you might call a personality trait, and we all exhibit different personality traits in differring amounts. Some people are talkative, some are fly-by-night, some are obsessive. I think we assign the term 'disorder' when one of these traits goes to an extreme such that it interferes with the normal day-to-day running of our lives. If we had a sound scientific way of actually measuring the extent to which each trait applied to us, the the term 'disorder' would be redundant.
Labelling
[Lib] I think the label does help. One of the things that helped me (and is still helping me) pull up out of the spiral of OCD was the fact that I could give it a name. I know now that I have an obsession, and that makes it less real so that I can actually control and sometimes ignore it. When you're in the depths of OCD you fully do not realise that you are obsessing, you just think that there is nothing else to life.
[st d] I can listen to anyone, but I hate talking.
[Lib] Naming a thing (and to some extent inventing the thing by the process of naming it) can cut both ways. The Asp/Aut/AD(H)D concept is now out there to a degree to which it wasn't, not many years ago. This lets people use it as a convenient club to beat people they can't deal with, but also lets others recognise themselves in it and make contact with each other. I've read alt.support.autism on and off, and there's a lot of very interesting, politically conscious stuff goes by. In fact, a lot of the politics is exactly the same as for being gay, black, deaf, or female. For pretty much any position that has ever been taken on any of these issues, change the specifics and it would be something that someone has said about any of the others.
[BM] Anyone who enjoyed "Curious Incident" might also be interested in Elizabeth Moon's Speed of Dark, an SF novel in which the central character is autistic. The characterisation is quite similar.
Labels
Having a label helped me a lot for similar reasons to FG - I could capture my demon. Looking back at my life and the way that things have gone, I can also recognise ADD behaviours there (indeed, recognising ADD behaviours in my school reports was a key element of the diagnosis). This gives me power to forgive myself: ADD is not an excuse for my poor performances in the past, but I've spent too much of my life thinking of myself as lazy and weak. I feel that I understand better why my education was so skewed towards things I liked, or why I flit from subject to subject, or why I will focus on interesting things to the exclusion of all else, or why I have such an appalling sense of the passage of time. Recognising these things (rather than blaming myself for them) has helped a lot.
Labels
they tried to label me as Bi-polar (it's all coming out isn't it ?) but I just smiled knowingly and carried on reading the numberplates.
'Best Before' labels
I'm normal on the surface. Whatever demons I carry with me are my business, but I'm approaching 40, single, childless and seem to be attracted by, and attractive to, men 15 years my junior. Make your own conclusions, then keep them to yourself! ;o)
.....
***quietly goes and hides behind a chair***
*whistles innocently*
Labels
[Lib] Ah, but they're not just labels. They're objective realities. Saying that someone has ADD, for example, isn't just saying that they have a bunch of particular personality traits - it means that they have a particular genetically transmitted condition which causes those traits. As Fat German says, if you don't have the traits very badly, you probably don't have the condition with which those traits are sometimes associated. But if you know that someone does have that condition then you can treat it, if treatment is appropriate. Describing this kind of diagnosis as "applying labels" is as silly as talking of disgnosing a broken leg or lung cancer or any other illness or condition as "applying labels". Certainly I have found it enormously helpful to be properly diagnosed because it means I can recognise OCD things for what they are and deal with them accordingly. And this is true of many other people I have spoken to, with OCD and with ADD as well.
Labels
[BM] There is a crucial difference, though, between a broken leg and these mental conditions or constitutions. In the case of a broken leg, you can demonstrate the objective existence of a physical pathology, and there are treatments known to be effective in pretty much every individual case. For ADD and the like, no-one has demonstrated either an objective pathology, or an objectively effective treatment based on an understanding of the pathology. All we have is descriptions of symptoms that cluster together (although no individual need show all of them), vague genetic correlations, and supposed treatments of very variable effect. There may indeed be a definite thing wrong with the brains of OCD sufferers, and there may be possible treatments as effective as setting a broken bone and applying a cast, but currently, very little is actually known.
(simulposted by a much more succinct post from Raak, but...)
[BM] Well... yes and no. I'll take ADD as my example, since that is obviously what I know best.

It is clear that ADD behaviours can be severe enough to cause problems, and that there are a lot of people who carry these behaviours around with them, but it is not certain that ADD is an objectively definable disease. For instance, ADD has been described and recognised by the US psychiatric establishment for more than 30 years (although its name has been changed a few even times over that time), but the UK establishment only officially recognised ADD in the 1990s - this despite the first published work on ADD being in the UK a hundred years before. Even in the US, ADD has only recently (ie in the last ten years or so) been widely recognised as occurring in adults - it was considered a childhood affliction which was obliterated by adolescence.

Part of the problem is that labelled conditions such as ADD, OCD, etc are note discrete: a bone is broken or it is not broken, but ADD has more degrees than there are labels, and even then it is not clear that even someone whose collection of symptoms is technically pathological enough to be so labelled is actually displaying anything more than just a strong personality trait. There has been work to scan brains under ADD-expressing conditions, and there are apparently common factors to those scans, but ADD is at best a collection of possibly related symptoms. But then is personality just an expression of brain chemistry?

As I say, my belief is that those who are actually disadvantaged by their ADD behaviours are those who have been trying to use their brains in ways which don't mesh with their brain chemistry or personality, where "one size fits all" education systems teach the same learning mechanisms to everyone regardless of how they really learn best. This is one of the reasons that I talk about my having ADD behaviours; Idon't consider myself to be diseased1.

[1] this is going in a footnote because it's not part of the core point, but one of the things which concerns me about statements that ADD is underdiagnosed is that it is then treated as a disease. At this point the children (and this is where I become most concerned - it is almost always children) are dosed up with psychostimulants in order to make them fit in rather than training them to use their brains to their best advantage: the problem is not solved, it is avoided.

Dunx's last paragraph and footnote
Absol-bloodly-lutely. Extremely well put. It extends beyond education and learning mechanisms too, in my view.
clusters
[Dunx and Raak] Hear hear. Nicely expressed.
iz it becos I iz...?
As Raak says, a leg is generally broken or not broken, and the difference is pretty clear and agreed upon, but you get members of any minority group into a room (ADD sufferers, autists, gays, black people) into a room and ask them to define "ADD", "autism" or, heaven help you, "gayness" or "blackness" and you will soon have a heated debate on your hands.
...just witness the endless controversies in the last few decades over the definition and meaning of "disabled".
I like meds
I agree with Dunx that the problem is really one of society not being able to handle people who are different. It's terrible that children, in particular, who have a different way of learning, get straitjacketed into the traditional methods and classed as having a problem if they don't fit in. It's especially ridiculous given how much society actually prizes ADD traits in many ways - such as creativity and spontaneity - which is how people like Billy Connolly, Robin Williams, and Ozzy Osbourne got to where they are today. Bill Clinton, of course, is the classic ADD kid made good. But at the same time, I do think that there is good evidence that ADD, in particular, is a discrete and specific disorder, with specific physiological causes, rather than a handy name for a bunch of sometimes associated phenomena. Raak is wrong to say that the genetic correlations of ADD are vague: they are not vague at all, and there is very good evidence for a strictly physiological basis, although of course how that basis manifests itself will vary according to conditions. Certainly ADD behaviours do vary from person to person in type and degree, which is one of the things that make it hard to diagnose, but it doesn't follow that the underlying cause varies - at least where ADD is the correct diagnosis. We have a rather skewed view of it in the UK because, as he says, it hasn't been officially recognised here for very long, compared to the US; in fact, some of the newer treatments for it, such as Concerta (essentially slow-release Ritalin) are unheard of to many supposed experts in this country. Plus, of course, the media like to fixate on issues of medication and horror stories about it. By the same token, it would be better if society could change to accommodate those of us who are different, but given that it can't, medication is a whole lot better than nothing. I have known people whose lives have been utterly ruined by ADD as well as by OCD. If they had been diagnosed earlier and given the help they needed - medication as well as proper counselling and behavioural therapy - who knows how things might have been different.
Whoops
Something happened to my paragraph marks. I do apologise - as if my tedious exhalations aren't bad enough as it is...
physiology
[BM] So what are the discrete physiological causes of ADD popularly supposed to be, then?
Re: physiology
[Projoy] Primarily temporal lobe dysfunction, at least according to Dr Daniel Amens who was one of the first to use brain scans to try and figure out what is different in an ADD brain. I've read his book Amens' "Healing ADD" where he describes the different areas of brain activation in the six varieties of ADD which he identifies. All of them share some degree of temporal lobe dysfunction.

The temporal lobe controls your ability to concentrate, and is more active when a brain is concentrating on something. A typical pattern in an ADD brain is that when it is used to concentrate deliberately on something then the temporal lobe is actually deactivated (ie there is less neural activity). I say "deliberately" because a common ADD behaviour is 'hyperfocus' where the brain will concentrate on something novel1 to the exclusion of all else, but this is rarely deliberate.

Note that there is another book called "Healing ADD" by Thom Hartmann, that I would also recommend, but which is entirely different. In particular, Mr Hartmann specifically attacks Amens' work in scanning brains. But there we are.

[1] another very annoying aspect of this is that I cannot go to sleep if there is speech in earshot. I'll be drifting off quite satisfactorily when my brain will latch on to the interesting noises and amplify them in my perception. Similarly, I need silence or at least white noise if I need to think about a task which I am not entirely involved in, because otherwise my mind will concentrate on the novel rather than what I'm supposed to be doing.

Right, but that still leaves Raak's point unchallenged, doesn't it? There's nothing to suggest that there's a single cause for that particular pattern of brain activity.
Quite right.

For instance, even the mechanisms by which ADD brain patterns arise in the individual are not certain. There is a high correlation between ADD in parents and in their offspring (a figure of 70% is often quoted) which might suggest a genetic link, but it could equally be due to upbringing: the brain is plastic enough that learning will change its structure (no specific references, I'm afraid - I read this recently but can't remember where), and if much of a child's early development is achieved through mimicry then it's quite possible to imagine that parental ADD behaviours might imprint on the child.

It may well be that the role of genetics in mental development is overstated. There is some work (this book, for instance) which puts forward the argument that:

  1. there is a common perception that genetic factors are the largest causative agent in mental illness
  2. there is almost no evidence of a correlation between mental illness in children and in their parents (the book linked to states that the strongest correlation is in schizophrenia where there is a 50% correlation; nothing about ADD though)
  3. if hypothesis (1) is wrong, then it must be environmental
  4. the most pervasive environmental influence on children is their parenting
  5. therefore the way you are raised is why your head works the way it does.
So, ADD may be at least as much a social phenomenon as a genetic one, although I also think that any learning which has this effect would have been at such a young age that there is no element of choice to it .
something else
I wonder if I could change the subject. Feel free to ignore me. A co-worker is driving me crazy. Her husband hit her and one of the kids and she got a court order that he stay away. Since then, she is trying to find ways to meet him or to justify meeting him. He is possibly suicidal and she thinks this means she should help him. I point out how these suicidal guys sometimes take the family with them (to death), but she still vacillates. She is obsessed and talks about it constantly: outside on breaks, at my workstation, on the phone, in e-mail. She also obsesses about how she wants sex with him and graphically tells me stuff. Oddly, she listens to my advice, which is quite blunt and includes telling her she is not rational now, but I have a law background, not a psychological one. What do I do to get her to get the help she needs? How do I keep her from putting herself in harm's way? How do I (a gazillion other things)?
Dorothy Dix.
Personally, apart from - as you mention - trying to convince her to get some professional assistance I'd stay well out, Tina. If she truly is irrational, heaven knows what affect any well meant advice may have on her. If you do attempt to convince her to get some help I think I'd leave the broken relationship out of any coaxing and simply concentrate on the fact that she is under stress at this time ... Then again, I'm no psychologist!
not ignoring Tina
[cross-posted with Duj] How very difficult for you. Are you in the UK? Can you point her towards the Samaritans or even Relate? In my experience [I've been a voluntary counsellor for some years] you are doing the right thing, in that you are listening. If you are happy to be just a sounding-board, for that is all you are, try not be too disappointed if she fails to heed your warnings. By confiding in you, I'm afraid it looks as though she is seeking justification and perhaps your approval for her future actions, ie. she is likely to meet up with him. I would say, your main problem is that her irrationality appears to have transmuted into outrageously selfish and controlling behaviour [towards you] and you have to guage how much more you can cope with. When she's next in 'listening' mode, you might gently point out that you have a life aswell. But unless she admits she needs professional help, there is little you can do, short of frog-marching her into a doctor's surgery. [Blimey! Do I sound like an agony aunt or what?]
Dujon and Chalky
Yes, this is what my sister says as well. I'm in the US and our employer has a counseling plan. My sister says, make excues when she comes to my cubicle. Yes, she is always seeking my approval. She will announce some awful plan, come to my desk, and ask what I think. I say I disapprove, and so far that works. But it's not right really. I'm not the professional. And she is selfish now. There is nothing in her life except her crisis. She lost maybe 20 pounds. She writes me at 3 a.m. and is not sleeping. Thanks for all your help. I just don't want to open the paper and find her dead.
Warts 'n All
I cannot put myself in your position and therefore cannot really understand, but it sounds like you are in a most awkward position - particularly if you feel obligated to your co-worker. Chalky is undoubtedly correct when she mentions listening but this, long term, could interfere with your own work. In view of the fact that your employer has a counseling service, why don't you have a talk with their staff? Depending on legal contingencies you may have to keep the name of your fellow worker out of any discussion, but at least you may receive 'proper' advice (and by that please do not think that I am denigrating Chalky's input.)
Dr dog
Tina] If you are concerned for her life then she definitely needs professional help. I think you have demonstrated the characteristics of a good listener - but you are not responsible for her situation. She has to be, so it may help to explain this to her in a kindly and assertive way. She may thank you for it.
advice
Thanks to you all for the good advice.
Echoes
I would echo what Dujon said in his last post - counsellors can be extremely useful even if you aren't the one who is in direct need of their services. It allows one to perspectivise the situation. Obviously the best case scenario is if somehow your colleague manages to sort her situation out; the worst case scenario is if this doesn't happen and you get dragged down with it. I found a counsellor was enormously helpful in staving off the latter when I was in a tricky situation.
Trying to attract INKSPOT's attention
To keep the competitive daughter away from MY Daq account - I suggested she sign up herself. She thinks she can knock spots of the rest of us. What a challenge. Any chance of slipping her into our mini-league? [x_sugarbabe_x - 3509835]
Only me...
Some people have to work you know, others sit around waiting for the server to get back up ... so in between this and that, I've added x_sugarbabe_x.
thanking Inkspot :-)
Celebuggered
Well, I'm going to have to waste about £600,000 in my NI-capping. Feh!
OCD
Coincedentally, the R4 programme "All In The Mind" had a segment on OCD on the 28th October edition.
... or rather, I should say, about hoarding. Slight misadvertising there. It's the first segment after the intro.
I've nothing much to add to the above (having just caught up with the foregoing) except to wish Tina luck with her situation and to thank those who've talked about such personal issues so openly in the ADD/OCD debate.
My own feelings are that I feel myself to be somewhat... eccentric, particularly socially. Some days I seem to fire on all cylinders and participate on all levels with "the group" (meaning colleagues & students) - cracking jokes and fitting into the ongoing banter as we work, but other days it's like I'm out of sync or speaking a different language.
I don't feel this or any other of my eccentricities are anything like extreme enough to warrant labelling as a disorder - and my feeling has been reinforced by some of the above - it's seldom if ever a real interference in my life. As Projoy suggested, when you hear stories from people who have suffered it humbles your own pretentions to such things!
I've often remarked flippantly that no-one worth knowing is "normal" or 100% sane - and I do believe it's the oddnesses about people that make them interesting day-to-day. Not so much that these traits are odd perhaps as that they're different, new and interesting. They characterise people, and make them unique.

I was also struck by Dunx's comments about difficulty falling asleep if there's audible conversation going on - I find falling asleep very difficult generally, and any sort of distraction is a killer: conversation (especially other people in the house talking, but also just tv) light - especially ambient light through the window, strong wind & rain (although they're kind of nice to listen to...) I've found music helps, although it needs to be the right sort of music - usually but not always without lyrics, often ambient. Dead Can Dance, Brian Eno's ambient classic Music For Airports and William Orbit's Strange Cargo III are all favourites to drop off to. They help shut out the rest.
Hmmm - this has turned into an insomnia post really...
[Celebdaq] I'm flabbergasted that Keanu Reeves is still dropping despite the last Matrix films opening... I was doing so well with Arnie before that too... ho hum.
[bl] "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well."
Celebdaq - Keanu Reeves dropping
Could it be because the last Matrix film is getting bad reviews, rather than good?
Sleepless in... well, everywhere
[blamelewis] I sympathise greatly. I have always suffered terribly from this. I have been known, on more than one occasion, to be kept awake by my own heartbeat. This is an example of how diagnosis helps, however: now that I know I have OCD, I recognise much of this as silly obsessiveness within my own head. I don't really need conditions to be perfect before I fall asleep, I just think I do, and it's the obsessing about it that actually keeps me awake. And that alone makes things much easier. However, I still cannot sleep through any kind of human-made noise. Those damn humans!
Scilence
Dunx/Blame/Bread] Sleep is something I adore. I could easily (and and often have) fallen asleep within earshot of conversation - que joke about boring conversations. But to try and fall asleep to music, even Brian Eno, would be impossible for me. I'd be far too wrapped up in thinking about the music to let it lull me. I prefer natural darkness and scilence - as experienced on Shetland - where there is vitually no man-made background light or sound.
zzzzzzzz
[Bob] I've noticed a big difference since moving out of Glasgow - there's no longer a streetlight glaring in my window, and only very occasionally do the sounds of drunken revelry intrude. {Bread] i feel sometimes it's the whirl of thoughts in my head keeping me awake - that and being insufficiently tired - I know part of the problem is my lack of regular exercise also. [JLE - Matrix] Bad press should count as much as good - look at Prince Charles this week!
Radio 40 winks
I fall asleep listening to Radio 4 - I like the noise of voices as I doze off. If there are too many of my thoughts whirling around in my head, (and this is where I start to think I'm odd, after reading everyone else's confessions) I kind of 'take dictation' from the shipping forecast or the news or whatever is broadcast. I hear the words, then see them in my mind's eye on the page, the shape of the letters and the shape and length of the word. It leaves no room for other thoughts and I'm asleep within minutes. I can't listen to music to fall asleep - it has a stuimulant effect, no matter what kind of music it is.
Sleeping to the radio
Adult to small child who has just answered the door: "Is your Mummy in?"
Small child: "She's asleep listening to Woman's Hour."
Bed, where is thy spring?
I don't seem to have this trouble. Diet and preoccupation seem to be pretty much the only factors that affects whether I sleep. Thus I must not eat after 7 if I want to fall asleep by 11. And almost nothing wakes me. Someone was stabbed to death on my street once and I slept through the whole incident. Provided I have followed the eating rule, I can fall asleep to any music or stimulus, even violent atonal C20th music. I fully expect to die in a fire someday.
To sleep, perchance to dream
I am fortunate. I fall asleep when I want to, which means when I am tired. I sleep lightly but it never really bothers me if I wake in the night [or if I am woken] because a cup of tea usually sorts me out. I wake when I need to. How dull.
I'm dreaming of a ... daq
Not really - BUT - come on, Dr.Q+ - you are within sight of the line (or at least in line of site.) You can make it ... deep breath ... push ... push ... only a bit to go ...

I'm afraid that Doris_Newbold and ffiish are about to lose a bit of well earned dosh, Doris though having just made the finishing post.

site ... s/b ... sight ... sheesh!
dream
[Chalky] not at all, sounds blissful! [celebdaq] That's it, I've sold Keanu, his usefulness offscreen clearly not in proportion to his arboresence on screen... it Prince Charles for me! (As the Butler said) (allegedly)
nodding off
I like sleep but sleep doesn't like me. I can't do it properly at all. And following on another comment, I fully expect to die by being stabbed to death as I set fire to Projoy's house.
zzzzzzz
At the beginning of the week, when I have classes, I get about 3-5 hours of sleep a night. At the end of the week, I get 10-12. Plus, any night of the week, I might decide not to sleep at all. In this fashion, I am training my body not to expect any particular amount of sleep at any particular time. I'll never be jet-lagged again!
[noise] I can't handle TV or conversation when trying to sleep at all, but I can handle music if it doesn't have lyrics, and is very repetative. For instance, I've fallen asleep underneath tables in the middle of raves a couple of times. Of course, driving all day to get there and then having to unload all the speakers undoubtedly helped.
Sleep
I used to have terrible trouble sleeping through other people's noise. My lodger used to have music on at night fairly quietly and it used to drive me mad, especially the fact that the bassline was audible more than the rest, to the point where we had a screaming row about it. She couldn't see my point of view and I was incensed that she couldn't see mine. Now that I know I'm obsessive about it I can sleep through it just fine. If it's me making the noise (my music, my radio, etc) I can sleep through practically anything.
Bass disturbance
FG] I couldn't stand any music at night either. I once shared a room in an International hostel with a guy who had an immense collection of pop music from Ghana. I had to move rooms to stay sane. The ex-roommate then started to make claims that I was racist (notes on the message board - complaints to the hostel management) because I didn't like being kept up till 4.00am every night. In an international setting, this was extremely hurtful.

This may seem funny, but it is really very sad. I someone who suffered from Tourette's syndrome recently. For some bizarre reason, he'd chosen to become a street performer - specialising in children’s entertainment. There must be a reason why he chose such an inappropriate career path.
I met someone
[Bob] Sounds interesting. Tell us more!
Lib] Not much more to tell. I was with my (at that time) 6 year old daughter. This chap was dressed in colourful street hippy type clothes and was earnestly and unsuccessfully trying to attract the attention of people with children outside Shakespeare’s Birthplace (I live in Stratford). I'm not usually keen on this kind of thing, but he seemed so honestly appealing so we stood and watched him juggle. He came over to us and talked to my Daughter. He was very sweet and friendly but when he spoke to me it was obvious he has Tourette's because he would twitch (as if sneezing) and shout a swearword. My partner and I are not uptight about letting my daughter hear swearwords, if she asks, we just tell her what they mean and that they are words it is wrong to use in public because they could cause offence. Same with this guy. It gave me an opportunity to talk to my daughter about the syndrome and how awful it must be to be a sufferer. The juggler, however, was not at all popular - especially with other parents - which was a shame because he really was good with my daughter.
Knee-capped
Not too gutted though - made well over 200,000 since dividend payout having not quite reached the 2,000,000 mark and was never going to make it up to the 3,000,000 mark before today. This week will be the real test.
Tourette's
[Bob and anyone else who's interested] There is a form of Tourette's, just as well documented, which manifests it self in strange twitches and 'noises' but NOT swearing. [I suppose it's not surprising that the uncontrolled blaspheming is the symptom that attracts all the attention - and sniggers] I know this because my brother's son had it. He and his wife noticed when my nephew was about 8 years old and within months he was diagnosed by the top specialists in the country. They have spent years keeping abreast of the constantly updated research on the syndrome as well as communicating via support groups, etc with other families who suffer. They were told quite early on that he would 'grow out' of it during puberty. He did. He's now 16 and is a superb county rugby player and is in the England R U Development Squad.
Had a conversation with a friend last night, she mentioned someone she knew who had Tourette's -- his specific symptom was that he'd 'baa' like a sheep all the time...
tourettes
Bob] You are right of course to say it is very sad and an awful syndrome etc etc. BUT, I am sorry, a juggling kid's entertainer with tourettes. That is comedy genius. Or would be if it were a sketch on Trigger Happy TV and not real life. Are you telling me that you haven't since laughed at the thought of the guy handing a balloon shaped like a donkey to some 6 year old and then saying "BOLLOCKS" really loudly? Tragic syndrome. Hysterically funny image.
Mental rental
Tee-hee - a self-drive rental truck has just driven into our office balcony, gashing a huuuuge hole in its roof!!
5 tonne monsters
I drove one of them last time we shifted. Why me and not the man of the house I can't remember. I was completely paranoid, because of the huge excess to pay if there'd been an accident, and because it was huge compared with our little car. But the bouncy driver's seat was fun.
van woman
[flerdle] It'll be because you're sensible and give off an air of confidence and capable-ness. And of course, you could blame Mr flerdle for making you drive if there'd been an accident... ;o)
little do they know...
[penelope] I love how your mind works :-D
He said WHAT?
St d] In fact that is what happened - except there was no balloon and he said "W@NKER" :o)
mini-swears
If walking past my old primary school is representive, kids know words like bol****s and w**ker anyway. In my day 'bum' was rather naughty.
A missing "ta"
They taught me to spell in those days as well.
w@nker
Bob] And you have laughed since in teling this story ? I am tempted to turn into a street clown and fake the tourettes.
googlewhack
not that i am particularly bored today or anything, but I just found a googlewhack, and they wont let me post it - I assume because it is deemed rude. Anyway I willshare it here as it is a genuine whack! FELLATED MOHICANS.
St d] Come to think of it - he said that too...
Whacked Off
[st d] Are you sure that's a googlewhack? If so I'm really rather surprised.
googlewhack
Oooh! It is, I just checked..
moving
[flerdle] You have a longer drive this time. And remember to deflate the tires when you reach the desert.
Losing hair
I was going to compose an extraordinarily witty comment to post somewhere on the site. However, I thought that this was even more funny (courtesy of my I.S.P.):

Service Disruption Start: Wednesday, 12 November 2003 at 5:53AM EDST
Last Updated: Wednesday, 12 November 2003 at 12:04PM EDST
Scheduled Service Disruption: No
Who is affected: Some customers
Impact: We are currently having problems with ADSL. This is affecting customers in New South Wales. Some customers will experience no dataflow. Technicians are treating this issue as a priority and are working on the problem.

Right, I'm off to find a pub or a bottle or something - it beats crying. Any takers?

Looking at that
Not clear? Probably not.

I have just spent considerable amounts of time attempting to post/read/hack a number of sites. I'm giving up and, hopefully, will see you all tomorrow.

Credit where it's due department
Last night, bored as hell with the quality of discussion in a chatroom, I began posting "Fascinating Facts", all culled from the lies game on this very server. After I posted Ibid's "Hammerhead sharks have to clean their teeth regularly, due to the large quantities of salted peanuts they eat." one of my duller interlocutors asked "where do they get the peanuts", allowing me to take great pleasure in replying "Do I look like a marine biologist?"

Totally irrelevant I know, but just a small example of how the MC community brings happiness into the world in small unexpected ways. :)

Projoy
I remember meeting you once in the Head of Steam many moons ago, on a Tuesday if I recall correctly. From that dim recollection, and also from my having met more than a couple of Marine Biologists in my time, I can only conclude that from a certain angle, and in the right light, you actually DO look like a Marine Biologist. But that is by the by - where DO the sharks get the peanuts from ?
You know, sometimes I wish I actually were a marine biologist. Particularly today, with the office feeling especially horrible.
marine biology
Indeed. How nice to be sitting on a beach somewhere far flung with a torch and a clipboard and a ruler, waiting for a load of turtles to turn up.
[Projoy] Why are people in chatrooms so stupid? The number of times I've tried to talk about something interesting or intelligent, only to get in reply "wot". I appreciate that my kind of interesting conversation may not be everyone's, or indeed anyone's, but what kind of idiot just types "wot"? The same kind that spells "great" with an 8, I suppose. [Shuffles off in carpet slippers muttering about the war.]
chatroom schmatroom
[Bready] Where do you chat? I'll gladly gatecrash and help you to liven things up a bit. Likewise [Projoy] there's some interesting Duologues to be made there, I'm sure. I was a frequenter of MSN chatrooms, where I would resort to lobbing virtual cushions about the room to initiate some reaction. And if nobody responded to a cushion, I'd try throwing virtual knives.
chattin
I have to confess - when I first became internetted a few years ago, my first port of call was an MSN chatroom. I plunged myself nervously into the mêlée, learned all the patter, sussed out the dynamics, etc. Anyway, after a couple of unsatisfactory weeks I decided it wasn't for me and became far more attracted to the community message board attached to the room, where I encountered some like-minded souls. Anyway, to cut a long [but rather interesting] story short, I now have two very close friends whom I see on a regular basis as a result of that experience. So, although I wouldn't be seen dead in a chatroom now [they terrify me], I can't exactly decry those who get something out of the experience.
Besides, if I manage to get any time to myself late evening, I would rather bimble around the Crescent sites. Talking of which, does anyone frequent the MCiOS chat server? If I knew that some friendly faces were in there, I might make an exception.
As far as I can see we never get around to creating enough activity in our own chatroom at MCiOS. We should maybe have a particular time in the week (like Sunday night at 8 or whatever) for VirtualPilgs, then the place would really buzz.
Grasshopper mind
Oh, and to leap back to the neurology discussions, is it meaningful for a person to maintain "I'm pretty ADD today" (as I have just done to a colleague. I certainly am finding it hard to focus on anything for longer than 20 seconds today, which is not always a problem.
And another thing
Why do I invariably leave off the closing parenthesis or comma from a subclause, and why do I often forget to put a question mark at the end of a question? Somebody must know. I can't be the only one.
crescent chat
[Projoy] Damn fine idea, although I'm part of a pub quiz team and we compete on Sunday nights, so I can't make it until about 11pm. Also I'm likely to be a bit squiffy.

Noting your simulpost PJ - it's because you're having an BAD ADD day

ADD
I had the answer to your questions, then I am afraid I got distracted by a tiny jam tart.
Mmm. Jam tart.
The MCiOS Chat Room
[Chalky] I'm usually in there while I'm at work (usually 12:30-21:30 GMT), but often not at my desk when anyone happens to show up. :(
trying to work at home
Distractions? DISTRACTIONS?? You should worry - a mere glimpse at the words jam tart sent me into the kitchen to throw together a chocolate sponge. Smells lovely, mind.
tarts
I just had another one. Terribly nice. Tiny little ones as well. From Safeways I believe. Mmmmm.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! You know I can actually FEEL myself stagnating today. This is not good.
chat
The thing is, strange people live in the MCiOS chatroom.. scary people..

Yay! I just won a prize!

winning ways
Well done, snorgle. Your statement begs the questions - what and what for?
stagnation
[st d] Glad I'm not the only one. Know what I did (nobody tell my boss, please). I stood up, announced I was going for a late lunch, then walked out of the building took a tube to Covent Garden and marched into the Back Rub Centre for 20 minutes of massage by a very attractive man. I came back and slipped into my desk with a cat and cream sort of expression. It may not have helped my productivity, but it sure as hell made me feel better.
chat denied
I can't MCiOSchat at work :o( but I can eat jam tarts, although right now we don't have any. We had mince pies in the office yesterday though :o). A weekly cyberpilg would be good - I sometimes see DrQ in there, and occasionally flerdle, usually 9pm-ish GMT. How about a Monday night?
And simulposted by Projoy - why can't I work closer to Covent Garden and the attractive backrub man? Tesco's mince pies down't sound a patch on a cat-and-cream expression after a session like that. (Mind you, there are runours of a company with its own rowing eight moving into the office suite next door to us):oD
Monday nights are probably quite sensible, since one's least likely to have a social engagement/evening class/rehearsal/major shopping expedition/press conference to launch Conservative leadership bid that night.
thumbs up for Monday
Bugger - that's the evening I usually have sex. Ah well, I suppose abstaining one day a week won't do any harm. :-)
curious companies
[pen] a Company with its own rowing eight?? I wonder if the contentious eightsome have to work in a separate soundproofed room so their 'loggerheading' doesn't disturb the placid ones?
smashing!
[Chalky] The new company has 'Porcelain' in its title (I've seen some early post in the lobby) so perhaps they're made to keep their oars elsewhere for fear of smashing the samples. I wonder where they keep their rowlocks?
Night-time
Monday nights sound good to me.
Cyber pilg
Do Monday nights suit non-UK MCers? It'd be particularly good if Dunx, Dr Q, Flerdle and Dujon et al can join in as they can't get to UK pilgs.

This Monday is out for me - I'm doin' my thing at a conference in Edinburgh. Three days of torment made good because of the location.

But I'll join in a week on Monday. I'll merrily settle down in front of the PC with a big drink and a cuddly toy (I've never been on a pilg but I believe this is the done thing).
llareggub
I'm looking forward to the new Under Milk Wood on R4 this Sat - thank God they've kept Burton.
Le Pilg à Cyber
I haven't tried the chat room recently from work; should be OK, since our firewall is reasonably permissive. And Monday night is probably a better bet in any case - the last time any kind of regular online MCing was attempted was with an IRC channel many moons ago, and I don't think there were ever more than about four people.
chat?
[snorgle] I didn't think I was that scary...

I have had several attempts at seeing if people could coordinate to turn up in the chatroom at some particular time, but it's never worked. However, pilgs have been great, and things seem to really take off when there's more than three people there (or more than one, which is more often the case). Now that there seems to be some sort of interest, of *course* I'll be around. When people are at wirk it just doesn't work, I think, so UK evenings are fine for me, especially now that the sun comes up earlier. Day of the week doesn't matter too much, although if I work that day I may have to leave by 11pm UK time (Sundays and Tuesdays, probably). Some days I can be around longer because I'll be working from home, so there may be a possibility of more US-Aus meeting more towards the US evening time, (even west coast). My possible times, of course, are only for the next two months, then I'll have to see how the net connection and a new time zone work. Monday night is fine. What other possibilities are there? Maybe broadcast the idea to the other two sites.

*lights candle, sings softly to self*

pilgs win prizes
[flerdle]I might manage a Monday, but can't guarantee I'd be there long..(it was JLE who was scary..:) I can't get into that chatroom at work, but home is fine. I think my computer is on its last legs(or something), but I've asked for one for Christmas, so you never know.. :) I won a trip up to London to see Love Actually - travelling up Friday, staying overnight and seeing the film the next morning..Yay!
Jealousy
Oh, I say, snorgle, well done!
What is it with ladies? My wife has been fortunate enough to win two (2!) trips over the last few years - well, ten or fifteen years - one to Fiji and one to Mauritius ... grrrr!
waaant prizes!
[Dujon] Not this one. hmph.

Well, if the activity in the chatroom last night was any indication, we could be in for a fun time when Mondays roll around :-)

*blows out candle, wanders off*

Whoops
Just remembered that on Monday night I too shall be in Edinburgh. [Bob] I'm in Embra on Mon/Tues nights. I expect you'll be tied up with your conferencing, but if you fancy a pint let me know and we could work something out.
prize!
Got the details in the post this morning (first class does still work sometimes..) and we'll be staying at the Hyde Park Towers Hotel, so I hope it's nice. Luckily I managed to get tomorrow off work without any trouble..
Mcpilg
rab] That'd be fab - Monday drawback is I'm a meeting between 6 and 8 ish. I arrive (if Virgin do their stuff) at 15.41 so I've got some time either early or late evening. Tues busy until 9ish. If you are still able to go for a drink - email me!
*zoing*
hippy
[rab]Are you being Shaggy?
Shaggy
[snorgle] Isn't that rather a personal question?! But so as I don't become the subject of unfounded allegations I should point out that that's the sound of an email winging it's way to Bob the dog.
Rooby rooby roo!
ADD
Just to return to the subject again, oh wait jam tarts.....
ahem I had an ADD moment last night. I was watching a film which, whilst enjoyable, was not exactly the most demanding in terms of plot or dialogue After 45 minutes or so I found myself fidgeting and eventually I was balancing cigarettes on my hat, just to keep a bit more of my mind occupied. I wondered if this has something to do with it, maybe my brain requires more than an 'average' amount of stimulation and that maybe this could be related both to ADD and OCD? If I'm suitably engrossed in something, most of my OCD evaoprates only to return when I get bored again. Discuss?
bored
Sounds like you were just bored FG. I mean, its understandable really. What I am interested in though (and this may sound flippant but is a serious enquiry) is the hat/cigarette thing. Were you balancing the cigarettes whilst in the packet ? Or were you balancing single cigarettes on their end (far trickier) Were you wearing the hat ? What kind of hat was it ? Were the cigarettes lit ?
Mad? Me? Who says I'm mad? Mad am I? That's what those fools said in medical school. Could a madman do this? Hahahahahaaaa!!!!
[FG] Not wanting to bore on this topic any more than necessary, but yes, the more engrossed I am in something the less OCD I am, and the less, the more, if you see what I mean. But I think this applies to everyone to some degree. Aristotle says that the only people who eat sweets at the theatre are those who are bored by the play, the point being that there's no such thing as generic "pleasure", but rather each activity has its own pleasure, and the more engaged you are in an activity, the more you enjoy it. In other words, you can't completely enjoy two things at once, because they will compete for your attention; and conversely, if you aren't enjoying something, your mind will try to find something else to enjoy. Discuss.
I'm bored, too
Heavy, saucer-shaped object they throw in athletics competitions. Discus. sorrysorrysorry
Fidgeting
I can't sit still, especially in things that I'm required to sit still for. My mum refuses to sit by me at the theatre as i'm constantly shuffling in my seat and my boyfriend clobbers me when i fidget whilst sat next to him at the cinema. Its not cos I'm bored (as I'm often accused of) I just get un-comfy so feel the need to move.
numb-bum
[Lib] I find lot of theatre and cinema seats are rather uncomfortable at about the one hour stage. Shuffling is somewhat necessary.
stretchy legs
[Lib]I try to sit in the front row or on an aisle seat - more leg room that way.
Chat
Apparently, the MCiOS chat room does work for me at work. This is good. I should be along on Monday, meetings permitting.
The Kiki Thing
[FG] I know what you mean. I find some meetings to be similarly frustrating.
Hats
[st d] It's a wooly hat. It was on the floor. It was knitted by my mum with big thick wool and consequently (a) stands up on its own, and (b) has holes in it especially a nice one in the top. I managed to get a cigarette wedged in the hole, pointing vertically, and then attempted to balance another one on top of that, and so on. Quite a challenge actually, I never made it further than one on top of another.
Fag balancing
I remember a book by Julian Barnes in which someone lies on her back and smokes a cigarette all the way down without tapping it out, so that a thin grey column of ash is balanced perilously on top of her lips. She then reveals that she had stuck a hairpin down the length of the cigarette before lighting it to hold it together. If I knew how to smoke, I'd use that trick to impress girls.
If I knew...
[BM] Surely there must be some evening class you can go to.
For some reason I thought BM was going to give us the low-down on the ping-pong ball scene from Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. Its a great trick for impressing the boys...
ping pong
Oh how I laughed... What's the trick? It's dead easy!
What the?
After running in the high teens and low twenties, the weather has turned = 36°C as I type. Urrgh. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with that - it's tonight I'm worried about.
Someone broke the weather
That's interesting, here on the east end of the US we've had the opposite problem - High of 60ºF and low of 30 one day, high of 30 and snow the very next day.
Ping Pong
[BtD] Oh, if only I knew the low-down on that...
[Dujon] Where do you live?
talking of the weather...
It's a cracking day here in the mid-south of dear old Blighty... an azure blue sky, fluffy while cloudy things and lots of smiley faces .. especially on rugby fans.. Kinda makes me glad to be alive.
Outlook uncertain...
Lovely day here in mid UK too. I wonder what Edinburgh will be like?
Embraclime
According to my guest from that fine city, it's been warmer and drier than Manchester. Though that doesn't surprise me.
A porridge of high pressure
rab] Good. I shall bring mt Bermuda kilt!
for mt read my.
A boys weekend
Not only was the weather good here but the wife (and mother of three) left on Friday for a weekend of shopping with some of her friends, returning after tea today. Just a quick tidy up half hour before she arrived...a free weekend of no 'lists of thing-to-do', no 'we can't sit around here all day', just coke,crisps, playstation and the occasional nappy...easy.

Meanwhile over at Celebrity MC mini league Chalky takes over from DrQ at No 1, and staight in at No3 is the mysterious x_sugarbabe_x

slacking off and daq-ing off
[Inkspot] Lovely! I managed to grab about three hours of my own company this afternoon. I built a log fire and sprawled in front of the TV. Grand.
Re: Celebdaq ... yes, that daughter of mine is going to be SO smug when she sees how well she's performing. Strangely enough - I put all my pounds on the same person as she did after divi-time last Friday .. and today she has somehow managed to get ahead of me. Beginner's luck I say.
dak dik dak dik _ dak dak dik dak

Grumbles something about 'children these days!' and heads for the shed.
to do lists
Inkspot] Sounds like you should make her a list with: 1.leave me alone Please ! and 2. Stop making me lists and: 3. realise that not only CAN he sit around all day and do nothing, but he finds it remarkably therapeutic.
cross-posting
[To all Radio4 listeners] 1830 GMT tonight is the first of the new series of ISIHaC from Winchester. I'm hoping to hear myself laughing.
wish lists
Chalky]Three hours in a single afternoon? to yourself? Now that's sounds wonderful, I'll exchange you that for my Tom the toddler ("Read books daddy", "Do puzzle daddy", "Train track...", "Play cars...")The other two being 9 and 12 can be left to their own devices.

On second thoughts ignore that, I wouldn't change him for anything...
st d] It's not the just lists but the silent looks, perhaps Chalky could give some insight ;)

A plea
Why are there only two of us playing Mornington Crescent? :(
annoyed glares
[Inkspot] Doubt if I can share any insights, not knowing if the lists/silent looks are aimed at your role as a husband [B&Q, DIY, manly household chores] or father [guidance & gainful occupation of young things]. To be honest, I'm a fan of the school of 'sitting round all day at home with the TV/video/DVD/Playstation/CDplayer/piano/PC/Internet' especially when there's little ink smudges to look after.
Children actually enjoy sharing stay-at-home-stuff with relaxed adults.
I think there's far too much - [oh dear - high horse alert] - "Oh yah, to develop their full potential, little Venetia and young Felix are always occupied with ballet, moderndance, jazz/tap dancing, drama, horseriding, t'ai chi, judo, karate, kick boxing, cordon bleu vegetarian cookery, screen printing, blah-de-blah classes and isn't my 4-wheel drive so handy for running them around in?" Bollocks to all that. As long as they walk regularly, go swimming as often as possible, and actually spend some time with their parents, they usually turn out OK.
[Ahem - that is, provided their parent/parents are normal :-)]
adults
Hurrah! A non-neurotic parenting-type! Any room on that horse for the rest of us?
zk
Maybe they've got us on ignore...
ignorami
[AP] No chance Pet! I'm assuming that most of the 'onliners' last evening were in the chat server in MCiOS. I even leapt off my high horse to join 'em.
late chat
[Chalky] Ah, the pantomime. I was still chuckling about it even as I wwent to bed. There were a few more characters that I forgot to own up to... although this may have been before you came in. I was also the rocket and the Qualified Master Sofa Assembly Technician (who was ejected into high orbit when CdM pressed the eject button on the old sofa).
guffawing
[pen] Wonderful stuff - if I'd had more wits about me [or less vino IN me] I would have worked out how you managed that without my noticing. *plots fiendish strategy for next time*
Ah-ha!!
[pen] So it was you!! I think flerdle must have been the Door-to-Door salesperson - no idea who the monkeys were though. And I wasn't impersonating anyone. It was all I could do to keep myself upright on the chair most of the time. I wish I could have stayed :-/
*innocent*
I wasn't anybody other than myself. And I stayed to the very end. Seven hours in all. *was insane*
Oh, and I did get work done today. Honest, guv.
chatty
I was planning to do stuff last night, but so much for that.. :)
owning up
I was the Door-to-Door Salesman and one of the Shakespear-quoting monkeys - although I'm not sure who the other one was. I was sniggering so hard throughout I had aching ribs and cheeks by the end of the evening. As a form of laughter therapy, I reckon that would cure anything :o)
two windows
[Chalky] You just have two chat rooms windows open side-by-side. At one stage I had three - there was me as penelope, the (Retired) Firework Salesman, and the rocket, which fortunately didn't stay in the room very long as I was having trouble keeping track of what was what by that stage.
Regrets
It was a riot. I really wish I could have stayed, but playing from work and trying to work is too difficult for my brain to cope with.
roles
I was just me. Oh, and the IKEA delivery person, of course. And my apologies to everyone for being so non-communicative -- I kept getting tied up in these long work phone calls that required my brain.
I missed this. Will another be arranged?
[BM] It seemed like Monday night was a good night to meet, so it may happen, to a larger or smaller extent, any Monday from here on in. Or any other time. I think some people might be there this Saturday afternoon too. Check here for other announcements of a gathering-type nature.
chatroom
How does one find the chatroom?
Over yonder
Tina] On the MC5 front page there is a link to Orange and MCiOS, under the clock, click on "the Real time chat server Beta", enter your name. Whatever you do, don't press the red button!
chatroom
Thanks Inkspot.
What a load of fucking crap this site is, compared to Pants. No wonder I've left
Refusing to accept that that was the 'real' Rosie.

My apologies - that should have read:
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes. I shall endeavour to join those who may partake of the delights of the 'chat room' next Monday - I shall most likely be a wee bit late (assuming I make it at all) as 8pm on Monday to most of you is 7am to me on Tuesday.
monkey-business
[penelope] The other monkey was Phil.
simian episodes
[flerdle] Phil, was it? Cheeky monkey. He was poking fun at me all night. Just tell him I know where his pub is...
EEEEEEEEK!
My Celebdaq went all pink and has Simon Cowell on it! GAAAAAAAH!
Backchat
Sorry I was unavailable on Monday. I was engaged in an alternative form of chat with Bob the dog. It was a bizarre experience - there was no delay between send and receipt of message, furthermore the conversation didn't get out of synch with itself and we were able to teleport alcoholic beverages to one another in real time. I don't think my brain can cope with the sensory overload, and I'll have to revert to the old-fashioned style next week.
Brooms
Oh... and I feel it might be time to get the brooms out and cobweb away some of the games that are starting to putrify. Someone want to set the ball rolling?
Sweeping
I placed a fairly strong hint in the Carpe Diem game, though no-one seems to want to be The One Who Finished A Game.
Clang!
Just dropped another hint in the Centurion game.
Marvellous
Those were the two that were at the top of my list for treatment. So folks - remember the rules: revivals of old classics require a case for support.
alternative form of chat
Rab] Most enjoyable. Would be very happy to attempt further teleportations at some point in the future. Conference over, I am now sitting in an internet cafe in Waverly station awaiting my 8 hour train journey home.
New Game] never contributed but always enjoyed the longwinded game on !York...
Huit heures
[Bob] Do you have a bit of a long onward journey at your destination (as train conductors like to put it)? I wouldn't have thought it would take that long to get to where you're going...
Please, please, please, please, please?
There is a spare game slot. Would anyone mind if I started up a Lost Consonants Cat Room, so as to get out of the darkened cupboard that is the old game on MCiOS?
[Im] Well I dot min at all.
*hands Kim a torch and firmly shuts the cupboard door* I'm kidding!! I jet!
.. and now for the game of Mornington Crescent
Although there are plenty of MC variants scattered around the other two sites, might it not be appropriate to use one of the two available slots in here for a new one? We only have the Long Game. Perhaps an Imposters version of some sort ... like Literary giants? Or an old classic that I'm not aware of.
Guests
I think there's two slots, so we could accomodate both Kim and Chalky.
acknowledging
Hmmm rab .. I think I'll wait to see if there's any support for my idea, or even an alternative suggestion/theme, eg. a couple of weeks ago, Huxley mentioned [in MCiOS?] the Worldwide Underground Station map which drew some favourable murmers. Mind you, I haven't seen him around much lately.
[Chalky] Indeed - there was that; also I recall (possibly) Boolbar suggesting a story game in which each player pastiches an author of his or her choice. This could be interesting...
Oddly....
...it appears that someone has decided for the masses. Oh, and the worldwide map was from me. The author game was each player "plays" an author continuing the ongoing story in their own style and trying to introduce their own characters and elements whilst removing the other authors stuff. A sort of Authors Tag Wrestling.
Yeah - what's that all about? Sound charades is up and running at Orange so there's no need for it here.
Also both new games violate the principle expounded 11 moves up. Does anyone ever actually read these things?
deciding for the masses
I just created 2 new games, cos I felt like it, which was actually purely coincidental. I wasn't trying to undermine any of the ideas on here, I promise!!! I didn't know about the sound charades at orange cos this is the only site I use *slinks away in to the corner feeling very very ashamed*
Resolution
Comments from the floor please...
Oh dear. I've just spent ages combining my and Boobar's idea into an amusing posting for here, in a blatant attempt to 'sell' the idea - now it's all gone to waste. Humph. ?

Sorry ZK ... nothing personal :-)

reading back a bit ....
I'm afraid I had a crack at you [ZK] in the Balls Game - sorry if it seemed a bit snappy. As you're probably feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing- would you like rab to 'retract' the new games, then we can go back to where we were in the discussion process?
[rab] Is that possible?
Um...
[Chalky] It might involve closing the site for a few minutes, cos although in principle I know how to do it, in practice there could be traps for the unwary... (mostly because I've not had to do it before).
Surely you can just play MC to end the games....
end the games
well - shall we just 'end' the new games before they've begun, by using the magic words .. or does that mess up the Modern Classics archive bit?
simul-posted
[Boobar] Sorry - I simul-ed. And apologies for not crediting you with the World Map of Underground Stations a little while ago :-)
AGAIN!
Jeeeeeez - I've apologised 4 times in the last half-hour.
Sorry.
[Chalky] I'm sorry to hear about your apologising problem. I hope it isn't catching!
Endings
[rab] Trust me - you do not want to be in a position where you have to learn how to retract games rapidly.
Sorry to interrupt, by the way.
Other Endings
I'm seriously wondering whether we should end the Lies game, not because it is moribund but almost precisely because it isn't: have it go out on a high, so to speak.

thinks: I wonder if there is legs in games which never end, but which automatically drop off the front page if unused. Kind of half games which don't count against the game limit but which would be, as it were, already won when they're started. Hmm...

Phantom games
As long as people don't mind there being weird zero-move games in the archive, then not formally erasing them from the database gets my vote. I think I know how to remove things as though they never existed, but that's all a bit sinister and not very nice.
So...
A new game slot! What shall we do with it?
The Authorised Version
[Boolbar] Going back to the Authors .. *thinks* .. combine my Imposters MC idea with Boobar's pastiche using both writers/poets AND characters from literature - such as:
'William Shakespeare:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
Thus Shoreditch tavern proffers alms to me.
Bridget Jones:
Gah to your poxy tavern Willy-boy! The off-license in Shepherds Bush has a token collection scheme for cut-price chardonnay.'

OK - so perhaps my example is a bit crap, but you get the gist?

I have to say, I'm favouring the MC Game idea more than the continuous story - only because the recent StoryGame in MCiOS took off like a rocket and fizzled into the ether rather too quickly.

Or - gasp - you could have a story game with no MC connections at all...
backing off
rab - wasn't that the style of the MCiOS one I mentioned above? Whatever - I've made enough noise for one day - I'm still relatively new to this site and wouldn't presume to start a new game in any case. There must be all sorts of great and original ideas from the afficionados out there :-)
sotto voce
Quickfire Patience Mornington Crescent while we're waiting, anyone?
pen...
someone called ? :oD woof woof !
New games
Oh, please, not a longwinded game! I still haven't recovered from the last one. Over a year on, and I haven't yet even had the strength to open the folder it's all compiled in, and see if I want to actually try and make it into a proper novel.
I have always fancied the idea of a Who do you do? kind of game - moves in the style of famous (or obscure, in my case) authors - I tried to get the recent MCiOS story game moving in that direction, but there were few takers. I'd quite like to play a standard game of MC at some point - there seem to be only the Long Games going on atm.
But maybe there's an entirely new game out there somewhere, and all it needs is a little inspiration...

But not from me, obviously.

Pisces
I should perhaps iterate that our resident custodian of exotic fauna (trans. Zooological Keeper) is of course still welcome to ply his or her trade in these grounds. Today's little flurry of activity should not be taken as a signal of any animosity or resentment. I am merely keen to see a selection of games that will keep a reasonable number of people moderately happy for an undeterminable length of time. My personal stance (for that be the box into which I type) is that variety and originality are two virtues that have been shown to achieve that aim. I would say we don't always need a committee decision before starting a new game if the idea is particularly unusual/cute/timely/whatever; on the other hand, since slots tend to be at a premium (and I see no need to raise the limit1), it's probably a good idea - particularly with the those that come round often - to see if at least a couple of others are up for it. </Jerry's_Final_Thought> *group hug*

[1] Unless offered huge wads of cash, or favours to a similar value.

Gosh, people have figured out how to use the words "Mornington Crescent"...
Activity! Well done folks, a bit of pruning never hurt anybody. Or maybe it did, but as long as their in the minority, they'll have to lump it.
Re: the remaining slot, some sort of impostors, or in fact any of several of the suggestions above'd do. If anyone can think of anything new and exciting, go for that.
Re: what pen said, is it worth filling the time with a quick MC bash? An eleven-move puzzle one'd be what I'd post if it's still free soon.
more stories
I would be in favour of one of the story game, but with the rider that each is a short between 10-15 moves, roundabout 100 words a posting (not written in stone). Looking at the recent games of this type there is an initial flurry followed by a slow death. By reinventing a topic every several moves could allow various impostered authors amemding the style to suit. As I'm not widely read I may need to come as a character Dennis the Menace!

In other news Celebdaq is back up and I've finally made to the Players Chart front page...at No 30. Still along way to go to beat penelope who managed No6.

Errr....
[rab and all] I know I'm only fairly new around here and I don't want to tread on any toes. I think that Rab is absolutely right in that a proposal for any new game should be able to demonstrate some support. I think, from my last posting, that I have support from Penelope and Boolbar and an accommodation from Rab, so, unless there are howls of disapproval in the meantime (or some other basard nabs the slot, I will start it up tomorrow morning (GMT).
Celebdaq
Does anyone else absolutely hate the new Celebdaq look? It's bloody annoying..
the end of the list..
You know the game right down at the bottom - the one called 'oooh, I wanna try this'? Well, I've broken it. I didn't start it, btw, and I have no idea who Jack O'Neill is, but I was demonstrating and, rab, I'm sorry, it came away in my hand.
Daq
[snorgle] I don't mind it all - to be honest I found the old one somewhat dark for my liking.
Celebcaq!
[Dujon]I liked that retro look. I don't like my new icons, either. *pouts*
Game ideas
I like story games. But they tend to work best when:
a) all moves are around 1 line each (I'd point to the long-lived Film & Crescent series on !York if !York were up)
b) the moves are anonymous (e.g. this one, maybe because of multiple movers)

But I'd also like a round of "Misheard Lyrics". A bit like Spellcheck Songs (remember that from !York?), except we rewrite chosen songs using soundalike words (not lookalike words). The last game was popular, as long as we kept the songs short

Query
Hmm, some nice stuff in that referenced game, MF. The song bastardisation - how did that work? That is, one line per post or the whole kit and caboodle? This sort of thing, or am I missing the point?

"My Way" (Frank Sinatra)

Kow-tow, they send the beer;
Ah so I'll brace for the coming burton.
Please lend, me some buckshee
To save my face, or it's the slate on....

Yes, I know it's not good - just off the top of the head stuff: but is that the idea?

Eggs sealant!
Eck! Sacked Lee, thee I'd hear!
I said in the original, "write as much as you feel like"; Blob usually went and wrote the whole kit and caboodle. Gimme a sec...
That should do it...
Try here
Hmm, 4 minutes isn't bad!
Interesting

Thank you for your trouble

Sorry for the delay - I've been fighting the Geocities' pop-ups. ... :-)

Do you think it will work? There seemed to be few contributors on that one - although, even though I'm terrible with lyrics, it sounds intriguing.

After the storm
[Chalky] Reading up a lot (my word, you people typed a lot today) I've tried to find this game you had a crack at me in, but can't, so no offence taken! :)
[Duj]
thank you, yes, yes and yes. Like I said, if people kept their contributions (and the songs) short, it'd go better. And, hey, the new-found PantsMC talent'll make short work of the whole thing!
'avin' a fink
Well, I'm not going to wax lyrical about the thought so, being somewhat backward about coming forward in these matters, I shall await further comments. Given that it's early morn in the U.K. at the moment I'm assuming that any critiques will not be posted until such time as a few hours have passed us by.
Early morning
Must...go...to...sleep....
Nods
New game
So, will someone fill the slot with a game that more than one person actually wants to play before some oh so hilarious wankwit comes along and starts one with a ridiculous winning move?
Nods
The job puns seem to have gone down well on the lies game. I think this warrents a game of its own so we can all get on with bullshitting as ...so help me God intended. Unless there is an outcry in the next 15 minutes - this I will do.
Rab] 7 and a half hours to get to Stratford from Embra. Home at last - and knackered.
Dons
[Bob] Oof... don't I feel terribly northern with a mere 4 hour trek? I trust your shennanigan met an appropriate level of success.
Jobsworth
[BtD] Surely we've overdone the job puns? - we need a different thingy to get our teeth into.
shennanigans
rab] my input was particularly successful, although the conference created a huge amount of controversy...
Bool] Yes I agree, but I still think it could carry on in a themed way - e.g. relatives, the wild west, puddings etc.
recall of parliament
Has there been agreement between Lost Consonants Cat Room and a story type game

make that one more for the Lost Consnants

*raises had for lot consonants*
thirded
I agree on lost cosnants - but I still think it is time the lie game got back to some good ol' bollocks - hmmm...
Quoracy?
Would anyone lie to do the honours? I'm not very good at witty tiles.
Another hit game has begun...
In the pink
[Celebdaq] I like it, a lot more clear and easy to use. The colours could be a little less pink though. What surprised me is that I'm 4th after a pathetic % increase.
Kak 'daq
Sorry - I think the new look's utter pants (no connection with defunct MC site intended). And it's bloody slow, as well...
CelebDrag
I'll agree on the slow bit.
Cyber pilg
How did it go? Will there be more?
chattermongers
[Bob] Mayhem and insanity - and yes :-)
If you can be bothered there's some postings in here a couple of pages back.
please ignore my dreadful grammar
*resists urge to make a horrific pun*
Boo!
I wanted to call it: "Lost Consonants: this time its persona!"
woooooooooooooooo
It's pretty quiet in here - mind you, my home computer has fallen over and can't get up, so I can only access from work for now..*sniff*
Wakey-wakey
[snorgle] I'd wondered where you'd been...

[all] Good weekend?

Weekend Loveliness
It was until I was awoken at 2:30 am this morning by a mouse which sounded like it was tearing floorboards apart with its teeth.
Rugby club bonanza
Boolbar] Are you sure it wasn't a giant, white, unbearably cute mouse?
I had a good weekend apart from the R A I N. I was also vaguely aware of England’s rugby victory (I found out on Sunday morning) - which was pleasant. What was unpleasant, however, was Christmas shopping on Sunday and having to tip-toe through a minefield of pavement-pizzas - a memento of local folks celebrations.
Weekend
Mac Expo on Friday afternoon, where I picked up a copy of Panther (MacOS 10.3), followed by spending the weekend in a hotel on a personal development course. Someone announced the rugby result at some point, and half the people went "YES!" and the other half "hm?". 20-17 in the last twenty seconds of extra time, apparently.
hm?
Raak] Do you feel personally developed as a result of your course?
Ooops - re reading that it sounds dreadfully rude - I didn't mean to be. What I mean was ...erm ..well, what is a personal development course?
personally developmented
[Raak] I would love to hear more. When I worked on a national newspaper many moons ago - they sent a group of us on one of those weekends. If I remember correctly, it was a hoot. I'm wondering if 2003 methods are less ... ahem ... aggressively american.
ISIHaC - round 2
Tonight at 1830 GMT. It was much funnier than the first episode broadcast last week.
Are we meeting tonight?
ce soir
[Rab] Usual tme, usual place. I'll be the one wearing a pink mink.
yesyesyes
... and I'll be cunningly disguised as a bricklayer's mate.
The enlightened being is [IN]
[Btd] Well, I found it worth while, though it would really be up to whoever knows me to judge the effect, if any. [Chalky] Do you remember what group it was? There are a lot of these things (perhaps less so now than ten or twenty years ago), and yards of self-help books in all the bookshops. I expect that Sturgeon's Law applies. I'll write more when I have time this evening.
Pilgy Pilgy
Probably won't be along this evening since I've a lot on at work today, what with the three day week and all.
Uselessness
Apologies for uselessness but what's the "usual" time? 8ish?
Excuses . . . .
Alas, I'll be working out in the gym. Then I'm chasing mice and putting doors up.
chasing through rooms
[Boolbar] If you put the doors up first, you can then shut them and therefore won't have so far to chase the mice. Also (if the mice co-operate) can the chase not be part of your workout? Could you persuade them to run at half-pace for the first ten minutes, then full-pelt for 15 minutes, then a cool down pace for the final ten? It would seem to be the organised thing to do.
Lost Consonants
[Kim] Surely that should be "his tie is personal"
M/R/S INKSPOT - HELP
A rather red faced Dujon appears before his accusers; "It wasn't me, Guv" He says. "The blasted Windows machine suddenly started opening windows everywhere and in my desperation to stop such infidelity I clicked all over the bloomin' place." He added, "Then I found I was no longer a member of the celebrated..." *sobs* "Mornington Crescent League on the Internet."
"Can you please put me back in there?"
"Sorry!"
Member No.: 3256726, Reg. Name: DUJON2774
Back in
Look what you have done! zipped in at No2.
The last time I looked I was the father of wonderful three boys ;)
Patch the dog
Last nights ball-gown cyberpilg was very amusing. By an incredible coincidence, this was in my mailbox this morning...

Its New, Its Safe!
Its The Most Advanced Penile Enlargement Solution! !
It's 100% Guaranteed To Enlarge Your Penis. 3+ INCHES!
MAGNA-RX PATCH! Etc etc

So now I know…

PS. I was under the impression that someone was transcribing events – or at least cutting and pasting. Is this correct, and if so, can I have a copy?
Transcript
I've got a bit of it, but I think DrQ's got the whole lot waiting for him on his machine at work. I guess it'll put in an appearance sometime this afternoon.
Weapons of Mice Destruction
[pen] Now why didn't I think of that . . . I used chemical warfare on the mice. Peppermint oil down the gaps in the floorboards that they want to get through. Didn't get as far as hanging the door.
As I was leaving the gym a young slim female was looking my way so I tossed my towel nonchalantly over my shoulder, only for the towel to land slap over my head. I guess it's a good job I'm already married.
throwing in the towel
[Boolbar] But you would have made her laugh - and that, probably above all, is what women like. Speaking personally, making me laugh would go a long way to making a man attractive to me. Our mate Phil the Landlord (who was working on a business proposal at the time) kindly help me draft a marriage proposal in the chatroom last night, but unfortunately it expired before I could use it. :o(
Laughter
Women like MONEY and IDIOTS.
an unvarnished truth
[st d] Yes, because both make them LAUGH. QED.
Dr Q has posted the link to the transcript of last night's cyberpilg in Orange 'Pilg game' - it's taken me a whole HOUR to speed-read it.
Yes. By the way, is Buttercup a regular visitor to the Crescent? I've been looking around for him/her.
Buttercup
Someone mentioned last night, when asked the same question, that 'Buttercup' is the person known as pl ... the pl person was around last week and is very funny.
Yes, I'd picked up on that... so presumably this is a 'chat-only' guise. Well the more the merrier, certainly! And it was pretty merry last night I thought. Toga party next week?
chat-a-tat
Aww! I'm sorry I missed that.. I have a blokie coming to look at my home computer tomorrow and hopefully he'll sort it out. It's acting very strange and will only boot in safe mode now. I can't work out what's wrong with it. Very annoying!
Diagnosis
[snorgle] I think the problem is that it's broken.
[Chalky] Before my intention to say some more vanishes off the top... The course I was on does come from the States originally, founded by two Anglican priests (although there's nothing specifically religious involved) something like 25 years ago. Difficult to say much concrete, really. It's mainly about learning to see things as they are, and noticing when we stop doing that. Just look at a lot of the postings in the Advice game at MCiOS for examples of the stuff people come out with when that happens. They're posted there in fun, of course, but how often do you hear people saying things like that in real life?
beta-talk
I had not been in a chat room before last night and enjoyed it greatly. Although I did not contribute very much(sorry), I'll try and do better next time, but my typing speed is tortoise slow.
paws are not so good to type with...
Inkspot] Thank heavens someone else is in the same boat! I nearly fell over in awe at the laser-wit demonstrated by some contributors - very notably Néa and Pen. Great evening – especially following on from the classic ISIHAC earlier.
Apologies for not being able to make it last night. The internet was broken. Or at least the bit of it that leads to my house was. However, an internet-fixer came by today, and so I have home connection again. See you all next week, maybe.
Mr Inkspot!
Thank you kind sir.
Aunty's slow
'Tis ok.
Is it just me at the moment, as I'm getting error messages and pages just not loading when looking round BBCi news.
I was barely there Monday night after the initial flurry of activity - the phone line and/or/therefore the internet decided to die, slowly and horribly. Am not going to be around the next two, probably three weeks. A pity.

and Dujon: please check your email, see if mine got through to you, and let us know what you think... Thanks.

flerdle
Your message has been responded.
Typos notwithstanding
[BtD] I'm flattered - and encouraged that my distinctive typo style didn't detract from your enjoyment :o). Mostly it comes from snorting with laughter so hard that I can't see to type.
keyboard madness
[Dunx] I managed to access the internet last night, but then the keyboard doesn't seem to be working. Then it started beeping and random numbers appeared. I'm sure it must be a virus, as I can't think why my keyboard would suddenly go mad..

Also, when I switched my computer off, it seemed to switch off, but I realised later that the screen was off but the power was still on in the base unit..

[snorgle] I think your computer needs a good defenestration.
[snorgle] Or some good, old-fashioned percussive maintenance.
quick fix
BB/Wol] You are both wrong. I would rather suggest hitting it with a hammer or throwing it out of the window. Far more effective.
fencing
[Boolbar]That sounds rude! [Wol]Tried it already. [st dogmael]Sorely tempted..
a window on the world
Ooh, I love a good defenestration first thing in the morning...
Seriously ...
[snorgle] sounds like it could be a virus (My father-in-law had - I think - Bugbear, which stopped him from turning his machine off. Of course, he could just have unplugged it ... It also seemed to disable Norton anti-virus, but AVG found it in the end.) grisoft.com have a good, free anti-virus (AVG), and also utilities for extracting individual viruses once they have been identified.
*Wandering through dragging a teddy bear and sleeping bag*
I'm off to have my second nap of the day. Ooh! Aren't I lazy?!?!
awooga!
[Wol]The faults make it difficult to get to websites and do things.. Hopefully, the blokie tonight will sort it out.. [Lib]Yes you are! Wake up now!
[Raak] Thanks for that. Your experience sounds altogether less pushy, for want of a better word, than mine. Yes, it was about 18 years ago and to be truthful, I've been raaking my brains trying to remember the name of the organisation - I've even looked for the notes I made at the time. I recall that the lady who did most of the front work was called Ross. As well as being highly articulate, she was also extremely funny, which may be why my abiding memory is that of an immensely enjoyable experience. Your interesting observation regarding the Advice Game in MCiOS has prompted me to revisit, reread and revise my interpretations of some entries. Fascinating :-)
Training
I used to have great fun watching training videos for a well-known electrical company borrowed from a friend who worked for them. Themes included "How to recognise a customer" and "What do customers need?” My own experience of corporate indoctrination was when I worked for a record company and was sent on an induction day. It was a disaster. We had to offer our perceptions about customer responses to their TV ads. I told them the truth, that the ads were patronising and superficial. I lasted two weeks.
Can there be any better time to say the word "pendulum"?
hanging time...
[Thos] I don't think so. It shut us all up for five hours!
Disappointing news :o( My first new staff member was supposed to be starting on Monday but she's accepted another job instead. Poo. The next one starts on 15th December though...
Today I read a sign in the hosptial foyer.

"Due to difficulties we are unable to serve hot food in the resturant tonight. Please bare with us".

Not entirely sure how taking our clothes off will help, but willing to try!

Dr in Undressed Salad Scandal!
Uh...no comment. :)
Celebdaq
[Inkspot] I'm confused. After kneecapping on Monday, I used my ten grand to buy shares in J Wilkinson. I don't appear to have received any dividends at all. Does one have to stay with the same celeb for a full 7 days to qualify? Also - where to we find the 'Dividend Payout' List for today?
Just a final word about that course...I've actually done several of their courses over the last 10 years or so, as well as being on the organising team a few times. It's called "The Life Training", and in London it's put on every two months.
Johnny who?
Chalky] I am suprised that you have no divis as the payout is proportional to how long its been held, if a dividend is £7, and you hold that celeb from Tuesday, you will get £3, the big winners will be those that had like evil_edna who had the shares for all seven days. You can request a daily update email from the daq towers which on Fridays gives your payout plus details on divi of the week. Otherwise it means waiting till Monday when the full list will be published.
ps the reason for my long tem minus weekly gain is I have a cunning plan!
*cackle*
Jonny Wilkinson is my pretty boy! And I made it to No. 81 in the national table :o)
feeling a bit short-changed
[evil cackling woman] Perhaps there wasn't enough of him to go round - everyone wants a slice of him now :-(
Anything interesting happening in MCiOS or Orange? My ISP isn't allowing me into either server - very annoying, especially as I'm having a quiet day at home and I've got time to play .... *sound of gnashing teeth*
Hmmm
I made the mistake of getting some Michael Jackson as well. Never mind. Well done miss evil :)
daqy
I got Michael Jackson as well.. better than nothing, I suppose.. it's probably not work going for Johnny next week now. At least my computer's working again! It was the keyboard, so one new keyboard later, and everything's fine.
ISPants
[Chalky] Hmm, I can't get into outer space either...
Nnnnoooo...no pars-s-s-slow....
No chat...GAAAH!
dubious parentage
Now look here all you ex Pants chaps, it's just not cricket, shutting up the clubhouse like that when a fella's off writing a novel and not leaving a forwarding address! It was a good job a small trail of crumbs was left at the profiles page and a friend of mine called Lycos knew where you'd all gone. Consider yourself heartily rebuke, nay, castigated.
Novel post
Welcome Mr Coyote, yet another Pants refugee. I believe we are distant cousins?
Wile E Smiley!
*popping in to flash a grin at Wile E*. Am watching Channel 4's 100 Best Sexiest Scenes from the Movies and it's really rather good.....
Channel Phoar
*Curses the day he through the TV out*
Super Genius!
Welcome to our new home, WEC! And how is Marie these days?
Hello again!
[WEC] Sorry to find out that various messages were not passed on - it's so hard to find decent help these days! ... :-) Anyway, you have found a few of us; did you employ Sherlock?
[DrQ] I'm more worried about Jeeves, to be quite honest, after all he's the one who serves the drinks. Marie simply, well, err, serves otherwise.
The lovely Marie
Ah, it's heart warming to be greeted by friends both new and old alike. [Bob] Would you be the Bob of the Kensington 'the Dogs' who was splashed all over the society pages last year? [DrQ and Duj] I found Marie stood on the steps of the old Clubhouse scraping a living selling sacks (at least I thought that's what she said) and she must have been down on her luck poor girl because it seemed she had hardly a stitch to wear! I did indeed send her to procure the services of the great Mr Holmes but the last I heard he had employed a new housekeeper and had retired to bed. I fear he may be ill because that was two weeks ago and not a sound has been heard from him or Marie since! No news of Jeeves, I assumed he had been packed up with the other chattels of the club when everyone moved. I'll keep my ear to the ground.
carpet bugger
wec] 'Fraid not. No I'm one of the Bromsgrove chapter. However, I did make a splash in the society pages. As a result, I had to spend the rest of the day outside.
monopoly
Every time I look down the Home page I feel like an evil taking-over-type person! Just clarifying here that I don't do it on purpose...
jeeves update
[Anyone even remotely interested] Popped round the old place looking for any clue of Jeeves' whereabouts and heard an odd scratching sound. Turned out the old chap was asleep in the billiard room when you all locked up and he's been surviving on the contents of the belowstairs larder and discarded podumes ever since. He had planned to dig a tunnel to escape and the plan was well, advanced, he had just unupholstered a couple of the old wing chairs from the servant's lounge to make the top of the vaulting horse that he had fashioned from the Dom Perignon crates in the member's cellar when I broke in and tok him home. He was beside himself with glee and ached for news off 'his gentlemen' and I tol him that I had tracked some of them down at a swanky new club. He seemed utterly delighted and asked to come down in order to seek employment and to meet you all agan but I put him to work immediately, buffing up my favourite 'Crescent Jacket' and digging out my Lumpton Jr texts from the library so that I may fully immerse myself in play once more. It's for his own good. See you soon, must fly, he's preparing a sumptuous dish of Bernard's Turkey Drummers and Alphabites and I don't want to miss that.
Termination of Face Pyjamas
May I suggest a game of "Christmas Cards you wish you'd never received"?
Goodnight
[gil] Hmmm... sounds interesting. Perhaps one could also pastiche those "newsy" letters that people insist on sending round this time of year.
stupid pewter
Agh! My computer has flipped out again! It refuses to even start up now - I must complain to computer blokie as I think it was something he did.. (v. stressful, this..)
Pastiche and chips
Newgame] How would Christmas cards work? Like postcards from Hell? That never seemed to take off.
Round robin game? Yes! Finish off previous sentence, start next sort of thing?
This year Mary and I decided to
Takeoff
[Bob] Really?
Bob the dog sentence
murder our parents, who had long been
Erm, no then.
All] Same time same place tonight?
Rab] Ah! I've not seen that one, it looks better than the last one on !York.
snorgle] blackmailing us with photographs they took of us on holiday when we were three. Fortunatly for my parents they had
silly sentence
[Btd}...thought of this, and had boobytrapped their...
sn] catflap with gelignite. I was most suprised, a little singed and completely failed to
..effect a surreptious entrance. Seconds after the blast..
Aside
(sounds like a player - shall we get it going?)

...Mother responding by getting...

Tear in the space-time contiuum thingy!
Reverse the polarity! Divert all power to deflector! Issue 'date 1201190703.34' as root! Hopefully dialling the server's clock back an hour won't break MC5 too much...
Another vote for the Bob-the-dog sentence spectacular.
...out her feather duster...
Or of course we could always do Good News / Bad News.
Too late! The deed is done
Tuj] coming to the Online cyber-pilg tonight on the MCiOS chat server? The dress code is Cowboys 'n' Injuns.
New Game
OK. It kinda worx.
New Game
[gil] It seems to have turned rather quickly into Random Prose, though.
*** game
I was grateful to be reminded, at about 6.50pm or so yesterday, of the fantastic potential of Censored Songbook (from the King and I - 'shall we *****, shall we *****, shall we *****?'). Any takers? Possibly only subtly different from the Pants Game but, for me, right at the other end of the comedy spectrum (ie funny).
****
[Wol] Yes indeed. I second that one.
I **** it.
Item of cutlery in a hot place.
I guess we could all give it a ***.
Is it just me or is a huge chunk of the 'net unavailable today?
nonet
[Wol] I think it's ******
Did you have a good time in the chatserver last night? I spared you a thought but was too busy chasing after a puppy with paper towels and wetwipes.
I so hate Geocities!
***** game
[Wol] Is that a vote for ****ing the pants game?
Tried to access the chatserver last night but ***** internet connection in my residence won't let me. Hope a good time was had by all.
*Warning, self promotion moment approaching* I was on national radio this morning! (Well, me and about 100 of my friends). Singing a Christmas Carol (recorded in June) from our CD. Rather exciting!
*****
[rab] Why yes, I believe it is. [Boolbar] I **** cute little puppies. [Lib] Oooh - which choir? Which radio station? Which carol? I've dropped out of the singing world a bit (job, studies, baby, etc) but I remember the thrills.
sick puppy
That is a very pretty puppy. I would like to ****** it.
it is ****
I did it. I ****** the pants game. :o)
i bet you do
pen] I've heard that you like ******** as well.
So was it an early night in the Chat Server last night? I say that, because I breezed in at 11.45 dressed as The Gal Who Cain't Say No to be greeted by a party of two. Thankfully, they had mildly silly names, so i didn't feel like a complete twonk. There are times when it would be useful to have a 'peep through the window' facility :-)
chat windows...
[Chalky] We don't encourage voyeurs! You are always welcome to come in as you are, we don't mind if you're inappropriately dressed (we always have spare costumes in the cupboard anyhow.) I was calamity pen, by the way, and Ma Whisky (I think Projoy recognised me as his mother), and also the Dusty Missionary. Ooh - and Zak from the Pony Express and Will Bill Hiccup. I was not, nor ever have been, the Spittoon or the Daddy of All Spittoons. And I'm sorry I sat and wriggled on Breadslinger's knee, I was in character and I got a little carried away.
Down with ****s
[Chalky] Yeah - we were being tired, methinks. Peeping through the window would be handy - but would anyone ever enter?

So the *** game - is it entire songs, just titles or indeed non-song specific?

[pen] I was one of the spittoons and the daddy, but not concurrently.

Massive Missive Musses Trellis
[gil, Raak] With the missive, I wonder whether it would be best to push this one to the end of the year, and perhaps set down some sort of 'theme' or similar for the next?
******* Whiskey and Wild Wild Women
[pen, rab] Sounds more fun than a stuttering dress rehearsal. Three of the principals have lost their voices and it's the First Night tonight. Ho hum.
Fer Gawd's Sake someone start the new game before some bozo drops by and claims it for a round of Spit the Pontoon.
[Chalky] Be my guest.
first night breakages
Break A Leg tonight, Chalks! I had great fun in the wild west saloon, and the theme was all down to your mention of Oaklahoma, so thanks for that. I'm womdering what the venue for next week's meeting will be... the Sports Centre? A restaurant? A Country House Hotel?
small squeak
... not quite brave enough to start a new game ...

Thanks pen :-)

*CLANG!*
I was the original spittoon. How they teased me at school.
Pro Joy
Projoy] You made me so much last night I'll be sending you the laundry bill.
I think I was all the misspelt 'spitoons'...

[*** game] I would start this, but I need clarification on whether it's strictly a songbook (i.e. song titles), songs themselves (as I believe is the case on ISIHAC) or a more general game.

Missive T
Rab] You are right about MT game - it'd be better in bite sized portions. I wondered about a Jekyll and Hyde theme where player alternate personas. Bit like Goodnewsbadnews in letter format...?
Executive decision
Right - it's verses of songs (for now) but feel free to do poetry, short stories, or whatever else tickles your ****.
**** advice
I tried to start one of these **** games back at !York, but my poor attempt at explaining it (and its lack of having appeared on a then-recent ISIHAC) caused it to mutate and ultimately perish. Use it wisely, citizens of MC5.
[Wol] Hallé Orchestra and Choir, Christmas CD, on Classic FM at 7.50 this morning.
Missy Penny-lope, any time y'all wanna wriggle on ma knee, y'all go right ahead. Just watch out for ma spurs. Hhhhhhwaaaa-ding!
knee-sittin'
[Breadslinger] Did you have your cotton-pickin' eyes shut? It weren't no Miss Penny-lope a-sittin' on yer knee, it was mah own beeeootiful self!
blackballing Ma Whisky
Can we do something about that woman? She keeps following me around!
Wasn't Brian Ma Whisky the chairman of the Conservative Party under John Major?
Eeeew! And I let him sit on my knee!
Hmmph!
[Breadmaster] Pffft!
*CLANG*
* rolls slowly across the plain *
Ewired
I've just got me an evoke digital radio. Oooooooooh its soooooo good!
digirad...
Oooooh! Lucky you! I might treat myself to one for the kitchen after Christmas. Then I can listen to it while I'm surfing at home :o)
evocative
[Btd]I've had my eye on one of those..staticy radios are so-o-o-o-o annoying..
rad-ing the kitchen
[Btd, pen, snorgs] I'm still waiting for them to go down in price.
[pen] Sounds as though your PC is in your kitchen. Not so unusual really. I have a kitchen-cum-diner-cum-office, which rather places me in the centre of ground floor activity; fine if I'm home alone. It does lend itself to easy raiding of fridge, though.
gone digin'
This one was on special offer - I think because it is a 'classic fm' model and has a button to get you straight to there. I do not like classic fm very much so that button will (mostly) remain unused. Its the other channels I'm enjoying - BBC radios 6 and 7 are top of my list at the moment. 6 'cos it has interesting music and 7 because of the archived comedies including ISIHAC. And it has a pretty blue screen too.
writing in stereo
I bought a new stereo in september. When I was looking around I wanted a CD player, tape and digital radio combo, preferably in a mini hi-fi system with good speakers. However such a device is not made 9which seems a bit daft to me). Grrrr. So I just bought the stereo and will wait for a digi-radio to get cheaper. My bro has one though, so I might pinch it when he's not looking (in the evil-little sister way of doing things!).
cheapskate, me? The 7th Earl of Lancaster?
[Btd]The one I saw at Boots was £99, so how much is the Classic FM model? Is that the one at WH Smiths?
Yup - reduced to £71.
That was me by the way.
Personally I'd want a hi-fi separate digiradio, cos although these retro-style portables are all well and good I don't understand why you would want a high-quality, distortion-free digital signal piped through a three-inch speaker.
rab] This one has line out on the back (I checked before buying) - so I can (and will) use it with my seperates. And the speaker isn't bad at all!
random question
What countries are we all from on this place? I sometimes detect language/ideas from the other side of the pond, and I find it all very interesting.
countries
USA. Although I try to use the British spelling when I think about it.
Why, I'm in London. Where are you, ZK?
UK - Statford-upon-Avon.
[Bm] Kicking about a messy student flat in Birmingham :)
Kicking a dog about in a messy house in Bucks!
UK also..Birmingham also..Sutton Coldfield exactly
Oh, Angus...
[AP] (ignoring the obvious rspca-needing overtones) You just told me it wasn't that bad! :)
Kicking about in a small, scruffy semi in Herts. [Angus - where are you in Bucks? I'm just 500 yards from the county line, sheriff]
[Chalky] It's a laptop on the kitchen table. Very handy for grilling sausages while I surf, although there's never anything interesting left in my fridge. Sometimes I take the laptop upstairs to watch DVDs in bed :o)
Multi-tasking
[Pen] Does that mean that it is used as an electric frying pan cum hot water bottle? How often do you need to wash the bedding?
[Dujon] It only really needs doing if I fry fish.
Luxury
When I was small, I read a book in which a character declared that mangos should always be eaten in the bath, because of the mess. For years, eating mangos in the bath has been my idea of utter decadent pleasure. But I have since revised this to watching DVDs in bed on a laptop, which I now do frequently and with enormous satisfaction.
Eeek!
[Pen] *Urrgh!* ... ;-) [Pen & Breadmaster] Without mentioning names, there are some who frequent this web site who worry me!
Hang on, officer
Not those kinds of DVDs. Dear me...
thereabouts
I'm in Cardiff - which has finally got rather cold..
Pretty chilly in Mancatraz this morning too.

Got a delightful letter from my Grandma this weekend. My favourite comment was "The things that go on in the Villages. I could write a book about it, but they'd have to bin it.". I presume she meant that it would have to be binned because of the scandalous content, but with that combined with her rather free-form jazz writing style, there could be a Booker Prize in her...

Narrrch here, in the flatlands north east of London. Cold and sunny today.
CD DVDs?
[Dujon] Lord no, not those kinds of DVDs! The ones I can remember watching in bed are the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...and it's generally when I get 'flu, which isn't very often at all.
The NW London 'burbs are very bright and sunny. At 11.30GMT, my car is still thoroughly frosted over.
Icy here. The water inside the chicken coop froze last night. Poor chooks.
Is there a dress code for tonight? May I suggest Inuit?
[Bob] Bring your own igloo party? As long we can speak in English this week...
Cold?
It's -10 C here in balmy Pittsburgh, after Friday's 8-10 inches of thick, wet snow. Woo-hoo!
brr..
As my damn 'puters still doolally, I probably won't be there again.. :( I'll take a hammer to it tonight and try to threaten into submission, we'll see how that goes!
Geographically speaking...
Currently lurking in the Essex suburbs, to answer the earlier enquiry...
Location, Location, Location
[ZK] Portland, Oregon USA now, but formerly of various parts of the UK, and originally growing up in the fine Surrey outpost of Ilkley, W. Yorks.
random things one knows
Alan Titchmarsh grew up in Ilkley. Fact. Is Oregon east or west?
Orientation
[ZK] Of what?
[Location] Currently, just in Bucks (by about 300 yards from Beds) Very close to the Herts border, too - in fact, I drive through all 3 counties to get to work.
[Watty] Well that's a coincidence. I was born in Chorleywood, which happens to be on the Herts/Bucks border: I was born on the Herts side, by a couple of hundred yards. (A road actually runs along the border, and is appropriately called "Shire Lane" - the odd-numbered houses are Herts, the even numbers are Bucks. Or it may be the other way around.) Not so near to Berks or Beds, though.

Whereas, having gone to school in darkest mid-Somerset, now I live in Manchester...

The Titchy One
[ZK] Indeed he did - he's a patron of the theatre where I did some acting when I was growing up, and where my sisters still do.

Oregon is west coast. It's the state between California and Washington (Washington state being a completely different place from Washington DC, of course).

more interuptions
This has taken a bit longer than needed and its still not right I'm not happy about the table layout, the colours, border but finally, with my apologies for the late arrival, Dec 5 and Chalky has topped the Celebrity MC League.

At least I know slightly more than I did two weeks ago about style sheets, attributes, values and syntax, but I still need to do boxes and margins.

Oooh... nice!
[Inkspot] Nice table. I'm hanging onto Jonny Wilkinson for now ;o) even though he's gone down in value. Hoping that there'll be more about him in the papers after today's victory parade.
top chocolate
Well done Inkspot. I'm growing rather fond of my four green Mars Bars :-)
Cresdaq
How did everyone join that?
Joining Fees
[ZK] If you are interested in silly games, join up on the BBC web site, get sorted with registration and, if you ask nicely and advise your player name and number, Inkspot just might add you to the 'team'.
Where?
Sorry - it would help if I gave you an address:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/celebdaq/trade.cgi?registershow=1

Celebdaq tables
[Inkspot] Unless you are deriving some pleasure out of composing your own table, why not use a screen capture program? I hope that I am not being rude, as I do appreciate your time and trouble spent on this 'game'.
If you are interested, there is a freeware programme available at This site
An example of its output can be seen here.
That, by the way, is my one and only attempt so I'm sure it could be improved.
Hmmm
Then again, it's a bit big. I'll take that back. ... :-(
speak up!
Is anyone going to say anything today?
[pen] Still in shock from last night...
[rab] I should imagine you're exhausted . .
?
So will anyone admit what went on? It's very mysterious...
mystery
[snorgle] rab rode a bicycle around the chatroom (which relocated to an igloo last night) for about two hours. Nothing remarkable about that, you might think, until you realise the saddle was made of ice. I think he might also be suffering from being in the company of Lib in a mackerel-skin basque, Chalky in Lycra and me in a seal-skin bikini. That's a lot to take in. ;o)
We also had a visitation from a nude Jade Goody. Least said, soonest mended.
oooh rab - your SO SWEEEEET!!!! I fort youd say summink NHAAHAHAHHH!
Am I dreaming?
That was NOT me... I know I'm responsible for a lot of weird stuff in the chatroom on a Monday night, but I wouldn't dream of inviting Jade Goody on here... honest. Naaahahahahhahh!
This places Chalky firmly in the frame...
What's happened to Mr Wildpants' Mornington Crescent site? I've lost Puckoon to the ether...
A Death in the Family
[Mr T] Sadly, Pants MC went the way of all flesh a couple of months ago. The Lock Cup has been transferred to the new Lockisseum site, but players of other games have been finding a warm welcome here and at the other MC sites which remain.
Igloo pilg
Damn - had to miss it because of deadlines and computer problems. It sounds like it was a classic. Will the transcripts go up on Orange?
And welcome Mr T. All you need is here.
oooh missus
[Bob] I'm afraid the link to the transcript is already there. *blushes*
Hello Mr Trebus :-)
exciting happenins
My computer is being mended again - but I'm getting a new one for xmas, a nice shiny new computer with dvd re-writer and flashing lights(maybe)! Yay!
Speaking of the late Pants MC....
Does anyone know if Rosie is posting anywhere these days, following his little flounce-out of here a little while back?
Hello Bigsmith
Dujon may know a little more. Yes, a petulant flounce is certainly what it was. Seems we weren't quite good enough for him :-)
Yeah.
Does anyone know what all that was about? I'm all for constructive criticism, but I thought his exit comment was rather uncalled for.
[rab] I was rather hoping it was a misdirected moment of madness in the wee small hours after one pint too many, so was waiting for some form of apology or even explanation. I agree that the comment was crass and puerile; as for what lay behind it, one can only surmise that, as a mature adult, Rosie had his reasons. A dignified exit would have, at least, demonstrated a modicum of respect for you, the host.
rab] I thought some arsehole had posted using his name.
[Bob] Me too, which is why I didn't think too much of it at the time.
Time out on rugby ball
Oh sh*t. You know I was chatting about my fabbo date planned for tonight with the rugby coach? Well it's off. His grandfather 'died this morning'. It's either a big lie to get rid of me, or his grandfather did it deliberately to f*ck up any chance I had of graduating out of my enforced spinsterhood. Either way, I'm taking it personally. *reaches out blindly for proffered hankie from sympathetic MC-fivers*
a clean handkerchief
[pen] Aw! And I was just about to post a 'break a leg/wing bone/bottle of bubbly' sort of message to you because I'd remembered that tonight was supposed to be the night. Intending no disrespect to his grandfather who may/may not have passed on today/recently/ages ago, it's probably for the best. You know what they say about men who talk about themselves all the time ....
and a box of choccys.
pen] Either he has no imagination or he is telling the truth. Either way you win!
*sniff*
Thanks you two. I'm going to spend the evening in a Bridget Jones way, wrapping Christmas presents to within an inch of their lives and painting my toenails.
Reason I asked
I too thought Rosie's last entry totally out of character and probably bogus. However time has passed with no further sightings, and I was curious that's all. Miss the old buffer truth be told.
Penelope's night in
Watching DVDs in bed seems a popular choice for a night in these days. I have a quiet night in for once myself tonight which I shall spend with my nose in a book - wading through George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman papers for the umpteenth time. Fantastic stuff.
pondering
Rosie was great! It isn't that bad here, so maybe it was the loss of a particular game that upset him?
It isn't bad at all
It seems that he is missed. I hope he gets to know.
Colin Firth around the corner
[Penelope] It seems to me that this chap can't have been of good genetic stock, given his grandfather's propensity to die at socially inconvenient moments. A night in with your toenails sounds far more enjoyable. If it's any consolation, I have to spend tonight in with the Venerable Bede, who is not the best company.
mine's the one with the faux fur around the neck..
[BM]The dead rarely are. They often smell, for a start.
feeling sorry all round
[pen] I think the word 'arse' sums up things. Hope the DVDs hit the spot. [all] I'm feeling very sorry for myself today. Hangover. Seemed a good idea at the time. Hows everyone else today?
[pen] Tsk. [lib] A little tipsy, after preparing for a 2pm meeting with a couple of pints during lunch, and looking forward to seeing Johnny Vegas in Liverpool this evening. I hope to be hungover tomorrow, saturday and/or sunday, though, at which juncture I shall feel your pain.
Feelings
[Lib] Very well, thank you, although I can't figure out why I'm so tired today. I fear I may be battling a bug of some kind, my wife having had a sore throat for a few days now. With any luck a nice vigorous run this morning will shake the various bits of phlegm loose.
[pen] *hug* Sorry about that, chuck.
All hugs welcomed but....
[Dunx] Thanks.. but maybe you should just keep your distance until you get over your bug! (I've already kept off one lurgy from my Kiwi flatmate this week). BTW, a rib-splitting belly-laughing session has just done wonders for shifting the phlegm from my tubes this afternoon. My colleague has discovered my weakness for anyone doing impressions of Jim Royle's 'ha-HA' laugh and now my ribs ache. :o)
Santa Ted
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, he's back!
And this time it's not even accidental. Must remember to take him down at the end of the festive period.
Poo, lots of it.
Hmmm, I wonder who chewed that hole in the carpet.....
If that's a reference to Christmas Ted, then I would suggest your browser is to blame.
missing persons
[Boolbar] Ah - so Poo Puppy is responsible for keeping you away from the Crescent?
relief road
phew - the traffic has started moving again in the Limerick game..
One down, three to go
The first of my attempts to avoid the prospect of unemployment next year has been put into action. Won't hear the outcome til May though...
[Chalky] Is that a reference to Boolbar's poo post?!
[Darren] oh dear, yes - the juxtapositioning is rather questionable :-)
Be vewy vewy quiet....
[rab] Is it grant season already?
[DrQ] Oh yes indeedy.
Academia
How does that work? Does lack of grant mean loss of tenure, or does lack of grant mean that work to gain tenure cannot be undertaken (unless independently funded)? Sorry if the question seems imbecilic but I have no knowledge of how it all dovetails.
Foo!
I dunno how it goes on the Eastside of the Atlantic, but over here profs apply for only-God-and-her-secretary-knows-how-many grants, out of which they pay their postdocs/grad students/other staff, as well as equipment costs, and *cough*40% university overhead. Around here, if you want to get a tenure-track professorship, you pretty much need to have grants in tow.
[DrQ] That's pretty much what happens over here as well. Except that we don't have tenure any more, so even when you have a job, you still have to run as fast as you can to keep it. Especially if you're in a 4-desperate-to-be-a-5 rated department.
hang on
Rosie's back!
The house at poo corner
[Chalky] Indeed. The puppy (Frodo) is delightful but he also needs a lot of attention. Plus the ongoing mouse in the roof situation and the leeking outside loo means I shouldn't be here now.
cupboard love
[Boolbar] Where are you? Hiding in the cupboard under the stairs until those problems are sorted out by someone else?
(again)
I'd just like to say that I've found the perfect combination of undergarments for inclement weather whilst walking and exhibition-visiting in town. A long-sleeved thermal vest plus a long sleeved shirt will keep you warm but not bulk you out. Can I also recommend the '100 Years of the Art Fund' exhibition at the Hayward Gallery.? Bloody excellent. And now I'm going to bed for some well-earned sleep. See you all Monday night in the chatroom when I will tell you how my new member of staff got on during his first day with me as his boss! :o)
(and no, I'm not pissed, but I hope to be tomorrow)
A weekend away and I return to find that penelope's well insulated for the weather and likely to be pissed by now (11.50GMT), Frodo puppy is as demanding as he is appealing and it's grant season in academia - so the only contribution I can make is, yes I had a wicked time and can we do something Christmassy tomorrow night, like Santa's Toy Factory in Lapland, or something like ....?
Lapland and frigidity
It's 'funny' at this time of year to read the various comments about the cold weather. ... :-)
I'm sitting here in my workshop in a light short-sleeved top with a coolish - for this time of year - day outside. It's about 23°C at the moment (11:57Z) and one of flerdle's eight legged friends is sitting on the Holland blind a couple of feet away from me. Sorry, I don't have a digital camera otherwise I'd take a pic for you. He's a Huntsman, which generally have a much larger body size than the Wolf Spider which flerdle displayed a while ago. No doubt he's having a nap, being daytime, and only occasionally moves his legs around.
Should I get the chance tomorrow morning I shall attempt to join you in the chat room of MCiOS, but having work to do it may not be possible.
toasty
I'm just back from Melbourne, Sydney and Cairns (well, Atherton Tablelands, actually) where it was occasionally stormy but nice, beautiful, and stinking hot respectively. It is rather warm here but not too bad, all things considered.

Having missed it for the last couple of weeks, I'm afraid I probably won't make it to the MCiOS chatroom this Monday night either as I have to fly to Newcastle (near Sydney) for work. Plus I'm just knackered. *groans*

mints
I'll try to make it..my computer is sort of working, and I should manage it. Is 8pm too early?
pilght
I'd love to pilg tonight as I had so much fun prancing around in my mackerel skin bikini last week, but I've got a problem. Can anyone help? What it is, is there's a big content filter here (where I live and work and have my only net connection), so Shhhh, don't tell anyone I access (as I've not asked but am sure if I do then will be told its not allowed). Anyway. The chatroom doesn't work. The clock on MCiOS functions (so I think I have flash 6) and the chatroom page loads and tells me nicely to type my name 'here' and then press connect, but it refuses to connect. I've tried clicking on it many ways (including whilst doing a handstand, which quite frankly just looked silly!) but can't figure it out. Any bright ideas? Please?!?!
light
[Lib] You might be better off asking Dan at MCiOS since he's the one who understands how the chatroom works. My guess is that the communication between your computer and the chat server is done using a "port" (which is a bit like a particular telephone extension on a switchboard) that the hospital doesn't want you to have access to and there ain't much you can do about that.
blight
My work computer doesn't like the chatroom either - I'm not going to complain as I get to use the internet as much as I like, otherwise..
new game ideas
Now that the crossword chat has crept into the crypt ... I would love to play an Imposters game of some sort.
Impostulating
How about murder in the dark imposters. Correctly guess the identity of other players for points. And what do points mean..?
points mean
Piccalili?
Tonight
It looks like I may not make it to the chatroom tonight, on account of entertaining a visitor to our department. On the other hand, that may well not go on too late, so I might make a late entrance if I take my laptop with me.
re: Tonight
[rab] You mean someone *willingly* went to Manchester? *ducks* Then again, one could make the same claim for Pittsburgh and its 16" of snow the past two weeks....
Belatedly
PRIZES!! sorry
Impostors Crescent - the return?
Well, if anybody wants to play over on Mornington Crescent in Outer Space, you'll see that somebody has started an Impostors Game there - with a twist. The more players, the merrier, and let's see how it develops...
Oh goody ... how about Good News/Bad News ... here?
oops
It seems to have happened :-)
Impostors
How does this imposters crescent thing work?
Imposing
[ZK] You pretend to be someone else, and play the entire game in character as that person. (Hint: browse the archives!). You display your imposted moniker using a '!' sign in front. I'm afraid this is a geeky thing: '!' means 'not' in C and related computer languages. Oh, and the game's at MCiOS in case you were unaware.
Andanovverthing
Usually once the game has ended, the unmasking begins. I think I've worked one of them out already!
Groovy
Sounds like fun to me! However, must go and clean out fridge. Less fun but entirely necessary.
It's not that bad....
[Dr Q] You should visit Manchester, it's not half as bad as rab makes out. Maybe we should have a mini-plig here......
Mini-plig
Maybe when Nik comes out of his coma and JLE has finished his piano practice, this could be arranged...
I've been wondering about a Super Pilg. Format - our very own ISIHAC. MCers are warned of the games and prepare in advance. We'd probably have to stay up late so a hotel venue would be best. Any takers?
A nod to Bob
[Bob] Thought I'd best acknowledge your wonderings, particularly as they incorporate the words 'staying up late', 'hotel venue' and end in 'Any takers?' - not a question one would wish to leave hanging overnight :-)
Obviously the whole shebang would be recorded, or even filmed, and in the true tradition of the travelling ISIHAC which has torn itself away from its London roots, perhaps somewhere central to all participants, say ... the West Midlands?
Freelance MC
Sounds a fab idea - and if I were able to attend could offer my services as cameraperson and/or video editor, although I've not any decent sound recording equipment.
100
Should anyone fancy a go, I've posted a cryptic film quiz that has turned up in the office. There are gaps which stumped us.
[Inky] Is part of the test of the quiz to find it?!?! Or am I being daft? [BtD] A super-pilg would be fantastic. Let's do it!
Lights come on!
[Inky] I've Found it!
Did I forget something?
Oh yes I put it in 'Obscure vault 99 '
Coma? What coma? I'm fine. Honest (note: I'm not fine).
ISIHAC pilg
Ok seems like that ones a goer. Wishlist for venue:
Real Ales(?) or decent beer at least
Overnight accomodation for those wishing to stay
Not too expensive
Centrally based - Perhaps Oxfordshire?
Room to use as venue for parlour games - preferably with piano (is someone prepared to take the place of Colin Sell? Projoy?)
Any suggestions?
Organisational wishlist:
I'd love to help prepare the programme, but who will compare? rab?
Camerawork - blamelewis (excellent) And we'd need at least 8 regular players (and their spouces, friends, relatives, animals etc). + piano player...
As for timing, how does a weekend in May sound? We should have time to plan, hotels will be cheap, weather not too bad...
Did somebody say piano player?
Ooh
If I'm not tied down by those meddling exams I'd love to come along...if not, circulate tapes!
... and I would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't've been for you meddling exams!
Oh look, it's the only other human we've seen all episode
That was where I was going with it :)
Crescent celebdaq
Can I join?
Mr Piano
JLE are you a pianist? If so would you be interested in a diverting evening of entertainment playing parlour games?
Wild night
How does THIS look as a potential venue?
Comparison
Not sure I have the necessary wit, charm or smuttiness to be a viable compere.
[Bob] Well, I'd say I was a pianist, if no less than six qualifications of various different types from music colleges and still an inability to get a steady job means anything of the sort...
Noteworthy
JLE] Fantastic - and a willing participant?
rab] I beg to differ.
Spank
I'd need a script.
more players
ZK] Visit Celebdaq towers to create a player profile and buy some shares. Come back here and post your player ID No and I will add you straight away. For my sins I have two accounts in the league as does Uncle Korky. I'm still not sure how blamelewis has managed to grab the No1 shot at the moment but there will tears before bedtime after the divis are paid out on Friday!
[BtD] I see a plan forming. Thos might be willing to help work on a script of some sort (if we could cope with all those puns!). And the proposed venue is acceptable to me.
A Thos script would be superb. The St George is OK but only has 8 rooms (Mostly double and en-suite) cost £70 per room B&B. There are other B&Bs within walking distance of the pub. I've been ringing some contacts at the BBC and I may have secured a guest appearance by the one and only Samantha. I assume she would be available to tot-up the teams’ points.
Would love to do it, but depends very much on the cost.
celebdaq
am already registered, but haven't looked for aaaages...*goes to find number*...3058974.
oh_danny_boy
ZK] You are in and added to the league, I hope you will enjoy the friendly competition ;)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Fabbo! Thanks!
Returning from bbc.co.uk
Wahey! I already suck! This'll be fun!
ISIHA?
JLE] Thanks.
Lib] Can you ask Thos if he'd be able to do some scripting?
all] I think that £70 per room is probably too expensive. Plus the getting to the venue. If I could find somewhere for about £30 B&B, how many would like to participate? As I said, we'd need about 8 definites to make it worthwhile. So far:
Btd
Lib
ZK (as long as no exam conflict)
blamelewis (I assume yes)
JLE (As long as not too pricey)
maybe...
[BtD] I don't know where Thos hides, but Projoy does, so maybe if he's reading this he could ask him. Thanks Projoy. And I have to say that I'm really not that witty. Early in May would probably be better for me (as already have work, choir, hen night and wedding to schedule around!)
'I like driving in my car'
[JLE] I'll most likely be driving down to the super-pilg from Manchester(ish), so you could have a lift (to make it a bit easier on the pocket).
I would echo "not too priciness" comments.
[Lib] Lovely, as I'll be going from Manchester. The only trouble would be getting back afterwards, assuming the usual amount of Pilgrimage alcohol-consumption... unless you happen to be the one and only teetotal person in the world of MC. ;-)
Alcoholiday
JLE/Lib] If you can afford to B&B it, then you have at least one night to recover.
Seeing as rab is also from Manchester, is there room for further car sharing?
rabbiting
[BtD/rab] rab can have a lift too, provided we're still talking at that point! And if Nik, the other near-Manchester crescenter (that I know of) wanted to join our car-party then he'd be welcome too. We could have a very long game in the car to extend the pleasure! Whee! [JLE] I'd rather B&B it to facititate alcohol consumption, if it fits in with your buget.
Frolicing in May
I've just cross posted the idea onto Orange and MCiOS. Lets see what happens ...
seasons bleatings
May I just say, there are some truly revolting Christmas card illustrations out there? I just unearthed a pack of 50 hideous ones. OH well, they came out at 5c each...
Unconventional
[Lib, rab, Btd] This sounds more like a "convention" than a pilg. Although I suppose I should avoid that dread word, rendered frightening by SciFi fans. Thos hasn't been hanging around lately, so I've popped him an email. It sounds like the kind of thing I'd enjoy, tho, so put me down as a willing participant. If JLE's on the ivories, perhaps I could turn his pages or play the swannee.
If singing is required, I can also sing reasonably well in tune, but would need to be provided with *both* music *and* words, as I know remarkably little music that is less than a hundred years old.
(This is just in case we end up doing One Song To The Tune Of Another. My voice, by the way, is a fairly high tenor, as those who have met me in Pilgrimages can attest. I've sung lead tenor in a barbershop quartet before.)
Conventionality
How very flattering to be remembered! I would of course be delighted to contribute in any way thought useful - and though there are many, many funnier people round these 'ere parts, and several script writers amongst us, I would be exceedingly happy to provide/contribute to/collaborate on scripts. I would just need a brief and a spot of notice! *Thos bows*
seasons bleatings
[flerdle] Feel free! I have in fact been telling anyone who'll listen about this cultural epidemic I have lovingly termed "Ugly Jesus". This Christ bloke (apparently some kind of child star in his day) has made a startling comeback this year in cribs, nativity scenes, christmas cards and so on, about which of course I am thrilled, were it not for the fact that he tends to be portrayed as anything from rather gangly to positively misshapen, and every so often poor Mary makes it look genetic. Send me your sightings of Ugly Jesus - you'll notice it's true!
Interesting fact. Well, interestingish.
There was a tradition in ancient times that Jesus was ugly. I think that this came not from any genuine historical fact but from Isaiah 53, which the Christians believed was about Jesus, and which describes the "suffering servant" as not beautiful to look at.
There is also an apocryphal book called the Acts of Paul, which describes Paul as a short, bald hunchback with a single furry eyebrow like a big caterpillar. However, these were considered signs of beauty in ancient times, so they are probably not historical either - apart from the baldness.
in tune
[JLE] Personally, I think singing in tune is probably a disadvantage.
Re: in tune
[Projoy] Quite right -- Jeremy Hardy gets the biggest round of applause in 1S2TTOA....
Intonation
(Dr Q) That's because his singing is so magnificently awful. The worst thing would be just a little out of tune. Garden and Cryer are both really good singers, especially boozy Barry.
Singing
I can't remember who it was who did Mr Boombastic by Shaggy (I think it was Garden) but it was absolutely superb.
Hardy - a laughing matter
All] I am planning to have one song to the tune of another. Projoy & Thos - you are very welcome to contribute and play (email me - my details are on the Orange pilg board).
It looks as if it is going to be a lot of fun! I nearly gave Samantha the job of preparing the briefs, but have decided to handle them myself. This will be done by New Year. Dunx is helping out with parts of the script and I've also had offers from I Say Porter. This works out well because both are abroad and can't attend (although Dunx has suggested a live phone session - is this a technical possibility blamelewis?) LotUS and Herr Bratche are also keen to attend and help.

Does anyone have a supply of Swannee Whistles and Kazoos?
Musical Instruments
It shouldn't be too difficult to fashion a Swanee Whistle out of a bicycle pump and a descant recorder mouthpiece though the pump might need to be sacrificed. A Kazoo is a comb with a bit of thin paper stuck to it.
technicalities
You'll get plastic kazoos and quite possibly swanees in most tacky gift shops :) Phone sesh: I believe you can buy a mic to fit to a phone to amplify what the person on the other end is saying, but I'm really not all that confident with sound stuff - a lot depends on numbers and size of room - if it's fairly small scale then a phone with speakerphone and everyone else keeping quiet might do it, if it's pretty big then you're into PA's and so on - none of it impossible but it begins to need careful planning and cost money!
The critical info for me is really just the details of when and where... Date, location and cost of staying will determine if I can make it - I'll try my damndest! Assuming I can then I reckon we should find out what sort of size the place is and what sort of equipment the venue has, or can accomodate. In terms of video recording and sound:
Camera: Mine (miniDV camcorder) - and if we have 2 or 3 other attendees willing to lend theirs we could record fixed close ups of team a, team b and "humph" with the option of a fourth camera doing a wider angle and audience reaction shots, piano cutaways etc etc... The venues lighting will be a consideration especially as my camera is a consumer model and therefore not too good under anything other than bright lights
Sound: for that I reckon if we have Bob the Dog's 4 track and mics for team a, team b, "humph" and the piano.
My thinking is based on the assumption that it's primarily a live show for an audience, with two teams, a chairperson and a pianist. We want to perform it live and only use retakes if absolutely necessary. I'd be interested to hear from anyone who's attended a recording of ISIHAC about how the day ran in technical terms - if they recorded items out of sequence or with breaks in the recording... My email is blamelewis at yahoo dot co dot uk. In terms of operators for all that technology it could be done on a minimum of two (1 sound and 1 camera) but the more the merrier...
Singing in the pain
I belong to the Jeremy Hardy school of singing.
Exactly
Blame] I've been lucky enough to go to a recording and I suggest we follow exactly the same format. At a particular venue, two shows for two consecutive weeks are recorded. They are recorded with a break in the middle which acts as refreshment time. I suggest that we have a Humph and four players for the first half followed by a beer break then a different four players for the second half. If we get more interest, we could get a second Humph (It'd be nice to ring the changes and offer the seat to more than one person). I've already had enough MCers showing interest to guarantee at least nine attendees, and if we get more (and I think we will) - we either have a bigger audience or will have to plan for more games.
Technically the shows are recorded in one go. Obviously there are times when a line is muddled (Humph is king of this). He simply starts again and the fluff is edited.
For those who have never attended and do not wish to know some of the secrets, I will paste the rest of this message on the laser display board.The show is semi-improvised, players having prepared for questions but still happy to ad-lib. The laser display board is John Naysmith with a piece of cardboard and you never actually see Samantha.
live recs
On the occasions I've seen it recorded there are usually some drop-in retakes to do at the end as well, but we perhaps might not be quite as fussy as the Beeb.
musical instruments of the plastic variety
I'm pretty sure I can get a decent kazoo from the local music shop for about a quid, if that.
Uber-pilg
Colour me interested.
pilg
Can I ask that I only be semi-coloured interested, tinted perhaps, as I won't want to disappoint nearer the time should it turn out I can't make it.
more interuptions again
Good luck to you all going to the pilg I'm not able to get a day or weekend pass.

And in other news, blamelewis is hiding his light under a bushel, so in the time honoured fashion it gives me great pleasure to announce, he is this weeks No1 on the Celebdaq.

The Mother of all Pilgs
...and I can't get there. :(
celebdaq
oooh [Inkspot] Ta for the mention. I suck, but who knows? I may get better! :)
Celeb!
OOh - I hadn't noticed! It's all down to Michael Jackson and Liv Tyler. One of whom I idolise...
Nice things
It's all right, Lewis, they say he's a nice fellow if you dig deep enough. Now, your shout isn't it?
anglo-australian misunderstanding
Gary Packer's a poof!
Or whatever the name was...
Feeling bored
Okay, okay, so I can blame insomnia and lack of common sense for my feeling deserted at this time of night I suppose but where have all the other late-nighters got to?
Late night?
[ZK] It's only 8 PM local time here :)
forgetting international time-difs
Ah yes of course. currently 1.11 am. Am often up far later, which is why I'm so grateful for the game's wide appeal :)
Silent Night
Bit quiet here today? If anyone's epilging tonight I probably won't make it as I think my house is doing Christmas drinks.
The Missing E-Pilgrim....oh, here it is!
I'm in right now.
[Dr Q] I would be, but I need to concentrate on writing this document.
[Dunx] I've taken the liberty of doing that for you.

(Actually, that was done in xfig using splines. Sad to say that's infinitely neater than my actual handwriting.)
[Cross-post] I'm away from today (23/12/2003) until I don't know when (latest, new year's eve). This means that if anything should happen to angrycake.com, I won't be around to resurrect it, and so MC^5 will be down. With any luck, it'll all be fine and dandy, but if it's not, be forewarned.
Just checking ;-)
Still working...
Do you need me at all?
Merry, Merry, Quite Contrary
If I don't get to post before - have a Happy Christmas / midwinter non-culture specific break.
reciprocating
... and you, rabsome one. xxxx
Hurrah!
Christmas cheer all, may your presents be unwoolly and jumperish (or if they are may you have wanted them to be), may your surroundings be loving, may your company be cheerful and may your crackers bring forth crap jokes. xxx
Festivites
Given that it's only just over twelve hours to Christmas Day in my neck of the woods I offer my warmest wishes for Christmas and the New Year to all who read this. I shall think of those of you in cooler climes as I sit back tomorrow in shorts and lightweight top, sipping on something cool, whilst the King Parrots and various versions of Lorikeets dazzle my eyes as they execute precision fly pasts.

Merry Christmas!

bah (sheep?) humbug and other such noises
I'm working all the way through the fun n laughter. Does the NHS ever sleep I wonder?????
[widey] Not in my experience.
lunchtime requests
Can we have an imposters thread? It looks like fun!
Yuletide greetings to all!
At work!!
Merry Xmas to all, particularly those like me who have to go into work.
More holiday cheer
May I wish a pre-emptive Happy Boxing Day to all, and if you're Antipodean, enjoy the tests (despite the NZ-Pak test being delayed for bad light after just 3 overs. Feh!)
testing time
It is Boxing Day here now, stinking hot as usual (11:30am, 34C, 50% humidity)so we're staying in the two airconditioned rooms in the house and playing with new toys. Yesterday was a scorcher too, and the city was completely deserted. It took three hours to finish lunch with relatives and we all just lolled around under the fans until night fell and it was time for a spot of backyard cricket, and then on to the next party. Strangely enough, I didn't feel like having breakfast this morning...
I know you don't really want to know this, but later on...............
I'm going to get very very drunk, which is nice!Happy day of boxing one and all.
Outrageous
Poor Plump! What do you do? I was scheduled to work nights over Christmas, but luckily weaselled out of it - won't be so lucky at New Year though...
Happy Holidays. Oh Yes.
Hmm. I can't wait for work again on Jan 5th. :o(
work
[Breadmaster] I work for BT and yes you've guessed I am in work this weekend as well.
Work?
I, too, am at work, after a freak brownout took out our webserver and several other machines. Feh!
Oh sweet merciful heaven
The voting public have just named Grease the greatest musical of all time. I have lost the last lingering thread of my hope for this country....
Of all time???
Surely you jest!
I jest ye not!!! It beat the sound of music to number one!
And Cats, Joseph, Les Mis, Chorus Line, Top Hat, the Wizard of Oz...I could go on, but it's just too depressing...
TOMMY CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Now, I'm no musical buff...but how does Grease rank above Tommy and Phantom?
It doesn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My theory is, that it wasn't intentional voting. You see, on these channel 4 polls you can vote for up to 10 of the things on the list. Now, what I'll do on these polls (I didn't know about this one) is vote for the ones I like and if those run out I'll then vote for the ones I've seen and thought were okay. I bet that about 40% of Grease's votes were fom proper fans and that the rest came from these 'leftover' votes of people going "ooh, I liked Grease, I guess that deserves a vote" and the witless ba*ds made it number one!!! I wonder how many people voting for it to do well meant to vote it into that position! You should have heard the screaming in our living room when Sound of Music came up as number two - cos we knew what the only two choices were by then!!
trouble right here in River City...
Are we talking movie or stage here?
A nation [or those that be bothered to vote] decides
My all-time favourite, West Side Story, came fourth, but I have to agree that overall the results indicate some bizarre opinions on what constitutes a 'musical'.
Ta, Chalky
West Side Story - magnificent. Porgy and Bess at No. 77! Sacrilege.
Well, it's a fun and eclectic list, and I'm happy to have Grease in the top 100. But the order is a bit whacky, and given what is on there, I miss The Music Man and Into the Woods (but am tickled to find Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Bugsy Malone). Probably from the Big Read voters, or the folks at IMDB who would have us believe that Finding Nemo is a better movie than Notorious, Manhattan, The Bicycle Thief or The Graduate...
Durrrr
Well, I have never seen The Sound of Music, West Side Story, or Porgy and Bess, and I liked Grease. Lucky I don't vote in TV polls, really, isn't it?
Grease fans are entitled to their vote but I still don't believe it's the greatest musical ever! [Toby] Both. The oddest thing is that she said two hundred thousand people voted. Oh, I guess that really reflects the opinions of the 5 million strong public, doesn't it? I say that channel 4 never advertises these things properly - always the programmes, but never the votes. I didn't find out about it until the poll was closed. Even this "Musicality" competition they were advertising after it closes on January the 7th - it's the first i've heard of it. Come on, channel 4, put yourself about more!
putting it about
[ZK] I guess Channel 4 were relying on the sponsors, The Daily Mail, to promote and encourage voting, which to be fair, the newspaper did with considerable gusto back in the Autumn. Trouble is, many of our select community are too sniffy to read the aforementioned rag.
the daily mail
or skint....
Breadmaster
I for one am more horrified that Breadmaster has never seen The Sound of Music. How is this possible?
Musicality
Ha! Next he'll be claiming he's never dressed up in fishnets and sung I'm just a sweet transvestite!
Well, just call me uncultured. I'm tone deaf and I don't like musicals, although whether these two things have anything to do with each other is a moot point. I have therefore never sung I'm just a sweet transvestite, but I decline to comment on anything else.
Question?
Question?
Oops.....At what number was Guys n dolls?
G & D
No 36, Widey. Next time you can go find it yourself ... ;-)
Attention, Rosie.
Answering your question in the limerick game - rather than clutter up the thing.
mallee is a low growing eucalypt. There is an area in (I think) N.W. Victoria where these are endemic and which is known as 'The Mallee'.
Standing to attention
OK, Duj - thanks. Nice pong, eucalyptus, probably due to isopropyl and tert-butyl groups attached to an aromatic ring. Better than the assortment of sulphur compounds my aromatic ring tends to produce.
Peg-on-nose
[Rosie] Eee, by gum, lad! The oil of the eucalypt is used for many a 'good' thing; whether or not sulphuric substances fall into any of those catagories is food for thought, though it is oft used as a balm. ;-)
Hrmmph
Catagories s/b categories. .... sorry - brain fade - again.
100 Best Musicals
This passed me by completely -- you see what you miss if you don't stay alert? -- and it turns out to be quite an interesting list. Some predictable injustices -- Sweeney Todd at 80 vs Phantom at 20? No Follies or 42nd Street (the movie, I mean) or The Band Wagon? But it's nice to see Cabaret and West Side Story so high, and indeed (though some will scoff) Once More With Feeling and Moulin Rouge, two sterling attempts to keep the form alive and popular in the 21st century.

The bottom end of the list is probably more interesting than the mainstream top, with unexpected appearances by The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, All That Jazz, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Dancer in the Dark and so on. Was it being made into a (rarely screened) film or just having "Send in the Clowns" that got A Little Night Music onto the list? A good thing, either way. Curious that they list the 1962 film version of Gypsy but the pic and review are for the 1993 TV movie with Bette Midler.

And did anyone really vote for The Jazz Singer (#65) as the "Best Musical"? Historically important, for sure -- but best? Smells a bit fishy to me...

Intermission
Not wishing to interrupt, but I thought I'd just remind people of an impending pilgrimage on the 10th January. More here. Now, back to your usual programming...
100, er, musicals
I was just upset that Hair came in so low (below Starlight Express, for goodness' sake!). I've never seen Once More With Feeling, but the samples they gave left me distinctly unimpressed. Wasn't there a cop series (Cop Rock?) a while ago that did this kind of thing with considerably more style? I, too, missed Into the Woods, among other Sondheims, but his stage-bound nature got him there, I think.
The hills... the hills!
Incidentally, despite liking musicals a lot, I've never seen The Sound of Music either.
more musicals
These are admittedly one my least favoured forms of entertainment, but I did manage a half dazed interest in the top twenty. But I wonder how many of those made in the last 10 years will have a following in 30 years time, hopefully the mistake of Once More With Feeling will have been long forgotten.

Also congrats to blamelewis for his second week on top

What, this is still here? Criminy.
I've some ideas for the May event (provisionally entitled ISIHAC 2 (This time it's unprofessional!) and I've started using the To Be A Pilgrim message board on Orange as the main mixing desk. I've had lots more feedback over Christmas although I'm still hoping to hear from Projoy and Thos - so contact me if you want to help put it together.
contact
[BtD] Beagle-style missive sent off.
The Beagle has landed.
[Btd] Yeah, but is it talking to the mother ship?
A Happy New Year to all you fine, fluffy people. Thank you for letting me sidle in amongst you.
Bonne Annee
Happy New Year to everyone too! (Only 32 minutes before I finish..)
I'm required to leave so the table can be set up for an impending New Year Eve's party. So ... happy new year. See you tomorrow with a hangover, probably.
Happy New Year to all you fine people! Let us drink a toast to the year that has seen the sad demise of PantsMC, and remember all those who *finally sucumbs to the whirling pits and falls down*
knock knock
Happy New Year!
once more with feeling
Bleedin' 'eck, 2004 already? Seems like only yesterday it was 2003. Happy New Year!
Emergency supplies for stray chicken
[Bob] Tomorrow, it seems that I may become foster-mother to a stray chicken. It's too late to tell the full story - but what do I need to get in to make the poor mite comfortable until it's reclaimed? Straw and what ...? I've got budgie food ...
again
By the way - Happy New Year to one and all.
Chicken rescue
Happy New Year too! Chalky] What an odd way to start the new year!
Basics for chicken care - chucks eat:
Grass,
Porridge,
Cabbage, lettuce, any greens,
Grains - preferably corn and wheat - but budgie food may do in the short term,
Worms and stuff they dig up themselves,
And don't forget some water!
If this becomes a long-term thing you'll need to let her have a supply of fine grit too.
If you have a lawn and can set up a small fenced area - four bamboos and some pea netting would do - as day-time housing. An old rabbit hutch would do at night or a very big cardboard box with some chicken wire over the top. If you have sawdust in the bottom of the housing, it helps make poo-disposal easier. Longer-term, stick in a short thick branch (as thick as your fist) for Chuck to perch on at night, and some straw in a corner for it to lay on. And all the best! I'd love to know the story...
chicken run
[Bob] Thank you SO much your help. At this moment I am still awaiting news of said stray chicken. My brother was supposed to have retrieved it and delivered it to me today - but I haven't heard a word. We were at the same New Year party last night, when all this was agreed, so perhaps he partied into the early hours and has spent the day recovering. He hasn't answered his phone either :-(
OK - the story .... last Monday, the chicken announced its arrival at his house by flying kamikaze-style into his front window. After trying to ignore the poor thing for several hours they finally allowed it through their house to the back garden where it promptly positioned itself on top of their grape vine. They tried everything they could to discover its ownership including local radio announcements, etc. but with no sensible response. Anyway, after opening up a small shed for it and allowing it free range, yesterday his wife announced she couldn't cope with the 'mess' any longer and rather cruelly [in my opinion] chucked it out the front door and watched it wander up the road. A couple of hours later, guess what? It returned to begin the flinging itself against their front window again. He let it through to their back garden with a promise to her that he would find a home for it ... and that's where I come in.
Chook
I hate to suggest this, Chalky, but given your sister-in-law's outlook on life, it's probably been, er, well, you know. Just don't eat at her place for a couple of weeks, OK? ... :-(
Awwwww
What a cruel woman! I'm slightly puzzled, however, by a chicken that can fly into a window and sit on top of a grape vine. What kind of super-chicken is this? Or is it in fact a pheasant or something?
bob boc boc
Chickens can fly! Just not really well, usually. I think they can't be bothered if they're well fed.
chicken supreme
I concur with all reactions to my little horror story ... and yes, Breadmaster, they do fly, particularly if being chased or in a panic. I still haven't heard anything more, so I'm going to pop round this afternoon.
Best of cluck
Chalky] If they offer you a sandwich, beware of feathers!
snorgle] The longest recorded flight of a chicken was (apparently) 13 seconds. I'm very encouraged that the chicken could fly - it means it was not clipped and was probably kept free-range.
Amazed
Well, you learn something every day. When we had chickens they would sort of flutter up onto things like very low branches. I just can't imagine one getting up enough height and speed to crash into a window - although I can certainly imagine it getting up the requisite stupidity.
rab in eptitude shocker
Hmmm... this upgrade seems to have worked. You shouldn't notice many changes, except the tag tickler has now been installed for the benefit of Bad HTML devotees. Basically if you put some dodgy HTML in your 'stance', you get the option to 'debug' it, which basically means your HTML will be presented in a fairly easy-to-read fashion, with the grumbles flagged up as they occur. It's in its early stages - comments are welcome.

The HTML checker itself has been refined. In particular it treats quotes more sensibly (which should please Nik at least).

Oh - there's an experimental text-only theme which should kick in automatically if you use Netscape 4.7x, Lynx or Links (not been able to test Netscape). Those watching in colour can see it in action by clicking here. A nifty feature is that inline images are turned into clicky links. One day there'll be a proper link to this, and I'm hoping it might eventually form the basis of a version for mobile devices.

*has more features in pipeline, but only two days before school*

Plain theme
I like it -- now everyone with web-enabled PDAs has no excuse. :)
Plane Theme in glinks
It looks excellent in glinks (links -g) as well, so if I ever have to boot from my Damn Small Linux boot CD, it should look decent.
The chicken has landed ...
... but not sure if she'll survive the night. Will keep you posted.
chucks
Here is a link to a forum about chickens. It's quite interesting!
Henny news?
Chalky] Sounds as if she is in a bad way? :o(
Christmas Ted has gone and its not even twelfth night! Sacrilidge!
Christmas Ted
I'd only forget to take him down on Tuesday (or is it Monday?)...
Happy New Year and all that
Let's see what fine Crescenteering 2004 will bring...
Freakout
Chickens, eh? God, it all happens round at Chalky's, don't it? Happy New Year all!!
Another one comes around
[Thrax] Welcome back (again)!
chicken feed
Hello Thrax :-) Hope your visit isn't too brief.
Chicken: She seems quite subdued, but otherwise fine. Our sources inform us that she probably wandered off from her farm base [about half a mile from my brother's house], so I've telephoned and a chicken expert is coming round tomorrow to pick her up.
Oh ... thanks Bob, snorgle and everyone else who offered practical and moral support. I've learned a lot. As for the wicked sister-in-law, well ...
ISIHAC2
Apologies for x-posting. Following up the ISIHAC2 - 'This Time Its Unprofessional' pilg in May - ISP and Dunx have kindly offered to write the 'Humph' bits 'cos they can't be at the event. I already have a list of 14 MCers who want to attend or play and Projoy has very kindly agreed to be one of the 'humphs' for the evening. However, I need another. Two people now have suggested Martha Farqua. If you think you’d be good Martha, (or if anyone else has a good suggestion) please contact me. Ta!
what the...?
I deliberately didn't keep any shares in my portfolio over xmas, thinking I'd buy some fast-movers and shoot straight up the chart in the New Year - and whaddya know! Looks like all you conscientious types got kneecapped and slack tarts like me floated to the top... *cackle*.
Negativity
Enjoy it whilst it lasts e_e.:-)
The League Table has the collywobbles for some reason. e.g. I shows me with £6 and -99% wheras it should be just over £14,000 and 40-odd percent (I was kneecapped and so can tell. I think I was the only one zapped this week - although x_sugar babe_x must have come awfully close.)
Good to see you around and posting, Thrax. Are you able to stick around this time or just making a short visit?
Freakout
Much obliged, Chalkers and Doc. Hope you're well. My best wishes to all MCers at this time of year. edna, you talking Celebdaq? I tried me hand at that but failed miserably. I just don't follow Celebrity 'News' closely enough. I think I'm genetically programmed not to give a monkey's about J-Lo and Britney and Posh and Puffdaddy and Hugh Grunt and all those other deeply talented but criminally underpaid and overlooked, long-suffering, attention-starved, self-effacing, public servants who give so much and ask so little in return. Bless 'em.
Additional.
good to see you too, Dujon, old boy. I've no idea how long I'll be here, nor how often. I'll just play it by ear and see what transpires. It's good to see a few familiar faces though - or rather read some familiar names.
Felicitations
Happy new year everyone... and, just to show how long it's been since I last sat at a keyboard - I hope everyone has a merry Christmas too.
Humph!
Trying to find reasonably priced accomodation with a piano is not as easy as I'd expected. JLE - anyone - do you have an electric piano we could plug in?
by the by...disillusionment
*distraught* so...Bob...is your name not actually Bob? Now I don't know what to believe!
Oh yes, and my exam period *is* over May, so I doubt I can make it to the pilg-type-thing. Sorry! :*(
It's awful when your illusions are shattered, isn't it? Still, I'm quite good at baking, you'll be pleased to know.
My initials, sadly, are neither Z nor K. I should really go and do some work... :)
As previously discussed, I'm not even a man!
I picked up a print of Simon Patterson's The Great Bear for Christmas (see here: http://www.dareonline.org/artwork/patterson/patterson3.html), which would form the basis of a wonderfully surreal game of MC.
Sorry - still can't get the tags right for a hyperlink!
Freakout
I wouldn't panic, Korkers. I can't unfathom morethan about three HTML tags here. Even though the good Doctor Q enlightened me several months ago. I lost the list. Bummer.
Youngsters these days
UK]I like the idea, have a peek at "All Games", back in the early days of MC5 there was a game of the Great Bear unfortunately it took a while to find a map, and the link from Boolbar is still active.
Ivories
[BtD] I'm hoping to purchase an electric piano soon, but need to buy the house to put it in first!
Bobajob
ZK] Aw, and I thought you really believed I was a dog too! The likely dates are 22nd and 29th May. Will your exams over by then?
Come On Over
No, not a Shania Twain string starting, but a reminder there's an e-pilg tonight in the MCiOS chatroom. All welcome. No responsibility can be accepted etc etc
the morning after
For those who missed the MCiOS chatroom cyber pilg, you missed a corker. As my ex-wife will testify, eh Pen?
Disillusionment...
[Inkspot] Cheers! Well, another supposedly original idea bites the dust!
last night, she said...
[BobTD] *wink*
Grrr...
Missed that - was at the cinema. Was this a Britney-style union?
I definitely think a bottle of vladivar was involved...
cheering up Incle Korky
UK] Look in Orange MC - new game started yesterday :-)
Missmatchmaking
rab] Yes. I was married Las Vegas style to Pen and she divorced me within seconds. Chalky narrowly missed me on the rebound. Dr Q got hitched to a chicken, had kids and was haunted by the spirit of his undead hen bride seeking vengence for leaving him with the odd-looking kids. I hope your film was worth it...
Losing it.....
In the past week I've managed to embarrass myself in public twice. The first time I shoplifted by accident (but in the end paid for my error) and I fell asleep in the cinema last night and started making strange noises.... I think I need a therapist!
*Rejoices*
[Chalky] Wahoo!
Freakout
MC ad other ISIHaC games are the best therapy. Everyone knows that.
Apropos absolutely nothing
I had to laugh a couple of evenings ago; my good wife was leafing through some of the junk mail which had been 'posted' into the letter box since the start of the new year. Honestly, I couldn't believe it - one food based company was advertising hot cross buns!
Freakout
Better than some of the garbage the Labour party sends me through the post every Christmas. I get these lists of "useful numbers" - ie. services provided locally. It's all drugs helplines, domestic violence support groups, local police contacts, child abuse support services etc. etc. I was left thinking, "oh thanks, guys! And a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too." Never had anything like that at any previous address in which I've resided. Believe me, the first Christmas I spent here (in 2001) I wondered where the bloody hell I'd moved to. "For heaven's sake!" thought I, imagining I was in one of the safer and more stable parts of Swindon, but silly me, I had in fact failed to notice I'd moved to Harlem. Funny how one makes these little mistakes.
Eggs and chicks and fluffy things
[Duj] Wandering around Tesco at the weekend, I spotted shelves recently filled with chocolate creme eggs and ickle easter bunny things.
Chicken update: She's gone back home to the farm :-)
Freakout
Awww, I'm glad there was a heartwarming end to the chicken's adventure, Chalky. :)
Nob and nobility
Looks like Lord Hamilton's doing the rounds, so if you'll excuse me for a moment...
Edward de Bono
Normality, I think.
Latecomers
It looks as though the ball has reached some sort of lull, so there could be an opening for something new...
Headlines?
We haven't had a Daily Mail Headlines game in a while...except it'd look a lot like Mini Cheddars, tho.
Hi Q Haiku [a poor attempt at a play on words]
[DrQ] I'm up for that.
An alternative suggestion ... as both the other MC sites each have a pair of 'poetry' games - why not a Haiku game?
Hi, Coo!
I second Chalky's idea.
Gaaah!
Unfortunately, the late arrivals won't stop coming in!
Bugger!
My recent 'upgrade' seems to have killed the win-detect code. How embarrassing...
Debugger!
Should be fixed now.
Oh...
...and in the event of winning a game, it might even be possible to start a new one again now.
Shed!!
I want a big shed, at least 12'x 9'. Does such a beast exsist? I wonder? Then I could spend my days there, drinking home brew from a chipped enamel mug and view the world through rose tinted Stadium Mk 4's...........sigh........
Shedding
[Widey] I believe such a thing does exist, although it is usually described as a "house".

Seriously, though, (and this is probably not much help) the US company Tuff Shed manufacturers a bewildering variety of sheds (which they call "storage buildings"). Some very silly styles, though... 10'x30 loafing shed, anyone?

MMMmmmmmmmmmmmm (Homer Simpson style)
Sounds good to me. I shall have to check them out. As you may have gatherd folks I have no life!!.........
Hideaways
Indeed, widey. I possess one around that size myself. It's a steel construct erected on a concrete slab, so if you are looking for a rustic appearance I cannot help. Mine is about 7½ feet high, has a door (which helps) and a single window, half of which will slide to allow air into the thing, at the opposite end (covered in spider webs and their makers - both of which, by the way, are extras.)
loafing shed
[dunx] perhaps a shed for loafing in. with a pint of loafing juice? strongbow anyone? just me then.
via Watty's ipaq
Hello we're drinking.
Greetings from (left to right) rab, pen, JLE, Norma, Pip, LOtUS, Merlyn, Lib, jim, Si, Raak and Watty. (That's enough pilgrims - Ed)
at home
HELLO EVERYBODY! *hugs and mabulations* as appropriate. Can you connect to the MCiOS Chat Server?
via the gift of the internet
hello all, hope you had a good time. I had a marvelous time in Bristol. No drinking though, although Temple Meads station is a sight to behold.
Bristol
The Bristolian kids' version of the Lord's Prayer contains the line "and lead me not into Temple Meads Station", so I'm told.
Wales
I like the bit that goes "and deliver us from Ebbw vale"...
I feel a new game coming on...
.....
Our Father, who art in heaven, Holloway be thy Name.
...
There is a version of the Lord's Prayer using tube station names already in existence, and a schoolfriend's father (who was Irish) used to recite it. But that was a long, long time ago, and now I must go to Google to have a good look. I do remember one line, which happens to be the next-but-one following st d's, come to think of it;
Thy Wimbledon.
___
Is this it?
[rab] Yes! But buses? Yeeeeughhh!! Perhaps we should re-write with proper station names!
more numbers
Many thanks to Britney Spears there has been a change at the top of Celebrity Mornington Crescent is that me!
celebrity gambling
oh nuts, I've fallen again
drug testing
ZK] I was lucky with both Britney and Greg Rusedski in buying just as the shares started to rise. It looks like this week I'll have to fight off x_sugarbabe_x and evil_edna. Which reminds me the new series of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here starts soon will the celebs be as famous last time . Which means not only has the league been going for nearly a year, so has this site, early felicitations rab, when was mc5 launched?
First post!
According to the database, my first move on this game was made at Thu Jan 16 21:07:52 2003, so it looks like we should have some sort of celebration on Friday.
Incidentally
Here's an example of those word-disassociation emails I keep receiving:
purcell newline scheme trudge coral lip partook poodle sportswear cartwheel blowup hid nabla scurry chicano twig perpendicular chariot locomotion alabaster granny machiavelli quizzical clod smooth mcclain bryan solve knives smithson fomalhaut repetitive gardenia bimetallism absentee swishy betsey centaur adenoma shoreline cobb atropos helmut pendulum poliomyelitis concourse purchasable calm macho cromwell ambiguous take autosuggestible

Who do I follow that?

Or, indeed, how?
dissing the diss
[rab] Have you invited the word disser to mail you, or is it just very eloquent spam? I feel perhaps there is no resonse needed as they appear to have put all their eggs in one basket but making one very long move. If you feel the need to make a move then I would recommend short but sweet, with a word like priapism.
Happy Verseday
MC5 is one this year,
This is a time to share.
To celebrate this great event,
I've gone and bought a tent.
Spam
[Lib] I think it's a device to try and get the emails through the spam filters. I had considered your move, but sadly I've just received dishwasher boletus elkhart skullduggery klein phonic alloy m's bicep puffery veneto art prepare coddle coriander manor corsage forswear haplology negroes denature exhibitor there'll blueberry bituminous sus hymn kaolin stalk dreary sorption oppressive harrisburg askance argive beresford dexterity embower ywca duplex stableman pickett barfly sophistry shoji put pursuer howl style shuddery curate porch.

I can't keep up!

Meanwhile a celebration game might be appropriate. Any ideas? Maybe a verse game??

randomly constituted spam
Mm. I think spammers are trying to get so much/many combinations of the English language blacklisted by Bayesian filters that they have to be reset or abandoned completely.
well versed
[rab] oh yes please. I liked Inky's sort of clerihew and I know there are several takers for a Haiku game. How's about a free-for-all 'Anni-Verse-Ary Game'? Those who are inclined [or like me, just enjoy showing off] can post a poem in whatever form/style they choose, beginning with the subject of your server's birthday and then leading ... well .. who knows where? Is that a flexible enough format for most?
Fire away...
Mary Hughes
Chalky] I must admit to being unable to do any form of poetry in a format, I wouldn't know who Miss Hews was if she came up and slapped my face, and as for a Haiku, why a game based on that chant thing the Kiwi's do before a game of rugby.
However I have enjoyed greatly resdaing the "He thought..." series over at Orange.
s/resdaing/reading
Imposters
I've found another place where MC is played on the net. Quite frankly it's a rather ruidementary and childlike version of the Great Game that we play, but each to their own. Its located at www.doctors.net.uk in the forum, but you have to log in to play and be a doctor to log in, so don't think a hyperlink would work to show you all the game.
playing doctors and nurses
We could pretend to be doctors?
hello nurse!
Ooh! Can I pretend to be a doctor? That'd be fun!
"I'm sorry, you've only got 3 days to live. Nah, just kidding! Haha!"
ha ha ha ha
Some of us nurses are blokes yah know!!!
dressing up!
*Lib hands stethescope to pen and pager to snorgle* Now you've got doctors kit you can properly pretend! [snorgle] When people ask me if they're going to die, I'm often tempted to say "Yes" then pause before adding "but we're all going to and I couldn't tell you when will be your time". But have resisted being quite so flippant as yet. [pen and snorgle] Would you like some scrubs to wear and maybe a white coat too?
stethoscopes
Lib] Can I have a stethoscope as well please ? Where are you a doctor ?
New game
In the hope that we might have a new game to play on tomorrow's all-important first anniversary, should we nominate one for killing off, or shall I be naughty and make a space for it? For the latter I'd probably need to start it myself - so if the birthday verse game has legs, what should it be called?
and while i am about it..
Lib, maybe you can help me.... Does a doctor's doctor doctor the doctor according to the doctrine of the doctor being doctored, or does the doctor's doctor doctor the doctor being doctored according to the doctoring doctor's doctrine ?
and while i am about it..
Lib, maybe you can help me.... Does a doctor's doctor doctor the doctor according to the doctrine of the doctor being doctored, or does the doctor's doctor doctor the doctor being doctored according to the doctoring doctor's doctrine ?
So good...
... you said it twice!
or maybe...
That's another bug?
Bollocks...
The simulpost protection is broken!
doctoring
[st d] Sorry, i've only got one stethescope, I threw my old one away as it hurt my ears. I've got a tourniquet that you can have, if that's good enough. Currently I'm doctoring in Stockport, but in three weeks I'll be curing the sick in Macclesfield.
Earbleed
[Lib] Couldn't you turn the volume down?
Oh...
...and I think the simulpost protection is fixed.

Don't upgrade your code, kids!

earbleed, indeed...
[rab] Twas not a volume thing (and LOUD IS GOOD regarding stethescopes) but the earpieces were really hard and hurt my little external auditory meatuses. New scope has nice squidgy earpieces so I'm no longer sore.
Stockport - what a lovely bridge there is there. Can I assume that you are pretty newly qualified then ? I used to see a girl who did her med degree at St Andrews and then when she qualified she was at Stockport for a few months.
scrubbing up
[Lib]Yes please! *Now what naughtiness can I get up to..*
[widey]I certainly hope so! In the absence of dishy doctors, naughty nurses are a necessity.
games all round
[rab] Don't kill anything. Go on, you know you want to up the game limit for the special occasion.
[snorgle]*Lib runs towords theatre and picks up a nice blue pair of scrubs for snorgle and a hat and mask too*. Top tip.... scrubs make excellent pyjamas.
twittering away . . .
I was so knackered after finishing work this evening that, after dinner, I slept for 5 hours. Now it's the wee small hours and I'm wide awake, but am I worried? No, not I ... for it's the First Birthday of MC5 ... wahay
[rab] I didn't start the Any-Versary Game because it's been rather quiet in here this week [probably because the Chat has been extensive in both MCiOS & Orange]. I can only conclude that there IS some support for the idea as no-one has objected or come up with an alternative :-).
birthday cake
Blimey - it's nearly 9.30 .. no cake, no people, no pressies?
Happy Birthday MC!
woohoo! *blows horn and prances around idiotically in surgical scrubs*
I've got the horn.
[Chalky] Sorry, late in this morning, and logistical difficulties meant no net access til now.
Oh...
... and there's a special game slot open too... one day only... snap up those bargains etc.
fanfare!
[rab] what a lovely horn player you have there. ;o)
Hurrah!
My flatmate and I are now booked into the Salvation Army hostel in downtown Reykjavik for a four night stay in April! Happy Holidays for me! I need to buy a new sleeping bag... any recommendations?
Whoo!
Happy Birthday MC5! Will the special slot be for Haiku, Daily Mail Headlines, or something else entirely?
Holidays
[pen] I've been to Iceland. Its a fantastic place, although rather expensive. I'd recommend seeing the geyzers and other geothermal attractions. Sorry, but can't really help with the sleeping bag decision.HAPPY BIRTHDAY mc5!
Sleeping Bags.
penelope, I find that there is only one choice of sleeping bag that will be tolerated here and now on this site and on this day. Fortunately they are indeed widely regarded as being amongst the finest, if not the very pinnacle, of current sleeping bag technology. Slightly expensive perhaps, but I have had one since 1990 and it is still gorgeous and warm and in great condition and I have used it a lot. I direct you all and sundry , to the benchmark of sleeping on the top of himalayan mountain excellence, ladies and gentlemen, I direct you to...........

*****crescendo drum roll, circling spotlights*****

RAB

(beat that)
Felicitations
Happy birthday MC5!
rabsnoozers
[st d] I can beat that. it's impossible. Anyone would think we had been building this coincident-rich verbal stunt for the past two weeks or so... And I'm seriously looking at the site now. Thank you :o)
rab bags
pen] all i can say is this. Buy one. You will never regret it. They are gorgeous.
rabby birthday
Quite appropriate really as it is rab we have to thank for mc5.
bob the dog
pay attention, lad!
P.
Don't want to get too self-indulgent but I really should thank:
  • Projoy - for the logo (and not suing me for ripping it off, or manipulating it at times like this).
  • Nik - for the hardware, and keeping the site live beyond the call of duty.
  • Everyone else - for playing, and for not cocking up the HTML (only two fixes required in a year's play).
Right, time to get pissed.
logolicious!
Like the logo, btw.. :-)
Duty, maybe, but decency and morality, no. Anyway, it's a good 5 months (to the day-of-month - how freaky?) until MC5's birthday at angrycake.com. Which box has just reached 43 days uptime, while I figured this post out.
Uptime
Oh, that uptime is so low only because <spoddy reason in the rollover>. Also, 43 days probably extends further back than the last time the DSL was down.
It's been a year...
Did the Earth move for you too?
MC5 -- the early days
oooh ... I've just looked back to the very first entries in this game and was pleased to see that I was there! :-)
Is anyone up for an Anniversary Chat [e-pilg MCiOS] in an hour or so [when you all return from Friday night fun]?
Spooky coincedences
Today is my birthday. However, I'm not 1.
"Mrs" Bob gave me a copy of a David Icke book that she found in an Oxfam in Bath. Apparently the Queen is a lizard. Just my sort of book :o)
S'Razhdyeistvom MC5
I thought you'd lik a nice russian greeting for this momentous occasion, so...
S'Raaaa-zhdyeistvom
S'Raaaa-zhdyeistvom
S'Razhdyeistvom MC5
S'Raaaa-zhdyeistvom! It sounds better after lots of vodka.
Completely nothing to do with anything
Are there any American players out there who are fans of Pyramid?
Oh yes, making it relevant
only if you ever want to see it again I'd write to the distributors before Tuesday because it's just been cancelled....
Pyramid
[ZK] I didn't think it went well with Donny Osmond as host. You can't beat Dick Clark at that show.
Pyramidness
I never did get to see it with Dick Clark. (too young and british) Still, if you know anyone who does like it...
black humour
One should expect it really ... the inevitable round of e-mails following a major news story, in this case, Harold Shipman's suicide. This morning I received the one relating to the plans for a film of his life [starring De Niro] called 'The Old Dear Hunter'. Tasteless, maybe, but I have to confess I chuckled. Do only we Brits have a propensity for laughter in the face of appalling events?
No, there are people with this quality born all over the planet; it just seems that in the UK the concentration is substantially higher and/or less secretive about it. Perhaps UK society is more at home with, or based around, this tendency. After all, it's not so long ago ('help! Help! I'm being oppressed!') that we had little else but each others' misery to find amusing. Oh, and that is a superb pun.
Today
Bit quiet today. And moist, I note.
E-pilg
I'm in right now -- and as I'm not at work today, I won't have to leave at 5 PM EST. :)
Downtime
There will be downtime. I don't know how much, or when. I'm having my ADSL regraded from engineer-installed to wires-only, because Nildram are currently doing so for free. I'm using the opportunity to upgrade to 1mbps (downstream only, unfortunately). Whee!
nuttin' at all...
No-one has chatted here today at all, so I thought I'd make an inconsequential start. I'm having a tricky day - three awkward letters to write to clients trying to ditch us (that's only three out of about 100, so all is not lost yet) but we can't have that. Anyway, I'm obviously doing as much as I can to put off actually having to write the letters, so already today I have reported the malfunctioning traffic lights outside the office (three and a half minutes cycles??? I ask you! I had to wait through two changes of lights this morning before getting though - that's nearly seven minutes) made coffee for everyone, stared at the screeen for ages, and posted to a few games. And soon it will be time for lunch.
clients
Surely it is nmore effective to go and see them or to call them up on the phone. Why are they trying to ditch you ?
ditchiness
Long story - to do with the perceived value of advertising v. news press, Head Offices streamlining procedures without informing branches, and the fast turnover of staff in the moto trade which means that no sooner have you got one contact briefed and primed than he changes jobs and you have to start all over again, etc etc. And We would have been to see them but for the fact that I have only recently gained the extra member of staff which has relieved me of the pressure of doing two people's jobs. There was no way I could have taken enough time out of the office to visit this lot in the last quarter of last year while I was qwriting news for the other 97 clients. They're all in the North of england and Scotland.
CrM
I agree with st d. Call them. :-)
like I said...
[CdM](I nearly swore at you there)... you don't have to sit at my desk trying just to get put through to the people I have to talk to. Let's not talk about it any more - I've had enough for today.
getting through to people
pen] you obviously aren't doing it very well if they aren't coming to the phone to talk to you. I mean ...(joke joke joke joke joke joke joke) ;o)
getting the 'joke'
I'm pleased you pointed out it was a joke, because I wouldn't have spotted it otherwise. :op
Anyway, who's for pizza?
e-pilg
I was certain that I put a move in here - and I can't find it anywhere else..have we lost anything?
Marbles?
Well that goes without saying..
anything else?
Very strange feeling - I'm meeting someone this evening and was told to be at Mornington Crescent at 8. I wanted to say something like - "Direct from Paddington? I'm not sure that's allowed under the Walsh-Hemerington Allowance of 1932, at least with an unstacked podume," but I didn't.
more warnings
Just in case anyone on Celebdaq has any shares in Arnie, the Board have issued a statement to suspend his shares from midday on Thursday, 22nd January 2004, so sell any shares in him now.

The other sensational news for D class celeb watchers is the return od I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here. The line up being
John Lydon
Neil Ruddock
Alex Best
Kerry McFadden
Jordan
Mike Read
Lord Brocket
Peter Andre
Jenny Bond
Diane Modahl
I will admit even at this early stage, that my shares will be on my adolescent hero from the Sex Pistols, to become King of the Jungle.

Bliss.
How ignorant I am. Of the list above I recognise only Lydon, Jordon, Read and Peter Andre (Although I haven't a clue what or who he is).
Whoops.
Hungover :) And it seems there are those who think this site is a search engine. Odd.
Ask Jeeves
What is a Fairy Hammock??
which Mike?
Which Mike Read? Is it:
*sings*
Mike Read, Mike Read
275 and 285
Mike Read, Mike Read
National Radio 1!
or is it Mike Read of 'Runaround............ NOW!
*Drags head out of Seventies TV and Medium Wave radio back to the noughties and the fact that she *still* can't get a digital TV signal*
junglers
So who's Lord Brocket?
And .. Jenny Bond? The 'royaller than the royals' lady?
Also ... notice that all the first names have either 4 or 5 letters in them [apart from Jordan who's a whole country anyway]
[pen] You should be able to get a radio signal - why not use the dosh to buy a DAB radio?
It's yet another indication of how woeful TV has become these days. Anything with the word "celebrity" in the title, you know will be dire; furthermore, you know that it will push the word "celebrity" so far that it will lose all meaning. I mean, George Best's wife? Someone who reports on the royal family? And those are the ones I have vaguely heard of. Remember "Celebrity Wife Swap" with the bloke who cheated on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Neither does anyone else. I was on Zig Zag when I was 10. I'd probably qualify as a "celebrity" for one of these programmes.
john Lydon
I think it is a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very sad thing indeed that he is appearing on that show. Very sad. I mean, really, what's the point anymore ? Why go on ?
unless.....
unless of course he just tells everyone to faaark orffffff and refuses to do anything at all. That might be quite entertaining.
effing offers
[st d] I think that's the idea. And frankly I hope it happens.
BTW, I'm having a slightly better afternoon today - my boss has just stopped riding his electric scooter around the office to serve me a cup of Earl Grey and a gingernut.
damn DAB
[Chalks] I've thought about it - but Digital TV was supposed to be an economy, because you can get digital radio through the TV. It was £60 to receive Digital TV + Digital Radio through the digibox, OR £70-odd for just digital radio through a DAB set.
Run Around
[pen] Apropos of Run Around, it struck me that the Iowa caucusses which have just been held were reminiscent of Run Around.
cor cussing
One might think the plural of caucus would be 'cauca' [what a corker!] or even 'caucii'. My Chambers English Dic is non-committal by suggesting that the etymology is dubious and it might be derived from John Smith's Algonkian word Cawcawaassough, an adviser. I'm sure someone over can shed more light .... ?
surreal spam
I got some spam - normal get-rich-quick rubbish, but the following was on the end of the mail..
I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement. Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions. `With a torch.' `Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"
S'not fair snorgs - you always get the most exciting spam :-)
Corkers
[Chalky] That's more or less the etymology I've heard as well, from no less eminent a source than Bill Bryson (Made In America). "caucii" seems an unlikely plural since "caucus" isn't of Latin origin... All the same though, the one thing I do know is that the real trick with spelling the plural of "caucus" is knowing when to stop.
the Latin theory
[Duncussessesesess] After the Caucus Club of Boston (in the 1760s), possibly from Medieval Latin caucus, drinking vessel. [Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.]
Caucii
Simple - the plural of caucus is caucuses. That's from the lexicon I keep here in the shack - The New Penguin E.D. - etym. 'probably of Algonquian origin'. Algonquians being of east coast American peoples; ergo - N.Y slang! ... ;-)
Why is it?
At 0500 hours I get a craving for chips with lots of vinegar? I'm the wrong genda to be pregnant. Maybe if I get a sex change the cravings will be justified????
DAB radio vv TV
Pen] The value of the set-top box has to be off-set against TV licence (going up to £121 in April). So cost of TV (£70) divided by life of TV (£10 + 7 years x £121) = £875 for 7 years viewing. I personally feel that it is not worth it. I have no TV, watch DVDs on my PC and get all my news/current affairs/entertainment from The World Service, R4, R6 & R7 on my DAB radio (£70). OK, so I miss out the quality stuff like I'm a Celeb, Emmerdale, Kilroy and The Bill, but I'll live :o).
dubious maths, Bob.
I'm not convinced. You can't offset the cost of a digibox against the TV licence, you have to add them together! (I know that's a point against, but still...) And a Digibox will receive digital radio signals through the TV. Plus, I think you have to factor in the fact that I was going to blag half the money from my flatmate :o)
I also watch DVDs on my laptop, and listen to a lot of R4 but I do appreciate a bit of telly from time to time, especially some of the documentaries, history and natural history programmes, stuff like Grand Designs and some comedy. Last night, though, my TV wasn't switched on at all.
I think my main gripe is the fact that although they're advertising digital TV (in the BBC's case, 'pushing' - isn't that still advertising?) as much as they can, not everyone can get it and there's no schedule to let people know when they will be able to get it. When I asked, I was told to lobby my MP about it. I think that's the woolliest consumer advice I've ever received.
maths - never my strong point
Pen] Yer-right!
Cost of TV (average) = £70
Cost of Set-top box = £50 (£49 in Argos)
Life expectancy of both = 7 years
7 years of TV licence at £121 = £847
Total cost of TV+set-top for 7 years viewing = £967
£967 divided by two (you and flat-mate) = £483.50.
OK so I'm a pedantic bugger, but I'm also justifying my own decision not to have a TV to myself. I do not miss the natural history stuff as the best of it is available in my local library (I watch them on my pc with my 8 year-old daughter). I also miss some documentaries but I've been at the sharp-end of BBC misrepresentation so I am only too aware of how documentaries and news items are often sexed-up to present an 'angle' that will pull in the punters rather than tell the truth.
BBC misrepresentation
Does the culture of mis-representation not extend as far as the hallowed halls of Radio 4? Did anyone tell John Humphries yet? As an aside (I warn you, I think I'm pre-menstrual today - I've already had a go at Mastercard on the phone this morning) The Today programme really pisses me off - the last quarter of an hour today was five mintes of JH taking the piss out of a Pensioners' Cross-Party political party which was launched today, and the other ten minutes in 'serious' debate about Cricket. I ask you...
Being Pedantic
B. the D.] News and current affairs can't be that good on DAB because you appear not to have heard that "Killroy" has been pulled. Highly amusing article on page 5 of the new "Private Eye" on the subject of Mr K.-S. by the way.
hallowed halls of R4
pen] Right again, the mis-representation I was subject to started on R4 - a report by Trixie Rawlinson in fact. All (sensationalist) news reporting should be taken with a pinch of salt - and somehow I find it easier to be objective to news broadcast on the Radio where there are no emotive images.
Bigsmith] I shall be more attentive for vital news like this in future ;o)
Today
I really cannot stand The Today Programme. In my eyes it comprises largely onanistic playground squabbles masquerading as informed debate. The questions posed often fail to hit any substantive target and the guests frequently have the communication skills of a mop and bucket. Plus I simply cannot cope with that much talking first thing in the morning. R3's as much as I can cope with (prob. less than 10% chat, not to mention those long pauses they're famed for).
morons morons evrywhere
I have just gone over to watch a little video thing on a computer of a girl at work. It consisted of a "rifle man's view" (ie B/W with crosshairs) of some iraqis running for cover then being blown to pieces with US voice commentary on top. Now I am not commenting on the rightness or wrongness of the US soldiers doing the killing, but rather this MORON girl laughing withher nasal estuarine horse laughter at it. She seems to think it is funny ? I don't get it.
Oh god st d, I sympathise.
Beavis & Bush-head
[st dogma] Was she laughing "huh-uh-huh,huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-huh,huh-huh" ?
HTML Primer
[Dr Q] Bravo. Go on - don't be shy. Put the link in here aswell :-)
I'm sure rab will give it the signpost it deserves.
HTML Primer
Yes - I promised DrQ to put a link to it on the site somewhere... what I really want to do is create a 'help' page. I've got the nuts and bolts of it written, just need to construct the text. Maybe this'll get done at the weekend.
Did I forget to x-post?
Well, here it is, then. The MC Basic HTML Primer.
Q-text
We can expect some
  • Useful
  • Interesting
  • Informative
  • Exciting and
  • Bizarre
posts from now on then.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT
There are people here who are even more grumpy than me, which is nice. Bob the Dog has got the right idea. TV is nearly all crap. I look at the Radio Times and think "thank God for the radio - esp. R4". Jazz FM and R3 have their moments, too. But, except for the football, which is good, R5 is utterly dire. It's like a perpetual down-market You and Yours. Hasn't Susan Bookbinder got a horrible harsh voice, compared with the velvet tones of Charlotte Green and the luscious Corrie Corfield?
Funnily enough, I used to have a job which consisted of trying to think of new TV programmes (in the "light factual" category, and I think we all know what that means). It wasn't quite as soul-destroying as you might think, but let's just say it wasn't really me. I've never in my life listened to the radio apart from a few very rare occasions so I have no idea what the Today programme or any others are like...
Mumbles into half-drunk cold coffee...
Rosie] I'm not grumpy! Its Bob the dog by the way, never Bob the Dog.
:o) - I like this!
Best stop here...
puzzled
[Bob] Who's the face on the crab?
Chalky] Ah, the crab of ineffable wisdom! I think it is David Icke. I got him from here. The following is his nemesis..
very puzzled
As I can't see Bob's marquees on my browser, the foregoing makes very little sense indeed.
[Rosie] Why listen to R5 if you detest it so much? I formed the same impression of it when it started, and I haven't listened to it since.
Radio 5
I do listen to it - but mainly quite late at night, when it's better. I listen to it in the mornings too, but wish they didn't have Nicky Campbell on then - he really is terrible at interviews!
[rab] Use a different browser then! Btd's animations are great!
A Null Set If Ever I Heard Of One
Quality and TV? Ha!

It's a ridiculous cliché to say that British telly is the best in the world, but there's also some truth in it. Try watching US telly sometime - yes, there are good programmes on (after all, many of them are shown on British telly too) but the amount of utter irredeemable tripe is enormous and far outweighs the good stuff (at least on terrestrial). One very good reason that there is no licence fee in the States is that nothing being put out on the terrestrial networks is worth it.

We have a TV in order to watch Star Trek. That's about it.

HTML
To recap:
  1. I created this for no reason
  2. ...other than to see how it looks
  3. ...and I'm impressed!
This and that
(Raak) Your logic is impeccable, but possibly does not address the practicalities. The footy on R5 is good because they never pretend a poor match is good. I have even heard Michael Green say "this is dreadful". So you get the truth, more or less. So the radio gets left on R5 sometimes and I turn it on and get all this crap I mentioned. The same can happen in the car. (Bob the lower case dog) Dreadful sorry - will be more careful in the future. Like your crabs, but could Thrax and I please have some of those F****** LOBSTERS.
it's all rather good
I feel I must make a stand for Blode.
More Blode
Much more Blode and other stuff here. Some of it is quite rude. My favorites are Big Pants Treking and The Beatles.
Even more
Oh yeah, and We Like the Moon and Mark Larma, Gerbil Farmer. My all-time favorite flash animation is this one.
Hmm, try again
My all-time favorite flash animation is this one.
Nudge
*nudges Btd in the direction of the 'Preview' button*
... interruptin' Flashing Bob
[Bob] hauling you back ... I don't think that IS David Icke smiling on the crab. I thought he'd been swallowed by the 'globe of destruction' that is the bizarre workings of his mind, but it seems not. He's on the telly as I type.
...again
I'm working at home today. Well, I say that. I'm really trying to figure out a sign-writing [by hand not machine] job for my local pub, whilst keeping a close eye on the short-term weather forecast [snow on Monday]. OK - in reality I'm faffing around on here with the ITV1 in the background. It's ever so cosy :-) OMG - D Icke is completely barking ...
Icke it is in the real world
David Icke used to be a harmless nutter, but now seems to be spouting dangerous anti-semitic messages. He believes that we are governed by reptiles from space under the title of the 'Babylonian Brotherhood'. He believes that the death of Pricess Diana was a sacrifice to the gods (by the Windsors, Spencers and Al-Fayeds) and that presedent Bush (amongst others) attendeds ritual baby eating sacrifices. We'll he is possibly right there. (To any American air-port officials who may wish to arrest me, that was a J O K E ok?). He hates the Freemasons who have this to say about him.
sequal No 5
rab] following Nina posting over on Orange, would you be willing to host the film review forum and putting Anni-Verse-Ary Game to bed?
Etching
[Inkspot] I have etched my response into an Orange.

Mind you, the Verse game has not really caught on... so its replacement with, erm, something would probably be A Good Thing.

Replacements
[rab] We haven't had Mornington Dictionary for a while (that is, definitions for made up words rather than new definitions for existing words). Mind you, that's usually hosted at MCiOS...
Stupid Bugger
Of course, in offering that suggestion I was neglecting to notice that the 2002 Mornington Dictionary game is, er, still going on MCiOS.

Forget I mentioned that.

Hyakugojyuuichi!!
I, er, don't get it.
More white plastic bags
rab] strange that about the verse game not catching on perhaps people prefer to 'add-a-line' to make it more of a participation game, rather than the whole verse as set out. There we go live and learn.
I know story games have only a limited base of followers, but again see if it floats, Short Reverse Stories, each about 5-15 moves of approx 100ish words, if it sinks ... it gets killed off and gets replaced.

Meanwhile over at Daq Towers, the hamsters have been busy, I had been expecting x_sugarbabe_x, at the top, but keeping it in the family its Chalky as No1 over at Celebtity Mornington Crescent, and will DrQu+xum be ready to take over next week?

Just registering my annoyance - the Verse Game has been ditched after only a week! All this to make way for a load of film chat, eh? Which just happens to occur in MCiOS, eh? [and is a very fine game - believe me, I'm not knocking it] So - if commenting on some other person's 'work' takes precedence over our own poetic/literary endeavours then so be it. I'd obviously read it wrong.
Anniversary, Birthday, Cessation
I thought, Chalky, that it was only meant as a temporary tribute to the first birthday of the site. Maybe I misinterpreted something along the way. No, I have nothing against a verse game of some sort so please do not take that comment the wrong way.
Is there some way we could meet in the middle on a new verse game? I like the participatory nature - it's fun to watch something twist away - but maybe something where it isn't limited to one line, and also maybe not limited to one particular verse form. Whoever starts declares a form - either specifically (e.g., Petrarchan Sonnet) or by establishing a rhyme and metre scheme, and puts out as much as they feel like. That way, anyone feeling truly inspired can provide a complete chunk for us, and the dullards among us can trip over 5 feet of iambic pentameter.
Invite to everyone....
To visit my bands home page,sign the guest book and listen to the free tunes! http://www.papalazarus.com Have a funky day!
You're my wife now...
widey] Happy boppy stuff! Did the name come before or after the League of Gents?
... ooh
Sorry I came over all stroppy-like last night with my little rant. Of course, it IS possible to carry on playing the Any Verse Game 'below the line'. Simple solutions like that don't really register after a skinful :-).
Shape-changing reptiloids
[Bob the Dog] Interesting stuff about Icke, although as I understand it, the charge of anti-semitism seems to be unfair - I believe that what happened is that people heard him ranting about alien lizards running the world and thought it was his offensive way of referring to Jews, when in fact he really did mean alien lizards and wasn't talking about Jews at all. All the same, it seems very odd to me that everyone's response to David Icke is that he is a weird nutter who is beneath contempt, rather than that he is clearly mentally ill and needs help. This is what happens when you play sport, you know.
Correction
I meant, of course, "Bob the dog", with a firmly lower-case noun there.
Oi Stop thief...........Papalazarus
we nicked it from the LOG but it happens to be Duffers middle name!!!!
I wanna ride my Icke
Breadmaster] I think one of the things that fascinates me about DI is that he has been like this for so long. That is not to say that people with mental illnesses only have it for a short period, rather that he is being taken so seriously and that no-one has managed to get him any real help.
[Btd] Perhaps he's actually the front man for the real conspiracy, who maintain him in public view to spout lunatic theories as a camouflage and to draw likely recruits. Their agents go covertly to his meetings, get into conversation with other people there, and when they suss a likely prospect, tell him that of course Icke's crazy, how the world really works is such and such, and do they want in?
Gathering more net space to self
I'm sure I've seen most of the stuff listed above before (Moon song, crab whotsit etc), the total randomness of the Internet is so fantastic, it's unbelievable. Things like sqa.com really underline the total iognorance of some people (8-/). The Google directory has some truly laughable links. *sigh*
User names
For some time I have been pondering over the use of long names on MC sites and their attempt to dominate the screen, disrupt the eye and generally just be a bloody nuisance. Now I know. See here and scan down the list of the territory tyrants. ... :-)
Grrrr!
Link faulty: Try this one. ... ;-)
Oi, Googolplex
Much as I admire, revere, and love the name which nature or some other kindly creature has bestowed on you, is there any chance you could change it to a shortened version or acronym? What with it stretching the browser and all....
Name Controversy
Wow - this is the biggest naming controversy since The Two Jonathans! :)
It was I!
[Dujon] That Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg and I are one and the same: I have e-mailed the M.E. in the past and managed to get both myself, and a friend (Elmon the King Slug of Bangladesh) portions of the world. Ask her, if you don't believe me. Oh, and have you seen the quotes page? [ZK] Thank you, you are a lovely grovvely indidvidual: are you related to Chalky? ;-) I loathe it when people type my name as an acronym. If you must shorten it, make me "Googolplex" as above.
My name is too long too
Welcome Googolplex, I like your full name. I have often wanted to shorten my own for the sake of easy typing, but is Btd funny?
We're on at the same time!!!!!!! What do I do?
[Bob the dog] I don't know whether you're being sarcy or complimentary! I'm the only other person I know who has that effect on people (although, not on the net). Now I'm so confused! Btd could be funny; it depends what you make of it.
The written word...
Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg] - [sorry I got it wrong first time] Ah ha!
Help!
A help page has been added, and it contains a link to DrQ's reference. If anyone has any improvements to the text, let me have them. The same goes for the various buttons on these pages too.
[Bob the dog] No, yours isn't.
[GtABGfL] Particularly on this site, where the font is bigger than MCiOS, it's a teensy bit annoying. And no, I'm not related to Chalky or ZK or Dujon...
Info page
[rab] Much obliged for the link . . . and you forgot BPMCF ;)
Oh, noooo....
[Bob the dog] Stop with the mind games!!!!
Bob the dog
I've been meaning to ask - why don't you have dog as Dog? Is it some grand mystery of the universe? Or is there a simpler explanation?
Deepdarkmysterysofthemind
ZK] When I first started on !York I used my real name - a very odd and silly thing to do, especially as I have an memorable name and at that time was in a high profile job. So, after an announcement of my intentions, I changed my on-line identity. After a short trip as Roobiroo, I became Bob the dog, named after my brothers dog, Bob. My brother has a dog, not a Dog - and as I am really playing on his behalf, I am very careful not to abuse his very well-earned doggy title.
Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg] I am not related to Chalky, ZK, Dujon or Toby either. If that helps.
high-profile job
[Btd] According to Google, you are the Head of the CIA's clandestine service and Deputy Director for Operations. Or is farming more in your line?
It's all relative
And there I was under the impression that I was related to all of you...now, I'm just confused!
Relations?
[ZK] You must be from West Virginia! ;)
name calling
[GtABGfL] That's the second [or maybe third] time you've accused me of grovelling. I was being polite when I kindly requested you shortened your name for the Doubles Game in MCiOS, simply because the truncated nature and content of the entries in that game makes for ease of reading. Scanning down the page, which is part of the fun, becomes impossible if diverted by the swivel-eye effect of your long name. As you have now decided to expand your activities into Orange MC and here, I shouldn't be surprised if you get further polite requests to 'wind yer neck in' ....
monicker inflation
Wind yer neck in, Goo-Boy. It's a visual irritant.
Nom de ploooooooome
Indeed. Recall that my handle is an abbreviation as well. It's short for DrQuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

[to be continued]
Necks
[Chalky] Sorry if I offended you, i tend to get stuck on ideas from time to time, but it's a fair enough comment. In games like that, I may well relinquish my title and stick with my name: is that fair? [Rosie] Dearie, your sentence is so irritating, it should've arrived in a yellow bottle with "Harmful Irritant" on an orange background with a huge black cross on it. Don't call me "Goo-Boy" and I'll start making changes. *sob*
Goat-boy
Is that better? Stop being so obsessive, or I'll get the whip out!
Pin the tail on the donkey
Projoy] Ooo arr!
Aesthetics
In the interests of aesthetics, excessively long monikers are auto-truncated on the front page. [DrQ] grr... formatting...
Googolplex the amazing balancing goat from luxembourg
AT first I thought that our ruminant luxembourgeois friend's name was somewhat irritating in it's length. Now however I like it and would be most upset and sad if she (for I believe that the "goat-boy" is indeed a she - I remember these details) were to revert to a simple Googolplex (or Euro Goat or whatever). I do have a question though - are you in Luxembourg now ? Indeed are you even actually from luxembourg ?
Wonders why he bothers.
Effiminancy
[st dogmael of the house of Cunedda, the son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda Wledig] *Ah bliss*. I'll come back to that. [snorgle] You are a darling, but that kind of aggressive flirting, isn't for me. [st dogmael of the house of Cunedda, the son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda Wledig] Check Orange MC for a little evidence.
St Dogmael could of course shorten himself to Toel, the name by which he is known in some parts of Brittany.
I've been amazed by some of the gender revelations of recent weeks. !York used to have a "who's who" page, didn't it? We should reinstate such a thing.
yeah yeah, shoot me down now...
I too find that long names, when used constantly, are very annoying, and would like it if people could stop using them. Not that you will, as evidenced above. Games end up cluttered and difficult to scan, which puts me off playing them - it's too much effort to avoid the bandstanding (not that anyone would've noticed any absence, but so be it).

I thought Googolgoat was a good alterative moniker (as seen on MCiOS), which keeps the essence of the name while avoiding initials. Oh well, I'll shut up now.

And I apologise if I offended anyone, but I'm having a rotten couple of months. *shuts up properly, now*
...a continuation...
...uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

[flerdle] Keep talking, please!
goatiness or otherwise
re: goatboy - as I typed it I had a sneaking suspicion, but I figured what the hell! I bet she's not a real goat, either.. [st dogmael of the house of Cunedda, the son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda Wledig]*cracks whip*
Grrr...
Let's put this in words of one syllable shall we: long strings of text with no spaces fuck up the formatting. Don't do it.
Who's got my mascara?
What evidence is there that suggests I'm a woman? [snorgle] You absolute beast you!
sex (either or)
I dunno. I blame dogmael. *thhppppptttt* So, are you a goat or not?
January blues
Cheer up flerdle! Do you want to hear about my bad day? My car knows that I have to be in Cumbria tomorrow. It also knows that I'm running low on ££ as I have not been paid since December. My car hates me. So over the weekend it decided to have a tantrum. I tried everything to fix it, but it was a big expensive alternator problem I couldn't do anything about. So, having wasted most of my weekend I got up extra early to drop my car at a garage and arranged with 'notMrs' the dog to borrow her car for the trip to Cumbria. We then discover that her car won't start either. What is worse, as she steered it back into our parking space, the open door jammed into a neighbours wing and badly dented it. The neighbours car is a brand new Audi and the neighbour has just been round to tell us that repairs will cost £500. Of course insurance will cover it but we loose our no claim bonus and have to pay the first £100 repair. Plus our premiums will go up. Add a two-year-old with a raging cold and an eight-year-old coping with loss of hamster, liberally sprinkle with my own grotty mood because I’m on a diet and you have a recipe for glumness. Plus the weather forcast for Cumbria is very scary. Flerdle, you are not alone!
Poised Goatliness
Thanks for compromise [ref. Doubles Game :-)] and for the record, I couldn't give a flying fart whether you're male/female/hermaphrodite/single cell amoebic/whatever - so long as your postings are witty/clever/funny/educational/thought-provoking/etc. thereby compelling me to read them when I sign in and see the name on the index pages. I'm a huge fan of some of the regular posters in this elite community - but I wouldn't dream of naming names .....

*sympathy hugs* for flerdle, rab and Bob [whose simulpost I've just seen]

insurance
No, your NEIGHBOUR has to pay the excess and then he claims it back through his insurance, from your insurance! Don't let him tell you otherwise! Unless you mean your own excess, of course - but I didn't get the impression that you damaged your car that badly..
Things that go bump
Nah - 'notMrs' the dogs car is fine. So the neighbour who so kindly came round to tell us it'd be £500 has to pay excess does he? Thanks snorgs.
The good news is
Yey! I've lost 5lbs!
The Incredible Lightness of dogs
[Bob] I say, well done! I went on a wine diet over the weekend and lost three days.
Going spare?
Has there been any recent discussion about what to do with the vacant plot? I'd love to see a revival of "Ye Crescent Morningtowne" from Orange a couple of years ago.
all sorts
re:Goatsex] I am sure that it was admitted by the goat at some time recently, when a link was posted to a site with manga cartoons or some such. Maybe that was just a strange dream ?
Bob] Sounds messy. Did the wee kiddo have a birthday ? Many happy returns from me and tell her I said to get over the hamster and move on. Tell her to buy a Giant Tortoise next as they live longer and she will in all likelihood lose interest in it long before it shuffles off it's mortal coil. ;o0
Actually, I'm a Great Crested Grebe
[Chalky] Hmmm, that list sort of limits my potential posts to the "etc" range. [son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda] You pipped me to the post! And no, my gender is not revealed at Hunter's Glade.
Hunters Glade
GP] No - but I am sure I remember you mentioning your gender when you posted that link.....
memory not that good
though as I cant for the life of me remember WHERE you did post that, I can't go back and check....
e-pilg tonight?
I might be around after 9 pm ... any ideas for a theme?
theme?
Bread and Circuses!
hugs etc.
[rab] I noticed the auto-truncating on the front page, darling - thank you.
[Bob the dog] Well done, you. That's the kind of weekend that would put five pounds in beer calories on me....
[flerdle] sorry it's not getting better. *hugs* [pen] What does that mean?
No, my gender isn't there either. Where did I leave it?
[st dogmael] It was "Read any good books lately?"
Abbr.
[rab] The name doesn't abbreviate on the non-CSS page...not like that matters, really.
Bob the dog - done to excess
Hah! Your stupid neighbour thought he'd save money on his insurance by upping his excess, and now he's trying to get you to pay it! Trust me, ring your insurer and they'll confirm it. (so will your neighbour's insurance company). I used to get that all the time in my last job - people thought it was unfair(once they had a claim, not before when it was cheaper, oh no!)that they had to pay money when the accident wasn't their fault. But it is possible to get car insurance with nil excess, just more expensive. Your neighbour will have to cough up the dosh himself and wait till his insurance company can claim it back for him. Tough donuts to the cheapskate!
Abbr
[DrQ] Yeah, the ugliness is less extreme there.
Not Tu+xuj, though that's nice DrQ :)
Cor, you fall asleep for a week, and when the prince (well, I'd rather a princess, but I was asleep at the time) wakes you up your mile behind the times. Reading back three pages worth of conversation was great fun though!
[Btd] A blast of positive karma to you, or whatever equivalent you'd prefer. Maybe an Indian takeaway.
Juggles
Btw there's some acrobatics in the chat room just now.
jiggling
well there was, at any rate.
Bread and Circuses
[Chalky] Someone famous said it - it's the formula to keep the populace happy, I think. I'm sure Google can help.
As luck would have it...
Hoorah for my degree! (er, the one I'm presumably going to have in 3 years' time) That was Juvenal, in his satire #10...

"A body that used to confer commands, legions, rods and everything else, has now narrowed its scope, and is eager and anxious for two things only: bread and races."

Circenses being the latin that can refer to a race or a circus (because of the arena, which was a circuit). Of course.
Oh yeah...should you so wish
"nam qui dabat olim imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, panem et circenses."
(GtAMGfL) I love "Dearie". If only you knew.
Bread and Circi
[pen, Chalky] It was Julius Caesar, wunnit?
bread and circi
*coughs loudly*
Its sunny down here...
Apologies for sharp exit on epilg last night, something went wrong with my connection. Off to snowy Cumbria soon. I may be some time..
circuts!
It wasn't just you, Bob. It fell over, but got back up later! Nice act, though.
Big topple
Perhaps my act was the show stopper. That’s the last time I do the canine cannonball!
Juvenile humour
I can't think of Juvenal without recalling the programme that was on TV about him a few years ago. It consisted primarily of Stephen Fry wandering the crowded streets of London in a toga, scowling at everything. Personally I think that anything that brings that about has to be a good thing.
insurance excess
snorg] I think you are being rather unfair on bob's neighbour. Most people (I imagine) envisage car insurance as covering them for accidents with people they do not know and for large amounts of money. Now Bob is in the unfortunate position of having just had his car cause damage to his next door neighbour's car in an incident that seems to be 100% the fault of !mrs. bob. Admittedly the "man from Audi" coming and knocking on their door does not endear me to the neighbour, but but but the fact remains that bob has to live next door to these people. We do not know what bob's relationship is with them(good/bad/nonexistent) or what kind of people they are. Certainly though I think it is unfair to criticise them for trying to save money on their car-insurance. I would advise bob to simply give them his insurance details and apologise profusely maybe even give them some wine etc. If they ask for any excess he should say that their insurance companies will deal with it - after all that is what they are there for. What I would envisage happening is that bob's insurance company will pay the claim, and that the excess will actually apply to bob - because the neighbour is actually not using his insurance - other than to deal with bob's insurance company. Hopefully this will all resolve very amicably as I am sure it will and the little two year old will get over her cold and the weather will clear up and flerdle will wake up full of hope joy and love and the eight-year old will go on to be elected RULER OF THE WORLD and a new regime of LOVE and KINDNESS will prevail and humanity will evolve to a new level of peace and understanding and this will all be looked back upon as a fond memory in a happy and distant past.
It's a "B" isn't it?
[Rosie] What is the "M" for?
the bright side of life
[st sunnydog] I'll have a glass of whatever you're drinking :-)
Googolsex (The Amazing Balletic Ghost)
GS] having had a look back you appear to have made no mention there at all. Perhaps I just looked at the quotes page and saw predominately female contributions - I think I assumed you to be Anne ? No matter. You shall remain as ambiguous as you desire. Personally I am actually not a Welsh Monk at all, but rather a Seahorse, with no particular amazing qualities (for a sea horse anyway), from Tasmania. I do have a very pretty tail though.
what I am drinking
chalky] right now, Boots® Effervescent Vitamin C, from my "HITACHI Scientific Instruments" Mug.
what I am drinking
I am drinking a Lovely Cup of Coffee (TM) made by our Administrator Christine (very strong with a lot of milk) and a plastic cup of water with which I am necking Tesco's own label ibuprofen due to having the raging monthlies, damn them. It's at this point in the month when being pregnant would seem to be an attractive alternative. Although the end product isn't...
what I am drinking
Water from a bottle, via Lidl, from Yorkshire. Great slimming drink.
Christine, strong w lots of milk.
pen] Has she just given birth ? Does she work out ?
PJ] From what I remember of you, you ain't got no need for slimmin' drinks me lad.
Stressed!
Take some fying lessons from this guy find a chair and have a cuppa.
beefy mutha
[st d] *snigger*
Drinking
I'm drinking nothing but water. I'm something of an obsessive water-drinker, and unable to do anything without a mug of water next to me. This can be inconvenient at times.
[penelope] I've always pointed out that pregnancy may get you out of the monthlies for nine months, but you don't really escape them as they are essentially all saved up to have in one big go at the end. This observation has helped greatly in my policy of never allowing my chromosomes to get anywhere near the next generation.
M
(Googolp) M stands for typo, as ever. :-)
Drinking
A substance almost but not quite entirely unlike coffee from the uni cafeteria.
Liquidity
I'm with the Loafmeister on this one - I drink about 3 litres of water a day, although I do like a little fizziness around lunchtime, just to break things up. I have one fruit tea in the morning (usually Pink Grapefruit), and then it's water all the way. In fact I'm off to refill now. The reason for this is tied up with the absence of caffeine from my diet - almost two years now - and the ready availability of water from the coolers. Also, I happen to like the tiling in the Gents, which I get to study several times a day...
glug glug glug
Sing hoorah for orange juice! :)
Yes, OJ. Water with vitamins.
Duck me
I've just received an email inviting me to give a talk at a specialised meeting in April... am slightly dumbfounded...
well you know what the medical profs say ... if your 'water' isn't clear then you're not drinking enough water ...

[rab] a 'specialised' meeting ??

mountain airing
Chalky] Have you read one of rab's papers on liquid something or other doing some weird scientific whatsit. It's more specialised than the 'The Furcation Game', it would need an Horizon mini-series.
Specialism
I would cite the title of the meeting, but then I would fear that google might rate this page higher than the official one, with my cover then blown.
Drink?
*checks mini-fridge under desk* Dr Pepper, Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke, Mountain Dew, Code Red, Pepsi, Cherry Pepsi, Cherry 7UP, Schweppes Ginger Ale. ALL YOUR POP ARE BELONG TO US
dr q's pops
DR Q] You really do work in I.T don't you ?
Drenk!
Lemsips, cos of this cold. Grrr.
Fluid Dynamics
Too much coffee, but quite a lot of water too. Indeed, time to refill now. I hope I don't have to make a fresh pot...

Unfortunately when we moved offices we lost free pop privileges, and the coffee here is worse. Hmmph.

Dihydrogen Monoxide
I like lots of water too - good for the skin. Oh, and st d - wasn't that what I said? *is mildly confused now*
for a change...food
I'm currently eating some dairy-free ice cream, which is nice. Tastes a bit like frozen angel delight.
The campus is surprisingly lacking in vending machines, although there are plenty of overpriced shops for your trouble. No water coolers though - i may campaign to have one installed. Cos I don't drink caffeinated or fizzy stuff if I can help it I tend to get pretty thirsty during the day...sing hooray for Evian. however, water fountains are free....
Biscuits
[Rosie] So it does. :-P. My Mum's gone bake crazy: biscuits and cake everywhere!
Fluid intake
I'm amazed by the stuff I read here. Are you all diabetic, or something? I usually have a couple of pints of beer at some pub or other, but if I don't, then no problem, I just do less wee-wee, as one does, or doesn't. Bottled water, I think, is one of the biggest con tricks ever played. Why pay 70p a litre when a virtually identical product comes out of the tap at 44p a ton? It's WATER, for fuck's sake. I find it simultaneously hilarious and depressing how easy it is to relieve people of their money.
In all fairness, yes. But you should taste the tapwater where I live. Ugh.
Water water everywhere
Yup, I drink a fair bit of that stuff - normally take a litre or two to bed with me (no rude comments, please) and knock off about a litre each night. This, of course, is in the fond hope that it will swill out the liver/kidney/waterworks. ... :-(
H2O
A LITRE, Duj? That's nearly 2 pints. In bed?? I'd be up every 5 minutes, if you see what I mean, with that. (ZK) When I was working I used to occasionally take a swig of distilled water, just for the fun of it. It was bland and boring, not a patch on tap water, which in these parts is hard as nails and is basically a dilute chlorinated solution of calcium bicarbonate. Rather good stuff, and of course virtually free.
Water, Water Everywhere
[Rosie] I drink tap water, and lots of it. Fortunately, Portland has rather nice water. My reasons are that I just feel better if I drink lots of fluids, and in particular I run more comfortably.
Indeedy
[Rosie] Yes, I do (drink water). No I don't (get up every five minutes). I try my best to drink as much water as I do wine. Well I'm buggered if I'm going to drink the stuff with the wine. ;-)
weather check
OK - so I know it's very British to bang on about the weather BUT - after all the predictions of snow, arctic blasts, etc., it's blooming gorgeous today here in the mid-south.
chequered weather
Here in the outer London 'burbs (last road before the M25), we had enough snow and sunshine this morning to illuminate the undersides of seagulls and bring a brilliance and light to the landscape that we haven't seen since October. But as I write.... it's still freezing and SNOWING!!!!
Snow snow snow
chalky] London too is gloriously sunny with nice fluffy clouds. It snowed here (well Fulham and Clapham that I know of) last night though - though not for very long.
chalky] not really - or at least I didn't think so.
Arctic Blast
We had a good dump whilst sitting in the pub last night - nice to leave footprints in virgin snow on the way home. Now it's just degenerated into "wintry showers" so I think the slush stage is imminent.
Having a good dump
(rab) Do they put fast-acting laxatives in the beer in your local, then? :-)
precipitation
I walked to Uni in a blizzard today. Yay!!! :)
weather or not
It's been a lovely sunny day in Cardiff, too. A bit nippy, but no arctic blasts so far!
sorry about this
Html is fun!!
Snow is twee: and tweeness is EVIL!!!
Especially when someone you don't like is trying to telll you they fancy you.
I was amazed this evening to look out of the window and see a blizzard - with thunder and lightning! Never seen such a thing before. Of course, it is all melting now, already. There's nothing more depressing than melting snow.
How about
melting snow and a dead puppy?
Puppies are twee, and I hate dogs
cf above
Snow Joke
We've just had a teleconference with one of the presenters wittering on about how cold and snowy it is in New York. Of course, we were sitting there thinking "Woo. We had two weeks of snow and freezing temperatures in Portland and you didn't hear us complaining." Mind you, that could have been because a lot of us weren't in the office.

[Rosie] It was probably Tetleys he was drinking.

And they called it Puppy Love...
[snorgle] Thank you for making me laugh out loud - I needed that!
Snow? Ye' dun'no th' me'nin' of snow!
My driveway pile stands at 51/2 feet and growing.
[BM] We had that during The Blizzard of '93. Comedian Lewis Black once said of that phenomenon: "They don't even write about that in The Bible! And I'd imagine that if a prophet had seen it (after he wiped the poop out of his pants) he would've told us about it!"
Snow...
It's not much, I'm sure, but it means a lot to us. Building a smow-hamster on top of a car and slecging down the road was fun though!
whether the weather be fine, or whether the weather be not...
We were having a snowball fight and decided to venture out of our courtyard to find more people. There was a bunch of boys having a fight down the hill and we saw something they were obviously using as a sledge, so we asked them if we could have a go. They said, "Yeah, but be careful - it's the door off our fridge!"
I can't imagine how they ever planned on getting it back on...
exciting weather
[B'master] We had that here - in the very 10 minutes that I chose to walk from my house to the pub. Blizzard AND thunder & lightning - Oh, how we laughed!
[Googol] You're beginning to be a complete pain in the arse. If you don't like the chat, just don't join in.
Puzzled
[BM and Chalkywhip] That is quite amazing! I cannot recollect ever having heard of such an odd combination, although undoubtedly it happens (not that I'm all that well versed in meteorology.) It must have been a weird experience.
Water water water
We've had three tropical downpours and some light drizzle in the last few days. Some lovely rain, flooding, lighting, the works. Another due for this afternoon, wheee! The rest of the days have been bright, sunny, stinking hot and muggy.
Oh, and I'm still here for at least another week. Or two. Or more. This is getting ridiculous.
Queensland catches up with the rest of the world... ;-)
Hello, flerdle, still stuck? You must be going bananas. (sorry!) Good to see that the Sunshine State has finally matched the rest of the country and installed lighting - it's about time. ... just stirring!
I wonder whether or not you saw the map produced (I think) by the met. bureau showing the lightning strikes over a 24-hour period during that series of storms which ran over us both? For those who have not, it showed a time-line of strikes - they didn't expand, so I'm not sure if these are only the groundstrikes or cloud to cloud stuff as well. There was a number of 48,000 odd quoted! Regrettably my little patch of dirt received only a few millimetres of precipitation although we did have lots and lots of the light effects and noise.
Snow
(Breadmaster) Anything more depressing than melting snow? Yep. Non-melting snow. Couldn't get to where I wanted tonight because of it. Snow and thunder is rare - I've only seen it 3 times, Jan 1966, April some time in the 80's, and now. Trust me - I'm an ex-meteorologist, don't drink, don't smoke, make all my own frocks . . .
Strangely quiet
School, that is. Having fought my way here through the 5 mm of snow, I find I'm alone in the place... one other teacher, and not a sign of a snowball-throwing student... Good thing we don't have real snow here!
torrential snow
Last night was brilliant, except for driving down the M4 in a blizzard, with lightining. It snowed for no more than 20-30 minutes but that was enough for the boys. When I arrived home they were at the window, all three were excited broad grins on their faces. So in the dark is was snowball fights and snowman building, wonderful fun.
Pah
4 flippin' hours to get home (25 miles) in about an inch of snow last night. This may come across as somewhat curmugeonly, but:
If you know (because it's been trailed on the news for about a week) that there's snow on the way, put some petrol in your car.
If you don't like driving in the snow, don't do it. People will give you lifts, there are trains and buses and so on; don't hold the rest of us up by trundling around at 5mph.
If you're sliding, stop braking!
When you see a hill, don't stop. Don't speed up. Don't change gear, revving furiously all the while. If you can't get going again in 1st, stop making ice patches; try 2nd.
Honestly, we must be the most pathetic country in the world when it comes to dealing with a little bit of snow. (Of course, when I say 'we', I mean the southern English. Those of us who grew up in places where it snows quite regularly in the winter were the ones overtaking everyone else this morning - it was wet, not frozen, you... *spontaneously combusts*
And you try telling that to the kids of today...
I had to drive from Cumbria to Stratford-upon-Avon yesterday. Via Birmingham. Set off 4pm. Home at 11.00pm. I managed to avoid the B'ham gridlock, although I was delayed for a couple of hours on the M5. In the circumstances, I think I was lucky. But how I wish I'd seen the lighting storm!

And the poor chickens! They hate the snow and have remained tuck-tucked up in their hen-cot. I gave them extra portions of porridge this morning.
Ah, let's not get into the old "is snow a good thing or not?" debate, which as far as I can see generally splits neatly along the line that divides drivers from non-drivers. As a non-driving aesthetic type I naturally love snow and get very miserable when it goes. And I couldn't appreciate it last night for the 20 minutes that it existed because of a flatmate-related crisis (as usual). One day I shall live all alone in some kind of Arctic permafrost country. With a reliable Internet connection.
waaaaant
*sobs quietly at the thought*
36°C here today, and the storm blew out to sea before it could do anything interesting.
annoying flatmates
[BM]Are all your flatmates attention-seekers? You seem to have a lot of trouble with them.
I do, don't I? Ghastly stuff. They're not attention-seekers though, honest. This one suffers from depression and rather unwisely allowed herself to run out of medication last week, with predictably awful results. Add to this the remarkably unhelpful support for mental health in this country - I took her to A&E (she was really in a bad way) on, I think Friday night, but they were unable to give her anything and insisted that she see somebody on Monday. Quite what she was meant to do for the weekend, on a downer from lithium cold-turkey, was not made clear. In other news, my other flatmate is surviving at the moment, despite being in the throes of an increasingly nasty court case with a certain major organisation currently in the news for its arrogance and intransigence. My other flatmates are moving out and I have to find replacements for them. It's at times like this that I'm glad I work nights sometimes.
Let it snow
[Bread] Not guilty, m'lud. I like snow. I like to look at it. I like to go out in it (sometimes in my slippers); I've even once been out in it wearing less than my slippers. I like watching it fall, and I like driving in it - it's peaceful, and (if you're in a country where they know about driving in the snow) there's a general feeling of "We're all in this together, isn't it fun?" I just don't like driving in it in the Home Counties. I'm currently overhearing a conversation about last night, in which one of my colleagues, who clearly has an automatic car, is relaying how she kept phoning her husband every ten minutes because she was stuck in a snowdrift or halfway up a hill, and she didn't know what all those 'other gears' might do. *sigh*
Taking exception to disprove the rule
I, too, buck your trend, Bm, but from the other angle, being a snow-hating pedestrian. This makes just as much sense as hating it from behind the steering wheel, if not more: I went skating several times this morning quite unintentionally. But my views on the Englsih Winter are well-known from Dunx' Room 101 game, so I need add no more this year.
Ok, we'll let it slide.
I am willing to put up with snow, but having to walk over ice at 8:00 in the morning is a bit much.
slippery slope
I had to run! That was amusing, not!
I like ice!
Wheeeeeeeeeee!
Ice!
You slide across it for a metre or two into a neat crouching position ready to make the next snowball. Thus speaks the voice of experience.
Snow and all things white
I've just come back from 4 days in Prague (*quiet gloat*). The Czech people really know how to deal with snow and cold things in general, but they do have the advantage of not having so much ice. They just get on with it. Yes, its cold, Yes, snow is a pain in the arse but you can't help it so just get on with things (and drive a bit slower and more smoothly whilst you're at it). Sorry if I'm grumpy, think I've spent too much time with my mother!
grumpless Lib
You don't seem to be grumpy :-). I'd LOVE to go to Prague and I wouldn't mind going with my mother either. She provides possibly the most enriching and uplifting moments in my life. She is also very reliable. I am indeed fortunate.
*spare game slot removed due to lack of interest*
smiling Lib
(Chalky) Prague is wonderful. Please visit! I did have a lovely time there and normally things are great between us, just occasionally she gets on my nerves. But I've had a nap and now have things in perspective, I am a lucky littel cresenter to have had a holiday. However being away means I feel a little confused about the Hutton stuff.
*Rab: didn't see it there. If someone comes up with an idea do we get a second chance?*
monday night rocks!
IN a brief chat with Chalky just now, we discovered a new music genre ('Church Hall Rock' - obvious rhymes, twee love themes and heavy guitars) and a new word ('saccentuate', being over-saccharine). And in our Saturday morning flush of creativity, we also thought it would be nice to have some anarchy hit the chat room on Monday night. Just remembering how great rab looked in that long-haired wig from two or three pilgramges ago made me wonder if you lot might be up for a Heavy Metal Night? MC meets Spinal Tap...
[pen] Oh, yes, that wig, are there any pics?
Rock on
Pen] Yeah, yeah, yeah! Sounds good - but can I put in an early request for a Animated Cartoon themed epilg someday soon?
Wiggy
[Raak] I sent Dunx some a while ago, but they have yet to appear.

[All] I may well not be in the chatroom on Monday due to a visitation from my brother; on the other hand, it may not last alnight so I could make a late entry into the charts.

Oh, and...
[Tuj] Indeed you do.
Oh, I see!
[Bob the dog] Now I understand why I had no idea as to wether you were being sarcy in the "Lying Game": I thought it was some offshot of the "Advice" game on MCiOS. Sorry 'bout that.
Big fibs
Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg] Hooray!
Toon Time
[Bog the dob] Take your pick. What would everyone else like to do? Can I be Musky from Deputy Dawg?
rassafrassarickarackets
I'd would come along as Klunk, from Stop the Pigeon, but my Viavoice seems to be having some trouble.

A return to the top for ffiish , thanks to this weeks special celebrity I'm Jordan Get Me on the Front Page

Cashed up
Well done, ffish. I have to admit that this last week I simply cashed in and sat. Not being in the U.K. it can be difficult at times - unless one wishes to spend inordinate amounts of time trawling news pages - so my apologies if I have let down the team.
Pick of the Week
Pen] I can see us getting into a "no, after you!" scenario. But I would like to be Touché Turtle. Or Boo-boo. Or...
cashing up
Dujon] I can understand your reasons, and there is no need to apologise, please play a while longer. If you need a rest buy into a couple of long term stocks that will be steady but will hit the headlines occasionally like the Queen or one or more of the Princes, perhaps J-Lo or a movie star like Russell Crowe. Maybe even a portfolio of three or four blue chips, even on a quiet week there will be a payout. Don't do what I foolishly did I bought a solid earner when they were too high, then their stock plummeted.
e-pilg
I'm all for a cartoon e-pilg tomorrow!
Crisis!
I've just woken up in the middle of my only lecture of the week to discover that while it is taking place in the confines of the institute at the campus, I have been 'happily' dozing back here at my flat. I am going to be in sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much trouble! How did this happen?!
Only lecture of the week? What nonsense is this? Actually, come to think of it, when I was a student I had no compulsory lectures at all, but I still went to them. I'm not sure why.
Gah, I only turned my back for four years and Mornington Crescent Not At York Anymore is gone! This just will not do...
ZK - lateness
Say you were ill. Ring up and apologise, and go in tomorrow (or this afternoon) and get what lecture notes you can. You'll be fine!
So, did anyone else notice the product placement in last night's Auf Wiedersehen Pet?
Yes, but I've forgotten it. There was something where I thought "they can't mention that on the BBC!" but, er, no, it's gone.
placing products
Nope, missed it. What did they show? (BTW, hello Jenny! Have you found MCiOS yet? In case you haven't, just click here to find it. Also tonight from about 8 or 9 pm there is an e-pilg so you can join in if you click on the "Real time chat server" link just under the clock on that page.)
Things
Among other things, Moxey was resplendent in an MC5 t-shirt.
product placement
Oh, no, that wasn't it.
MCiOS
I dimly remember Parslow actually. Blimey, it looks like Kevan is still around. I have a couple of OMD albums that once belonged to him...
neither a lender nor a borrower..
Oh, so you're one of those naughty people who don't return albums! (I'd have nagged you to death myself, but maybe Kevan went off OMD) So where have you been for 4 years?
[ZK] Were you supposed to be teaching it or attending it?
Now the truth can be told
[ZK -- how it happened] I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you ought to know. If you had attended that lecture, you would have met the love of your life and lived a happy life together. However, the son you would have had would eventually grow up to be an evil despot worse than any seen before in human history, responsible for the annihilation of 90% of the human race. Therefore, time travellers from that blighted future came back to last night and laced your drink with large quantities of tranquiliser, ensuring you overslept and missed the lecture, thus averting the creation of that timeline. You may be in trouble now, but think of the far greater calamity that has been relatively painlessly averted.
Seriously, hope you don't get in too much bother over it. (Assuming an "Attending" answer to Raak's Q:) Do they take a register or is it a small enough class that absences are noticeable? What are you studying that only has one lecture a week?
Kevan's albums
I deny it! I paid for those albums fair and square. I could have had his old Modern Romance 12"s as well, but passed.
albumming around
[Jenny]Oh, that's alright then. :) Do you still listen to them?
all my friends want to do my course
{Breadmaster, snorgle, Raak, Brendan] They take a register every week - I have lots to do but it only takes the form of a lecture once, the rest is done in classes (language etc.) I'm doing a Classics BA. As it was, I wasn't feeling well, and told my friend to apologise to my other tutor later today and get everything from that class for me. I caught up on some (apparently) much-needed rest until my flatmate decided that the whole of Birmingham wanted to hear Evanescence and Avril Lavigne at such a volume that you could almost tell what the record producers were eating on the other side of the booth when they were making the song. Yippee.
But I'm still not happy as my lecture is the only historical input they get every week, and one of our lecturers said that the lecture register is one of the first things that alerts them to the fact that you're having problems with your course...ie that you're a layabout. [Brendan] Thankyou, I needed that. :)
We are the Albumen
Not that often, but then the same goes for most of my collection really. I'll probably dig them out now.
[rab] Er... yes, you're right, aren't you? Note to self: pull finger out.
[ZK] My best excuse for not attending Uni lecturers was to claim I was boycotting them. This did not perturb my tutors in the least, acclimatised as they were to student politics. They didn't ask the reason.
And really, you know, it's about time they started using webcams to narrowcast the lectures anyway. I've attended several sessions at the University of Washington (where I'm not even a student) via this method.
Crashin'
Something went wrong with my connection to the epilg again last night. Was it a good-un?
Watersports
Not sure how it compares to others, but I enjoyed my brief visit. I'm a bit worried about some of the late night tv programmes that snorgle watches, shocked I am!
piercing
I was bored, ok? I don't do that everyday, oh no. Not at all. ;-)
last night, he said...
Sorry about my non-participation. I had a chat going on that required all my attention, but I think there *might* be a positive outcome :o)
pen
Oh good! It sounded like something was going on..
*Mimes well done penf - keep us up to 'date' ;o)*
too late
Didn't make it back from Birmingham in time to join you - maybe there's a transcript to read?
Last night
[penfold] Sorry I ran out the second you appeared, wasn't really s'posed to be there. [snorgle] I saw bits of that programme too - my housemate was pretending to be 'reading some academic research papers with the telly on in the background' when I came in from the pub. Incidentally, a present from DrQ has arrived, so could you drop me a line so we can organise duplication and distribution (rab at angrycake dot com).
Who's pink?
Bob the dog
Pink the panther
I never really got started before it went all pear-shaped.
Tannoy
[snorgle] Thanks for your mail - sadly I'm unable to reply as requested cos you neglected to put your desired return email address in. Any chance you could supply the same? Cheers.
pilg requests
Last night Lord of the Rings was mooted as a possible theme for a future week, though I think this was just snorgle wanting to dress up as an elf, in stockings and a tight leather jerkin.
national elf service
looks shockedhowever did you guess?!?
soooooo...
How does one get onto an e-pilg?
e-pilg
[R5] See here. Look just below the clock to see the link to the 'real time chat server'.
Fabulous. Ta!
oh-oh
[Dujon] are you sure you really wanted to tell a Righwraith where to find everyone?? :-)
gah. Ringwraith, it was
wraith of Bob
[Dujon]That was a bit unwise, you know. I'll have to draw him away from the ringbearer(whoever could THAT be?).
Wraith of who?
snorgle] Not guilty!
wraithful
They are all around..
Heresy
I didn't like 'The Return of the King'. Am I alone in this?
RoTK
[Bob] There has been extensive discourse on that very subject in Orange MC [Chat Game].
N E W G A M E ? ? ?
May I express an interest here? Any chance of an MC game? I rather like Kim's idea of a couple of weeks ago.
NG
[Chalky] Could you remind us what that suggestion was?
alone all alone
Bob] I doubt it. I haven't seen it, and have no plans to. I have an aversion to things that become so popular.
Of course, I went to their very first gig in the car park of a sewage farm
[st d] Just curious; what happens if something you like becomes popular after you started liking it? Do you go off it, or do you think "Yay, it became popular, people have occasional flashes of good taste after all"?
Harry Potter? Pah! I knew his parents...
I think std has a point. Once things become too popular, all of their imaginative juices are sucked out by hype and marketing.
tarry ye a while in knip
Chalky] If I may be so bold as to enquire of you fair maiden, whither this be the poste ye didst refer? whilst thou is here, try this Ye Game of ye Crescent Morningtown on Orange
MC
[rab, Inkspot] Yes 'twas the very thinge ... or Cockney Rhyming Slang MC ...
Newgame
Inkspot's right. My idea for a new game a couple of weeks ago was for a revival of "Ye Crescent Morningtowne" from a couple of years ago. Since then, I've had two other flashes of inspiration mundane ideas.
Idea 1: "Claim to Fame". First person posts a (possibly actual, possibly fictional) claim to fame (eg "My father once interviewed David Cassidy" (this is true)) and the next person tries to better it in some way. Needs refining.
Idea 2: Problem page: first person posts an unlikely-sounding "Dear Marge" problem and the next person provides some humourous advice.
Hey, I'm an ideas man; I leave it to the little people to work out the details!
popularity
Brendan] I suppose the example that springs to mind is The Italian Job which is a movie i vividlu recall watching when I was about ten years old, then when it came on TV again when I was about 17 I made sure to tape it. (this will be about 1988 ?) I always loved that movie - then recently (last 5 years) it became the epitome of Clerkenwell Cool, which I found irksome. What is annoying I think is that ten years ago I could have said to someone "watch this movie it is great". Now, it is no longer anything special, which is a shame
Funnily that reminds me that I watched Charade at the weekend - another film that I love that I had seen a long time ago - tjough one that has not gained the *cult* status of Italian Job. It wasn't quite as good as I remembered which was a little dissappointing - though still it is fabulous.
Bob] I am not sure if it is the hype and marketing. Maybe. Mayeb I am just a snob ? Its like holiday destinations. As soon as they become discovered my the MOB they lose their charm.
KIM] but can we ever do better than this :-PROBLEM PAGE - Ask a Navy Seal
LOTR
I enjoyed the film - although I can certainly see how a lot of people would find the first hour boring. I really feel that this is an excellent interpretation of the book(s) - the story is so extensive, it needed a huge film to do it justice. I don't get put off by something being popular - if I like, I don't care how popular it is, although its annoying when people assume you're jumping on a bandwagon because it happens to be fashionable.
Ye newe gayme
Crescente is certainly a possibility; personal problems were solved by Mrs Trellis a while ago on Orange. Meanwhile there's an idea going around at MCiOS at the moment that might be appropriate. Whatever, I'll open my slot. Please, someone, do fill it.
Second Thoughts MC
I'm sure I posted here about half an hour ago .. ah well. It was along the lines of .. why repeat games which have been played SO well [the Morningtowne link] and surely there's a limit to how much humour/wordplay you can squeeze out of a theme?
Has cockney slang been played recently?
Trappist games are fun.
[St d] Is Navy Seal a one trick pony?
oo-er missus!
[rab]fnarr fnarr!
Way-hey!
rabsnorgle] Gibber gibber!
Game for a ...
I want to play a game of Superghosts; I just don't think it would work.
I am Mr Chirpy-chops!
I was not put off by the popularity. I have never really liked that kind of fantasy stuff so I did not enjoy the books. Yes, I was conscripted to D&D clubs in my 6th form days - and I do enjoy some intelligent SF (Rendezvous with Rama, The Seventh Angel, Danny Darko), but hobbits never appealed. I enjoy some BIG Hollywood films as much as continental/independent/low-budget/arthouse ones – Central Station being a fave - so I was hoping for some rip-roaring SFX and a glorious ending. 'Fellowship' was OK, a bit laboured on the scenery and a half-hearted ending but enjoyable. 'Towers' was excellent. Full of humour and wonderful effects (although tree-beard was a bit 1970s Dr Who). Nah, the worst of the bunch was 'Return' - overacted, over produced and over here. The final scene was so laboured (filmed in perfume commercial-style soft-focus slo-mo) I was hard-pressed not to giggle. I was disappointed.
And another thing. I rented a film called Identity recently and enjoyed it. So can we have the "Seen any good movies?" game back?
Movies
Books = movies, as far as the 'recently' game at MCiOS is concerned.

If you see what I mean.

OK, I'll just stick a sock in it.

hoo hoo hee hee!
[rab]Ooh, dunno if that'll be enough to fill your slot, though!
50 ways to .... fill a slot
1] Put a sock in it. *chuckle*
I have unashamedly nicked Kevan's game idea [MCiOS chat] which rab referred to earlier. There seems to be some support for it.
*wonders how much inside knowledge snorgle has of my slot*

I take it these ways will be a bit ironical, like.

50 rhymes
... and we have to do the rhyming name bit aswell?
*mist clears*
[Chalky] Thanks, didn't get the reference you see!
[rab] I posted that last [above] as a suggestion and didn't realise you had already started the game off ... so Iwent ahead with the rhyme for No 2
Wot makes you think I'm a miserable basket?
And I was hoping for a Room 101 revival. Sundays! They should go into room 101, along with golf, the film 'Titanic', Paris, powerdressing, LotR, anything New-Age, fake leaded windows, wet cardboard, Bromsgrove, stew, BMWs, motorway service station gifts, nasal-hair, McDonalds, ties, self-assessment tax forms and diets. On the bright side, I have lost (nearly) 1 stone since I started.
Btd] If I was Paul Merton I'd give you all of those bar the first, fourth and sixth (though I might let "the excessive hype surrounding ..." in). But what's wrong with Sundays? Best day of the week, is Sunday (unless you're trying to travel by train, admittedly). Well done on your success with the diet.
golf
Golf is a great game. The problem with golf is the type of people who join golf clubs.
And on the seventh day...
Sundays. Epitomised by that huge expensive waste of time and money, Sunday papers. Like the day itself, they are full of nothing and go on forever. Retail therapy is out of the question as the only shops that open on Sundays (in my area) are the big chain-stores, and they, with no exceptions, are all contenders for room 101. Then there is that dull grey Sunday afternoon feeling when you desperately seek out something to take up your time that has nothing to do with the work you have to do for Monday morning.
In my childhood, Sundays were often spent at aunts houses, being fed over-rich cake and stewed tea from willow-pattern china to the dead-slow ticking of a Westminster chimes mantelpiece clock. Ah ha! Another contender for room 101, ceramic figurines. I remember having my hair brushed by my aunts. They did it so hard that great hand-fulls of hair would come out. They'd introduce my brother and I to their friends daughters in the hope of sparking childhood romances. When you are eight, that is scary.
When I was a student, Sundays were a little better. You can take a friend to bed for a whole day. But I'd usually do that on a Saturday and work or do my laundry or visit relatives on Sundays. In my first job I had to work on Sundays. As I did with my second and third. Now I'm self-employed and I should be working on Sundays. I (day of un) rest my case.
Well I think Sundays are sexy.
black sabbath
Sundays are cool so long as you've done all your work by then.
Sundays are the day for getting out in the weather, getting a lot of fresh air all in one go and having messy hair, because Sunday night is bath night! I tend to be scruffier on Sunday than a Saturday, which is a habit stretching back to when I was a kid, and used to cycle out to my grandparents in the country to spend the day helping my grandad with his horses. Am I the only kid who grew up in anoraks and wellies and never really lost the habit?
[Bob the dog] You mean, of course, the first day. Saturday's the seventh, which is why Saturday is the Sabbath.
pen] yes.
Sunday tactics
[Btd] The trick for dealing with Sundays is to get steaming drunk and stay up really late on Saturday night, and thus sleep through most of Sunday, and what you are conscious for, you'll be able to fill with pain, nausea and regret. And then running around washing clothes, pots, etc in preparation for the return to work on Monday.
Sundays are for doing all the work you didn't get to through the week.
No, Sundays are for sitting around feeling guilty that you're not doing all the work you didn't get to through the week.
Sundays are for feeling guilty that all the work you did do during the week merely goes to increasing human misery in the long run.
[Jenny] Are you an estate agent?
human misery
[penelope] Teacher, I bet Jenny's a teacher.
Allow me to act as medium for the following telepathic message...
Dear 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' mailing list member, If you are free on the evening of Sunday 29th February, live in the London area and are keen not to miss the final recording of the next series of Barry and Graeme's 'Hamish & Dougal - You'll Have Had Your Tea', you can get free tickets to the show from the BBC Ticket Unit. See details below. All the best (and apologies if you live too far away to come) Jon Naismith & Janet Staplehurst. GET YOUR FREE TICKETS to witness for yourselves the further exploits of Hamish & Dougal in the final recording of the second series of their hilarious Radio 4 comedy “You’ll Have Had Your Tea” starring Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden with Alison Steadman as their housekeeper Mrs Naughtie & Jeremy Hardy as the local Laird. Fans of their many appearances in Radio 4’s “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue”, will be thrilled to hear that Hamish and Dougal, those delightfully eccentric and frequently misunderstood Scotsmen, are to make a second series of their own radio vehicle. For a rollicking laughter-fest and more jokes than you can shake a stick at come to The Cochrane Theatre, Southampton Row, London WC1B 4AP (nearest tube: Holborn)on Sunday 29th February Doors open 7.15pm - Show starts 7.30pm To claim your free tickets – simply telephone the BBC Ticket Unit on 020 8576 1227 or email radio.ticket.unit@bbc.co.uk or apply online at www.bbc.co.uk/tickets
Woe! Whoa!
Not a teacher, I work in educational supplies. But I've rather lost faith in the education system recently.
A good dump
In my youth, having been a dumpee a few times, I speculated that it was much easier being on the dumping side, since you knew it was coming. When catapaulted into the opposite position, I realised that being dumped is, in fact, considerably simpler, since you didn't know it was coming.

Why do I mention this, you ask? Every so often I'm asked to review papers for academic journals, and until today I've never had cause to recommend a rejection... and for some reason I feel rather bad about doing so. But then, we can't be accused of falling standards now, can we?

rejection
[rab] It's what publishers have to do all the time, but still not pleasant to be in the judgement seat. Do you know, or are you likely to meet, this person?
It's not nice to be negative, but then you can't reward bad work, can you?
Or you could reject another - as two negatives make a positive!
Red-inked
[rab] You'll get over it. Consider it a necessary herd-thinning.
can we still be friends?
[rab] Count yourself lucky that the editors are sending you such good papers. In my field at least, rejection rates in the top journals run 90-95% or so. I certainly have to recommend rejection much more often than acceptance.
Nul points
[rab] It's positively a public service to see that rubbish doesn't reach print. In the past I've rejected several papers for triviality, several for technical slipshoddery, one for outright crackpottery, and one for unwittingly reproducing (but not as well) some of the results from a certain fundamental paper that hardly anyone has read but everyone cites (including the authors of the rejected paper). I assume your refereeing process is anonymous?
Too much empathy
Rab] It is not quite the same thing I know, but I dislike interviewing for the same reason. Up to ten people, probably five of which have high hopes for the job have put in a great deal of time and effort to make themselves presentable and revealed a great deal of personal information about themselves are then put on trial for one position. Nine have to be turned down or 'put on file'. I hate it.
Half empty or half full?
[Btd] Does it work to think instead of the benefit done to not only the successful candidate, but all the other employees of the company (university, etc.) by appointing the right one?
Personal Motivation
[Btd] My motivator was just that I would have to work with whoever was hired, and I didn't want to have to carry them. But then the last bit of intensive interviewing which I did was for a contractor position, so it was much less about the person and much more about the skills.
Stuffing
[CdM, Raak et al] I agree... The number of times I've read stuff that's been published thinking "How on earth did this get through?" means that, having been hit with something like that there is only one response. I would say more, but I fear any attempt at anonymity would go through the window.
Why?
I would be interested in the opinions of fellow posters - I have thought about this from time to time but I don't think that I have actually posted my opinion.  Why, when our User Names are posted in bold type do we insist on then using HTML tags to match the entry?  To me it really does make the entries rather hard to read.  This does not apply only to this site.  Why do we do this to ourselves?
Confused
[Dujon] I'm not quite sure that I understand your question - no, actually I am quite sure that I do no understand! What do you mean by "match"?

If you mean "Putting game moves in bold" then the answer is "to make an actual move stand out from any by play and commentary". That's about the only interpretation I can place on your query, but I'm still confused to be honest.

Ahhh (maybe -- maybe I've missed the point entirely)
[Dujon] Are you by chance referring to games like Advice, 10,000 Celerity CDs, the various poetry ones, etc. where practically the entire game is written in bold, as opposed to the MC games where having the moves picked out in bold is useful? Would you prefer to see more games take the style of, say, Auckland and 50 Ways, to take two recent examples?
Convention
[Dujon] I, too, am slightly unsure precisely what you are asking, but a bit of historical input might be called for. In the early days, there was basically no markup, but this caused a problem as if you simply made the comment "and I reckon we can reach Mornington Crescent in three from here" the game would end. So to prevent this problem, it was decided that the moves should be marked up so the server could work out the actual move made amongst the other text. This has the side-effect that moves are also more obvious to the observer. In non-MC games, early posters seem to set the convention for that game. There seems a general trend towards those games where commentry is inappropriate to be played unemphatically (e.g. Auckland). All this is self-organising however. As to displaying the player name in bold, well, I think it just looks better, and allows you to see more clearly where moves start and end - this is most useful in these chat games. I have a vague recollection that York (at least in its early days) didn't mark up the player name.
interviews
I know of someone who apparently used to just take about half the CVs received for consideration and chuck them in the bin, saying "I really don't want to give this job to an unlucky person". Harsh, but amusing.
markup
(cross posted from MCiOS, after spotting that you wanted us to reply here) [Dujon] There is quite often a legit reason for doing this. Sometimes you want to separate your move from your commentary about your move (as in MC games themselves), so you'd tend only to embolden your actual chosen move, and then refer to other stations which are relevant in italics. If you look at the York archives, you'll see this is a practice that grew up over time. The same thing happened with limericks, to enable the submitted line to be distinct from comments (and heaven knows that's always helpful with some of the scansion round 'ere). It's become useful in other context to the extent that it's now hard-wired in the system to a certain extent, with Dan's advice-o-matic looking for material only that's marked up with b tags. So there's a sort of logic at work there. I suppose we could use i tags instead, but I tend to find italic text just that little bit more fiddly to read on screen.
Yes
I was referring to the readability of various games. Particularly those where a bold user name is immediately followed by a bold post (which was what I meant - although poorly expressed - by 'matching'.) Given the explanations given by the site owners I now understand that there is a reason for this particular method of operation. I shall now shut up.
* Please ignore the second 'given' *
*ignores*
Hadn't even noticed it!
Well, my damning report is written... just ensuring the English is authentically bad so my tracks are covered.
Don't publish and be damnned
rab] You are not un-spellchecking the academic journal you have rejected are you? ;o)
Tnny
[Chalky] Ml rcvd, rpns snt. If it doesn't get through this time then perhaps my mail server doesn't like talking to yours.
just two things ....
[rab] Your mail server likes my inbox :-)

... and [Bob] Is the ISIHaC weekend in May still a runner?

Well..
Chalky] Well I hope so. MF sent me some fabulous scripts and there was a great deal of interest initially. I've never been on a pilg and I didn't realised until reading through the posts on Orange that they can be like mini ISIHACs but far less 'organised'. I began to feel like I was being too prescriptive about the whole thing.

The other problem was finding reasonable low-cost accommodation for those staying over. The hotel I first chose quoted £35 per night, but then told me that was per person without breakfast. A twin room with breakfast was priced at £75. Then I tried a pub called 'England’s Rose', 'cos it had real ale, was in a nice location and had lots of rooms and camping space. But when I visited it, it was a full on Princess Diana theme pub and every time I asked how many rooms and what the pricing was I got a different reply. So it was back to the drawing board and now I'm (fortunately) very busy. Fortunately because I've just gone self-employed. I have wondered about a youth hostel - very basic (bring your own sheets/sleeping bag) but very cheap and lots of fun. Any takers?
I'd be happy to stay in a youth hostel. If it's one of those where people share dormitories, though, I'm afraid I have to warn people in advance that I snore...
youth hostels
Keep in mind - they tend to have curfews - and from personal experience, other hostellers can get very grumpy if you're just 5 minutes late finishing off a shower and getting into bed after lights out.
Middle-aged hostels
Some hostels are party bookable. I'm looking into that. As for shared rooms, I've never been to one that had private rooms, but that can be part of the fun, snorin' and all. Otherwise - its ears to the ground trying to find a reasonable hotel. Has anyone had any experience of conference or group booking?
me
[Bob] So we're looking for an inn, preferably, with a large enough meeting/conference room and bed & breakfast at a reasonable price [say £30]. West Midlands? Which Saturday did you decide on? How many approx? I ask all this because ... I'm doing a freelance job at the mo which enables access to this very information; also at home I have 24 hour internet plus free UK phone calls. I can't promise anything, but I'll have a scout around.
Chalky the star
Chalky] WMids, cos it is central and we may have folks from Manchester and London - so Motorway access would be good. Saturday 29th May, Approx 15 (but good chance of more). Function room not essential if there is a decent pub nearby that has a spare room. Piano would be nice but not essential 'cos I may be able to borrow an electric one. If you do find something, I can visit to check it out, unless you live in the WMids too!
hurtle
Oh, a hotel every time for me. Getting too old for Youth Hostel larks. Still if there's a YH and hotel/B&B in reasonable proximity I guess there's no reason for people not to have a choice.
prescription charge
[Btd] I don't think you're being too prescriptive. I think it'd be nice to try something a bit more organised than usual, and the regular pilgs continue for those who prefer their fun more improvisatory.
Pro Joy
:o)
a splash of cold water
[Bob, PJ] I'm in South Wiltshire, not so far away and yes - I'm all for hotel accommodation, provided it's cheap and clean. However, it is already evident from certain inquiries I've made, that, being a Bank Holiday weekend, we may be more restricted in our choices. Also, for those that need to travel some distance ... it's a popular 'getting away from it all' weekend = traffic chaos. Just a thought.
It comes of having an electronic organiser rather than a paper diary...
Oh gershplatz, I hadn't realised it was a Bank Holiday. I think bank hol weekends are best avoided so rethink time. Check for dates June 5th, 12th and May 22nd then. Please.
dates
OK - June 5th is the last Saturday of school half term [although this varies from county to county] so that may affect things slightly. To start the ball rolling - I'm up for May 22nd.
directory enquiries
... sorry for multiposting - but can anyone recommend a decent directory enquiry number? I've a long list of possible venues but no telephone numbers and I feel it's better to ring up and establish a basis for negotiation, before checking them out.
Yes
Try the phone co-ops 118 114. It is cheap, quick and reliable.
Phone numbers
I preferred 118118, because I rather liked their ads and their chief executive, when interviewed on TV, seemed a lot more straightforward and fair than his opposite number at 118888. However, I've found 118888 to be far more reliable when it comes to actually finding numbers.
DQ
[Chalky] Can't you find these numbers free-of-charge on the web? Sometimes typing the name of the venue (quoted) into Google comes up trumps. Then there's the BT, Yellow Pages and Thomson Local Directories too...
PS
I've just watched a video of atoms bouncing up and down on videotape. I wanted to ask the Prof why he's stuck in the 1980's and doesn't use DVD instead :)
The MC un-convention
I was about to suggest the Hotel Portmeirion, but have just checked the prices and am still shaking and sweating.
transport of delight
Is there something to be said for having the affair somewhere within reach of public transport, as for those of us who don't drive, taxis can really add a bit of a premium. Possibly (and aptly) on a branch line someplace?
numbers and possibilities
Thanks all - and yes, rab, I did just that.
OK - already there's a possibility - Brownsover Hall, Rugby [where the M1 & M6 meet] which is a gothic mansion! Nice people. They can accommodate us on May 15 or May 29 [unfortunately they have a very large wedding on May 22] for a group rate of £35 per head which includes full English breakfast. Also a bonus - NO single room supplements for those that would rather snore privately. There's a choice of two private rooms we can use as well, both near the bar [Boddingtons, Flowers - dunno if they're crap beers or not]. There IS a smallish wedding on the 15th, so we shouldn't be too conspicuous by our jollity. No deposit needed - just a written confirmation from me.
Cor, sounds great. I'm in for any of those dates.
Non fat cat
Bread] I prefer the phone co-op because it is owned and controlled by its customers. I've had more problems with both 118118 and 188888 than 118 114, and it is cheaper than both.
directions and a pic
Hope I've got this right.
[PJ] It's 2 miles from the station - I'm sure someone will pick you up :-)
Location location location
[Chalky] Looks like a good venue, eminently walkable from the station (so Projoy won't have to splash out on taxis). Transport links look good to.
Brownsover
Chalky] That was my first choice! Are you good at price negotiation? They did not include breakfast when I asked. I agree, it is a great potential venue.
taxisplash
[rab] How dare you. I've never splashed out in a taxi! That's just a rumour!
[Btd] I thought the name sounded familiar, but couldn't put my finger on it.
smiling
Well I've got to disappear for a while. Can everyone who is interested confirm which of the two dates - 15th or Busy Bank Holiday 29th? .. and [Bob] you have a list of potential players, yes? Just need to know how many singles and how many doubles to book, if we eventually decide on the venue. Blimey - I've turned into a right bossy boots ...
I can do either date. So there! :)
Dateline
Me too, I think. [Thos] Look at you!
As far as I'm aware, either date is good for me as well. Hurrah! Where's MCiOS gone (*me goes to look on orange*)?
(Oh, it's back now. Odd)
Serendipity
I actually couldn't do the 22nd anyway - I'm off seeing Bill Bailey that night. Whee!
Interest
The list so far is:
Chalky (!)-
Lib* -
Boolbar* - (possibly - he has not yet responded to my email - his work is monitoring internet use)
Merlyn
Projoy* - One of the 'Humphs'
I’m not John* -
LotUS* -
Herr Bratche* -
Blamelewis* (Recording the event)–
Martha Farqua* (? - recommended as a 'Humph' has already written a wonderful script.)-
Unkle Korky* -
Nik -
JLE - (Piano)
Thos -
ZK (Possibly now the date has changed)
st dog* (Unlikely, but I think it would be good if he agreed to be one of the 'Humphs'.)
* I have their email address. If you are interested and not listed, mailme. ISP and Dunx have agreed to contibute towards scripts.
ever lengthening list
and rab? and you, Bob?
*slight panic* and more girls please? pen? and the snorg?
[Chalky] I'm a girl. I'll check out the dates.(Angus...not a word now) What exactly's involved at such a gathering? My wit is a much-deliberated thing, it's not quite as spontaneous among strangers...*example* ZK opens mouth: blather bleeble eep...fnar...
[ZK] Part of the point of this gathering is that the opportunities for wit are more deliberative, since players will have some idea of the games ahead of time.
super-plig
Unfortunatly as yet I can't commit either weekend. At the moment both are free, but I have my brother's fiancee's hen night to factor in (and work). Am trying to get a date decided for the hen night, but am between the rock and hard place till then.
Question also - what kind of age is everyone else? without wanting to be too personal about it all. you can answer within the 10-year bracket of course (20s, 50s....)
Yes - ZK, I knew you were a girl :-)
I'm also pretty dumbstruck when faced with new people and situations, but then I'm only 16.
Well I haven't had a holiday in years, and would love to come meet you all and have you laugh at my accent. It isn't hugely likely, but there's a possibility - more for the 29th than the 15th I think - although I do seem to recall Britain being even more expensive than most places.
[Chalky] Are you being sarcastic? I never can tell.
Wait!
They let 16 year-olds drink that much brandy?
[Toby] ... particularly with the exchange rate as it is. Can't say I'm looking forward to the phenomenal cost as and when I get back to Blighty. Not that I know when that might be, of course.
Numbers - format
Ooops, yes and rab and me. Lib - I do hope you can come! Pen wrote to me to say she will probably be at race meetings throughout May.

Going back to format (ZK + all) - ISIHAC in real life is semi-scripted. The game introductions are scripted and players are warned weeks beforehand of the games they are to play. So - if I there is to be a game of 'late arrivals at the proctologists ball' players are warned in advance and have time to put down some amusing answers to read out.
[chalky] Teachers are getting younger and younger, aren't they? Personally I'm about 65, at least on the inside.
Yes
I'm a yes.
why use one word when a hundred will do ...
[ZK] Sorry, sarcasm or irony doesn't really transfer onto the screen. Although I'm fairly confident with strangers in my areas of expertise [!], meeting in a social context is a different matter, so yes, I tend to blush and stammer. I've never quite grown out of it. Regarding age, I'm relatively new to the Crescent, so can only assume that most of the regulars here are between the ages of 23 and 45, with the hardcore 'originals' in their thirties. But having said that, I know that Rosie and Duj and possibly Software, are older. Conversely, quite a few undergraduates post in here. Perhaps someone who has been around for more than 5 years can correct me on that? As Breadmaster indicated, the wrapping is meaningless - it's what's inside that links us together.
ZK] You can be The Lovely Samantha. That does not require any wit, though if a player is late you may have to sit on his seat until he comes.
Ages
I'm 27, and have been playing MC over the net for about seven years now.
Humphing
[st d] You are the scriptwriter for Humphrey Lyttleton and I claim my £5.
[ZK] I'm in my late thirties, which excludes me from auditioning for the role of Samantha. :o(
Oldtimer
I discovered online MC shortly after I discovered the world wide wait web in 1995. At the time I got the impression that most people, like me, were students having (a) a lot of time on their hands and (b) unfettered access to the Internet (this was before yer average Joe had a modem, for example). The fact that the York usage stats dropped dramatically between June and September would bear this out. Nevertheless, I'm a mere 28! (Or is it 29, I've no idea).
No need to audition
I'm exactly the same age as Pen. Regarding Samantha, I have secured a guest appearance by the real Samantha, and the real Sven. Anyone who has been to a recording of ISIHAC will know just how exciting that is!
Either date should be fine with me as well. [ZK] I'm 23, having played on and off over the last 3-4 years. [BtD] Fantastic!
busying myself
[Bob] As you seem to have enough on your hands organising the artistic content of the event, are you happy for me pursue the venue booking, administration etc? Also, have we actually agreed on a date? Although the 15th May seems to be popular, I could make some enquiries about the 12th June?
The Lovely Samantha
But Bob, when i spoke to the real Samantha she told me that she was doing a charity bungee jump in Trafalgar Square that weekend. She apologised and said that she would think about us playing with ourselves whilst she was bouncing up and down on Nelson's column.
[st d] outrageous!
Age before beuaty
I'm 42, have been playing (mainly MCiOS) for 5-6 years, and listening to ISIHAC for 25! Hope to be there, family commitments permitting etc etc etc
Vital Statistics
I'm 34 at the end of the month, same day as Elizabeth Taylor and Brian Cant. They're both coming over.
Lovely indeed
st d] Ah, yes, but that was before the reprehensible outbreak of vandalism in the city that has led to Nelson being defaced. Samantha has kindly offered to help with restoration, including giving Nelson a bit of head. Sadly, despite her best efforts, Nelson will not be fully erect in time for her jump off, so she will be available to come to Rugby for a bit.
Samantha and Rugby
Having watched her perform, sheis truly a mistress of the hands-on approach, her ball play is awesome and she can catch a fly-half between her teeth like nobody's business. We could learn a lot from her.
PS
'That's Entertainment' has just started on BBC2. 140 Hollywood minutes of pure joy [I'll never get anything done now].
X-Post announcement
LAYDEEZUNGEMMUN - I refer you all to this page for details of a forthcoming concert - see the "Russian Giants" entry for details. We'll also be repeating the performance in the 29th in Shrewsbury Abbey. For ticket details see here. Thank you for your attention.
That IS entertainment!
Is that the thing hosted by Gene and Fred, or am I imagining it?
concerts
Well, that should be fairly easy for me to get to, I'm at the university. Where is this hall you speak of?
typical
would you believe that's the weekend of going-homeage?
Youth and experience
[Chalky] Either you're lying about your age (given your posting about Samantha), or teenage magazines are now to be found on the top shelf!
[HB] I was a child bride ;-]
re. BPO - you must be listed in the Current Players List - what instrument do you play?
Instrumentally
Bratsche (Ger.) = Viola (Eng.) I'm the one at the top of the list. Are you local?
I remember fondly the days when she used to invite me and Steve Irwin to her private estate in back-country Australia. How she used to enjoy having me deep in her bush as we both watched Steve playing with his snake.
Ooh my friend plays the viola!
translocation
[HB]You're principal viola then? Oh I say. I'm about a hundred miles south, but I occasionally work in Brum and have friends there.
violas
ZK] Maybe Herr Bratsche is your friend ? Had you considered that ? How spooky would that be ? I am a 94 year old woman.
[st d] Well, I had my suspicions...
ZK] that I was 94 ?
Yes.
Uninteresting tidbit
I have a very good friend who is a viola player. For years she did quite literally nothing else, but now she diversifies by also playing jazz double bass, which I consider to be a step in the right direction.
Did you hear about the gangster string quartet? They were charged with extracting money with violins.
[ZK] I think I'll be 27 by the time of the Pilg (based on a gnawing suspicion that I'm 26 at the moment).
Should Lib end up being unavailable (and public transport ends up being undesirable), I'd be happy enough to drive Northern types down. My car fits 4 passengers, in theory, and I have no reason to doubt it. As for playing a part, I think I'm best suited to propping up the bar and providing a laugh-track. And some vulgarity, if you're all unlucky.
[rab] The parser is getting HTML wrong, if I'm not mistaken - or is it deliberately replacing < with &lt;?
DeHTMLification
Aha! It's the preview, it seems.
celebdaq
[DrQu+xum]Who on earth do you own?? Here am I sitting raking in a veritable tabloid pittance....
Viola players
(Breadmaster) There is a cruel joke amongst muso's thus: "What do you call a viola player with Grade V1". "Gifted".
ah, viola jokes
What's the difference between a trampoline and a viola? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
there's more!
A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.
Ha ha ha ha ha
[ZK] If you want the full set, see here. Also has links to jokes about other musicians.
DeHTMLification confusion
[Nik] Do I take your second post as a kind of "everything's ok" or is there some "feature" I should investigate?
Old and wise?
[Thos] 34 on the 29th february? So, that'll make you 136 in real terms! Well done old man for hiding your age so well!
[ZK] There's a few viola players hiding around the crescent. I one of the very ametuer ones.
Young and foolish
And at times I'm also very ametuer at spelling and English. *blushes and hides cos of stupidity*
Middle fiddles
[Lib] If you apply sufficient pressure to JLE's gonads he will also confess ...
Shrewsbury
[HB] I knew there was a few of us! We will take over the world. Can I ask why Shrewsbury for the second concert. Its a lovely place but doesn't often get good concerts. (Its my home town, and according to my driving lisence I still live there!). Personally I think St Mary's church is a better concert venue, but the Abbey is lovely too. I will encourage my mum to go and watch you.
Shrewsbury Abbey
[Lib] Why? Why not! As for the venue, many moons ago we used to do a concert anually in the Music Hall. However, audiences were never good, and the management became less and less helpful, so we stopped going, and were never there for aout 10 years. However, venues come and venues go, and we found ourselves with a gap in the schedule, so approached a number of places, and Shrewsbury Abbey was (a) the right sort of size, and (b) had a helpful attitude. We went there for the first time last year, and got a respectable crowd, so will try again this year.
viola jokes
[HB] Where did you think I got them from? :)
The 'daq
[ZK] I bought a ton of Jordan well before IACGMOOH2 (Can you say £10+/share dividends for three weeks straight?) and picked up a ton of Janet Jackson the moment her tit hit the screen.
master of the boobiverse
ah...clever plan. i think I just didn't own enough Jordan...although she did pick me up a nice little dividend this week.
Natal Days
[Lib] Actually, my birthday is 27th of Feb. However, I am 136 as you state.
Caesar salad, anyone?
[Lib] Thanks to misreading, I now have a wonderful image in my head of you hiding the cos of stupidity. Is this for when you have no lettuce after your name?
Limericks
I'm not one to complain usually, but frankly the scanning of the lines in the Limericks game has really dropped off recently. I know others have mentioned it there, but some people seem to be revelling in some truly poor versifying (and in one or two cases actually doing so deliberately, I rather think). I'm offering no solution but I must say when I see a bad line being posted, I don't want to play.
[Chalky] I originally misread your comment: 'That's Entertainment' has just started on BBC2. 140 Hollywood minutes of pure joy as "140 minutes of Projoy".
Just getting it off my chest
I hate auditions. I'm terrible at auditions. I've just been cast as a dancer in Much Ado About Nothing because they couldn't be bothered to find me a part. How am I meant to get any other parts on the merit of this performance? I can't dance! A day for rejection, obviously...hmph. Casting directors really get on my tits, and believe me, that's quite a complaint....thankyou for you time.
140 of Projoy
submit it to Channel 4! You'll make a fortune! :)
140 Minutes of Projoy?
[Thos] I don't think BBC2 and the bulk of the British populace is ready for that. ;)
Slimericks
[Thos] We could close the limericks game, I guess.
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I love limericks! can't we just ignore the bad lines and carry on? I think maybe we could impose a new rule that if you have more than one line you want to play you can, cos sometimes I have the perfect pair and can't use them. Please please please keep the limerick game! I'll be good!
DeHTMLification
[rab] The preview appears to translate < and > to &lt; and &gt;, therefore breaking HTML tags thereafter posted. Eg <br> becomes &lt;br&gt; in the preview, and hides completely in a posting after that. If that makes sense. Sorry, I've been in the pub since 1pm, since I was accredited by Microsoft in C# Windows development, and the situation isn't improving now I've reached home.
DeHTMLification
...except it's not doing it now. Bugger.
limerickety
It does appear to have been hijacked, rather.
Nothing simpler...
140 minutes of Projoy (as played by Peter Miles).
Arf
[PJ] That blows, Gabriel! Blows! [Rab] I would never advocate closing a limerick game, unless we opened another. But certainly it's a bit much at the moment...
And the third thing is..
Two things. First of all if a game is to close, how about Missive Trellis. Its been good but has slowed down considerably...

Secondly, Chalky - YES - I'll happily still co-ordinate the script writing and stuff if you can take on the organising of the hotel accommodation I'd be really grateful - email me (at the above link) and I'll send you the email contact details I have so that you can confirm numbers and make bookings. *Thanks*

Thirdly, I have to mention this. I've just watched a film on DVD called 'Belleville Rendezvous'. God it was wonderful. Please go out and rent it now - or better still buy it. st d if you are reading this - you'd love this film.
Bellvillious
Chalks, darling, it was on TV on Xmas Day, and was the best bit of TV over the whole holiday. Ruddy marvellous, eh?
if you have a few mins to spare or your bored!!
Have a listen to my solo effort at http://cornerband.com/html/bandPage/bandPage.asp?band_id=1035276 and have a very funky day................
Ein Test
[Nik] I can't reproduce what you describe so this must be a browser thing or perhaps some bizaree HTTP anomoly.

[Bob] Saw Belleville at the cinema, would have enjoyed it more had it not been missold. Maybe I should see it again sometime.

[All] Improve yer limericks, or the grim reaper will reap his rewards.

I've been drinking, does it show?

I'm currently planning on meeting the current celebration by going to Rockworld some time after I wake up today. Should anyone in the Manchester area fancy meeting up for a pint, my mobile number is 0776 26 141 70, or so my phone would have me believe.
[rab] I can't reproduce it either, but then I've no idea how I produced it in the first place. It will probably have to go down as One Of Those Things.
Rockworld
[Nik] I'll engage in a consultation exercise before I commit myself, but I'm definitely interested.
Shrewsbury in the Spring
[Lib and others] I must have been having a brainstorm - the BPO is playing Shrewsbury in April, not February, and our second performance of the "Leningrad" symphony is in Leominster Priory Church, Herefordshire. I've turned up to concerts without my DJ before, but I've never turned up to the wrong church ...
Gigs
(Herr Bratsche) BPO, eh? I'm impressed. No, seriously. But no need for DJ's when you play jazz - just the Big Band T-shirt and the right reading glasses (at my age anyway). My band, Force Ten, is at the Mick Jagger Centre in Dartford on Wed 10 March. A mixture and jazz and swing, some of it quite contemporary and funky. (rab) I'm with you on the limerick-improvement thing; some of them have been totally chaotic, but how do you propose to implement the death threat? :-)
... catching up
[Bob] I'll mail you sometime over the weekend :-)
[PJ] Joyous stuff indeed - was that the birth of your moniker?
[Thos (fellow Piscean) and limerick fans] Subtle and not-so-subtle hints regarding the metre seem to have little impact - pity, because the ideas are amusing and original. I, too, would hate to admit defeat by recommending closure.
[pen] That sure was Entertainment. MGM ruled. Have fun today ;-)
[rab] It didn't show. The drinking.

Thought for St Valentine's Day:
'If we let romance go,
We change a sky for a ceiling.'

Joy unbounded
[Chalky] Projoy appears to be the author (under his real name), and is playing Gabriel!
Projoyful
[HB] He's a particularly talented fellow. [Chalky] I think we'll just have to wait for the dry spell to end! :)
Monica
[Chalky] Yes, indeed. I wrote the script first, then, on discovering YorkMC a few weeks later, redeployed the name. Too good a name to waste on just one outing, I thought. :)
Ace
Projoy] Why is Sylvester called 'the Professor'? Is it a non-BBC spin-off copyright branding issue?
Ah - forgive me, I didn't do my homework and read the rest of the site. Excellent interview Projoy, I agree about Barbie.
Package
[Bob] Did you get yer package?
Bugs the bunny
rab] Yes thank you! I've emailed to say thanks - but I'd also like to thank Dr Q. I have just reached into my grab-bag of superlatives and find I have run out. You are both extremely kind, and I hope to repay you some day.
What's Opera Doc?
Oh my giddy aunt! Tears of mirth!
Die Tüns
Don't you think What's Opera, Doc? should have won an Academy Award? The producer at the time (Eddie Selzer) didn't have it considered. That and Hare-Way To The Stars were considered two of the best cartoons ever (both Chuck Jones-Maurice Noble-Mike Maltese creations.)
Hare Wagner
I thought Opera did win an award - but perhaps not an Academy award.
Whaddya expect in an opera?
[Btd] It was #1 on the 50 Greatest Cartoons of All Time.
A happy ending?
Deservedly.
Greatest cartoons
Opera is wonderful and so is Rabbit of Seville... but for me, nothing will ever beat One Froggy Evening.
belleville
BtD] I saw the last 15 minutes of it at Xmas and loved the animation. Will catch teh whole thing one day I am sure. I like your "st d if you are reading this" it made me feel like a hostage or a missing person :o)
I have just spent the best few days. We had our annual awards on Thursday, presented by Jack Dee who was very funny indeed ("this is the first time in a long time that my audience has had more money than I do" - our main sponsor was BENTLEY - they had their new CONTINENTAL GT on show, and sold THREE !!!! (£120K) - anyway - that was a 6am night, then was in gay paris for a 30th on Saturday which turned out to be possibly the best party I have ever been to. Full of lovely people all wearing something pink. What a great idea - the whole party co-ordinated. Photo heaven. ;o)
There you go. Pretty dull stuff to read about I guess, but I am happy today and thougt I wold share it (its such a rare thing).
sequiturs
(i guess that segued nicely from the "froggy evening" post)
Cartoons
I see number 37 is Bimbo's Initiation.
Nouveau Nyder
Peter Miles, eh? Camp old devil! And what a syrup!
[UK] Are you talking about Peter Miles pretending to be Projoy or Projoy pretending to be Peter Miles? :)
The 'daq
Did the do divvies early this week? I came in this morning and saw I had £55,000 free....
cheque is in the post
DrQu+xum]You were No1 on the League last Friday, I just need to upload the full results tonight. Its a very unusual top three!
My God.
Am I still here?
Are you having an existential crisis of some kind?
More divis
And finally we have confrmation of DrQu+xum at No1 on the daq without even trying!!!!
rab's 'moment'
*instantly assuming Aunty Chalky mode*
rabby rabbykins - you are! still here! and jolly glad we are about that!
er ... is that better now?
The 'Daq
[Inkspot] *thwap* I've only got 1/5 of my portfolio in the Jorda^H^H^H^H^HKatie Price Dividend Machine; the rest gets shuffled constantly.
breaking news
OK, here's an update on the dating front (as all those in the chatroom on Monday seemed so interested). The Valentine's Date with the mystery Frenchman was great fun and very enjoyable, although a rip-off at £30 per head for a meal that should have been more like £17 or £18. Last night he came round to help me put together a flat-pack desk from IKEA (2 minutes 37 seconds) and we drank too much wine. A word of advice here; don't ever ask a Frenchman for a quick demonstration of what makes them so good at French kissing, even in jest.
Hereness
[Breadmaster, Chalky] It was more a reference to my being at work until nearly 9pm last night.... (which was mostly my fault). Of course, cos the posting times aren't displayed on the page (yet) you can't know this :)

[pen] Well done.

french kissing
It wasn't really in jest, though, was it? You say "Oh, so, what's so great about the way you French kiss?" really means "Snog me till I can't breathe, you french love god!" Go on, be honest!
Wily Frenchmen
[pen] But did he steal your kidney? It's a Weebl & Bob reference.
I said kiddley, diddle I?
[rab] I was pretty impressed too. Despite my surprise at how quickly it went up, it's was as solid as a rock!
[DrQ] Not that I'm aware of...
[snorgle] my lips are sealed!!
reluctant medium (and unwitting cross-poster)
I'm getting a message from the other side...Advance details of the recording dates in the Spring Series of the programme. Tickets can be obtained only by telephoning the relevant theatre's box office: Sunday 18th April - The Orchard Theatre, Dartford Ticket prices: £9.50, £7.50, £5.50 Box Office tel: 01322 220000. Doors open: 7pm Shows starts: 7.30pm Shows finish: Approx. 10.30pm (TICKETS NOW ON SALE)
Sunday 2nd May - The Grand Opera House, Belfast Ticket prices: £8.50, £7.50, £6.50, £5.00 and 20 box seats at £11 Box Office tel: 028 9024 1919 Doors open: 7pm Shows starts: 7.30pm Shows finish: Approx. 10.30pm (TICKETS NOW ON SALE)
Thursday 27th May - The Lowry Centre, Salford, Ticket prices: £8.50, £5.50 Box Office tel: 0161 876 2000 or 0870 111 2000. Doors open: 7pm Shows starts: 7.30pm Shows finish: Approx. 10.30pm (TICKETS WILL GO ON SALE FROM MONDAY 23 FEBRUARY)
N.B. These are the only recording dates - the next series will be Autumn 2004 and has yet to be arranged
Is this for...
ISIHAC?
mediocrity
[rab] oh, the ball couded over before I could see for sure, but there was an attractive blonde with an electronic score card, and a sharpei dog as chairman.
Hello you
[pen] Right. Well, I'll probably try and get some tickets for the Lowry show (if I remember to call on Monday). Anyone else interested? (In fact, won't that be around the time of the Bobpilg?)
ISIHAC real or otherwise
[rab] Subject to confirmation, ISIHACThemeNightRugby is happening on the 15th May. More news to follow :-)
15 May
(diaries it)
ISIHAC Theme Night
CROSS-POSTING
[rab, Projoy, Thos, JLE, Nik, Lib, Boolbar, Merlyn, I'm not John, LotUS, Herr Bratsche, blamelewis, Martha Farquar, Uncle Korky, ZK, st dogmael] plus all interested parties:
Just to confirm that I am assisting Bob the dog with accommodation arrangements for the ISIHACPilg. A provisional block booking for twin rooms has been made at Brownsover Hall, Rugby for Saturday 15 May at the rate of £35 per head to include full English breakfast. As Bob is close to the venue, he will be checking out the size of the private function room, after which we can firm up on numbers, etc. I have email addresses of all except JLE, Thos, ZK & Nik. I will use my hotmail address exclusively for co-ordinating these arrangements, so just begin with kedavenport@ if you wish to confirm, deny, join in, etc. Needless to say [but I'll say it anyway] Bob the dog will continue to co-ordinate the Artistic & Creative Content of the event.
Knees-up
Excellent news, Chalks. I'll pencil it in me diary immediately!
the Artistic & Creative Content
Ooooh Daahling! You make me feel so Artistic & Creative!
Err...
Mini Cheddars has been hijacked. I think someone's trying to spoil our fun - especially mine....
Bob the Amazing Artistic & Creative dog & Kim the gaylord
[Bobluvvie] Yeah - because I was cross-posting [whilst in a very non-cross mood] it seemed best to reassure the Establishmentors [who probably haven't the foggiest who I am] that as a relative newcomer, I wasn't attempting to influence that side of the event.

[Kim] I didn't believe a word of it .... :-)

Att'n flerdle
If you are still about, flerdle, what's the weather doing to you 'up there'?
It's just after midday here and sitting on 40°C (104°F to you plebs!) Dry as a bone - humidity around the 10 to 12% mark. I note that DrQ and Pittsburgh are enjoying around 8 to 10°C - perhaps all our Nth American friends can go outside and blow south westwards?
Weather
Latrobe reported 15 today. That'll change in a hurry -- it'll be back to a maximum 0 by Sunday. Snow returns, just as that f**king groundhog said. :)
toasty
Hey Dujon, am still in Bris. It's currently at least 40°C with about 40% humidity. According to a table I can't find the reference for, this feels similar to about 50°C at your humidity level. Add 8°C if you're in the sun. I'm not.
Fantastic!
Just happy to know that I'm not the only one, flerdle! My temp has reduced and the humidity increased ... another horrible night ahead I think. (sorry, nights.)
[Dr Q} Groundhog, groundhog... where do I remember that from?
*melts*
Yeah, if it doesn't cool off at night time, it's not much fun -- we've had 26-27°C minimum for most of the week.
*shivers*
flerdle/Dujon] We had frost last night. I'll email you some as an attachment.
mmmmm ice
[BtD] I'd like that; today was warmer.
Thermal excess
(flerdle) Don't know how you stand it. I record weather (accurately, I used to be in the Met Office, now an amateur) and highest I've had in 21 yrs (and probably a lot more) here on the southern edge of London is 35.9°C on 10th Aug last. The minima at the time were typically 18°C. That was quite enough, for I are rather a sweaty little bugger.
On heat
[flerdle, Rosie] After my big whinge the other day we finished up with a reasonable temperature by late afternoon, but the humidity (naturally) went up accordingly, so it was an uncomfortable night. Sunday was reasonable temperature wise and the humidity - it actually rained late afternoon and most of the night - therefore quite acceptable. I did however see reports on the news about the continuing heat in the Brisbane area so, flerdle, you have my sympathy. It really must have been quite severe as the report was mainly about the elderly and the young having problems and the incidence of ambulance/hospital attendances.
hotted up
Yes, I heard (unverified) that at least four people died - I think they would have all been elderly or sick. Reports are that the heat is over, and we'll be down under 30 soon.
But, by then I will hopefully be in another country. Unfortunately, it is even worse there. Sources say that it doesn't get much worse than this, there, except the few weeks in the middle of summer when it gets into the high 40s. With high humidity, of course.

Great.

[Rosie] For Australian weather, you might be interested in the Bureau's site: www.bom.gov.au. I've been following this handy page there; for data from the last three days click on the appropriate weather station. It samples approx 10 minutely, but maxima or minima are sometimes between those times, such as yesterday's 41.7°C at a bit before 2pm.

The other extreme.
Latrobe, Pennsylvania (at Arnold Palmer Airport) currently reports -5 with broken clouds.
MINUS FIVE !
jeeeez - that's colder than Antarctica.
[DrQ] Ah, but that's American. Are they using some weird temperature scale that only Americans understand?
[Bm] Are you suggesting that Gdansk was under American occupation during the 18th Century?
[Bm] It could be Fahrenheit, which seems to be ubiquitous in the USA apart from within scientific communities. IIRC, -5F is pretty damn cold, that is (does a quick calculation) -20.5 recurring. Brrrrrrr.
[st d] It's late summer in Antarctica.
rising temperature
Funny thing, this differing scales of temperature malarkey. Last night, in the quiz - one of the questions was "At what temperature do both Centigrade and Fahrenheit read the same?" Could I get my head around that? Could I b*ggery.

Gusset - I'm SO pleased you like my name for you. I'm equally gratified that you haven't transposed the two words :-)

Temper, temper.
I meant -5 C, but it did hit -4 F last month....now that was Too Damn Cold™.

[Chalky] -40.
E-pilg?
It's Monday night and the e-pilg transcriber's awake! :)
cold
I know I have mentioned this before on one of these sites, but I was in Finland just over a year ago, and the first ten minutes of the Finnish evening news was all about how cold it was. They were interviewing people from Siberia who were complaining about the cold. I remember calculating at the time that we were down in the range where it didn't make much difference whether we were talking F or C. (It was down to at least -31C.)
Imperialist swine
[rab] Indeed I am, sir! I wouldn't put anything past them!
double guset
Nice one in the 50 Ways, Guest Login! Should've been fiftieth, that one. Any ideas for the next lot?
Straw Poll
Ladies and gentlemen... just to conduct a straw poll, if the top-left-hand corner of this page doesn't look (roughly) like this:

Could you inform. Obliged.

poll
Well, mine looks like that little mc5 symbol in a white square on a grey background.
I came, I looked
rab]Running IE6 I see the logo is on white background.
MC5 - Whoops!
Not on my IE or Firbird browsers, rab. I confirm Inkspot's comment regarding the IE6 background.
Bum
There's so many people who aren't getting the full smoothness of this site...
Corrections
I must be going bonkers. The Firebird browser shows a smooth and 'highlighted' mc5 logo, whereas the IE shows the same image but with the white rectangular background; sorry for any confusion.
Yeah...
It's a (fairly) specific (range of) version(s) of IE that don't render transparencies in pngs. I don't like gifs and I don't know how to set the default background colour of a png. Yet.
I came, I looked too..
rab]Running IE6 I see the logo is on white background too. What was clever was your screen capture insert!
*chuckles*
[Chalky] I don't even want to think about doing that
More from the bollocks department
I discover a shiny new magazine in my pigeonhole tomorrow, in which the new university logo' (for some reason, it has a trailing apostrophe in the article) was unveiled. Sadly, I can't track down a website with it on, but it looks a bit like this MANCHESTER with the number "1824" under the gold lettering. Vertically upwards and below to the left we have (on two lines) "The University" and "of Manchester" in a sort of matt grey sans-serif. In case we needed any explanation, here it is:
It features a simple, but distinctive, typographical treatment of the word "Manchester" that acknowledges the key feature of our brand and the way in which colloquially people talk about universities. ... The positioning of the full university title alongside the word "Manchester" is also a crucial element of the overall logotype, achieving a contemporary and consistent look whilst reinfocing the University's official name.
Later, we learn that "more detailed information about the reputation-building project and how to use the visual identity will be explained in a special leaflet and website". I will of course let you know when this happens.
(apologies for the bizarre timeshifting in the first sentence)
Money for old rope
[rab] I wonder which firm of consultants trousered the (no doubt) six-or-seven-figure sum for coming up with that!
[rab] Ah, but are you in the same situation as Nottingham where it's compulsory to use the corporate identity (and to make sure you're using the latest up-to-date one -- we recently had a wavy line representing the Trent River removed) on any materials designed for outside consumption (eg talk slides)?
I presume people read about East Midlands airport which wanted to get a new name everyone could identify. It's now called Nottingham East Midlands, despite the fact it's not in Nottinghamshire and the nearest places are Derby, Loughborough and Leicester.
Airport '04?
[Twiki] Are they getting American flights in? Most of us over here think they're "Durbee", "Low-burrow", and "Lie-cester"....
PNG!
[rab] No IE (on Windows, anyway. Dunno if IE5/Mac works) supports transparent PNGs. [Dujon] There's something wrong with your Firebird if it doesn't support transparent PNGs - Firefox is the way forward, of course. There are actual usability and performance improvements post-0.8.
Amazing coincidence! Maybe
[Chalky] I just noticed your email thingy up above. I used to live opposite a girl called Karen Davenport, about whom I recall nothing except that her house had great pillars at the front. Was that you? Thought not.
Chalky!!!!!
Many happy returns of the day!
Firefox
[Nik] Surely you mean post-0.7 for the last Firebird release, since 0.8 is/was the first Firefox?
replying
[Breadmaster] I've lived in a few houses in my time and recall that at least three of them had great pillars at the front. Where was it? Oh yes - if you noticed my posting about the ISIHACThemeNightInRugby - perhaps you can give some thought as to whether you can join in? Eh? Eh? Eh?

[Tobes] thank you :-)

Yankee doodles
[Dr Q+] It constantly amazes me that Americans, most of whom speak English as their 1st language, have such trouble with English place names. Especially as so many of them are duplicated in the States. Why, do you think, this should be?
Actually Nottingham already has an airport! No scheduled flights, mainly freight and private planes, but it's there, nevertheless, and I've been there to see brother-in-law's plane (of which he owns one wing and the rear wheel, or something like that.)
[Twiki] The impression I got from the little local news I ever watch was that most people in Derby, Loughborough, Leicester, etc. (or at least the ones they bothered to interview), were generally quite p-ed off by the existence of the airport and "if Nottingham want it, they can have it" (apparently believing that the renaming would somehow magically move it somewhere where they wouldn't be under the flight path).
Woooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
I've got tickets to the concert I've been waiting for! Yes! Sorry, just needed to share that with someone. :D :D :D
lucky you
At least someone has tickets. *sigh*
Damn Yankees (and I mean the baseball team :)
[HB] You usually find the more English place names in New England (esp. around Boston.) Another problem is that many names are Americanised so that some consonants are de-silenced and others are eliminated; e.g. around here, North Versailles is pronounced "North Ver-sales"; Baden is "Bay-den"; Cheswick is "Chez-wick"; East Liberty is "E-Slibberdee"; White Oak is "Whairda-helzat". Strange that Duquesne is still "Doo-kane", but there we are.
Other local towns here.
There is one more town here that's worth mentioning. It's called "SNPJ" -- I swear I am not making that up -- it stands for "Slovenska Narodna Podporna Jednota".
Place-name pronunciation
(Herr Bratsche) I think you're a bit hard on the Yanks. If there's anything that shows up the vagaries of language it's local pronunciation. For instance, in south London there's Streatham (pr. Strettum) and in Berkshire there's Streatley (pr. Streetly). And why are Ardingly and Hellingly (Sussex) pronounced as if they have a final "e"? Who knows? (Dr Q) Near Mrs Trellis' house is the 58-letter name we all know, but the locals all call it Llanfair PG. (All) Anyone here from Shrewsbury? I call it Shrooze-brie. How say you?
Shrewsbury
(Rosie)Us Bristolians call it Shrowz-brie. And why is Berkshire "Barkshire"?
and another thing
(Dr Q) In one of the jazz pubs I go to is a vast mural with a map of the lower Mississippi and New Orleans and there is a place on the river called D'Lo (presumably at one time De l'eau). We don't take anglicisation quite that far because we've got places such as Grosmont (N. Yorks) and Grosvenor (London) in which the "s" is silent, even though the names are several hundred years old. (Bigsmith) Yes, why, particuarly as Berkhampstead is BURK, but not Berkeley Square. Re Shrewsbury - two locals I have known call it Shrooze, for what it's worth.
Towns again
Towns in America often have names reflecting the language its settlers spoke, or occasionally that of the natives who previously occupied the area. Mind you, these don't quite explain some towns just East of Lancaster, PA....
Fertility
What a great name. I also like Zook's Corner ! In Tassie there is a Paradise and a Penguin, which I kind of liked.
le parking pour le big yellow taxi
In Saltfleet, Linconshire, there is a Paradise Car Park, with a sign reading Paradise Car Park, No Caravans or Camping. It's unpaved, but it's a parking lot all the same.
Damn French
[Rosie] Yes, we can blame the French for dropped "w", silent "s" and all kind of manglings. I say "Shroozebury", btw, but then I also say "Sisister" for "Cirencester", and I may well be wrong about that. I also insist on "Alster" for "Alcester", despite the tendency of south Brummies towards voicing every letter in the name of the main road that I live just off. Bah!
More Damn French
[Dr Q] How about "Day Moyn" for Des Moines, but "Noo Orleenz" for New Orleans (refer to Orleans, Normandy for original).
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord