Long story - to do with the perceived value of advertising v. news press, Head Offices streamlining procedures without informing branches, and the fast turnover of staff in the moto trade which means that no sooner have you got one contact briefed and primed than he changes jobs and you have to start all over again, etc etc. And We would have been to see them but for the fact that I have only recently gained the extra member of staff which has relieved me of the pressure of doing two people's jobs. There was no way I could have taken enough time out of the office to visit this lot in the last quarter of last year while I was qwriting news for the other 97 clients. They're all in the North of england and Scotland.

I agree with st d. Call them. :-)

[CdM](I nearly swore at you there)... you don't have to sit at my desk trying just to get put through to the people I have to talk to. Let's not talk about it any more - I've had enough for today.

pen] you obviously aren't doing it very well if they aren't coming to the phone to talk to you. I mean ...(joke joke joke joke joke joke joke) ;o)

I'm pleased you pointed out it was a joke, because I wouldn't have spotted it otherwise. :op

Anyway, who's for pizza?

I was certain that I put a move in here - and I can't find it anywhere else..have we lost anything?

anything else?

Very strange feeling - I'm meeting someone this evening and was told to be at Mornington Crescent at 8. I wanted to say something like - "Direct from Paddington? I'm not sure that's allowed under the Walsh-Hemerington Allowance of 1932, at least with an unstacked podume," but I didn't.

Just in case anyone on Celebdaq has any shares in Arnie, the Board have issued a statement to suspend his shares from midday on Thursday, 22nd January 2004, so sell any shares in him now.

The other sensational news for D class celeb watchers is the return od I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here. The line up being
John Lydon
Neil Ruddock
Alex Best
Kerry McFadden
Jordan
Mike Read
Lord Brocket
Peter Andre
Jenny Bond
Diane Modahl
I will admit even at this early stage, that my shares will be on my adolescent hero from the Sex Pistols, to become King of the Jungle.

How ignorant I am. Of the list above I recognise only Lydon, Jordon, Read and Peter Andre (Although I haven't a clue what or who he is).

Hungover :) And it seems there are those who think this site is a search engine. Odd.

What is a Fairy Hammock??

Which Mike Read? Is it:
*sings*
Mike Read, Mike Read
275 and 285
Mike Read, Mike Read
National Radio 1!
or is it Mike Read of 'Runaround............ NOW!
*Drags head out of Seventies TV and Medium Wave radio back to the noughties and the fact that she *still* can't get a digital TV signal*

So who's Lord Brocket?
And .. Jenny Bond? The 'royaller than the royals' lady?
Also ... notice that all the first names have either 4 or 5 letters in them [apart from Jordan who's a whole country anyway]
[pen] You should be able to get a radio signal - why not use the dosh to buy a DAB radio?

It's yet another indication of how woeful TV has become these days. Anything with the word "celebrity" in the title, you know will be dire; furthermore, you know that it will push the word "celebrity" so far that it will lose all meaning. I mean, George Best's wife? Someone who reports on the royal family? And those are the ones I have vaguely heard of. Remember "Celebrity Wife Swap" with the bloke who cheated on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Neither does anyone else. I was on Zig Zag when I was 10. I'd probably qualify as a "celebrity" for one of these programmes.

I think it is a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very sad thing indeed that he is appearing on that show. Very sad. I mean, really, what's the point anymore ? Why go on ?

unless of course he just tells everyone to faaark orffffff and refuses to do anything at all. That might be quite entertaining.

[st d] I think that's the idea. And frankly I hope it happens.
BTW, I'm having a slightly better afternoon today - my boss has just stopped riding his electric scooter around the office to serve me a cup of Earl Grey and a gingernut.

[Chalks] I've thought about it - but Digital TV was supposed to be an economy, because you can get digital radio through the TV. It was £60 to receive Digital TV + Digital Radio through the digibox, OR £70-odd for just digital radio through a DAB set.

[pen] Apropos of Run Around, it struck me that the Iowa caucusses which have just been held were reminiscent of Run Around.

One might think the plural of caucus would be 'cauca' [what a corker!] or even 'caucii'. My Chambers English Dic is non-committal by suggesting that the etymology is dubious and it might be derived from John Smith's Algonkian word Cawcawaassough, an adviser. I'm sure someone over can shed more light .... ?

I got some spam - normal get-rich-quick rubbish, but the following was on the end of the mail..
I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement. Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions. `With a torch.' `Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"

S'not fair snorgs - you always get the most exciting spam :-)

[Chalky] That's more or less the etymology I've heard as well, from no less eminent a source than Bill Bryson (Made In America). "caucii" seems an unlikely plural since "caucus" isn't of Latin origin... All the same though, the one thing I do know is that the real trick with spelling the plural of "caucus" is knowing when to stop.

[Duncussessesesess] After the Caucus Club of Boston (in the 1760s), possibly from Medieval Latin caucus, drinking vessel. [Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.]

Simple - the plural of caucus is caucuses. That's from the lexicon I keep here in the shack - The New Penguin E.D. - etym. 'probably of Algonquian origin'. Algonquians being of east coast American peoples; ergo - N.Y slang! ... ;-)

At 0500 hours I get a craving for chips with lots of vinegar? I'm the wrong genda to be pregnant. Maybe if I get a sex change the cravings will be justified????

Pen] The value of the set-top box has to be off-set against TV licence (going up to £121 in April). So cost of TV (£70) divided by life of TV (£10 + 7 years x £121) = £875 for 7 years viewing. I personally feel that it is not worth it. I have no TV, watch DVDs on my PC and get all my news/current affairs/entertainment from The World Service, R4, R6 & R7 on my DAB radio (£70). OK, so I miss out the quality stuff like I'm a Celeb, Emmerdale, Kilroy and The Bill, but I'll live :o).

I'm not convinced. You can't offset the cost of a digibox against the TV licence, you have to add them together! (I know that's a point against, but still...) And a Digibox will receive digital radio signals through the TV. Plus, I think you have to factor in the fact that I was going to blag half the money from my flatmate :o)
I also watch DVDs on my laptop, and listen to a lot of R4 but I do appreciate a bit of telly from time to time, especially some of the documentaries, history and natural history programmes, stuff like Grand Designs and some comedy. Last night, though, my TV wasn't switched on at all.
I think my main gripe is the fact that although they're advertising digital TV (in the BBC's case, 'pushing' - isn't that still advertising?) as much as they can, not everyone can get it and there's no schedule to let people know when they will be able to get it. When I asked, I was told to lobby my MP about it. I think that's the woolliest consumer advice I've ever received.

Pen] Yer-right!
Cost of TV (average) = £70
Cost of Set-top box = £50 (£49 in Argos)
Life expectancy of both = 7 years
7 years of TV licence at £121 = £847
Total cost of TV+set-top for 7 years viewing = £967
£967 divided by two (you and flat-mate) = £483.50.
OK so I'm a pedantic bugger, but I'm also justifying my own decision not to have a TV to myself. I do not miss the natural history stuff as the best of it is available in my local library (I watch them on my pc with my 8 year-old daughter). I also miss some documentaries but I've been at the sharp-end of BBC misrepresentation so I am only too aware of how documentaries and news items are often sexed-up to present an 'angle' that will pull in the punters rather than tell the truth.

Does the culture of mis-representation not extend as far as the hallowed halls of Radio 4? Did anyone tell John Humphries yet? As an aside (I warn you, I think I'm pre-menstrual today - I've already had a go at Mastercard on the phone this morning) The Today programme really pisses me off - the last quarter of an hour today was five mintes of JH taking the piss out of a Pensioners' Cross-Party political party which was launched today, and the other ten minutes in 'serious' debate about Cricket. I ask you...

B. the D.] News and current affairs can't be that good on DAB because you appear not to have heard that "Killroy" has been pulled. Highly amusing article on page 5 of the new "Private Eye" on the subject of Mr K.-S. by the way.

pen] Right again, the mis-representation I was subject to started on R4 - a report by Trixie Rawlinson in fact. All (sensationalist) news reporting should be taken with a pinch of salt - and somehow I find it easier to be objective to news broadcast on the Radio where there are no emotive images.
Bigsmith] I shall be more attentive for vital news like this in future ;o)

I really cannot stand The Today Programme. In my eyes it comprises largely onanistic playground squabbles masquerading as informed debate. The questions posed often fail to hit any substantive target and the guests frequently have the communication skills of a mop and bucket. Plus I simply cannot cope with that much talking first thing in the morning. R3's as much as I can cope with (prob. less than 10% chat, not to mention those long pauses they're famed for).

I have just gone over to watch a little video thing on a computer of a girl at work. It consisted of a "rifle man's view" (ie B/W with crosshairs) of some iraqis running for cover then being blown to pieces with US voice commentary on top. Now I am not commenting on the rightness or wrongness of the US soldiers doing the killing, but rather this MORON girl laughing withher nasal estuarine horse laughter at it. She seems to think it is funny ? I don't get it.

Oh god st d, I sympathise.

[st dogma] Was she laughing "huh-uh-huh,huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-huh,huh-huh" ?

[Dr Q] Bravo. Go on - don't be shy. Put the link in here aswell :-)
I'm sure rab will give it the signpost it deserves.

Yes - I promised DrQ to put a link to it on the site somewhere... what I really want to do is create a 'help' page. I've got the nuts and bolts of it written, just need to construct the text. Maybe this'll get done at the weekend.

Well, here it is, then. The MC Basic HTML Primer.

We can expect some

• Useful
• Interesting
• Informative
• Exciting and
• Bizarre

posts from now on then.

There are people here who are even more grumpy than me, which is nice. Bob the Dog has got the right idea. TV is nearly all crap. I look at the Radio Times and think "thank God for the radio - esp. R4". Jazz FM and R3 have their moments, too. But, except for the football, which is good, R5 is utterly dire. It's like a perpetual down-market You and Yours. Hasn't Susan Bookbinder got a horrible harsh voice, compared with the velvet tones of Charlotte Green and the luscious Corrie Corfield?

Funnily enough, I used to have a job which consisted of trying to think of new TV programmes (in the "light factual" category, and I think we all know what that means). It wasn't quite as soul-destroying as you might think, but let's just say it wasn't really me. I've never in my life listened to the radio apart from a few very rare occasions so I have no idea what the Today programme or any others are like...

Rosie] I'm not grumpy! Its Bob the dog by the way, never Bob the Dog.

[Bob] Who's the face on the crab?

Chalky] Ah, the crab of ineffable wisdom! I think it is David Icke. I got him from here. The following is his nemesis..

As I can't see Bob's marquees on my browser, the foregoing makes very little sense indeed.

[Rosie] Why listen to R5 if you detest it so much? I formed the same impression of it when it started, and I haven't listened to it since.

I do listen to it - but mainly quite late at night, when it's better. I listen to it in the mornings too, but wish they didn't have Nicky Campbell on then - he really is terrible at interviews!

[rab] Use a different browser then! Btd's animations are great!

Quality and TV? Ha!

It's a ridiculous cliché to say that British telly is the best in the world, but there's also some truth in it. Try watching US telly sometime - yes, there are good programmes on (after all, many of them are shown on British telly too) but the amount of utter irredeemable tripe is enormous and far outweighs the good stuff (at least on terrestrial). One very good reason that there is no licence fee in the States is that nothing being put out on the terrestrial networks is worth it.

We have a TV in order to watch Star Trek. That's about it.

To recap:

1. I created this for no reason
2. ...other than to see how it looks
3. ...and I'm impressed!

(Raak) Your logic is impeccable, but possibly does not address the practicalities. The footy on R5 is good because they never pretend a poor match is good. I have even heard Michael Green say "this is dreadful". So you get the truth, more or less. So the radio gets left on R5 sometimes and I turn it on and get all this crap I mentioned. The same can happen in the car. (Bob the lower case dog) Dreadful sorry - will be more careful in the future. Like your crabs, but could Thrax and I please have some of those F****** LOBSTERS.

I feel I must make a stand for Blode.

Much more Blode and other stuff here. Some of it is quite rude. My favorites are Big Pants Treking and The Beatles.

Oh yeah, and We Like the Moon and Mark Larma, Gerbil Farmer. My all-time favorite flash animation is this one.

My all-time favorite flash animation is this one.

[Bob] hauling you back ... I don't think that IS David Icke smiling on the crab. I thought he'd been swallowed by the 'globe of destruction' that is the bizarre workings of his mind, but it seems not. He's on the telly as I type.

I'm working at home today. Well, I say that. I'm really trying to figure out a sign-writing [by hand not machine] job for my local pub, whilst keeping a close eye on the short-term weather forecast [snow on Monday]. OK - in reality I'm faffing around on here with the ITV1 in the background. It's ever so cosy :-) OMG - D Icke is completely barking ...

David Icke used to be a harmless nutter, but now seems to be spouting dangerous anti-semitic messages. He believes that we are governed by reptiles from space under the title of the 'Babylonian Brotherhood'. He believes that the death of Pricess Diana was a sacrifice to the gods (by the Windsors, Spencers and Al-Fayeds) and that presedent Bush (amongst others) attendeds ritual baby eating sacrifices. We'll he is possibly right there. (To any American air-port officials who may wish to arrest me, that was a J O K E ok?). He hates the Freemasons who have this to say about him.

rab] following Nina posting over on Orange, would you be willing to host the film review forum and putting Anni-Verse-Ary Game to bed?

[Inkspot] I have etched my response into an Orange.

Mind you, the Verse game has not really caught on... so its replacement with, erm, something would probably be A Good Thing.

[rab] We haven't had Mornington Dictionary for a while (that is, definitions for made up words rather than new definitions for existing words). Mind you, that's usually hosted at MCiOS...