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The Banter Page
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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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awooga!
[Wol]The faults make it difficult to get to websites and do things.. Hopefully, the blokie tonight will sort it out.. [Lib]Yes you are! Wake up now!
[Raak] Thanks for that. Your experience sounds altogether less pushy, for want of a better word, than mine. Yes, it was about 18 years ago and to be truthful, I've been raaking my brains trying to remember the name of the organisation - I've even looked for the notes I made at the time. I recall that the lady who did most of the front work was called Ross. As well as being highly articulate, she was also extremely funny, which may be why my abiding memory is that of an immensely enjoyable experience. Your interesting observation regarding the Advice Game in MCiOS has prompted me to revisit, reread and revise my interpretations of some entries. Fascinating :-)
Training
I used to have great fun watching training videos for a well-known electrical company borrowed from a friend who worked for them. Themes included "How to recognise a customer" and "What do customers need?” My own experience of corporate indoctrination was when I worked for a record company and was sent on an induction day. It was a disaster. We had to offer our perceptions about customer responses to their TV ads. I told them the truth, that the ads were patronising and superficial. I lasted two weeks.
Can there be any better time to say the word "pendulum"?
hanging time...
[Thos] I don't think so. It shut us all up for five hours!
Disappointing news :o( My first new staff member was supposed to be starting on Monday but she's accepted another job instead. Poo. The next one starts on 15th December though...
Today I read a sign in the hosptial foyer.

"Due to difficulties we are unable to serve hot food in the resturant tonight. Please bare with us".

Not entirely sure how taking our clothes off will help, but willing to try!

Dr in Undressed Salad Scandal!
Uh...no comment. :)
Celebdaq
[Inkspot] I'm confused. After kneecapping on Monday, I used my ten grand to buy shares in J Wilkinson. I don't appear to have received any dividends at all. Does one have to stay with the same celeb for a full 7 days to qualify? Also - where to we find the 'Dividend Payout' List for today?
Just a final word about that course...I've actually done several of their courses over the last 10 years or so, as well as being on the organising team a few times. It's called "The Life Training", and in London it's put on every two months.
Johnny who?
Chalky] I am suprised that you have no divis as the payout is proportional to how long its been held, if a dividend is £7, and you hold that celeb from Tuesday, you will get £3, the big winners will be those that had like evil_edna who had the shares for all seven days. You can request a daily update email from the daq towers which on Fridays gives your payout plus details on divi of the week. Otherwise it means waiting till Monday when the full list will be published.
ps the reason for my long tem minus weekly gain is I have a cunning plan!
*cackle*
Jonny Wilkinson is my pretty boy! And I made it to No. 81 in the national table :o)
feeling a bit short-changed
[evil cackling woman] Perhaps there wasn't enough of him to go round - everyone wants a slice of him now :-(
Anything interesting happening in MCiOS or Orange? My ISP isn't allowing me into either server - very annoying, especially as I'm having a quiet day at home and I've got time to play .... *sound of gnashing teeth*
Hmmm
I made the mistake of getting some Michael Jackson as well. Never mind. Well done miss evil :)
daqy
I got Michael Jackson as well.. better than nothing, I suppose.. it's probably not work going for Johnny next week now. At least my computer's working again! It was the keyboard, so one new keyboard later, and everything's fine.
ISPants
[Chalky] Hmm, I can't get into outer space either...
Nnnnoooo...no pars-s-s-slow....
No chat...GAAAH!
dubious parentage
Now look here all you ex Pants chaps, it's just not cricket, shutting up the clubhouse like that when a fella's off writing a novel and not leaving a forwarding address! It was a good job a small trail of crumbs was left at the profiles page and a friend of mine called Lycos knew where you'd all gone. Consider yourself heartily rebuke, nay, castigated.
Novel post
Welcome Mr Coyote, yet another Pants refugee. I believe we are distant cousins?
Wile E Smiley!
*popping in to flash a grin at Wile E*. Am watching Channel 4's 100 Best Sexiest Scenes from the Movies and it's really rather good.....
Channel Phoar
*Curses the day he through the TV out*
Super Genius!
Welcome to our new home, WEC! And how is Marie these days?
Hello again!
[WEC] Sorry to find out that various messages were not passed on - it's so hard to find decent help these days! ... :-) Anyway, you have found a few of us; did you employ Sherlock?
[DrQ] I'm more worried about Jeeves, to be quite honest, after all he's the one who serves the drinks. Marie simply, well, err, serves otherwise.
The lovely Marie
Ah, it's heart warming to be greeted by friends both new and old alike. [Bob] Would you be the Bob of the Kensington 'the Dogs' who was splashed all over the society pages last year? [DrQ and Duj] I found Marie stood on the steps of the old Clubhouse scraping a living selling sacks (at least I thought that's what she said) and she must have been down on her luck poor girl because it seemed she had hardly a stitch to wear! I did indeed send her to procure the services of the great Mr Holmes but the last I heard he had employed a new housekeeper and had retired to bed. I fear he may be ill because that was two weeks ago and not a sound has been heard from him or Marie since! No news of Jeeves, I assumed he had been packed up with the other chattels of the club when everyone moved. I'll keep my ear to the ground.
carpet bugger
wec] 'Fraid not. No I'm one of the Bromsgrove chapter. However, I did make a splash in the society pages. As a result, I had to spend the rest of the day outside.
monopoly
Every time I look down the Home page I feel like an evil taking-over-type person! Just clarifying here that I don't do it on purpose...
jeeves update
[Anyone even remotely interested] Popped round the old place looking for any clue of Jeeves' whereabouts and heard an odd scratching sound. Turned out the old chap was asleep in the billiard room when you all locked up and he's been surviving on the contents of the belowstairs larder and discarded podumes ever since. He had planned to dig a tunnel to escape and the plan was well, advanced, he had just unupholstered a couple of the old wing chairs from the servant's lounge to make the top of the vaulting horse that he had fashioned from the Dom Perignon crates in the member's cellar when I broke in and tok him home. He was beside himself with glee and ached for news off 'his gentlemen' and I tol him that I had tracked some of them down at a swanky new club. He seemed utterly delighted and asked to come down in order to seek employment and to meet you all agan but I put him to work immediately, buffing up my favourite 'Crescent Jacket' and digging out my Lumpton Jr texts from the library so that I may fully immerse myself in play once more. It's for his own good. See you soon, must fly, he's preparing a sumptuous dish of Bernard's Turkey Drummers and Alphabites and I don't want to miss that.
Termination of Face Pyjamas
May I suggest a game of "Christmas Cards you wish you'd never received"?
Goodnight
[gil] Hmmm... sounds interesting. Perhaps one could also pastiche those "newsy" letters that people insist on sending round this time of year.
stupid pewter
Agh! My computer has flipped out again! It refuses to even start up now - I must complain to computer blokie as I think it was something he did.. (v. stressful, this..)
Pastiche and chips
Newgame] How would Christmas cards work? Like postcards from Hell? That never seemed to take off.
Round robin game? Yes! Finish off previous sentence, start next sort of thing?
This year Mary and I decided to
Takeoff
[Bob] Really?
Bob the dog sentence
murder our parents, who had long been
Erm, no then.
All] Same time same place tonight?
Rab] Ah! I've not seen that one, it looks better than the last one on !York.
snorgle] blackmailing us with photographs they took of us on holiday when we were three. Fortunatly for my parents they had
silly sentence
[Btd}...thought of this, and had boobytrapped their...
sn] catflap with gelignite. I was most suprised, a little singed and completely failed to
..effect a surreptious entrance. Seconds after the blast..
Aside
(sounds like a player - shall we get it going?)

...Mother responding by getting...

Tear in the space-time contiuum thingy!
Reverse the polarity! Divert all power to deflector! Issue 'date 1201190703.34' as root! Hopefully dialling the server's clock back an hour won't break MC5 too much...
Another vote for the Bob-the-dog sentence spectacular.
...out her feather duster...
Or of course we could always do Good News / Bad News.
Too late! The deed is done
Tuj] coming to the Online cyber-pilg tonight on the MCiOS chat server? The dress code is Cowboys 'n' Injuns.
New Game
OK. It kinda worx.
New Game
[gil] It seems to have turned rather quickly into Random Prose, though.
*** game
I was grateful to be reminded, at about 6.50pm or so yesterday, of the fantastic potential of Censored Songbook (from the King and I - 'shall we *****, shall we *****, shall we *****?'). Any takers? Possibly only subtly different from the Pants Game but, for me, right at the other end of the comedy spectrum (ie funny).
****
[Wol] Yes indeed. I second that one.
I **** it.
Item of cutlery in a hot place.
I guess we could all give it a ***.
Is it just me or is a huge chunk of the 'net unavailable today?
nonet
[Wol] I think it's ******
Did you have a good time in the chatserver last night? I spared you a thought but was too busy chasing after a puppy with paper towels and wetwipes.
I so hate Geocities!
***** game
[Wol] Is that a vote for ****ing the pants game?
Tried to access the chatserver last night but ***** internet connection in my residence won't let me. Hope a good time was had by all.
*Warning, self promotion moment approaching* I was on national radio this morning! (Well, me and about 100 of my friends). Singing a Christmas Carol (recorded in June) from our CD. Rather exciting!
*****
[rab] Why yes, I believe it is. [Boolbar] I **** cute little puppies. [Lib] Oooh - which choir? Which radio station? Which carol? I've dropped out of the singing world a bit (job, studies, baby, etc) but I remember the thrills.
sick puppy
That is a very pretty puppy. I would like to ****** it.
it is ****
I did it. I ****** the pants game. :o)
i bet you do
pen] I've heard that you like ******** as well.
So was it an early night in the Chat Server last night? I say that, because I breezed in at 11.45 dressed as The Gal Who Cain't Say No to be greeted by a party of two. Thankfully, they had mildly silly names, so i didn't feel like a complete twonk. There are times when it would be useful to have a 'peep through the window' facility :-)
chat windows...
[Chalky] We don't encourage voyeurs! You are always welcome to come in as you are, we don't mind if you're inappropriately dressed (we always have spare costumes in the cupboard anyhow.) I was calamity pen, by the way, and Ma Whisky (I think Projoy recognised me as his mother), and also the Dusty Missionary. Ooh - and Zak from the Pony Express and Will Bill Hiccup. I was not, nor ever have been, the Spittoon or the Daddy of All Spittoons. And I'm sorry I sat and wriggled on Breadslinger's knee, I was in character and I got a little carried away.
Down with ****s
[Chalky] Yeah - we were being tired, methinks. Peeping through the window would be handy - but would anyone ever enter?

So the *** game - is it entire songs, just titles or indeed non-song specific?

[pen] I was one of the spittoons and the daddy, but not concurrently.

Massive Missive Musses Trellis
[gil, Raak] With the missive, I wonder whether it would be best to push this one to the end of the year, and perhaps set down some sort of 'theme' or similar for the next?
******* Whiskey and Wild Wild Women
[pen, rab] Sounds more fun than a stuttering dress rehearsal. Three of the principals have lost their voices and it's the First Night tonight. Ho hum.
Fer Gawd's Sake someone start the new game before some bozo drops by and claims it for a round of Spit the Pontoon.
[Chalky] Be my guest.
first night breakages
Break A Leg tonight, Chalks! I had great fun in the wild west saloon, and the theme was all down to your mention of Oaklahoma, so thanks for that. I'm womdering what the venue for next week's meeting will be... the Sports Centre? A restaurant? A Country House Hotel?
small squeak
... not quite brave enough to start a new game ...

Thanks pen :-)

*CLANG!*
I was the original spittoon. How they teased me at school.
Pro Joy
Projoy] You made me so much last night I'll be sending you the laundry bill.
I think I was all the misspelt 'spitoons'...

[*** game] I would start this, but I need clarification on whether it's strictly a songbook (i.e. song titles), songs themselves (as I believe is the case on ISIHAC) or a more general game.

Missive T
Rab] You are right about MT game - it'd be better in bite sized portions. I wondered about a Jekyll and Hyde theme where player alternate personas. Bit like Goodnewsbadnews in letter format...?
Executive decision
Right - it's verses of songs (for now) but feel free to do poetry, short stories, or whatever else tickles your ****.
**** advice
I tried to start one of these **** games back at !York, but my poor attempt at explaining it (and its lack of having appeared on a then-recent ISIHAC) caused it to mutate and ultimately perish. Use it wisely, citizens of MC5.
[Wol] Hallé Orchestra and Choir, Christmas CD, on Classic FM at 7.50 this morning.
Missy Penny-lope, any time y'all wanna wriggle on ma knee, y'all go right ahead. Just watch out for ma spurs. Hhhhhhwaaaa-ding!
knee-sittin'
[Breadslinger] Did you have your cotton-pickin' eyes shut? It weren't no Miss Penny-lope a-sittin' on yer knee, it was mah own beeeootiful self!
blackballing Ma Whisky
Can we do something about that woman? She keeps following me around!
Wasn't Brian Ma Whisky the chairman of the Conservative Party under John Major?
Eeeew! And I let him sit on my knee!
Hmmph!
[Breadmaster] Pffft!
*CLANG*
* rolls slowly across the plain *
Ewired
I've just got me an evoke digital radio. Oooooooooh its soooooo good!
digirad...
Oooooh! Lucky you! I might treat myself to one for the kitchen after Christmas. Then I can listen to it while I'm surfing at home :o)
evocative
[Btd]I've had my eye on one of those..staticy radios are so-o-o-o-o annoying..
rad-ing the kitchen
[Btd, pen, snorgs] I'm still waiting for them to go down in price.
[pen] Sounds as though your PC is in your kitchen. Not so unusual really. I have a kitchen-cum-diner-cum-office, which rather places me in the centre of ground floor activity; fine if I'm home alone. It does lend itself to easy raiding of fridge, though.
gone digin'
This one was on special offer - I think because it is a 'classic fm' model and has a button to get you straight to there. I do not like classic fm very much so that button will (mostly) remain unused. Its the other channels I'm enjoying - BBC radios 6 and 7 are top of my list at the moment. 6 'cos it has interesting music and 7 because of the archived comedies including ISIHAC. And it has a pretty blue screen too.
writing in stereo
I bought a new stereo in september. When I was looking around I wanted a CD player, tape and digital radio combo, preferably in a mini hi-fi system with good speakers. However such a device is not made 9which seems a bit daft to me). Grrrr. So I just bought the stereo and will wait for a digi-radio to get cheaper. My bro has one though, so I might pinch it when he's not looking (in the evil-little sister way of doing things!).
cheapskate, me? The 7th Earl of Lancaster?
[Btd]The one I saw at Boots was £99, so how much is the Classic FM model? Is that the one at WH Smiths?
Yup - reduced to £71.
That was me by the way.
Personally I'd want a hi-fi separate digiradio, cos although these retro-style portables are all well and good I don't understand why you would want a high-quality, distortion-free digital signal piped through a three-inch speaker.
rab] This one has line out on the back (I checked before buying) - so I can (and will) use it with my seperates. And the speaker isn't bad at all!
random question
What countries are we all from on this place? I sometimes detect language/ideas from the other side of the pond, and I find it all very interesting.
countries
USA. Although I try to use the British spelling when I think about it.
Why, I'm in London. Where are you, ZK?
UK - Statford-upon-Avon.
[Bm] Kicking about a messy student flat in Birmingham :)
Kicking a dog about in a messy house in Bucks!
UK also..Birmingham also..Sutton Coldfield exactly
Oh, Angus...
[AP] (ignoring the obvious rspca-needing overtones) You just told me it wasn't that bad! :)
Kicking about in a small, scruffy semi in Herts. [Angus - where are you in Bucks? I'm just 500 yards from the county line, sheriff]
[Chalky] It's a laptop on the kitchen table. Very handy for grilling sausages while I surf, although there's never anything interesting left in my fridge. Sometimes I take the laptop upstairs to watch DVDs in bed :o)
Multi-tasking
[Pen] Does that mean that it is used as an electric frying pan cum hot water bottle? How often do you need to wash the bedding?
[Dujon] It only really needs doing if I fry fish.
Luxury
When I was small, I read a book in which a character declared that mangos should always be eaten in the bath, because of the mess. For years, eating mangos in the bath has been my idea of utter decadent pleasure. But I have since revised this to watching DVDs in bed on a laptop, which I now do frequently and with enormous satisfaction.
Eeek!
[Pen] *Urrgh!* ... ;-) [Pen & Breadmaster] Without mentioning names, there are some who frequent this web site who worry me!
Hang on, officer
Not those kinds of DVDs. Dear me...
thereabouts
I'm in Cardiff - which has finally got rather cold..
Pretty chilly in Mancatraz this morning too.

Got a delightful letter from my Grandma this weekend. My favourite comment was "The things that go on in the Villages. I could write a book about it, but they'd have to bin it.". I presume she meant that it would have to be binned because of the scandalous content, but with that combined with her rather free-form jazz writing style, there could be a Booker Prize in her...

Narrrch here, in the flatlands north east of London. Cold and sunny today.
CD DVDs?
[Dujon] Lord no, not those kinds of DVDs! The ones I can remember watching in bed are the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...and it's generally when I get 'flu, which isn't very often at all.
The NW London 'burbs are very bright and sunny. At 11.30GMT, my car is still thoroughly frosted over.
Icy here. The water inside the chicken coop froze last night. Poor chooks.
Is there a dress code for tonight? May I suggest Inuit?
[Bob] Bring your own igloo party? As long we can speak in English this week...
Cold?
It's -10 C here in balmy Pittsburgh, after Friday's 8-10 inches of thick, wet snow. Woo-hoo!
brr..
As my damn 'puters still doolally, I probably won't be there again.. :( I'll take a hammer to it tonight and try to threaten into submission, we'll see how that goes!
Geographically speaking...
Currently lurking in the Essex suburbs, to answer the earlier enquiry...
Location, Location, Location
[ZK] Portland, Oregon USA now, but formerly of various parts of the UK, and originally growing up in the fine Surrey outpost of Ilkley, W. Yorks.
random things one knows
Alan Titchmarsh grew up in Ilkley. Fact. Is Oregon east or west?
Orientation
[ZK] Of what?
[Location] Currently, just in Bucks (by about 300 yards from Beds) Very close to the Herts border, too - in fact, I drive through all 3 counties to get to work.
[Watty] Well that's a coincidence. I was born in Chorleywood, which happens to be on the Herts/Bucks border: I was born on the Herts side, by a couple of hundred yards. (A road actually runs along the border, and is appropriately called "Shire Lane" - the odd-numbered houses are Herts, the even numbers are Bucks. Or it may be the other way around.) Not so near to Berks or Beds, though.

Whereas, having gone to school in darkest mid-Somerset, now I live in Manchester...

The Titchy One
[ZK] Indeed he did - he's a patron of the theatre where I did some acting when I was growing up, and where my sisters still do.

Oregon is west coast. It's the state between California and Washington (Washington state being a completely different place from Washington DC, of course).

more interuptions
This has taken a bit longer than needed and its still not right I'm not happy about the table layout, the colours, border but finally, with my apologies for the late arrival, Dec 5 and Chalky has topped the Celebrity MC League.

At least I know slightly more than I did two weeks ago about style sheets, attributes, values and syntax, but I still need to do boxes and margins.

Oooh... nice!
[Inkspot] Nice table. I'm hanging onto Jonny Wilkinson for now ;o) even though he's gone down in value. Hoping that there'll be more about him in the papers after today's victory parade.
top chocolate
Well done Inkspot. I'm growing rather fond of my four green Mars Bars :-)
Cresdaq
How did everyone join that?
Joining Fees
[ZK] If you are interested in silly games, join up on the BBC web site, get sorted with registration and, if you ask nicely and advise your player name and number, Inkspot just might add you to the 'team'.
Where?
Sorry - it would help if I gave you an address:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/celebdaq/trade.cgi?registershow=1

Celebdaq tables
[Inkspot] Unless you are deriving some pleasure out of composing your own table, why not use a screen capture program? I hope that I am not being rude, as I do appreciate your time and trouble spent on this 'game'.
If you are interested, there is a freeware programme available at This site
An example of its output can be seen here.
That, by the way, is my one and only attempt so I'm sure it could be improved.
Hmmm
Then again, it's a bit big. I'll take that back. ... :-(
speak up!
Is anyone going to say anything today?
[pen] Still in shock from last night...
[rab] I should imagine you're exhausted . .
?
So will anyone admit what went on? It's very mysterious...
mystery
[snorgle] rab rode a bicycle around the chatroom (which relocated to an igloo last night) for about two hours. Nothing remarkable about that, you might think, until you realise the saddle was made of ice. I think he might also be suffering from being in the company of Lib in a mackerel-skin basque, Chalky in Lycra and me in a seal-skin bikini. That's a lot to take in. ;o)
We also had a visitation from a nude Jade Goody. Least said, soonest mended.
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