Is it to do with having very few cars running, local deliveries available and very few aircraft flying? Yes, as you suspected, you're in a time warp - this is the 1970's again, but this time you're old!

Don't talk to me about old. For blokes, it's the time that every bit of your body starts going stiff except the one bit you actually want to. Call that fair?

Have any of ever you become dog owners for the first time in your 50s? The windy miller and I are both now working at home for the foreseeable, and I anticipate that even after September I'll be working from home quite a bit. We're thinking seriously about it.
A friendly, middle-aged, middle-sized rescue dog of indeterminate breed would do us fine.
Any thoughts?

[pen] I'd say go for it. The dog will soon have you quickly trained. Alas, I am no longer a dog owner in my 50s, which has set me down the road of possibly looking for another.

Well I'd volunteer for the position myself, but I don't have a waggy enough tail. Go for it.

[Pablo] I know what you mean. My upper lip is not what it used to be.

(Pablo) Fair? Depends how much you spread your seed earlier. That doesn't include the bedroom floor BTW. Try being 77 and hoping for some gloriously horny old bat to turn up. It can happen.

I'm beginning to notice that the lockdown is having an effect (on me at least) similar to large quantities of alcohol in that inhibition is disappearing. Do other morniversers notice this? Who wants a fuck?

[Rosie] As I understand the Human Condition, everyone wants a fuck, but no-one is willing to give one.

(Stevie) Shurely I at least have indicated my willingness to attempt the required act. Success, of course, cannot be guaranteed.
Still ROFLMAO at your second item. Top drawer.

[Rosie] Er, something about alcohol increasing the desire but decreasing the performance? I believe you can get good beer goggles online these days ;-)

(Pablo) Androgen Deprivation Therapy Is even more effective but I've just come off it after 3 years. Hooray!

[Rosie] Ow! that sounds diabolical

(Pablo) Doesn't hurt, just reduces the libido (to about zero). Some men sprout tits but fortunately I didn't. A prostate cancer needs male hormone in order to grow. Deprive it and it goes "to sleep" and can then be zapped with radiotherapy. It seems to have worked. Well done the Royal Marsden.

Irrelevant bollocks or not, [Rosie], that's excellent news.

(pen) Tiz, innit. I look forward to putting the improvement into practice.

[Rosie] Good news indeed. Sometimes libido reduction just happens, no drugs needed. Wish it didn't. Or maybe red wine counts as a drug?

(Pablo) I don't expect at my age to go round shafting anything that moves (and certain things that don't) but it's nice to have a bit more energy, you could say.

First, Giertrud is in the ICU in the hospital in the city with the nearest hospital to the group home where she has been. Same issues that she's been having and is on oxygen. Was so sick that they thought she was non-verbal when she was admitted.

Second, that I do well with my new job. I REALLY need and am very thankful for it. I pray I do well and I hope it leads into me being able to do something that I really WANT to do. I have a few things and it might just be the company that I need to be with in order to get things going.

[Rosie]

Hidden text

Riiiight. So will the pornhub servers be featuring a "Hot'n'Horny Retired Chemist Action" category soon? Will "checking the raingauge" become a Rule-34 meme?

Found my old Mammod traction engine in the basement and decided to fire the old girl up to check she was in good repair after years sitting in a box.

The burns are healing nicely, thank you.

(Stevie) Not quite yet. You see, most people think I look about 6O but I know better. Rain-gauge? No activity all month ym Mhlas Huws. Forgotten how to do it. That's another thing.
(KagomeShuko) Best wishes for your new job and for your poor sister.

Decided to use the new Air Fryer to make a hamburger while Mrs Stevie was looking after her mother.

The burns are healing nicely, thank you.

[KagomeShuko] we're on the case.

Ah, the airfryer. It’s our patriotic duty right now to eat our bodyweight in potatoes every week to save the Dutch potato farmers whose produce is no longer being made into chips and eaten by hordes of diners and visitors. Airfryer chips/frites/frieten/patat every other night, innit?

Chips should be deep fried in beef dripping. There is no argument that can be effective against doing so.

Bugger! My May drought has been ruined by a brief shower Saturday lunchtime, amounting to 0.2 mm and therefore counting as a rain day. It still might be my driest month EVER, as people say, the Universe having been created in 1983.

[Stevie] I’d like to live a long time AND eat chips. Beef dripping is summingelse, although I’m not too keen on the lingering greasy sensation around the chops afterwards. As my dear daddy used to recite - and humour me here because we grew up 15 miles from Grimsby which had its own fishing port town reputation at the time - :
Little girls from Grimsby
Blue eyes and cherry lips
Every time you kiss them
They taste of fish and chips.

(pen) Nothing wrong with that. Award yourself an LLB, Lincolnshire Lip Balm. Sooooo much nicer than garlicky breath.

[penelope] And your point is? I agree wholeheartedly and unreservedly with Rosie. Watch out for avian pigs.

[Rosie] I guffawed! (which looks like it might be a Welsh word but I bet it isn't and now I have to go google its etymology.)

(pen) It does rather, doesn't it, but it's not in my copy of Y Geiriadur Mawr, ("The Big Wordery"). It can join my other favourite warthog. Incidentally arthog literally means bear-like and as in English the sub-text is "grumpy". BTW can't wait to hear you guffaw.

It's awfully quiet in here. Is everyone well?

[pen] The usual ta. My Chambers Dictionary says guffawed is onomatopoeic, disappointingly.

(pen) I'm very well, thanks, but bored stiff. Could do with a bit of conversation.

[pen] Well, how's Project Dog coming along?

[Simons] Had two hot leads this week (see what I did there?) but one (Stanbijhoun/Collie cross) was withdrawn from sale and the other (wire-haired fox terrier) was sold before we could go over to see it. We keep searching, and some friends are putting the word out for us too - which might prove more fruitful.

Well I have just enacted Project Beer and Project Less Hair, but I really ought to get on with Project Barstools, Project Chair and Project Plates. I have been having a smashing time recently. I should also enact Project Washing Up, but I particularly hate that one. But no space for a dishwasher, unfortunately.

Project Star Wars Rulebook is in the home straight, but that's a marathon, and there's still weeks at least before I'll finish it. Especially as there's content I'd like to farm out into a couple of other books which are barely into draft stage.

I am so thankful that I have a job and that I can work from home with this virus being so rampant, and especially now, that the area where I live has one of the highest rates of people infected with the virus (I don't go out and do all that much as it is - I prefer small gathers, but even those are happening much). Anyway, though, this job is tiring. I worked 50+ hours last week. I need to spend some time putting out job proposals when I happen to have time. I'm praying that I can start teaching theatre online somehow - and be paid for it, not just independently.

[KS] How is Giertrud?

Thanks for asking. She's not doing well. She's still about a three hour drive away from where I am. They want to move her into a nursing home because they said her medical issues are too much for her to go back to the group home. In a way, I think she will be happier, but I also worry about her. She's not supposed to eat anything by mouth, and she is very hard headed about what she wants to do and I worry she'll get a hold of food or the nursing home will make a mistake and give her food and then she'll eventually not make it because somebody won't catch her pneumonia. I'm quite angry at the medical community in Louisiana right now since nobody had actually tried to find what is wrong now and they just keep tossing her from place to place.

8o(

What Stevie emojied.

My usual "system update" check 'post' also for funny stuff

Giertrud called me recently. She is now at the nursing home Legacy in Plaquemine, Louisiana. She sounded much better and much happier than she has been for a long time. She told me that they did a swallow test and that this time it was different as they put a camera up her nose and watched her eat live. She said that they give her a medicine to break up secretions and that it tastes bitter. However, it seems to help. She said that when she eats, they saw that secretions seem to pool in her throat. She told me that they are going to soon try to allow her to eat soft foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She's been going to speech and physical therapy and there is somebody who helps her remember how to brush her brush her teeth. She also said that she sleeps sitting up. That might help with the secretions.

We actually talked for over a half hour. I could mainly understand her. The conversation didn't get too repetitive. She's in room 421 and she loves her 420 jokes, so of course she had to say it was a minute past time to smoke marijuana. We mainly talked about the dogs and dogs that we've had. She didn't dwell too much on Krueger and Nala and agreed if she is ever able to come home, small dogs like chihuahuas are much better for her. They at least have to be calmer.

So, I'm praying that she is finally in a place that can help her get better. Who knows what will happen if she gets better, but right now, not much really matters with this virus.

I'm sure the nursing home environment is better for her than the group home. She was actually out in a public area and able to call me.

(KagomeShuko) I wish her the best and I'm sure the whole Morniverse does too. Maybe things are on the up. We all hope so.

(KagomeShuko) That does sound like a positive improvement. My best wishes to you both.

So, it seems like the issue with Giertrud isn't going away. I got a call from the nursing home/rehab facility and they said they were sending Briana to the hospital because it seemed like she aspirated. I don't know what that will mean for her eating. I know she was thrilled to be eating again.

Hey all. So, when they called for the mandatory evacuation from Lake Charles, I picked up a few things and got out. I didn't take time to pack up tons of things. I didn't want to get stuck at home or in traffic. I went north and found myself in West Monroe, Louisiana. I found one single hotel room. It was literally THE hotel with a room vacancy that I could find. Somebody had ended up cancelling that night. So, I had my service dogs, no change of clothes, and my laptop, basically. I had a few other things, but I couldn't pack up everything because of my back problems and not wanting to get stuck in the traffic or in heavy rain. Lake Charles is in awful condition. My house had a tree fall through the roof of the back of my rooms. So, the roof and ceiling is all ruined in two main rooms, maybe a little bathroom, and a little area where a file cabinet can fit. Some people have helped me with donating some money so I could get some clothes and eat and should be able to travel when I check out of the hotel on September 4th. My job is one that I do from home as it is. At first, I thought I wasn't happy with the company, but they have really stepped up. They payed for the hotel from the day Ii checked in and then checking out on the 4th. I will have a host up in Tennessee while Lake Charles and my house are all being repaired. Lake Charles does not have any running water or any electricity. I think it was only one life that the storm, itself, took. I know another one was taken when somebody fell off of a ladder. Most of them seem to end up being because people will get a generator, they won't get a CO alarm, and they will run the generator and they will place it somewhere they think it safe and it may seem so, but CO gas seeps into their house. That's sad and it is sad seeing all of the destruction in my hometown. I know we will rebuild, but it certainly hurts my heart.

(KagomeShuko) Life is dealing you some lousy cards just now. At least you have somewhere to stay and don't forget you will always have friends here.

I made it up to Tennessee. My host will be home this evening. I'm sad for Lake Charles. There are people who rode out the storm. There are people who were only able to leave for a bit while the storm hit and had to go back. They say it will be at least three weeks before electricity is restored to the city. Water is iffy and if people can get water, it is under a boil advisory . . . which, if people have electric stoves, is basically impossible for them . . .

[KagomeShuko] Let's hope this brings out the best in neighbours so they can help each other until things start to get back to normal. A colleague was with her family in Florida and was caught in the storms there a couple of years ago - she blogged in detail and very movingly about the incredible neighbourliness she experienced. I hope that happens for your community.
And don't forget to take good care of yourself too - without feeling guilty. Without that, you can't look after anyone else either.

Another fortnight, another two weeks working at home, and still no closer to being able to return to the UK for a visit. (Complicated by my UK family's bubble to protect my sister who's about to start chemotherapy to complete her treatment for ovarian cancer - thankfully she should make a full recovery.)
Feeling a bit exiled TBH. Distracting myself by walking the dog loads and have raised 200 quid for Cancer Research as a result - and have lost weight - so it's not all bad.

Giertrud passed away today.

[KS] So so sorry to hear that. You're in our thoughts.

[KS] Sad news indeed. I'm sorry for your loss.

[KS] So sorry to hear of your loss. I have just been re-reading some of her contributions here: she will be missed.

[KS] Sincere condolences.

Sorry for your loss. Very sad to hear.

Vale Giertrud.
Chin up, KS, time does heal - as I can verify (my daughter was killed earlier this year in a MVA.) You seem to have had a bad trot of late, so it's time to think positive and take care of the future. Good luck.

[Dujon] Please also accept my deep sympathy; that is just awful to hear.

Thanks, CdM, but I should not have let that slip. Grief is very personal thing, so, please, no more messages, everyone.
That is not to criticise KS as Giertrud was a contributor to the MC community.

After such a period of respectful silence, I propose that we now resume doing what made us all come here in the first place - to celebrate life, intelligence, being funny, and being too-bloody-clever-by-half with words.
You go first.

I shall, penelope.
See, I've done it.

This is the one place that keeps me sane. That and the piano.

For me it's my collection of singing potatoes.

[SM] Are they accompanied by a Maris Piper?