Don't talk to me about old. For blokes, it's the time that every bit of your body starts going stiff except the one bit you actually want to. Call that fair?

Have any of ever you become dog owners for the first time in your 50s? The windy miller and I are both now working at home for the foreseeable, and I anticipate that even after September I'll be working from home quite a bit. We're thinking seriously about it.
A friendly, middle-aged, middle-sized rescue dog of indeterminate breed would do us fine.
Any thoughts?

[pen] I'd say go for it. The dog will soon have you quickly trained. Alas, I am no longer a dog owner in my 50s, which has set me down the road of possibly looking for another.

Well I'd volunteer for the position myself, but I don't have a waggy enough tail. Go for it.

[Pablo] I know what you mean. My upper lip is not what it used to be.

(Pablo) Fair? Depends how much you spread your seed earlier. That doesn't include the bedroom floor BTW. Try being 77 and hoping for some gloriously horny old bat to turn up. It can happen.

I'm beginning to notice that the lockdown is having an effect (on me at least) similar to large quantities of alcohol in that inhibition is disappearing. Do other morniversers notice this? Who wants a fuck?

[Rosie] As I understand the Human Condition, everyone wants a fuck, but no-one is willing to give one.

(Stevie) Shurely I at least have indicated my willingness to attempt the required act. Success, of course, cannot be guaranteed.
Still ROFLMAO at your second item. Top drawer.

[Rosie] Er, something about alcohol increasing the desire but decreasing the performance? I believe you can get good beer goggles online these days ;-)

(Pablo) Androgen Deprivation Therapy Is even more effective but I've just come off it after 3 years. Hooray!

[Rosie] Ow! that sounds diabolical

(Pablo) Doesn't hurt, just reduces the libido (to about zero). Some men sprout tits but fortunately I didn't. A prostate cancer needs male hormone in order to grow. Deprive it and it goes "to sleep" and can then be zapped with radiotherapy. It seems to have worked. Well done the Royal Marsden.

Irrelevant bollocks or not, [Rosie], that's excellent news.

(pen) Tiz, innit. I look forward to putting the improvement into practice.

[Rosie] Good news indeed. Sometimes libido reduction just happens, no drugs needed. Wish it didn't. Or maybe red wine counts as a drug?

(Pablo) I don't expect at my age to go round shafting anything that moves (and certain things that don't) but it's nice to have a bit more energy, you could say.

First, Giertrud is in the ICU in the hospital in the city with the nearest hospital to the group home where she has been. Same issues that she's been having and is on oxygen. Was so sick that they thought she was non-verbal when she was admitted.

Second, that I do well with my new job. I REALLY need and am very thankful for it. I pray I do well and I hope it leads into me being able to do something that I really WANT to do. I have a few things and it might just be the company that I need to be with in order to get things going.

[Rosie]

Hidden text

Riiiight. So will the pornhub servers be featuring a "Hot'n'Horny Retired Chemist Action" category soon? Will "checking the raingauge" become a Rule-34 meme?

Found my old Mammod traction engine in the basement and decided to fire the old girl up to check she was in good repair after years sitting in a box.

The burns are healing nicely, thank you.

(Stevie) Not quite yet. You see, most people think I look about 6O but I know better. Rain-gauge? No activity all month ym Mhlas Huws. Forgotten how to do it. That's another thing.
(KagomeShuko) Best wishes for your new job and for your poor sister.

Decided to use the new Air Fryer to make a hamburger while Mrs Stevie was looking after her mother.

The burns are healing nicely, thank you.

[KagomeShuko] we're on the case.

Ah, the airfryer. It’s our patriotic duty right now to eat our bodyweight in potatoes every week to save the Dutch potato farmers whose produce is no longer being made into chips and eaten by hordes of diners and visitors. Airfryer chips/frites/frieten/patat every other night, innit?

Chips should be deep fried in beef dripping. There is no argument that can be effective against doing so.

Bugger! My May drought has been ruined by a brief shower Saturday lunchtime, amounting to 0.2 mm and therefore counting as a rain day. It still might be my driest month EVER, as people say, the Universe having been created in 1983.

[Stevie] I’d like to live a long time AND eat chips. Beef dripping is summingelse, although I’m not too keen on the lingering greasy sensation around the chops afterwards. As my dear daddy used to recite - and humour me here because we grew up 15 miles from Grimsby which had its own fishing port town reputation at the time - :
Little girls from Grimsby
Blue eyes and cherry lips
Every time you kiss them
They taste of fish and chips.

(pen) Nothing wrong with that. Award yourself an LLB, Lincolnshire Lip Balm. Sooooo much nicer than garlicky breath.

[penelope] And your point is? I agree wholeheartedly and unreservedly with Rosie. Watch out for avian pigs.

[Rosie] I guffawed! (which looks like it might be a Welsh word but I bet it isn't and now I have to go google its etymology.)

(pen) It does rather, doesn't it, but it's not in my copy of Y Geiriadur Mawr, ("The Big Wordery"). It can join my other favourite warthog. Incidentally arthog literally means bear-like and as in English the sub-text is "grumpy". BTW can't wait to hear you guffaw.

It's awfully quiet in here. Is everyone well?

[pen] The usual ta. My Chambers Dictionary says guffawed is onomatopoeic, disappointingly.

(pen) I'm very well, thanks, but bored stiff. Could do with a bit of conversation.

[pen] Well, how's Project Dog coming along?

[Simons] Had two hot leads this week (see what I did there?) but one (Stanbijhoun/Collie cross) was withdrawn from sale and the other (wire-haired fox terrier) was sold before we could go over to see it. We keep searching, and some friends are putting the word out for us too - which might prove more fruitful.

Well I have just enacted Project Beer and Project Less Hair, but I really ought to get on with Project Barstools, Project Chair and Project Plates. I have been having a smashing time recently. I should also enact Project Washing Up, but I particularly hate that one. But no space for a dishwasher, unfortunately.

Project Star Wars Rulebook is in the home straight, but that's a marathon, and there's still weeks at least before I'll finish it. Especially as there's content I'd like to farm out into a couple of other books which are barely into draft stage.