Belated MHR for Sat. last, Rosie.

(Duj) Many thanks mate. Trombones abundant.

I have a riddle: If you're going down a river at 2MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?

3.

[KagomeShuko] *Holds hands about 3 feet apart* This colour.

(KS) At least 5 foot 8.

[KS] Fish

[KS] If it's the roof of your mouth we're talking about, the answer is to change your brand of pancake mix pronto.

Merry Christmas everyone at MC5

Happy Christmas and especial thanks be unto Rab, Rob, Dan, Dunx, Jim, Rich, Wild Pants, Yoz and all the other hosters of international silliness.

(SM) Hear, hear.

Also, what Rosie said.

Merry Christmas, all!!!

I bought this CD by U2, but I want my money back. It never told me how to dismantle an atomic bomb!

Ha well you'd have thought that a spy plane would know something about it. But on further investigation it's written by a bunch of Irishmen, a nation not known for their atomic status nor for spying prowess.

2019 A day or so ago I wished a friend a happy new year to which he answered "You too."

So I echo his sentiments, late as they are, to all participants in this world of oddness.

(Dujon) I don't know if this sort of thing happens in Oz but the barometric pressure in the last few days in the UK has been up to 1045 mb but the weather associated with it has been some of the most boring I can remember. Saw the sun today for the first time since Christmas.

It might, Rosie, but an hPa/mb reading above 1040 at Maison Dujon is unusual, although not unheard of. High pressure systems generally produce settled weather and clear skies, but that's not always the case.

Locally we have been having a short spell of hot weather. Rather than fill this space with data, I refer you to this (rather rough) image.

(Duj) Those curves are quite unlike anything I get, quite apart from the warmth. On a fine day here the temperature rises very rapidly to start with then the rate tails off to a fairly smooth maximum apart from the jagged short-period variations of about one degree. What's the "apparent temperature"? It seems to be about 2° above the actual temperature, day and night. I see something rather dramatic happened in the afternoon of the last day. Cool southerlies taking over? I bet you're relieved.

[Rosie] Apparent Temperature? It's a "feels like" approximation relating to how the human body reacts to current conditions. If you pop off to one of my web sites here and open the INFO section of the menu bar you will find a few other methods of calculating that in the middle "Bio Indexes" [sic] choice.
If you bang around the site you will find other data showing local conditions, current and historical. As far as the temperature curves, yes, it tends to trend to maximum and then descend to minimum readings at a fairly rapid rate, although the falling temperature is generally somewhat slower than the the rising one.
After two days of relatively cool maxima as I type the outside temperature is a little over 31ºC with a projected maximum of or about 35ºC.

(Dujon) I've only had two 35's in 36 years, 3 Aug 90 and 10 Aug 03. Highest minimum was 20.0°C, lowest max was something I didn't think was possible, viz -9.2°C and on this day in 1987.

(Rosie) -9ºC maximum? Blimey, that is a bit on the parky side. Since I've lived in this part of the country we haven't had a minimum that approaches that level of coolness. I have three Canadian cyberfriends who would giggle at that - one is in Quebec (Montreal) and the other two out west in B.C. where a maximum of -20ºC is apparently a balmy winter's day.

(Duj) It was a sunny day with snow on the ground and a light easterly wind and it just wouldn't warm up. The reason lay in the air above, an import from north-west Russia. Even the high June sun falling on dry ground would have made little impression on that column of frigidity so the January sun slanting in on a snow surface had no chance. AFAIK my recording was the lowest in the country (unofficial) but if there'd been a weather station at the top of the North Downs, nearly 900 ft, it would have been colder still, the opposite of what normally happens when it gets very cold. The temperature was below freezing continuously for 11 days and stayed below -5°C for 3 days. The UK record for a low max is -19°C (Braemar, Scottish Highlands, 10/1/82). Nothing could move; all the diesel had waxed out.

[Rosie] Extremes like that don't happen here on the rock. Currently 9.6C, forecast minimum 6C. And my wife says it's cold.

(Softers) I'm sure there have been a few occasions when Jersey has been the hottest place in "Britain", being affected by a hot blast from France.

(Rosie) Don't expect any short term communication. The BoM forecast for our Penrith. As a rule of thumb knock off 2ºC for Chateau Duj. Image here
As I type it's just after 1430hrs and 38.0ºC outside in the shade.

(Duj) It's about 38°F (3°C) here. The scene is brightened by a couple of inches of snow on the ground and brilliant low sunshine.

[Rosie] Hottest? Only once or twice ISTR.

(Rosie) For you, sir. Here. It is only January - from Christmas on to the new year it was much the same.
Where is everyone? This is not the weather channel.

[Dujon] I’m in Lithuania for a few days. A concert of Armenian music on folk instruments last night, now seeing the sights of Vilnius before coming home Sunday.

Another warm, still, sunny day - up to 16°C in the grounds of Plas Huws and it's still only February. Knowing that March and early April can be utterly foul I'm not looking forward to the end of this spell.

I believe I am having a touch of hay fever. In February! 13°C here, bright sunshine, and promising so for the next few days.

(Temperature estimate from the BBC weather site, not an actual thermometer in my garden.)

(Raak) Assuming you're in Naarj I'd say the temperature was a little higher than that - possibly 15-16°C. Max 15.9° here in the Elevated Surrey Desert.

It's been 18.8°C in the grounds of Plas Huws today, a February record (for here) by some distance, the previous best being 17.0°C in Feb 98. I even had the back door open, unheard of in Feb.

It's summer, that's what it is.

Summer what, Raak?

[Dujon] It's icumen in.

(Duj) It's already come in. 20.8°C here this afternoon. This is higher than the average max for June. You may laugh.

Same in Glasgow, where Gorbals' warming is now obvious.

Why would I laugh, Rosie? If you thought that I might, then I suspect you would break into loud guffaws should I reveal how often the minimum temperature at Castille Duwhan dropped below the freezing point (of water). ;)
If it will make you feel any better it's 11:00 on Wednesday as I type; The outside shade temperature is 22.1ºC. As we use the meteorological seasons in this country, this coming Friday is the first day of our Autumn (as opposed to the equinox on 2019-03-21 08.59 my summer time *bring out George Gershwin or it'll be too late*).

(Dujon) It freezes overnight here on an average of 39 days a year and stays below freezing all day on 3 days.
Our hot very mild spell has ended. March will probably be 'orrible, wet and cold with an average temperature about 6°C with sleet and floods. (That's not a forecast, it's a miserablism).

I came across this today:

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20190310-why-britains-rain-cant-sustain-its-thirst

Is it that serous? It must be admitted that more people means more use of water. Ergo, reduce the population? Stop all immigration? One child per couple? A shower per person per month? Desalinate the Atlantic and the North Sea?

To save you from a cut-and-paste exercise, the link is: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20190310-why-britains-rain-cant-sustain-its-thirst
My apologies for the carelessness.

(Duj) The average annual rainfall here at Hughes Hall since 1983 is 822 mm, considerably more that the 500-600 mentioned in the link for SE England and there is no significant trend over the period. It's not enough partly because a huge amount leaks from the mains and partly because people are extravagant with it, laying it out to dry in the garden for instance. Metering ought to be compulsory.

Yes, Rosie, metering here is compulsory. In other words you pay for what you use. Then again, my son who lives about a half-hour drive to my west does not have reticulated water - he has a 50,000 litre storage tank system (i.e. water collected from his roof). Many households have the same, regardless of reticulation.

As an aside, I have a solar panel array on my roof, even though I have electricity 'piped' to my residence. It will take some years to pay off the initial investment, but it sure as heck saves me and the grid many KiloWatt hours of usage.

This just in: Solar panels designed to secretly suck power out of the grid during night hours. Power companies implicated in complex billing scam. Film at eleven.

Orlando area Florida fields were awash in solar panels last summer. Everywhere here wasn't an amusement park or timeshare complex, there was a few acres of solar panelage. I even saw an enormous solar panel installation to one side of a development that had yet to break ground as far as housing went.

It's all those condominiums, Stevie. Are you not aware that they soak up all the infrared radiation during the day and, come evening, release the stored energy to heat the beaches?

(Duj) penult. Here, we just call it the mains. Quite harmless.

(Rosie) Not to my wallet it isn't.

I know I've not been here in a long time. Right now, the main reason being my sister Briana (Giertrud here) is in the hospital. I brought her to the doctor on March 25 afraid of signs of concussion and her doctor sent her to the ER. She was sent to a room and a night later went into respiratory distress. She was on a ventilator and sedated for a few days because she had a rare form of pneumonia. The doctor thinks that is gone, but she still can't seem to breathe on her own, her temperature keeps going down and they don't know why, and now, she can't seem to swallow either. We need prayers for the doctors to be able to figure out what is going wrong and know how to fix it and also for Briana to get better.

Oh, when she went into respiratory distress, they sent her to the ICU. They tried sending her to a floor, but her temperature was staying low and she still couldn't breathe. Hopefully things will be better this time, but she does have a nasal cannula and she also has an NG tube feeding her right now.

Ok, we're on it.

[KagomeShuko] That is distressing news. I do hope there is a positive outcome for you both.

(KagomeShuko) I hope they can discover the problem and can fix it not just for her sake but for yours and everyone here.

[KagomeShuko] any updates?

Since about 3 a.m. Monday we've had 3.8 inches of rain here. My gauge nearly overfloweth but not quite. This afternoon it took me over 10 minutes to drive 0.7 mile locally, all in bottom gear, along the mighty B269 which like every other road round here has blocked drains, Surrey CC being too impoverished to clear them.

[Rosie] Tsk. Brexit fever has robbed you of your hard-learned Metric abilities. No longer able to measure things in milli-hogsheads per pascal-coulomb you revert to the anachronistic inches. Good for you. Like putting on an old pair of slippers. Pleasant once you get past the two-bob bit in the lining of the right one.

I shall attempt to have someone record the amount of wet that will fall on us during the Stevielings Open-Air Nuptials in Florida at the end of June. Fearing the worst I have arranged for the congregation to lurk within tent. A tent with no sides so that they will be lured into a false sense of weatherproofing until the winds pick up. Bwa-ha and I might venture an additional "ha" into the bargain.

Midday 18°C, evening 27°C. Tomorrow and the rest of the week forecast 35°C, and this is only Belgium. Cat dehydrated, am attempting dripfeed with milk.

(Bismarck) We will miss the heatwave by about two hundred miles (i.e. a meteorological hair's breadth). Shame - I was looking for a genuine excuse not to do much except gawp at thunderstorms.

Is milk the best thing for cats? A lot of people don't seem to think so. Put a dirty old frying pan out in the garden with some water in it - he'll go for it.

[Rosie] The essence of experimentation has the subject's welfare only tangentially in mind.

For cats, Rosie, it is not. I have been advised so over the years by various veterinarians. The cats over those years who deigned to live with us have been offered only water. They drink very little of it. Perhaps they collect enough of the stuff from the food that they eat - or maybe the few shallow trays we keep topped up in the garden for the use of our avian friends.

(Dujon) A cat's paw moves faster than light if it means business. Are the little dickies aware of this?

[Dujon] Perhaps they drink very little of it because they keep waiting for the milk!

[Rosie] Yes they are. In all my time here I have not come across a bundle of feathers in my gardens. Nor has my wife, the gardener of the Dujon Estate. I put down that to the calls some birds make when danger is imminent, particularly from the colloquially named 'Noisy Miner'.

[CdM] Given that most of them there cats lived to seventeen years on average, I have to doubt that supposition. :)

Hidden text

absolutely fucking pissing down

at Plas Huws 'round midnite. We seem to be under a line of heavy showers. "Hazardous driving conditions" for those who have never driven in rain before.

Happy birthday, "A Sticky End". It is exactly one year since you last had a move played.