(pen) Do you mean to say the Dutch can't pronounce Machynlleth? Whatever next?

[Rosie] Corris Youth Hostel, 1972ish.

Newly arrived party from Oop North: "We just come over th'ill".
Me: Which "thill" was that?
NAPFON: "Cadder Eye-driss"
Me: " It's pronounced 'Cadder ID-riss'. Where did you come from?"
NAPFOM: "Borth! Dornt gu t'Borth!"
Me: "I certainly won't. Where are you headed next?"
NAPFOM: "Muh KIN lith"
Me: "It's pronounced Muh CHIN lith"
NAPFON: "Oh. Right. Ta."
Me: "Don't mention it"

It occurs to me now, having written this down and read it over, that it is just possible that the NAPFON may have misunderstood that last line as a polite response to their thanks, rather than an earnest instruction not to speak the name "Mu CHIN Lith" aloud. Such misunderstandings have been irritatingly frequent in my life.

I shan't mention it.

(pen) "Ch" is guttural and separate from the "s". First "e" short; the others are schwas. Next up - Dwygyfylchi. Dim gŵglio.

"Diggy-figgy"?

[Rosie] No. S-[swallow-the-back-of-your-tongue-noise]-ay-ferni-[swallow-the-G]-en. *wink*

(pen) Well, I was nearly right. Nearly, sort of.
(Raak) Close. In Wikipaedia it gives the correct IPA representation then f***s it up completely with an English version and gives the wrong meaning. I don't know what the meaning is except that it's two something-or-others. Dwy ("Doo-ee", but very "back") is the feminine form of dau = "two".

What about Wrotham and Meopham?

Or indeed Gotham and Haugham?

(pen) Goat-em. I knew that anyway but Haugham is a guess. Hoff-em?

'Haffem' - hamlet where me mum and dad lived just before I was born.

So: There was a young lady of Haugham..........
Root-em, Mepp-em, BTW.

Bluebottle Tennis. Open the window in your office, and the door at the opposite end of the room. You and your colleague compete to chase the fly out using copies of the alumni magazine and the Annual Report.

I've just read Phil's brilliant concluder to the latest limerick and laughed out loud. Despite my best efforts to drag the standard down, he's made a classy ending.