Hope your Christmases went well and the new year is suitably novel.

Indeed. Which novel should we aim to replicate in 2014? HNY, you lot.

(Stevie) Thank you for waiting till midnight GMT.

I've started the New Year with bungling and ranting. TYpical.

(pen) Keep it up. Eliminate the crap. BTW You've made a TYpo. :-)

Bungling and rating? Could be ... *wink*

[pen] Burgling and panting?

Anonymous defamation is simply pathetic. Even if it were justified criticism, which it isn't, posting it anonymously is the behaviour of a half-baked, duplicitous, weak-minded troll.

(Phil) He's probably getting at me, for reasons best known to himself, and has hijacked a limerick to do so. Not good. Probably thinks this site cliquey but too dim to realise that firstly, it isn't, and secondly, if he thinks it is then all he needs do to join the clique is simply not be an arsehole. The wit, widsom and wordplay of all is welcomed, as has been proved dozens of times with newcomers.

Jeez it's tedious doing HTML.in here on an iPhone. *tap tap tappity tap*

The capital "P" is no disguise - we know you're in there. Hurry up - I'm dying.

[Rosie] I laughed out loud. But now I've got to grips with the titchy keyboard on this eyephone, I'm back to my normal self.

So... Thursday, eh? And what has the week delivered for you lot? For me: I've finally finished all the satsumas in the house. I'm going to buy some more in a minute from the new supermarket on the university campus. It's a hard habit to break, two per day since November... Exciting times.

I finished up the week by watching penguins emerge from the ocean.

[CdM] a penguin automat? I finished the week in the greengrocer's, being reminded that I needed potatoes. I love independent shops.

[CdM] Don't be ridiculous. Amphibians emerged from the oceans, had dinosaur babies who laid penguin eggs. Read a book!

[Dan] I've just reread my bible*, and it says no such thing. In fact it has very little discussion of penguins at all.

[flerdle] I think Coles' and Woolworth's online shopping could probably do that for you as well. And it would save all the pesky hanging around, chatting, making friends and so on.**

*Full disclosure: I do not actually own a bible.
**cf. Sirius Cybercorp.

If you said "Cole's" in the U.S., we'd assume it was Kohl's.

[CdM] It's better in the original Greek anyway.