has anyone been to sheringham? funky steam trains there, although a bit limited. was a big fan of Thomas the Tank Engine when younger but by the time I came along, they didn't make 'em like that any more! Nevertheless, I will always hold an affinity for Ringo Starr and his funnelled companions.

[Dujon] A good point, and that's probably at least a little of it (particularly if I have a low opinion of the intelligence of the person I'm talking to). But I tend to be shy around people I don't know, and the pressure to maintain a conversation in that situation makes me default to easier words simply because it's hard enough to string a sentence together as it is. In a more relaxed situation with friends, the more complicated words come more easily, and if someone doesn't know a word, I shrug and define it for them. Another aspect of it, probably, is that with people I don't know, the topic of conversation is rarely complicated enough to require any specialized vocabulary.

[re: junk] My excuse for accumulating huge piles of junk is that I might want to glue some of it together into sculpture. Of course, this rarely happens, but the fact that it does happen once in a while makes it that much harder to throw any of it away. From where I'm sitting, I can count nine empty cigarette boxes (one of them an interesting little slide-drawer thing), an attractive Harrods cookie tin, and a large lump of rusty metal that I haven't any idea what it is.

Mwhahahahahahhaha!

Don'tcha just LOVE these cosy late night chats?

Half pickled Thursday afternoons; don't you people understand that I'm supposed to be working/

{Riff} Indeed. I remember with fondness the silly word games and references in which my family indulged over the evening meal. When I finally went to a job I found that all of my witty(?) remarks simply floated above. I was, to be honest, devastated. Nevertheless, I have finally found a 'home' in the various M.C. style web sites. Whilst my 'witty' remarks are not alway appreciated and, having met many who are far more clever than myself, I find that I rather like this community.

Sorry for the pathetic overtones, but it's true.

I'm not that good at small talk, I find it tiring and often don't know what to talk about, and so just lapse into silence, listen, watch, etc. If it's something I'm interested in, I can talk about/around it, or if I have nothing to say, can listen to someone burble on, and ask a question or two, or add something here or there (often surprising people, in the process, it seems). I'm learning to ask questions. I'm always much more comfortable with one or two other people, or in small groups rather than large ones, and definitely preferably people I know. I don't know about any men/women difference. But I am willing to let conversations pause.

Some people find this disconcerting, or think I'm boring, or (more likely) stupid. *shrugs*. It's lonely sometimes, but places like this are very good, and I think I've learned a great deal. Thanks.

[flerdle] I'm exactly the same, and I quite agree.

The "other one" out of the disorders that manifest themselves in compulsive menky collecting types of behaviour is Asperger Syndrome, believed in recent years to be a sort of autism-lite. It basically is intended to be an umbrella label for those with somewhat impaired social skills, a preoccupation with abstract hobbies on which they "perseverate" (e.g. focus on to the exclusion of all else for long periods of time, including when talking to someone else) and who find it difficult to empathise or instinctively understand other people's motivations. For a time I believed I was aspergic until I actually went out and met some people who really were and had the chance to compare. This was a painful exercise which involved listening politely to the full details of the history of South West trains. After years of neglect it has become an extremely fashionable diagnosis recently for children, and, it seems to me, is overapplied.

[Smalltalk] I'm exceptionally bad at smalltalk, and also don't respond well to it. I'm not one of these people who generally can talk to, say, a hairdresser, probably because I feel like I have no common reference points. That said, where I fall down is not being very good at the verbal parrying that establishes what the common reference points are. This is made worse by being a hopeless bloke, having no interested in cars, football and, to a certain extent, tits. So even the usual gambits just fail on me miserably. This probably marks me out as being 'boring', and would probably be confirmed if my interlocutors were to discover those subjects I do have an opinion about. New people can be problematic, too. I don't know if flerdle or penelope remember what I was like when I turned up at my first pilg...

[Aspergers] I have a friend who is like this, and his mum suggested he might have Aspergers. However a friendly medic who had met him immediately said "No, he's not got Aspergers"... I think there is a fashion to give everything a fancy label nowadays, and like Projoy, believe this is not a good thing. I would have thought it were obvious that different people approach things differently, and there's degrees of conformance to the "standard" way of doing things (known popularly as "normality").

In fact, drawing these two stands together, I find most "normal" people rather dull. Is this just me being an arrogant arse-wit?

[Aside] Am currently "working" at home, and the phone rang whilst composing the above. The caller hung up immediately. I hate that - why can't they just admit to having dialled a wrong number? I don't think it was a potential burglar...